#anyway sorry to be a downer it's just been a really rough time for everybody | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zackcollins · 3 years

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Good afternoon!!!

Well your predictions were correct because shit definitely hit the fan with trades so far. I can’t believe how badly I have hated every single trade this off-season (excluding those traded to the Kraken). Also, I really do wish I could be the Kool-Aid man rn in those commercials (references your reply from this morning 😂). All I want is to go to sleep and wake up when all this is over! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway, sorry to be a downer for a minute there. I am usually so positive but sheesh this trade season is tough, especially with this being my first time experiencing it. I hope your day gets better and that we make it through. Perhaps you’re right about maybe the weekend will be better. Sending you all the hugs, love, good vibes, and more forehead kisses bc why not? Take care of yourself today please! ❤️

—👑

Afternoon!

Not gonna lie to you, I've ignored my own advice and I've been glued to Tumblr pretty much all day to see who is going where. It's pretty bad when I can't even take my own advice when I know following these trades is gonna make me wanna jump through the wall like Kool-Aid man. Maybe we can do it together for maximum damage. Because like. I need a friend after some of the shit I've seen so far today. Also, mood. I'd just love to go to sleep and only wake up whenever all of this nonsense is over. I could most definitely use the sleep to begin with. So like. Might as well just get it now before the season actually starts and I slowly start losing my mind again.

You don't need to apologize. Not everyone is positive 100% of the time. Anyone that says they are is lying to you. Everyone has rough patches they go though whether they last five minutes or five years. Everybody is bound to feel at least a little sad once in a while. That's just how being a normal human works.

I hope your day gets better too! I tried to distract myself somewhat by changing my desktop theme. One of my friends said that she likes it, so that gave me a little bit of a confidence boost. Seeing her say that made me feel a little less stressed because it took my mind away from the craziness of the trades for a few minutes and helped me focus on something else. And thank you for the positive vibes, hugs, and forehead kisses! I'm sending them right back at you because it looks like you could use them just as much as me. Love you loads and take care of yourself too!

#this ask is from 👑 at tumblr productions and directed at robin #mutuals #the elusive mutual #thank you for this #not hockey #robin talks #ily crown #take care of yourself #drink some water #maybe eat a snack #go for a walk if you need fresh air #do whatever you need to to destress #<3

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k-renne · 6 years

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HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

A/N: Thanks for the lovely idea wing anon! this is just a modern!kylo holiday themed oneshot

Kylo watched as his warm breath turned white in the cold air, he just needed to step outside for a moment. While everyone enjoyed the holiday season he was stressing over his new position as a CEO. The year was coming to a close and with that came a whole slew of deadlines. After hours of meetings in overheated stuffy rooms he needed the cold air to refresh him.

Was this really what he wanted? Spending days cooped up inside his office, watching people look as small as ants from his office on the 51st floor. He didn’t think it would be like this when he became a CEO, he didn’t think it would be this lonely. He thought it was what he wanted, but he wasn’t so sure. He had power and all the wealth he could imagine, but it came at the cost of his relationships with friends and family, and the one woman that he’s grown to love over the years.

You were his best friend, emphasis on were. He didn’t think he could call you that anymore after months of little to no contact. You’d text him checking in, he’d see it but be so caught up in everything that he’d forget to apply. A few weeks later he’d give a lame reply like, “I’m fine.” But by that point the conversation opportunity would be lost, he knew he had hurt you.

He hated being distant from everyone, especially during the holiday season. He was reflecting on his past, from the time that he made you cry with his secret santa gift to the year where they almost burned down the kitchen trying to make christmas cookies. Cooking was not Kylo’s strong suit, he was happy that he could afford a personal chef. He got that from his mother.

Then there was the time that you invited him over for Christmas, because he just couldn’t go home that year. You did everything you could to make things better for him when he was going through a rough time, showed him kindness that he’d always treasure.

Though he didn’t feel good enough to call himself your best friend, you would always be his as well as the love of his life. The more he reflected, the more depressed he became. At this rate he’d probably never see you again, and he missed you so damn much. He had accepted long ago that he could never be more than a friend to you, but not even being your friend was a difficult pill to swallow.

Kylo closed his fists and rubbed his hands together, he forgot his gloves. It didn’t matter, he welcomed the distraction of the pain. Eventually, they’d go numb and that’s what he needed at this point.

“Have yourself a merry little christmas, let your heart be light,” A voice sung out softly, breaking Kylo from his spiral of negativity. He recognized that voice, but he continued walking, not really paying attention. Still, it was hard not to feel warmth in his heart from the slow melody. He stops for a moment, realizing he was somewhere familiar. It was the old cafe he used to hang out with his friends in college.

“Faithful friends who are near to us, gather near to us once more,” You continue singing, smiling as you see your old friend.

Those words cut deep, oh god did he miss you. He blamed the cold as his eyes began to water. “Hey Kylo! Long time no see,” Poe chimes in. Everyone was there, Poe, Phasma, Finn and Rey, all of his old friends.

Guilt plagued him, these were the people he had abandoned. He promised to stay in touch with but had failed, he should’ve never walked outside.

“We missed you!” Finn and Rey added.

“Yeah Mr. CEO, wow.” Phasma added.

“Care to share the wealth with the rest of us big guy?” Poe joked.

Kylo didn’t really get it, “I’m sorry,” was all he could manage.

“No don’t apologize! You’re doing great out there,” Poe lightly tapped his shoulder.

“We’re so proud of you,” Phasma praised as everyone nodded in agreement. Kylo sucked in a breath as he turned to you, still smiling at him warmly. His numb, frozen heart melted.

“I missed you too,” He looked directly at you when he said it, though referring to everyone.

“Merry Christmas Eve Kylo!” You all said to him. You knew Kylo was pretty awkward with surprise hugs, but you decided to hug him anyways. He looked like he really needed one. And to your surprise he hugged you back, burying his face in your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around you.

“Group hug!” Finn shouted. Everyone surrounded you and Kylo, it had to be 10º out but he felt so warm as his hands clutched onto your coat. He didn’t let go of you right away as everyone stood back, just taking the moment to savor your warmth for a little more. Finn and Rey gave each other a look as Poe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively to Phasma, there was something there between you two and they wanted to make it happen.

There was always something there, you two were always closer with each other than anyone else in the group. You had a deep understanding of one another, the kind that didn’t even require words sometimes. They knew the two of you would work well together, but neither of you had the guts to actually make a move. Maybe this called for a little bit of meddling. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Poe whispered to the gang.

“Yeah we gotta make it happen, I can’t take the tension between them anymore,” Phasma whispered.

When Kylo finally let you go, he frowned seeing the tears in your eyes. “Y/n?” He brushed away a tear with his hand.

“I really missed you Kylo,” You wiped your eyes, trying to keep yourself together. It had been so long, you didn’t know why it was like this. Out of everyone in the group you were the most hurt, how could you not be when you truly loved Kylo? Not to say that the rest of the gang didn’t love him, they did but not in the same way that you did.

Oh great, now he was crying. He hated seeing you so sad, especially when he knew it was his fault. He wanted to hug you again, but it wasn’t the right time.

“Come on you guys stop being such downers! It’s Christmas Eve, besides we’ve got gifts,” Poe interrupts.

“Oh right, Kylo we all wanted to give you something this year,” You gave a fake smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“You got me a gift? But I didn’t get you guys anything.”

“You didn’t have to, just seeing you is more than enough,” Poe smiled. Everyone agreed. You laced your hand with his as Poe brought out a gift from his coat pocket, Kylo looked down at you in surprise and you rested your head on his shoulder. He squeezed your hand back, tightening his grip. His heart was racing. Was this a sign? Maybe he hadn’t lost you.

“Here,” Phasma handed the gift to him.

“Come on open it,” Rey fidgeted.

“Alright,” Kylo chuckled. He tore open the wrapping paper, eyes widening when he saw what was inside. It was a beautiful ornament, a frame with a picture of you all together on graduation. He was smiling there, his arm around your shoulder. Then he remembered, he didn’t even have a tree this year. That made his smile falter, but he was careful not to show it too much. “Wow, thanks everybody.”

“Don’t thank us, it was Y/N’s idea in the first place,” Poe placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Poe!” You scold him.

“Oh right, I forgot you didn’t want to take credit.” Poe chuckled.

Kylo’s heart swelled with love for you, he didn’t deserve such kindness after everything he’s done. Yet he kept dreaming, of what it might be like to have a future with you. To wake up to your sweet face everyday, to have your love, to hold you and whisper soft words in your ear and to truly show you all of his appreciation from over the years. It was unachievable, but a man could dream.

“Say Kylo, we were just about to go to dinner, wanna come with us?” Phasma invited him.

Kylo looked at his watch, he really needed to get back to work. But it was Christmas Eve, why was he working like this? If he left now, it could be his last chance to see you again knowing how he’d just hole himself up for the rest of winter. “Sure, I’d love to. Just give me a second I have to make a quick call.” Kylo dialed his secretary’s number, “Denise, cancel all my plans for the evening something’s come up.”

“You’re coming with us?” You say excitedly.

“It looks like it,” Kylo smiled down at you. He was just so happy to be still holding your hand.

“You guys are so cute,” Finn said, but neither of you were paying attention as you both looked into each other’s eyes.

“What’s that?” Kylo asked.

“Nothing,” Finn covered.

“The gang’s reunited, just in time for Christmas,” Poe smiled.

Kylo brushed his thumb over your hand, looking warmly down at you. It was going to be a Merry Christmas indeed.

#kylo ren #modern!kylo #kylo ren x reader

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