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9/1/17, 1:04am - Girls, Fertility, Etc

Ok, computer’s tryna brick out on me so that’s a pain in the ass but I really wanted to write about this week before I got too far away from it because it was fucking incredible lol.

That date with Sally that I left off on ended up going absolutely phenomenally. It almost crashed and burned though. Right when I got off work and we were supposed to meet up she stopped responding to me. I thought she pulled the dirtiest flakeout I’ve ever seen when I got around waiting for 45 minutes, but eventually she told me where to meet up with her lol. At her apartment complex I stood out in the lawn, waving at this cat that was on its hind legs staring at me through a glass door. As I’d wave it’d shimmy around. Such a cuuutey. She finally came outside after a bit, and she said she kind of wanted sushi which I was just going to suck up. But as we walked across the parking lot her dog freakkkkked out whining, it was so loud and tragic sounding that we decided to just stay in and get food delivered if we wanted it later. (We didn’t, probably should’ve, I hadn’t eaten all day lol) First I got to know her pets a bit. Her dog was rambunctious as fuck, and her cat was the calmest friendliest cat I’ve seen in a fucking minute. Like snuggling up on my hand licking me to pieces friendly. I fixed her dog’s collar, and she was kind of impressed immediately by how well I got along with both of them. I made us some coke and rum, we sat down and watched the tick and cuddled with her pupper in the dark for a while. After three episodes and three more coke and rums we were both pretty fucking tipsy and started to ignore the show in favor of just talking about shit. We were talking about chinese food (she loved that I’d tried all her favorites at Gourmet Kingdom), and religion and a whole bunch of stuff, tried to restart the show a few times, but got distracted making out instead lmao. We fucked on her couch. We both wanted to smoke one of her cigarettes but she didn’t have a lighter, so she dared me to run naked across her apartment complex parking lot to get one from my car. I popped outside and was immmeeddddiately almost spotted by this family of like 5 or 6 people that walked out at the same time. Hid behind a tree and tweeted about it lmfao. So when I got back we sat outside on the porch, her on my lap, both of us naked smoking cigarettes and chatting about whatever. It was a beautiful fucking night. Then she invited me back to her bedroom and we had sex some more and passed out.

I woke up throwing up with a terrible hangover. Probably should’ve eaten something. She didn’t remember much, but we talked about how she had a good time and we want to see each other again. It’s just hard with my schedule taking up all my weekends. I guess we’ll see.

So Sunday I came back home, ate some wendy’s and nursed my hangover by finishing watching the tick (pretty solid, actually. Definitely enjoyed it). When I felt better I hit up Becky to see if she still wanted to hang out. She said she still wanted to, I went into the bathroom to wash up and found out Sally fucking chomppped my neck, gave me one of the biggest hickeys of my life lmfao.

Hanging out with Becky was awesome, too. We watched the new Death Note movie, and she’s really into horror movies so we watched Children of the Corn since neither of us had seen it. Went down on each other and went out to chipotle lol. While we were eating she told me that she does the same finger gun-point thing I do, and that apparently it’s a stereotypical bi thing. That’s fuckin neat/weird lmao. We went back to my place, watched the first episode of stranger things and then fucked a bunch, cuddled and talked about anime for a long time. Bonus self esteem points for a girl wanting to fuck the shit out of me totally sober lol. I’m supposed to see her again tomorrow before I head out to work. Gonna go to her club meeting where she’s gonna teach me some japanese! Pretty fucking cool. Both of them are awesome. There’s no way this could backfire on me, right?!

lol anyway, Monday I went out to hang out with smith and dan all day. Smoked and played melee for hours. Got bodied in tournament, probably shouldn’t have entered lol it’s too hard to play high. I was like napping under a table. Hung out at smith’s that night playing rivals of aether and smoking, got caught up on Dragonball Super with him, was super cash. But the reason I stayed there was for my fertility test on tuesday! Almost fucking overslept and missed it lmao, but made it there late enough that they’d still see me (called ahead thank god lab appointments aren’t so strict). Got the results just a couple hours later and I’m sterile! Fucking made it, fam. No more pregnancy scares, nothin. So pumped actually lol. Hung out with Karn for a sec before heading back home to gboro. Was going to skip entering the tournament because I felt really off, but did anyway and managed to get fourth. Pretty neat, but missed making some money by thiiiis much lol.

Went out to karaoke and smoked with some people out back again. People fucking love me there, I love greensboro so much. It’s like living in easy mode where everyone just thinks you’re great. Actually for the first time someone hated me instantly it was this fat chick who was making these 4 bear pun jokes and I was reallllly stoned and just didn’t get it so I was like “why? Is it because you’re a bear?” and I snorted and she fucking gives me these Daggers and says “no it’s because my name is Panda, you fucking asshole.” lmao I guess my fat shaming comes out a little too easy.

There was also this suppppper plastered dude there who saw that me and this girl knew all the words to this song that someone was singing (I mean it’s karaoke people pick fucking popular songs), so he claps us both on the shoulders and he was like “HEY. Have you (points to girl) met him?” so we like semiawkwardly shake hands lol. Then he claps his arm around my shoulder and gives me this sly look and says “eh? I’m pretty good, huh?” I about laughed my ass off hahahah. She was fairly cute. Had some acne, but a nice body. I thought she was going to have to hate me bc she was friends with that panda girl (which occurred afterwards) but then when she saw me sing she actually wanted to talk to me a bit. Complimented me a bunch, said I did great. I said I’m glad to hear it because i’m never really sure. And she said “well it doesn’t really take much to please this crowd.” I asked her what she did and she said wait tables, and I say yeah but what about for fun I think. She said Well I hate myself so I’m here most of the time. I Actually laughed my ass off that time. Was just like “same, tbh. Too me for me.” I’ve been getting drunk and saying ‘t.b.h.’ a lot like it’s a better word lmfao. Idk. her name’s mary though. I had hit up my gay queen friend Josh to see what he was up to, and he encouraged me to hit up the bar near my house to hang out with him and his friends. Is like referring to his friends as the queen’s guard and shit it’s all way too tryhard for me. We were gonna go party at someone’s house so he had me pick up a bunch of beer. Instead we went back to his place and had a really long heart to heart and made out for a while. He was a much better kisser than most guys and his lips were nice, but godddd fucking damn do I hate the roughness of dudes’ faces. I warned him a bunch of times that I was just teasing him and that we weren’t going to hook up, but he wanted me to stay and cuddle with him, so I did. He was talking shit saying he could beat me at smash bros, so I had to lmfao. We played a bunch and made out some more and he wanted me to give him a massage or some shit because I had been rubbing his shoulders earlier, but I wasn’t really having it. We ended up hanging out until like 7am so I was just like “alright nah I’ve gotta go to sleep now.” Then in the morning I said I had to go throw up and was going home even though he wanted me to stick around. It was honestly a pretty weird experience, not in that it was awkward that he wanted to hook up with me so bad, but moreso in that a lot of the things he said or did to try to get me to stay or hook up with him were like... literally the exact same kind of moves I had pulled with girls in the past. Like I heard my own words coming out of his mouth and that was very amusing. Like I literally laughed in his face when he was talking about some positive characteristic of my personality. I mean we did have a nice heart to heart about a lot of shit, but He kept saying shit like “i know we had a connection the moment I met you” and shit, and it made me think he was just trying too hard to see shit that wasn’t there. Acting like that other dude who wanted to hook up with me while I was stoned as balls. Maybe all dudes really are pigs? bahahaha. w.e. Actually, nah. Like Josh’s friend Prevo or whatever was actually a super respectable dude, seems like he really cares about his daughter and everything. But at least most are. At least I am lmfao.

I remember I got some great hot dogs from this woman on the curb named cherl. Ball park franks. Delicious. I spent way too much fucking money celebrating my infertility that night hahahaha.

So the next day I took it easy. I really didn’t feel all that great, it wasn’t totally a lie to dip from Josh’s. So I sat around watching hearthstone and shit until I got motivated to watch Becky’s favorite anime. Kyoukai no Kanata (beyond the boundary) had me fucking hooked instantly. Was really good, binge watched it until like 630am. Then slept most of today.

And at work earlier I finally beat that hearthstone challenge thing I was working on the past two weeks too. Fucking luckedddd out it was super satisfying because I was like actually hating it intensely hahaha.

So this week was fucking prime. Always feels cool to be getting up to story worthy shenanigans. Excited to see Becky again tomorrow.

Something something motivational signoff. <3

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