#anyway YES this is about imogen but its also a good lens for Me Specifically to chew through the latter half of that encounter bc oh boy

[sparring-spirals]

The parallels, in Imogen, who had spent years, and years, and years, running from the storm. Felt that fear in every inch of her and had fled it, for years. The only directive she ever had when the sky turned red, her only defense. Run. And only recently, so recently, had she started to do something else, started to screw up that courage to walk into it, to face it head on, to do something, anything, other than run. Sitting after a nightmare in the darkness with Fearne and Orym and Laudna around her, promising they'll be there, promising they'll help, promising she isn't alone.

The parallels to this battle, to her, running, her being quickest and cleanest to exit, heart in her throat, hoping against all odds they can get out too-

She's running, of course she's running, she's hiding, she hasn't left, not yet, but she's running.

And Orym falls.

Orym falls, and Orym was the one to put a hand on her knee and tell her, intent, urgent, that she wasn't alone. Orym, sweet Orym, who trusts her, right? To do good, to stay good-

And she stops running, and she gets angry, and furious, she flies up, she plants herself as a distraction, as a prize, demands STOP.

She flies into the eye of the storm.

(The eye of a hurricane is the calmest part. The rest of the storm rages on).

Far below, Fearne falls. Fearne, sweet and fickle and a matched pair with Orym, Fearne who watches her with worry whenever she wakes up shaking, Fearne, who wrapped a bracelet around her wrist so Imogen would know when it was a nightmare, so she could look down and know she could just wake up and be surrounded by them again.

(Is the bracelet still there? Would Imogen even want to look?)

Pleading, now, desperate, angry, negotiating- what do you WANT? What do you want. Her friends, her friends, scattered far below and hurt and broken, scraping themselves together and trying so hard to haul themselves upright, trying to give each other those last little scraps of healing. Trying. Trying so hard, so far, far below.

"I want you to give in"

(It felt wonderful.) (Maybe I should just give in.)

She doesn't give in, she doesn't. She fights. She attacks. She tries to give herself up.

"Is she your favorite?"

"Ill go with you! I give in!"

She tries. She tries. She tries to give up. She tries to give in.

Laudna falls.

Imogen doesn't give in. The storm takes her.

The storm takes all of them, by the end.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c3e33 #imogen temult #bell's hells #character meta #okay folks im writing this between meetings so i cant put the essay in the tags here that i want to #but like: 1- im still figuring out how to process fearne and orym in a way that approaches the emotions of the deaths #while being aware a lot of details are still in flux and nothing is set #2- holy SHIT the way things lined up was awfuo but uh. uhhh. man. the thoroughlines. fearne and orym and laudna specifically #anyway YES this is about imogen but its also a good lens for Me Specifically to chew through the latter half of that encounter bc oh boy #okay time to go to another meeting #have fun folks!!!!! #my meta #imogen meta #narrative meta #ashton technically got out!!! fcg the healer on empty. chet trying so hard to draw fire. #theres SO much in that encounter