#apparently i have weak legs as well as...stomach 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magniloquent-raven · 2 years

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Just going to apologize in advance if this makes no sense, and for bombarding your inbox randomly. It’s 1 AM and I’m having trans Eddie thoughts that I need to get out and share to somebody 😭😭

Thinking about Eddie getting hurt in the Upside Down while the crew is battling Vecna. Not taking as much damage from the Interdimensional creature as Steve did from those demobats, but it’s still pretty bad.

Though he doesn’t realize exactly how bad until they’ve defeated Vecna and are all recouping at Steve’s house, deciding it would be the only place they could go without having to worry about parents or the literal town mob trying to hunt Eddie down.

Until he starts feeling dizzy, but still insisting he’s fine as he sits on Mrs. Harrington’s “priceless” couch, not even Steve giving a shit that he would have to scrub Upside Down goo out of it afterwards as they all stare at Eddie’s wound.

Three claw-like marks carved into his stomach, apparently deeper than he originally thought as the world as he knew it went fuzzy around the edges. But even in his delirious, exhausted state he fights, declaring that he doesn’t and won’t take his shirt off. That it’s really not that big of a deal.

It gets to the point where Dustin and Jonathan have to hold Eddie down, Steve being weak and in no shape to hold against his wild thrashes, while Robin wrestle’s the shirt right from his torso. Meanwhile Max and Lucas rummage through Steve’s kitchen cabinets trying to find some sort of bandage or an antiseptic, anything medical related, really. Nancy determining carefully who can spare an extra layer just in case.

And it takes a good five minutes for even Robin to shimmy the shirt off of a wild Eddie Munson, thrashing with all the might left in his body until he had nothing left to give.

It was a shirt victory, Robin throwing her hands up in success, but only for a moment until she realizes how the room was now the most silent it had been all night.

“What?” She’d ask with a dumb smile, looking at all of her counterparts confused faces before turning her head back to Eddie, a gut sinking realization turning the blood in her veins ice cold.

But what really broke her heart was Eddie’s expression, broken, face scrunched up as a single tear dropped from his left eye like he was waiting for someone to start yelling, or god forbid hitting.

And all Robin could think was: “What have I done?”

AH IM SO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN FOR IT TO GET THAT LONG, I have major trans Eddie brain worms, you can ignore this if you want, no pressure or anything, I just needed to get this out 😭😭

NoooO, NO APOLOGIZING!!!

god i can imagine tho. he's like, half-conscious because it's been a hell of a day and every time his side twinged he told himself it was nothing, it's fine, he can just power through it. til the adrenaline wears off and he crashes, suddenly realizing just how much blood is soaking the inside of his jacket, and how much it fucking hurts, and it all hits him so fast he gets lightheaded.

and he's so out of it he doesn't really know what's happening when everyone rushes to his side. he can't think, he's just panicking, like a feral cat with a broken leg.

then the room just goes silent and it does nothing to make him less skittish.

meanwhile steve...doesn't really understand what's going on, but he can tell it's not good, robin looks fucking devastated and eddie...well.

so, steve's on damage control. someone's gotta do something and the silence is making him itch. for once the kids actually listen to him, too shocked and uncomfortable to put up a fight when he shoos them out of the room. he makes excuses about them needing to clean up the mess they made of his kitchen. they file out, exchanging awkward glances.

nancy's the second person to recover enough to open her mouth, and she immediately puts her foot in it. it's not malicious, but the "so, you're..." is pointed enough to make eddie flinch.

which is when jonathan cuts in with a soft "nance." and a meaningful look that she raises her eyebrows at, not quite getting it.

robin is much louder, a little too loud because she's trying so hard not to lose her shit, practically bellowing, "there's something over here that i wanna show you, let's go." as she takes ahold of nancy's elbow and pulls her out of the room.

then it's just jonathan and steve left, both of them shifting from foot to foot, unsure how to proceed.

and eddie can't stand the fucking tension. the sheer weight of the silence, and made infinitely worse by the barely discernible whispers from the next room. he's seconds away from covering his ears and humming like a child so he doesn't strain himself trying to make out what they're saying. he doesn't want to know, not really. if he didn't have his arms crossed over his chest he might've done it already.

it's the waiting that's killing him. the seconds stretched to breaking point, his lungs seized and burning, full of air he can't quite exhale without it trembling on his way out, catching in his throat and breaking into a sob.

when he finally cracks the nervous pitch of his voice makes something inside him shrivel and die. "so are you two regretting saving a freak from the town mob, or what. am i about to be the victim of a hate crime, because i'd like to know...now."

"jesus, no--"

"dude, what--"

they stumble over each other and stutter to a halt.

it takes another couple awkward starts for the conversation to peter out and everyone to remember that eddie is, in fact, bleeding out. they patch him up without another word, politely averting their eyes as much as they can and choosing not to comment on the way eddie trembles the whole time with barely contained anxiety, breathing with forced steadiness like he's fighting off a panic attack.

so for that first little while, it's up there with some of the worst moments of eddie's life. and considering the week he's had, that's saying a lot.

after the bandages are in place and steve excuses himself, eddie is seriously considering seeing if he can outrun jonathan in his condition. he's got half a plan to escape into the woods and go into hiding for the rest of his life when steve comes back with a grave expression and a red shirt clutched in his hand.

he tosses it at eddie. "for your modesty," he says lightly, one corner of his mouth lifted slightly. the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"very funny, harrington."

"i thought so." a pause. "figured, uh. a button-up. helpful. y'know, so you don't need to lift your arms."

eddie squints at him. then the shirt in his lap. there's something itching in the back of his brain that he can't quite reach. it gets worse as he struggles into the first sleeve. "doesn't seem like your style, dude. you didn't--" a horrible thought occurs to him and he freezes with the shirt hanging off one shoulder-- "you didn't get this outta your mom's closet or something, did you?"

"what? no! no, it's..." his breath catches mid-sentence, like whatever words he's trying to push out have thorns. "someone i was seeing left it here, alright."

"...yeah, that's not better," eddie mutters. but as he lifts it up his other arm, the collar coming to settle around his neck, a waft of distinctly masculine cologne hits him square in the face. it's not whatever expensive shit steve wears, it's something else. vaguely familiar. conjuring images of a presence filling the halls of hawkins high, loud and attention grabbing, a laugh that never quite sounded right, a bottle of painkillers he sold at a discount because he had a gut feeling and...

oh. wait a fucking second.

eddie blinks. and stares at steve.

he shrugs, sheepish.

jonathan glances between the two of them, his brow furrowed.

it's an apology, eddie's sure of it. a peace offering. and the last thing he would've expected from steve harrington. wrapping his brain around him being semi-decent to some nerds was one thing, this is in a whole other league. he might have to take a week to himself just to process.

at least he's too confused to be worried now, jesus.

steve's quick to change the subject. quick to fill the spaces in their conversation with well-meaning chatter. it's obvious what he's doing, and eddie almost wants to be annoyed at how obvious it is, except it's fucking working. stupid charming bastard.

he can't fix everything, but he does pull eddie back from the edge of a complete breakdown.

there are still awkward questions, later. and nancy won't stop looking like she's about to spontaneously combust from the effort it takes to keep her nosiness at bay. and dustin claps him on the shoulder and tells him all about his aunt who used to be his uncle and reassures him nothing's changed. about six times. robin pulls him aside to apologize profusely. incessantly. he can't get a word in while she cries and explains that what happened to him is basically her worst nightmare and she's so fucking sorry. it's a little too much and a little bit not enough, but suddenly her and steve's friendship is starting to make a lot more sense.

and then there's max.

after everyone's gotten sleeping bags laid out on the floor and settle in for the night, eddie sneaks out back for a smoke and moment to just...be.

except max follows him, visibly nervous and unable to make eye contact.

he's so close to the end of his rope he nearly tells the kid to get lost, but in the end he's glad he didn't. the second max stutters out "so how do you, like, know if you're a guy..." his annoyance melts away. it's not the awkward fumbling of someone who's never asked themself that before. never realized there could be people like him. it's not accusatory. it's familiar. so familiar it cuts right to his core.

"i had questions like that, for starters."

eddie's always been terrified of being outed. he's going to cry about it later. he's going to have an anxious voice in the back of his head for months. it'll take longer to heal than his gut wound, despite steve and robin's attempts at solidarity, despite jonathan's quiet indifference, and dustin's clumsy acceptance. despite none of it turning out worst-case-scenario.

but this...the mentor thing. he can do this. he's shepherded nerds for years, and loved every second of it.

if he's right about this, it might make it all worth it.

#i wasnt ignoring ur ask i was just being slow 😅#and i also didn't mean to write this much ldfkgjlkdfjs #harringrove #trans eddie munson #a raven's writing desk

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