#at least with the Unangax̂ name i could verify all that

[the-phoenix-heart]

The Table Human Names

(You may have seen these human names on another site. I thought it was finally time to post it on Tumblr. Also, some names have since been updated.)

These are the standard human names that the states usually use when they have to hide their identities. These are also for my sake, because I need them for...reasons...fanfic reasons...

My usual pattern for naming the states is their first name starts with the first letter of their state and their last name the second letter of their acronym. Sometimes I play around with that format, for example if someone already has the two letters of their acronym I play with their last name or if a last name that doesn't follow the pattern I make their middle name follow the pattern. I try to have their names emblematic of the people that live in that state, but obviously some names I went more American with than others. The less I care about a character the less effort I will put into their name.

I did implement a rule for the "New" states that I could ignore the first part of their name if I so pleased. Although I think I only used that for one of them.

In universe the states usually don't think about their human names a lot. Either it was assigned to them or it was just the vibe they were picking up when they named themselves. Some of them do think a little bit more on their names and the meanings. If I'm writing the states as states you will almost never see their human names come up. The states don't see their human names as their real names and just as fake names.

Note: For three of these names I used Native American names in them as tributes they would pay to the Native Americans in their land. I flipped flopped back and forth on if this was a good idea or a bad one. I eventually decided to risk it but if enough people think it is insensitive and take issue with this I will change them. On to the names!

Alabama - Alexander Smith

- Probably has gone by Albert before, but nobody takes a guy named Albert seriously. His first human name was probably Alfred. Sometimes southern states will mess up and call him either of those names.

Alaska - Anatoly Tanax̂ Morozov

- Anatoly is a Russian name meaning “sunrise” which I felt was fitting since the sunrises in Alaska and doesn’t set for a long ass time. Morozov I got from @icestarphoenix and I felt was a good last name for him. Tanax̂ is an Aleut/Unangax̂ (Unangax̂ is their self-name) name meaning "land" or "place", I thought Alaska would take on a tribute name for the people he got his name from in the first place. I hope you appreciate this because I actually had to read a book to get this name. I broke my rules for this one.

Arizona - Armando Ziegler

- I gave him a Spanish name since he was originally a Mexican territory. His last name is German partially because there aren't a lot of good Z last names that are Spanish, but also because Mexico does have a German population and German is the third most spoken non English language in Arizona.

Arkansas - Archer Dubois-Johnson

- Ark switches between using Dubois and Johnson as his last name. On paperwork with his human name he'll probably just use both. Dubois because it was his last name back when he was French and Johnson because he just liked that Anglo name.

California - Camilo “Calvin” Goldsmith

- Camilo is the name he prefers to use as his human name, but because of slip ups with his state name Calvin gets used quite a bit. I almost went with Calvino which IS a Spanish name but it means BALD so XD no. Goldsmith is obvious.

CDC - Charles Drew-Collins

- I wasn't originally going to include CDC, but I came up with a name for him so dammit I’m gonna keep him here. Drew is obviously a reference to his actor.

Colorado - Colton Mendoza

- I got the idea for Colorado's last name to be Mendoza from @hibiscuslynx, although I had already decided to name Connecticut Connor. Colton just felt like a Colorado name.

Connecticut - Connor Thompson

- Here's a note, if it is part of New England, chances are I didn't put that much thought into it.

DC (District) - Dean-Cooper Washington

- He did not get to choose his name lmao. At least he has a good excuse as to why he can just call himself "DC" around regular people. He's pissed that he and Gov share a last name.

Delaware - Daniel Edwards

- Honestly just thought of a D name and then an E name. Not much thought in this one.

Florida - Fernando Juan Ponce de Leon Rodriguez

- Florida is extra and would just straight up take Juan Ponce de Leon as a middle name to commemorate him.  

Georgia - George Peachtree Andrews

- Georgia is tired. If Georgia wasn't a girl's name which makes him feel emasculated then he'd just go with that. As it stands, George. And his middle is Peachtree because he's lazy and it's a reference to Atlanta (and also I neglected to look at Georgia's initials so I originally had Peachtree as his honest to god last name). Andrews is just an A last name.

Gov - Franklin Abraham Washington

- Yeah I just took three famous presidents and smashed their names together. You're lucky I didn't call him Grover.

Hawaii - Hōkūlani Kahale

- Hōkūlani meaning: "Heavenly Star". The name is especially fitting because names including "lani" were usually reserved for chiefs in ancient Hawaii. I don't imagine she uses a last name often, since traditionally Hawaiians did not have last names, but she does have one she uses if she has to. Kahale meanings "house" or "home" in Hawaiian, which I felt was fitting as she is the home for Hawaiians. She was one of the characters I threw my rules out for.

Idaho - Ian Dickinson

- Just gave him a name with ID initials. And also a pun about his state name lmao.

Illinois - Issac Lincoln

- IL initials. Lincoln because he’s the Land of Lincoln. Pretty much all of what I refer to as the “FourGettable I States” did not get a lot of thought into their names. Except for Iowa, for some ungodly reason.

Indiana - Isaiah Newton "Indiana Jones"

- Indiana would LOVE to be called "Isaiah", but unfortunately pretty much no one remembers that name and just calls him Indiana Jones which he hates.

Iowa - Izod Allard

- Originally I had his last name down as Ike Andrews. Unfortunately, I realized upon re-read that Georgia had that last name so I switched gears. The Iowa state flag is modeled off of France's flag, therefore he gets a French name with the initials IA. Only Louisiana can remember his name and most just call him Izzie when pretending to be human.

Kansas - Keaton Sampson

- Keaton just stuck out to me for no reason and Sampson was the first "S" last name I thought of so I went with it.

Kentucky - Kent Yarbrough

- Kentucky is lazy and just uses Kent for his first name. Yarbrough is just a Y last name.

Louisiana - Louis Hebert Beaugard

- Louis for his name because that’s easy. Also another rule I had was if a States first name was basically their name they didn’t need to follow my rules. Hebert is both a common Cajun last name and first name. Beaugard is the Cajun spelling of the French last name Beauregard. I imagine that Beauregard would have been his last name back when he was French, but after Cajun influences he would have changed the spelling.

Maine - Morgan Eugene Barbeau

- Morgan as a gender neutral name of course. Maine's name was fun because there's a history of Scots-Irish people in the area as well as French people which mean I got to play. "Morgan" means "born of the sea" and is a Gaelic name, and "Barbeau" is a French name meaning "fisherman". The middle name of Eugene was an afterthought but I like how it sounds. Eugene in this case is working as a varient of Ewan.

Maryland - Marion Douglas

- Marion came to me first and then later I thought of Douglas.

Massachusetts - Matthew Adams

- Matthew sounds fairly close to Massachusetts and is a religious name. Adams is a reference to all the Adamses from his state. And also a reference to that Adam I guess.

Michigan - Michael "Misha" Nieminen

- I got the idea for Michigan's name being Michael/Misha from icestarphoenix (I know it seems like I keep taking names from other creators, but they just work really well and I think I bring enough of my own stuff to The Table). "Nieminen" is a Finnish last name meaning peninsula, which Michigan is. There was a lot of Finnish immigration to Michigan back in the day.

Minnesota - Magnus Nygaard

- Minnesota was settled a lot by Scandinavians, and as I had neglected them a bit for my names of states I decided to do that for Minnie (he gets called Minnie as well quite a bit). Magnus means "Great" but also it's just a name often used by Scandinavians in general. Nygaard means "new farm/homestead/garden" which Minnesota's status as a frontier state would make him.

Mississippi - Milo Sebastian-Sawyer Payne

- Once again icestarphoenix inspired me. When I first posted this list his name was shorter (Milo James Sawyer) but their headcanon name for Mississippi made me want to give him a longer name. I did the same for other states anyway so why not him as well. So MSSP are his initials now. All of the names just gave me Mississippi vibes. I also am of the belief that southern names need to be able to be loudly yelled by their mother to work.

Missouri - Mason Osborne

- Mason stuck out to me for Missouri for some reason. Osborne I used mostly because I was tired of looking at "O" last names.

Montana - Marcus Thorn

- Fun fact about me: My dad wanted to name me Montana after his home state. Glad he didn't win that argument because I would have been the butt of SEVERAL jokes after Hannah Montana came out. Marcus and Thorn were just names I thought sounded neat or cool.

New Hampshire - Nicholas Hamilton

- NH. I considered making his last or first name Hunter, but eh decided against it.

New Jersey - Joey Cifarelli

- Joey is a J name. Cifarelli means “Devil Demon” and is a reference to the Jersey Devil.

New Mexico - Niyol Martinez

- "Niyol" is a name in the Navajo language that means "wind" which I felt was fitting for New Mexico. I know that New Mexico is probably not Native American in any way and I headcanon Navajo Nation has its own personification (backed up by canon), but I feel like New Mexico would feel a connection to the Navajo people and take human first name that reflected that (I also think Arizona would feel a connection with them but New Mexico is the only one in canon to mention them). And Martinez is a Spanish last name.

New York - Yancy Malone

- Yancey is just such a New York name I couldn't not give it to him. I gave him an M last name as a reference to Manhattan.

Nebraska - Ned Brandt

- Humans sometimes call him Edward because Ned can be a nickname for that. Honestly did not put that much thought into his name.

Nevada - Narciso Vega

- I was originally going to call Nevada "Narcissus" but then I saw I could just call him Narciso which is the name is Spanish.  Vega because...well, Las Vegas.

North Carolina - Nathaniel Carrow

- Nathaniel because it had a similar ending to the name I gave South Carolina and Carrow because, why not? Actually it is a bit fitting since Carrow actually means like rock or hill, and it reminded me of the Carolina Back Country (fun fact when my family first came to America all the way back in the 1690s they lived in the Carolina Back Country).

North Dakota - Noah Dakota

- The Dakotas use Dakota for their last names, because they are lazy but they also constantly argue about the other changing theirs. Noah is just an N name.

Ohio - Owen Hughes-Irving Oakley

- OH! IO! Yeah and I just went with names that sounded very white.

Oklahoma - Oliver Kanuna Kempf

- Oliver was just an O name. Kempf is a K name, but I also liked the meaning for Oklahoma alright, “fight.” Kanuna is a Cherokee name meaning "bullfrog" which happens to be the state amphibian. I gave him a Cherokee middle name because Cherokee nation is located in Oklahoma and is a big part of it.

Oregon - Oscar Reynolds

- Oregon is like, the one confirmed gay character in the series, or at least the closest. Oscar is a reference to Oscar Wilde, a gay writer, and Reynolds is a very backdoor reference to Ryan Reynolds, who got a mention in "LBGTQ+ Comes to the Table" where Dan says that he knows he's gay because of Ryan Reynolds. Oregon didn't even appear in that episode, but I ran with it. Let me have my fun, this project has mostly been a lot of stress and research.

Pennsylvania - Philip Arnold

- Phillip because it shares a root word with Philadelphia, and Arnold because not only is it German in origin, but also because it means "Strength of an Eagle" which felt fitting for PA. He still usually goes by PA when he's acting like a human.

Rhode Island - Rhodey Isaias Peters-Prince

- Rhodey is a no brainer. Isaias is for his initials. I decided to have his last name as a PP as a reference to Rhode Island and Providence Plantation, since I thought it'd be funny to give him a long name. Peters is a reference to Peter Griffin, and Prince is just Prince. In recent times he has dropped his double last name and is currently shopping around for a new last name. If Lovecraft wasn’t such a loaded person then he probably would have already co-opted his last name.

South Carolina - Samuel Carrow

- They do share the same last name even though they claim they don't like sharing it. SC.

South Dakota - Silas Dakota

- Dakota as his last name same as North. Silas just had a good ring to it, but it is also a Roman god of the countryside and forests and Idk that felt fitting for South Dakota. I think he would brag to ND that his name is better than his.

Tennessee - Tobias Nash

- Tobias is a T name, and Nash is a reference to Nashville.

Texas - Tristan Xavier (Tejano Ximenez)

- Tristan Xavier is just a TX name. Tejano Ximenez is the name I think that he would have gone by back when he was much more Spanish/Mexican/Texican, but he would have made the switch later in life. I mention it because I just really like the name.

Utah - Uriel Beckett Turner

- Uriel is the name of an angel, no brainer. Beckett was taken from icestarphoenix, once again, although I spelled it the regular way (I know the joke is how dumb Utah spells it but I’m boring lmao). This time it was more of, Beckett was a great name for Utah so I wanted a reference to it. Turner is just a last name starting with "T" although I like the idea of Utah taking his last name from Illythia.

Vermont - Vincent Robert-Madison Taylor

- Honestly just went with vibes. I did intentionally give him the initials VRMT. Just felt right.

Virginia - Victor Alfred

- Victor is a V name. Alfred is an old English name fitting for the Old Dominion. And also a reference to Hetalia.

Washington - Washington Green

- Washington is a no brainer. Though he is bitter he has to share his human first name with DC and Gov's last name. His last name is a reference to his status as The Evergreen State.

West Virginia - Walker Virginia

- Walker just had West vibes. Virginia remains pissed off that West just went and made Virginia his last name to piss him off.

Wisconsin - Wade Ixonia

- Wisconsin just gave off "Wade" vibes. "Ixonia" is fun because it's the name of a town in Wisconsin that picked its name by drawing letters of the alphabet. Wisconsin is a little shit and I love that for him.

Wyoming - William Yates

- Just a WY name.

#ben brainard #wttt #wttsh #welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #not tagging all the states are you crazy?? #alaska hawaii and new york's might be my favorites #but i also love gov florida both of the south and wisconsin's #actually y'know what I'm quite proud of most of these #hey just a note: check your fucking sources #finding a middle name for alaska was like pulling teeth because NOTHING is properly sourced #couldn't find any areas of origin for those inuit names or even their languages #at least with the Unangax̂ name i could verify all that #on that note don't lump all inuit tribes together #they all have their own cultures and areas they are from #soap box moment over