#anyways it was fascinating reading a book by someone whose primary drives and lived experience

[cvsette]

finished reading "The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl". Fascinating book/collection of blog posts. Well and compellingly written. I felt like the author was holding me at arm's length emotionally and mentally but tbh I didn't want to be held any closer. thank you internet archive for the read

#The anecdote that stuck with me most was the part about her reading a novel #not expecting to really connect to it #but connecting with it deeply and crying at the end of it... #and then reading it over and over to remind herself that she did actually have emotions #oh god and the part where a guy said “i love you” to her on the 2ND DATE #AND THEY WERENT FRIENDS BEFORE OR ANYTHING... #so embarassing glad she didnt get more deeply involved w him #also “the Boy” gave me the creeeeeppssss #idk maybe its bc im a lesbian but my god #i just felt like the author lives with no fear at all #i almost wonder if shes a quote un quote sociopath #NOT because shes sex driven. fuck no #if she were a dude shed just be a playboy which is why i suspect shes friends with mostly men. sex is just not an emotionally intimate thin #for her. usually #but because she mentions herself lacking empathy for others at several points in the book #and is doing a phd in forensic psych (this is from wikipedia) which involves a lot of separating yourself from your studies #AND because she doesn't have much interest or emotional attachment in anyone's inner life but her own #which she is self aware about and which is FINE!! #anyways it was fascinating reading a book by someone whose primary drives and lived experience #are so incredibly different from my own #txt