#anyways fUCK i forgot how drowsy this medicine makes me lol

[ranger-kellyn]

idk if this'll make any sense bc i am incredibly tired but my goal for writing at this point is to write in such a way that my works are very...tactile, i suppose. to write in such a way that really puts you in the moment with the characters, as if you're right there with them, and that you really have a good sense of the world moving around/outside the character

#the unfortunate thing about that tho is it very well lends itself to being stupid wordy #and when ur already as wordy as i am lma o #trying really hard to strike that balance with the planetarium scene in this next chapter of second chances #its the moment this whole fic was even written FOR #i want to do it justice sO BAD #writing tag #anyways fUCK i forgot how drowsy this medicine makes me lol #like 30 minutes on the dot and then i'm practically useless lmao

[beliefisabeautifullarmour]

Sunday night - 07/01 - in my bed - 0034

I’ve been ill this weekend. Actually took Mc from work on Friday because I felt so horrible. Felt like I wanted to cough out blood. Felt like my body was about to break down. So I took my meds and stopped smoking. Funny as it turns out I actually stopped snoring?? According to my brother I did anyway.

Makes me wanna quit smoking Yknow. On Saturday I did, unfortunately, smoke. It was gene’s birthday. Met the gang gang for dinner at nhc fish head steamboat. It was good. But I couldn’t last the night because I felt soooo tired. The cough medicine made me extremely drowsy when I got home and I had like a fuck ton of dreams to go along with it. It was quite exciting tbh. Could possibly be the mixture of beer and cough medicine lmao. Anyway. I’ve requested to update my passport so I can get my very own APEC card hehehe.

Anyway new year resolutions haven’t been going well AT ALL. I really need to get on track man. Priorities. Hopefully I’ll have some sort of chat with gene tomorrow during lunch break lol. I really do need to lay down like some feasible goals and get on with it? Like bitch please. I really need to solo it up with my own life man. I’ve always been a solo kia. Please apply to own life thx?!?

So annoying how difficult it is to break out of this cycle when it feels like the world is against you. I guess that’s what makes or breaks ppl huh. Things at work have been getting better at least but I need to start some personal development shit man. Need to stop drinking all the goddamn time lol.

Look for a constructive habit. Like... idk. Day trading isn’t going very well. I mean I did try at work but like I can’t do it now my boss is around. Cfa / Caia could also work... I could ask Fred to study tgt I suppose. Ced is probably gonna be quite busy now adays too. So annoying man. Life isn’t suppose to be fun. My constant need for something to look forward to isn’t being fulfilled anymore. *dont think about the past don’t think about the past*

I need to find my new jam man. Maybe I should seriously consider cross fit or taking some spin class shit. It really kills a lot of birds with one stone. Lose weight. Meet new ppl. Something to look forward to. Thing is the timing is a real bitch and I have to bring stuff with me to work. I suppose if that’s the only thing stopping me then it’s a worthy price to pay...?

I need more flavour during the weekends too man. I can’t be staying at home - I suppose I could dude. I just need to accept that I’m a stay at home kinda guy and be content man. I’ll just go out at night since it makes me happy.

Just finished narcos : mexico and the latest episode of Vikings. DAYUMMMM SON. It’s good. Can’t wait for Brooklyn 99 to come out. Oh wait, it already is I think. Was suppose to remind Lynn belle too but I forgot lmaoooo. Just as well dude, can’t deal with crazy Jesus peeps man. I just simply can’t.

Tomorrow new week new day at work. Please please please let me find something to spice up my juices. I’m currently a non-horny and very bored middle aged male with extremely low expectations that are very hard to fill. Urgh. I doubt I can find anything in Sg that can entice me now. Peace guys... maybe I’ll reach out deep into my oldie song trove and procure something like ed sheeren or smth on my way to work tomorrow