#anyway. fucked up mental state rn idk why it was fine an hour ago kms

[widevibratobitch]

i need to dye my hair i need to cut my hair i need to bleach my eyebrows again i need to shave them off completely i need to DO something i need CHANGE or ill go insane

#sorry im panicking for no reason whatsoever and need to do THINGS to my mortal body but like. #something that will not cause any actual harm because we dont do that here sir na-ah not anymore #also swinging a bat at the part of my brain that keeps telling me i need to lose weight because i liked my face better X kg ago #and also i need to step on the scale and check how much i weigh now cause what if ive put on weight since spring (i most definitely did) #also my mom keeps nagging me about going to that super great endocrinologist again but last time i went i told him i had an ED and he went #'yes very sad. anyway' and weighed me and told me the number anyway. but hey! he also said #'i have fatter patients than you its ok dw your situation isnt that bad we can concentrate on losing that weight later' so its cool :)))))) #(its not. im never fucking going there again id rather rip my whole thyroid out of my throat with my bare hands) #also i really want that rhinoplasty but more than a failed surgery im afraid of betraying my ideals lol #its much easier to be anti make up or anti plastic surgery or preach about self love and acceptance when you're naturally pretty lol #anyway. fucked up mental state rn idk why it was fine an hour ago kms