#atlaschatter

[atlasoffline]

if I don't make this post now I never will

hi I'm atlas I'm here now and this will be my very informal space for anything and everything

I might tag some things retroactively when I'm not on mobile because it's easier for me, but if you need me to add specific trigger warnings just hit me up and I'll make sure those always get added

eventually I want to make this blog prettier and more customized but I'm really tired at the moment

this will be a mostly SFW blog with occasionally risqué content but please do me the courtesy of only following if you are 18+

#atlaschatter

[atlasoffline]

it's difficult to enjoy creating content or events for vr when I no longer feel comfortable around most people within the community. There are some diamonds of sincere creators and players that I will always appreciate, but it is difficult to watch some of those same people actively interact with more malicious folks. It has soured my experience so much and I find it very difficult to build friendships with anyone because on top of my personal social anxieties I have to worry about the rest of someone else's connections and honestly I don't have that kind of energy nor the desire to comb through the intricacies of someone's social life.

I think this year I want to really focus what little energy and time I do have outside of work on my booth shop, the archive and maybe crafting public worlds for cvr and vrchat. Ultimately I just want to make things, especially things people can utilize and experience for free. That is what brings me the most joy.

goals for this new year are just taking care of myself, taking care of my loved ones, and trying to be useful to the rest of the universe in my own small ways. Trying to stay kind but not naive. And having more patience and understanding for other people.

this past year has been a big and difficult adventure and I may not have come through it stronger but I made it through it. my social circle is very small but very quality and I am so grateful for that. I love them all so much

anyway I am maybe not going to make the MOST out of this year, but I will make something out of it. I look forward to the process, which is not something I ever thought I would feel for this long. so wish me luck!

#atlaschatter

[atlasoffline]

life update I guess

finally feel like I know what I'm doing at this new job, had a slow week because of the holiday but working an earlier shift and probably busier shift this week. overall though I can't complain, it's working out well for me and aside from taking up most of my time, it's not making me feel mentally bad usually, just tired

that being said, putting my functioning human face on all day and making sure I'm doing things right and on time and being polite and also traveling back and forth to work every day then coming home to deal with everything else I have to do is draining

I honestly want to sleep most of the time but when I sleep I get too far behind on everything and when things pile up I can't enjoy the things I genuinely do enjoy without immense guilt

needless to say, I didn't miss working full time. but I'm grateful to be at a job now that isn't literally traumatizing me every day and to have income again.

anyway hopefully I'll hollow out some time and energy to catch up on and finish some projects. too many creative thoughts and desires, no time to see them through

#atlaschatter