#bc i am HAPPY for them but i dont know how to articulate that hesring about it reminds me of where i am and i am just stuck!!!

[devilfic]

everyone I know is in love or falling in love and it’s being reciprocated and I really just had to sit down and realize that all I’m doing is writing and reading about fictional characters and that’s like it. hahaha

#mjspeaks #ugly rant #everyone is living their lives even now #and i dont want to try dating apps because i dont like the atmosphere #and i put so much work into cultivating actual geniune relationships with people they never work out #idk man im so tired of crying abojt it writing abt it pretending im fine abt it when people tell me about their lovers #bc i am HAPPY for them but i dont know how to articulate that hesring about it reminds me of where i am and i am just stuck!!! #i do so much and it doesnt mayter no one seems to see me that way no matter how much i dedicate myself to making it happen it doesnt happen #i feel so terrible all the time its earing my alive #i knkw a relationship wont fix me thats not what i want i just want to know theres someone who sees me that way #who thinks of me that way #i deserve to know #its been so long i just want tk know if someone wants me thag way i cant keep doing this anymore