#anyway ENJOYYYY me and my girlfriend are gonna go out and have a date day :)

[fag4dykestobin]

yesterday, i wrote a little snippet of a steve coming out scene that had been living in my head for a bit, and i thought that that was it. and then i kept writing little snippets until this was nearly 3k words long <3 so. enjoy!!

-

Steve looks up at the popcorn ceiling, heart beating, beating, beating, nearly out of… his… chest. Steve doesn’t look at Robin, but… he… knows that Robin is looking at… her?

“Feel like we should be in the bathroom for this,” Steve croaks. Robin huffs out a laugh.

“We can move in there, if you want. My parent’s probably won’t need to use it, they’re in bed already.”

Steve shakes… her…? his. His(/her?) head. “No. I feel better in here.”

“Okay.” And then it’s quiet, between them, and it’s up to Steve to fill that silence. Awesome. Steve can do that. Well, Steve could do that, usually, but unfortunately there is something in Steve’s throat that is blocking everything and anything from coming out of it. Maybe Robin will just let him(/her?) sit here in silence forever, until they both fall asleep, and then when they wake up in the morning they can go along with their lives like there’s nothing building up in Steve’s soul, clawing and raging and desperate to come out.

Robin shifts, so that their feet, propped on the wall in front of them, are touching. It’s enough to get Steve going.

“You know when we were in the Russian base, and you said the thing about your life being one big error?”

Robin made a noise of affirmation.

“Were you talking about, like, being gay?”

Robin sits with the question for a few moments. “... Mostly,” is the answer she decides to go with. Steve waits for her to elaborate.

“I guess it was like, well. Some of it had to do with how we ended up in the Russian base, right? It didn’t feel real. Or like it was supposed to happen. But it also felt like just one more thing in my life that went wrong, and I kinda connect all the bad things that happen to me with me being a lesbian.” There’s a beat of silence. “Which I know isn’t really good. But I’ve been doing it for a while, so it’s hard to stop.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you feel like that? About being, um, half-gay?” The term they’ve landed on for Steve’s sexuality is kind of ridiculous, but neither of them could think of anything better for it. And it’s not like they really refer to it by name outside of hushed and rare conversations like this one. 

“I guess?” Steve thinks on it a little. “Not really. Not like you, at least. It’s, like…” Steve lets himself(/herself?) brush against the problem in his(/her?) brain. Think about it for more than a fleeting moment.

Terror envelopes him(/her?)(cut that shit out pick one and stick to it). Steve tries to think through it, but it’s kind of hard to breathe.

“It’s more about, um. I don’t know. I… It feels stupid.” It feels wrong. It feels criminal.

“I won’t think you’re stupid,” Robin says, so earnestly, like she believes it. Oh, that’s horrible to think about her. Steve screws his eyes shut. Steve screws her eyes shut.

Pick one. (pick he.) And stick to it.

“Sometimes I… mmm. Sometimes I… Robin, if you—” Steve cuts himself off. This feels evil, what he’s about to say. Maybe more evil than what he is. “If I what?” Robin sounds concerned. Like, worried concerned. It makes Steve want to stop everything and wrap her up in a big hug and never talk about this again. Besides, what was Steve even going to say? Robin, if you hate me after this… what? What does he want her to do? Robin, if you hate me after what I say, please don’t.

If Robin hated Steve for this, he might just die.

“Steve? Are you okay?” Robin takes her legs down from the wall and sits up, leans over Steve, trying to get a good look at his face. Steve covers his eyes with his hands.

“I don’t know. I don’t— eugh.” Steve gulps in a big breath, “Robin, if you— hate me, um—”

“No! No no no no no! No! Steve, look at me! Right now!” Steve wants to, but that might make him actually cry. Steve digs her palms into her eyes. No. His palms, his eyes.

God.

“Steve, Evie, please. Please.” The nickname makes Steve’s eyes water. He swipes at them to make them go away, but they keep flowing. Okay, this is going a bit disastrously. The most important thing to do right now is keep his eyes closed and not look at Robin, or else he might shatter into a million little pieces.

“No, I— let me just— I don’t want you to—”

“I won’t hate you, ever. For anything. Are you okay?” Robin sounds miserably anxious. You can’t promise that, Steve wants to bite out. He swallows it. Steve has to trust Robin, because if she can’t, maybe she truly isn’t meant to be like this. Maybe Robin won’t hate him, maybe Robin will help him fix it.

“Sometimes I think about being a girl.”

The words sit heavy between them. Steve kind of wants to throw up about it.

“... Okay.” Robin says. She sounds a little breathless. Steve tries to imagine the look on her face, but can’t imagine it through the fuzz of terror. And like hell will he open his eyes.

“... Okay?” Steve croaks, after Robin fails to elaborate.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She still has that breathless note in her voice, but it’s more like an aftermath-of-anxiety breathlessness than still-actively-anxious breathlessness.

Steve worries that he’s(.../she’s?) downplayed the problem here. Steve swallows, mouth dry, throat dry.

“No, I, I don’t just think about it, I like thinking about it. I like it when, um, the kids make fun of me by calling me, a, a mom, and I like when you or Max or El paints my nails, and I, I think about stealing your clothes sometimes and it makes me want to kill myself but I can’t, I can’t stop, I…” Steve is now hyperventilating. 

Robin tackles Steve, and Steve’s horrible, traitorous mind wonders if she’ll wrap her hands around his(/her?) throat and kill her(/him?) rather than let him(her?) leave this room.

Steve opens her(/his?) mouth to, who knows, tell her that it’s okay? That he(/she?) understands? That she(/he?) loves her? But nothing comes out, and after a second, Steve realizes that it’s a hug. Obviously. And then Steve starts sobbing.

It takes a few minutes for Steve to stop losing… his? her? God, the thought of either makes Steve want to puke. It takes a few minutes for Steve to stop losing Steve’s mind. And Robin strokes Steve’s hair the whole time, and holds Steve the whole time, and whispers that it’s okay and that she loves Steve, the whole time. It kind of prolongs the sobbing, in a way, because Steve just can’t believe it. But Steve does eventually calm down.

“Steve,” Robin whispers.

Steve sniffles and swallows thickly. “Yeah?”

“It’s fine. You’re fine.”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Well,” says Robin, and then she pauses, like she’s thinking. Steve lets her. There’s a headache brewing in Steve’s temple, and the silence is nice, in a way.

“Well,” Robin starts up again. “I don’t think you’re weird, or messed up, and I definitely don’t hate you. We’ve seen bad things and bad people. And you’re not bad.”

“Well, I… if I’m not bad, or weird, for this, I don’t know what I am.” Steve can hardly believe how well Robin is taking this. It really shouldn’t surprise Steve at all, because Robin is so, so good, but this is something that Steve hates, and they’re usually a united front on that, when it really matters.

So… maybe Robin is right.

Robin climbs off of Steve, lays down next to Steve again. But instead of propping her legs up on the wall, like Steve for some goddamn reason is still doing, she curls next to Steve, facing Steve. Looking at Steve. Still holding Steve’s hands.

“We’ll figure it out.” She squeezes. Steve squeezes right back, and keeps the grip tight.

“Okay.”

They sit in silence, and Steve just… breathes. Tries to will the headache away; not happening, ugh. Drops the legs from the wall. Steve plays with Robin’s fingers, not even trying to process what had happened yet. That can wait til later.

After a few minutes, Robin speaks up again. “Are you okay with questions? If not, that’s fine.” And Steve knows she means it. She will totally drop it for the night and let them settle down and watch a movie or three. But Steve doesn’t really want that right now. Steve wants to stay in this space where, at least for now, what Steve is feeling is fine, and alright. Steve’s never had that before, for this.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “They’re okay.” Maybe they can do the figuring out thing right now. Maybe all of Steve’s problems will be solved tonight. Wouldn’t that be a relief? Robin pulls her hands away, and Steve hears the rasping of her shirt material being rubbed together between her fingers.

“So… do you want to be a girl?” The question doesn’t sound harsh leaving Robin’s mouth, but the words are heavy. It makes alarm bells ring in Steve’s head, forbidden question! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Years of routine repression make it hard for Steve to even consider the question, but Steve tries. Slowly and agonizingly, Steve thinks about it. It genuinely takes a few minutes, but Robin can clearly sense that Steve is thinking about it, so she doesn’t interrupt. Steve loves her so much.

“Kinda,” Steve whispers. “It’s… I don’t know. Really. It’s stupid.”

“Nuh-uh. No stupid stuff right now. Just say how you feel.”

“I kinda wanna be half-girl. Like how I’m half-gay.” It feels stupid. It feels evil. It feels way too indulgent. Even in a perfect world, it’s one or the other. Steve can’t, like, hog them both. They cancel each other out. Right?

“Uh-huh?” Robin is prompting Steve to go on. Oh God.

“Um. Like. I still… like the guy parts of me, you know? I still like being a guy.” That feels really important to emphasize. Steve feels kind of insane, talking like this, actually getting Steve’s thoughts out into the real world. But Robin is still listening, no judgment. It kind of makes Steve want to cry again, but that would make the headache worse so, no thanks. “But I… I like the girl parts, too. I like when you call me Evie, but I don’t want you to stop calling me Steve.”

Steve can feel Robin shift, like she’s nodding. “Okay,” she says again.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. You can… you can be a half-girl, half-guy.” And it sounds simple and a little obscene, when she says it. Maybe not obscene. Maybe more like tantalizing.

“I don’t know,” Steve whispers. “Is that, like… allowed?”

Steve finally turns to look at Robin. Her eyes are big and full of thought. It feels stupid, thinking like that, but there’s nothing else to describe it. Steve can see the thoughts dancing around in her pupils and irises and whatever else is in an eye. It’s so beautiful. Steve loves her so much.

“... I think that you can do whatever you want,” Robin whispers back. “And be whatever you want.”

Steve’s face crumples, just a little bit. Not enough that it means tears, but enough to bring the idea to mind. Steve pinches Steve’s nose. “It can’t be that simple, though.”

Robin tilts her head in a way that can only be described as birdlike. She hates when people compare her to birds, just because of her name, but it fits right now, in the secrecy of Steve’s brain. She looks serious and intent. “Why not?”

“Nobody has ever done this before. I think.”

“Nobody that we know of. We live in Hawkins, Steve, we know like, 500 people. There are probably people in New York, or Chicago, or whatever, that feel exactly like you.”

Steve can’t reconcile with that. It feels so lonely, being like this. It feels inherently lonely.

“And even if you are the only one in the world that feels like this… Well, that’s fine! You can be whoever you want! Especially around me.” Robin grabs Steve’s hands in her own. Her hands are always so cold. Steve loves to hold them and feel them warm up bit by bit. It’s grounding, especially right now.

“I don’t want you to hide yourself. Not from me. I hid for so long, around everyone else, and it was killing me.” Robin’s eyes bore into Steve’s. “And I didn’t know it was killing me, but looking back, it’s like, wow, I was going to die.” Her voice cracks, just a little bit, and Steve makes an involuntary noise. Holds her hands just a little tighter. The warmth is already equalizing between them. “And, I don’t know. I don’t want you to get there. Or, if… you’re there already, I don’t want you getting any further.”

Sometimes it astounds Steve, just how much Robin gets things. This isn’t one of those times, though. It feels deeply right, and deeply sad.

“Alright,” Steve says.

“You won’t hide this from me? After this?”

A shake of the head. “No.” And it sounds so easy, promising this. Maybe it can be easy. Steve hopes it will be easy.

“I love you,” Robin says, and she pulls Steve into a hug. Steve melts into it. Robin gives very bony and kinda twitchy hugs, minute movements every few seconds, and Steve loves them. Robin, a while ago, maybe a couple months after Starcourt, had expressed anxiety about her hugs being ‘godawful uncomfortable,’ her words, but Steve had denied that fiercely. Her hugs were God’s gift to mankind, and if everyone else hated it, fine. More for Steve.

“I love you too,” Steve says into her chest.

They lapse into silence again. Steve thinks about asking for some water, but that would mean one or both of them leaving this room, and all possible configurations seem worse than the lack of water, right now. Steve presses closer into Robin.

“Another question.”

“Yeah?”

“So, you like Steve and Evie, and you’re a girl and a guy. Do you like he and she?”

There’s the dreaded question. Steve can’t hold back a groan. “I don’t know,” Steve says into her chest. “I’ve kinda, thought about it a bit, but… both of them feel weird, by themselves. I guess I like both, but only when they’re next to each other. I can’t really decide on one.”

Robin hums in consideration. “I mean, we’re making all this up as we go. If they don’t feel right by themselves, then why do they have to be by themselves?”

Steve thinks about it. “It feels like they’re supposed to cancel each other out,” Steve says, voicing a thought from earlier.

“They clearly don’t, at least in your case.” Robin presses her cheek to the top of Steve’s head, flattening the hair there. “Don’t think about how things should be. Think about what you want.”

What Steve wants. Okay.

He thinks about he. She thinks about she. And how, apart, they really only feel like half of himself, but together, they feel like they tell the whole story and show the whole picture.

Steve can’t help but think about those optical illusions Dustin had shown her a while back. The one with the two faces. If you concentrated, you see whichever one you wanted at will. And they seemed so opposed, yet so intertwined, and you couldn’t have one face without the other. Maybe he’s an optical illusion. It’s better than being evil.

“Okay. Yeah. Both are good.” Steve can feel Robin smile into her hair.

“Do you want me to use them both?”

Steve feels a flash of panic. “Um— augh. Not… not around other people, um, but—”

Robin squeezes him closer. “Oh, God, obviously!” she says, and Steve is so grateful that they’re on the same page, like, 90% of the time, and that this falls into that 90%. “I can sneak them into conversations between us. Pronouns don’t really pop up in conversations between two people, but maybe if we got a cat or a goldfish or a turtle I could talk to it about you in front of you. Or is that weird? Hm. It might be weird.”

Steve can’t help the smile dawning on her face. Maybe everything will be okay. “It’s kinda weird. But we should do it anyway.”

Robin laughs, and Steve still has his face buried in her chest, so he can feel it. “Yeah,” she says fondly. “I guess that hasn’t stopped us before.”

#steve harrington #robin buckley #stobin #trans steve harrington #genderqueer steve harrington #bigender steve harrington #stranger things #little by little. everyone will believe in my vision of bigender steve #and okay this wasn't really 'edited' or whatever the kids are saying these days but thats fine i'm still proud of this :) #i just love them so much <3 steve and robin figuring things out... #do not know how to write them without having a sappy ending its kinda just inherent in the stobin of it all #anyway ENJOYYYY me and my girlfriend are gonna go out and have a date day :) #quincy.txt #my fics

[gamergirl929]

You Never Lost Me (Emily Sonnett x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Can you do a sonnett imagine where she is the love of the readers life and they are dating but sonnett isnt as in love as the reader and they break up because the reader doesnt want to hold her back but then sonnett realizes what shes missing

This is a pretty long one folks, but pleaseeee enjoyyyy! 

"I mean, we’re seeing where it’s going.”  

The words sent a spear through your heart, the thing that skipped a beat when you saw her hazel orbs had been torn in two by the very owner of those hazel orbs.   

It was after that day that you started to realize maybe Emily wasn’t as in love with you as you were in love with her.  

It became PAINFULLY aware when the two of you had made plans to go out to dinner and Emily had flaked, deciding to go out on the town with your teammates instead of spending time with you, something that tore your heart into absolute shreds.  

And when she posted photos on her Instagram of her and the teammates out, all smiling happily you didn’t think your heart could take much more.  

“Whoa, where are you going?” Christen asks as you slip from your hotel room, your head down.  

“Out.”  

Christen’s brows furrowed as she watched you go, Tobin making her way towards her.  

“What’s going on?”  

Christen shakes her head.  

“I don’t know.”  

                                                             ***

Later that night they find you at the hotel bar, passed out on its surface, a number of shot glasses gathered around you.  

Tobin carries you upstairs, shaking her head.  

“Where the hell is Em?”  

Christen frowns.  

“Out with the others...”  

Tobin sighs.  

“She can stay with us tonight then...”  

                                                             ***

Emily hadn’t even realized you were gone, not even taking the time to send a text to you, to try to find out where you were.  

“Did you even care that I was gone?” You asked, tears in your eyes and Emily sighs.  

“I just forgot to text you, that’s all.”  

The blonde had left after that, leaving you alone in your hotel room, throwing an “I’m heading to the mall with Linds and the others” over her shoulder before the door clicks shut.  

Your head hangs in sadness, tears slipping down your cheeks. 

                                                             ***

“Wait, where’s Y/N?” Mallory asks, confused and Emily shrugs.  

“She’s at the hotel.”  

Lindsey’s eyes narrow, her blue orbs darting from Mallory, to Rose, and to Sam, the three looking as equally confused as her.  

“Em...” Mallory swallows hard, the blonde stopping in her tracks.  

“Yeah?”  

“You do realize Y/N is your GIRLFRIEND, right?” Lindsey asks, and Emily shrugs.  

“I mean... I-I know.”  

Rose shakes her head,

“You’re not acting like it.”  

Emily scoffs.  

“I mean of course, I like her.”  

Sam’s eyes widen.  

“Like?” She asks, Emily’s eyes widening as she stares at the sidewalk.  

“Shouldn’t it be love?” Mallory asks, the corner of Emily’s mouth drooping down. 

“It should be... I mean it is for Y/N...” Emily mumbles, Mallory, Rose, Sam and Lindsey looking at her in shock.  

“It’s not for you?” Rose asks, a simple shake of Emily’s head making them all frown.

“Maybe you should tell Y/N...” Lindsey places a hand on Emily’s shoulder, the blonde shaking her head.  

“I don’t want to hurt her, I like her...” She frowns, Lindsey shakes her head again. 

“You’re actively hurting her, by stringing her along Em.”  

Emily sighs, head hung in shame.  

“You’re right...”  

Emily leans against a nearby wall with a frown.  

“She loves me so much and I want to love her just as much but...”  

“But you can’t?” Mallory asks, earning a simple head shake.

“I want to... I care about her we’re just, not on the same level...”  

Lindsey cups her cheeks, holding her face so she can look into her hazel orbs.  

“You need to tell Y/N that, before it’s too late, before you break her heart even more.”

Emily nods.  

“I will.”  

                                                             ***

The second Emily steps into your joined hotel room, she realizes it’s devoid of any and all of your belongings.  

“Wh-What?” She stammers when she sees you holding your suitcase, your eyes bloodshot from not only lack of sleep, but from the many tears you shed that day, pouring your heart out to Tobin and Christen, the two veterans listening intently as you spilled your guts out.  

“What are you doing?” Emily asks, a lump forming in her throat at the sight of your sad Y/E/C eyes.  

“I’m going to stay with Tobin and Christen...” You sniffle, shuffling from foot to foot, your eyes on the carpet beneath your feet.  

“But why?” Emily asks, taking a step towards you, her hands trembling when you take a step back.  

“You don’t feel the same way for me as I do for you...” You mumble, tears slipping down your cheeks. “I can’t put my all into something and only get back half... Well, not even half.” You shake your head, tear filled hazel orbs locking with your Y/E/C ones. 

“Y/N, listen...”  

You shake your head.  

“I’ve been listening to you, listening to you telling reporters you were, ‘just seeing where this went.’” You motion between the two of you.

“Ple-

“Listening to you tell me we’d go to dinner, and then going out with the others instead...”  

Emily’s bottom lip trembles, replaying each and every scenario in her head, imagining how you must felt every time you watched her walk away from you.  

“Just tell me...” You take a deep breath, a pit forming in your stomach.  

“Do you love me...?” You ask, tears streaming down your cheeks as your eyes dart around Emily’s red face, tears sliding down her cheeks.  

Emily’s mouth opens and closes a few times before her head hangs, the woman shaking her head.  

You nod, making your way towards the door.  

“That’s all I needed to know.”  

The door slams shut behind you and Emily shakes her head, slowly walking over to sit down on the end of the bed, burying her face in her hands.  

Emily knew she had to let you go, she knew, but that didn’t make her feel any better, the heartbroken look in your eyes tearing her heart in two.  

In all honesty, she felt as if she deserved it, knowing that she must’ve tore your heart into shreds every time she walked away. 

Every time she told reporters the two of you were simply seeing where it was going 

She had to let you go. 

You deserved to find someone who would reciprocate those feelings, and that wasn’t Emily. 

                                                             ***

Tobin and Christen welcomed you with open arms, the women holding you as you sobbed into their chests, each and every night, lulled to sleep by their kind words and gentle ministrations, the two doing their best to keep you away from alcohol which had become your best friend after the break up.  

The two had been your saving grace when the season had ended, the two offering you a place to stay with them, considering Emily had to move to Florida anyway.  

You didn’t see her the day she left, you didn’t want to, knowing that if you did, you’d turn back to the bottle again something Christen and Tobin were keeping you FAR away from.  

Hiking and meditating with Christen became a must, one of your favorite past times along with painting with Tobin, something you found you were really good at.  

Soon, Emily Sonnett was the furthest thing from your mind, still, she wormed her way in, pictures of her face on Instagram making your heart crack all over again. 

But each and every time Tobin and Christen were there to pick up the pieces.  

Each and every time, they made you whole again.  

                                                             ***

In Florida, Emily couldn’t say the same thing.  

The woman’s new found home wasn’t exactly homey, Alex, and Krashlyn had of course been welcoming, but still, something was missing.  

The blonde thought MAYBE that something was a love life, but each and every date she found her tolerance for each and every man and woman dwindling.  

Each and every date Emily couldn’t help but say to herself; well if it was Y/N, she would’ve gone out of her way to make me laugh, or if it was Y/N, she would’ve pulled the chair out for me and held the door open for me, or at least offered to pay for dinner.  

Soon dates were utterly intolerable and Emily couldn’t bear to go on another.  

The blonde couldn’t stop her thoughts from drifting to you, wanting to know how you were doing, what you were doing, even surfing Instagram in search of posts you’ve made.  

Alex, Ashlyn and Ali couldn’t pull her out of her funk, the three Orlando Pride players deciding to call in reinforcements in the form of Lindsey Horan and Kelley O’Hara.  

“Alright, where is she?”  

Emily’s ears perk up at the sound of a familiar voice, the woman briefly hoping, foolishly, that you would be with her, but of course, there was no way that was in the realm of possibility.  

The blonde couldn’t help but jump to her feet when not only the usual Orlando Pride players made their way inside, but Lindsey and Kelley as well.  

One look at the group and her bottom lip started to tremble, the woman throwing herself into Kelley and Lindsey’s embrace.  

“I miss her. I miss her so much.” She sobs, Lindsey and Kelley’s hold on her tightening.  

“It’s gonna be okay.”  

“Maybe you should give her a call?” Kelley asks, and Emily shakes her head.  

“She won’t talk to me...” She swallows hard and Lindsey hums.  

“She and Christen are on a hike today, maybe Tobin will?”  

Emily shrugs.  

“Maybe.”  

                                                             ***

“Hey.” Tobin answers the FaceTime call, even through the tiny screen noticing the bags under Emily’s eyes.  

“H-How are you doing?” She asks, and Tobin smiles.  

“Pretty good, I never knew I could enjoy art so much...” She grins and Emily smiles softly, a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes.  

“How’s Christen...?” She asks and Tobin hums, taking a swig of something Emily can’t see.  

“Chris is great, she’s out with Y/N right now, we just got the rest of her stuff in her studio down the hall, she’s really happy to have her own place, but you know Chris and I liked to have her close so we can make sure she doesn’t start drinking again.” Tobin shrugs, Emily’s eyes widening.  

“What do you mean drinking?”  

Tobin’s eyes widen, as she glances away.  

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything.” Tobin winces. “Look, I can’t tell you, that’s Y/N’s business, but she’s better now, Chris and I have been helping her through it.”  

Emily nods, swiping at something on her face, something Tobin can’t see is a tear.

“Can you just... Keep an eye on her for me? Please?” She asks and Tobin nods. 

“Of course.”  

                                                             ***

It’s weeks later when Emily sees your face, though not in the way she wants to see you, it’s through her phone’s screen.  

“What does this one mean?” Tobin asks, the woman throwing an arm around your shoulder, the two of you staring at the painting hanging on the wall in front of you.  

Emily watches as you study the painting, the woman smiling at the thoughtful look on your face.  

“Forgiveness.” You state simply, Emily’s eyes widening, hazel orbs filling with tears.  

“Moving on.” You nod, turning to Tobin in the video, the woman ruffling your hair before she throws her arms around you, Christen joining in on the hug before the video ends.  

Emily is in literal tears.  

She knew what moving on went.  

You’d moved on from her.  

And that was her own fault.  

                                                             ***

Emily woke with a groan, an annoying knocking at her apartment door making her snarl.  

The glare she sends the apartment manager is deadly the woman clearing her throat when she realizes who it is. 

“Rough night?” He asks and she nods.

“Rough week.”  

“Package was too big for your box.�� He holds the large box up and Emily’s brows furrow.  

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting it.” She shrugs and the man nods.  

“It’s alright.”

Emily doesn’t even realize the man’s gone, her eyes zeroed in on the package’s sender.  

“Y/N...” She whispers, kicking the apartment door shut behind her, and sprinting to the table, tearing the box open as she goes.  

Emily’s eyes widen the second she sees the box’s contents, her hands trembling as she holds the painting she’d seen days ago.  

“What does this one mean?”  

“Forgiveness. Moving on.”  

Tears stream down Emily’s cheeks as she stares at the painting, her hands shaking as she holds the canvas, staring at what looks like a bright landscape, the sun rising over a darkened meadow.  

“Moving on...” She whispers, fingers running across the painting, imagining you taking your time, panting it with her in mind.  

It’s then she sees the envelope out of the corner of her eye, sitting neatly in the bottom of the box. She takes it in her hand, smiling when she realizes you didn’t lick the envelope shut, the woman grinning when she sees what you’d written on the underside of the envelope’s flap.  

I didn’t shut the envelope; I know how much you hate tearing envelopes open :P

Emily shakes her head, tears slipping down her cheek as she opens the letter.  

                                                             ***

You stretch, staring down at the busy city below a cup of something Christen had INSISTED on you drinking, something that rejuvenated you AND in Christen words...  

Gave you nutrients that you were lacking in your diet.

Tobin, of course, had been quick to agree.  

A sudden crack of thunder makes you jump, and seconds later it’s as if a bucket of water is dumped on Portland, a bucket that is never ending.  

You stand there, watching the rain fall, hoping it’ll taper off soon.  

“Looks like we aren’t hiking today...” You mumble under your breath, a knock on your apartment door sounding the second after the words leave your mouth.  

You sigh, making your way towards the door, tugging in open.  

“Yeah, I know hiking is-

You stop mid-sentence, your eyes widening when you see that it’s not Christen standing behind the door, but Emily Sonnett.  

Your mouth opens and closes a few times, your eyes darting around her face, purple bags prominent beneath her eyes, the woman soaked from head to toe.  

One look into your Y/E/C orbs and Emily bursts into tears, the woman throwing her arms around you, your arms slipping around hers.  

Emily buries her nose in your neck, her hold on you tightening.

“I missed you so much…” She whispers and you sigh, letting the words you’d been holding back since you last parted spill out.

“I missed you too.”

                                                             ***

“You forgive me...?” Emily whispers as you hand her a mug of cocoa, something Christen didn’t know you had, but if it was up to you, she wouldn’t ever find out.  

You take a seat on the opposite couch, taking a deep breath, your eyes locking with Emily tired hazel orbs.  

You nod.  

“Look... I can’t fault you for...” You stiffen, your eyes fluttering shut as you steel your nerves. 

“For not loving me like I loved you back then... You can’t make someone love you.” You shrug, missing the way Emily’s hazel orbs fill with tears. 

The blonde takes a deep breath before moving to her feet, your eyes wide as you watch her take a seat beside you.  

“I miss you Y/N... As... As my best friend.” Emily glances away, her heart aching in her chest as the words leave her mouth.  

You smile softly, eyeing Emily’s profile, the woman fidgeting nervously.  

“I want that back Y/N...” She turns towards you with tears in her eyes, tears that are reflected in your own.  

You nod.  

“I do too.”  

A sudden knock sounds on your apartment door and you stand.  

“Probably Christen telling me that our hike is cancelled.” You smirk, shaking your head, Emily’s hazel orbs on your back as you head towards the door.  

The blonde smiles softly, her fingers drumming on the mug in her hands.  

She was ready to see what being back in your life entailed for the two of you.  

                                                             ***

It’s shocking how easily you and Emily fell back into place, like two puzzle pieces slotting back together.  

Emily had even been staying with you for a while, the two of you catching up with each and every aspect of one another’s life.  

Except, there was one topic the two of you had noticeably avoided.  

And that was the topic of relationships.  

“So uhhh...” Emily clears her throat and your brows knit in confusion.  

“Hmmm?”  

“Have anyone special in your life?” Emily mumbles and you chuckle, shaking your head.  

“Honestly, no, I’ve been too busy with Chris and Tobin, I haven’t really had time to get out there.” You shrug.  

“What about you?” You ask as you sip another drink Christen had, YET AGAIN, insisted you’d drink.  

Emily scoffs.  

“All the dates I went on were literally, so painful I mean nothing like-

Emily stops mid-sentence, her eyes wide.  

“Nothing like, a real date should be.” She rushes out, cheeks flushed and you hum.  

“Just didn’t click?” You ask, sipping your drink, your brows furrowing when something, you don’t know what, slips down your throat, your face scrunching up.  

Emily grins, the beaming smile making her hazel orbs shine, her heart skipping a beat in her chest.  

“Yeah, we just didn’t click.”  

                                                             ***

The two of you were inseparable, Emily taking part in the things you’d been doing with Christen, the defender QUICKLY realizing that meditating wasn’t her thing. When it came to doing things with Tobin, IE, painting, she preferred to just watch you and Tobin work, the blonde grinning at the look of pure concentration on your face.  

“They could stand there for hours.” Christen flops down beside Emily on the couch, the two watching you and Tobin with a smile.  

“I wouldn’t have the patience for it.” Emily shrugs, sipping her mug of coffee.  

“Yeah, I mean you nearly die when we go hiking.” You smirk, Tobin letting out a lengthy snort.  

Emily spits and sputters, rolling her eyes.  

“I do not.”  

“You nearly fell down the cliff we were on.”  

Emily’s eyes narrow.

“I slipped! Sue me!”  

Emily’s eyes widen when you walk over, literally slapping a bit of white paint on her face with a toothy grin.  

“You did not just do that...” She wipes the paint off her face with her palm, staring at you with wide eyes.  

Within a millisecond Emily is on you, the white paint you’d put on her face, now on YOUR face.  

Tobin and Christen flop down on the couch, watching as the two of you have a proverbial, ‘paint war’ though you’re sure to keep the floors clean.  

It’s when paint splatters on your painting that you both freeze, Tobin and Christen’s eyes wide as you turn to your painting.  

“Y/N...” Emily starts, brows knitted in confusion when you grin.  

“THAT’S IT.”  

Emily’s eyes widen when you give her cheek a kiss and slide up to the wall, Tobin leaping over the coffee table to stand beside you.  

Hazel orbs widen as they watch you work, a smile stretching across their owner's face as she watches you lips split into a massive grin.  

Emily’s eyes widen when she feels the flapping of butterfly wings in her stomach, her face paling.  

“Uh-oh.”  

                                                             ***

Emily had tried to deny what she’d begun to feel for you, but she couldn’t when the butterflies which had lay dormant in the pit of her stomach began flapping their wings at the mere sight of you.  

“What’s eating you?”  

Emily jumps at the sound of Lindsey’s voice, she, Emily, you, Tobin and Christen deciding it was perfect weather to take a hike to a nearby cliff that overlooked a body of water.  

“N-Nothing.”  

Tobin lets out a scoff from where she’s walking ahead of the two of them, the brunette glancing over her shoulder.  

“Sonn, that was the least convincing thing I’ve EVER heard...”  

Emily blows a raspberry at her, grumbling.  

“Shouldn’t you be with Christen?”  

Tobin turns around with a pout, best puppy dog eyes on display.  

“She and Y/N left me...”

Emily pouts.  

“It’s okay Toby, you can join us.”  

Before she can join the two though, they hear a shout.  

“Tobin where are you!?”  

Tobin sends them a grin, shrugging before she races off, following Christen’s voice.

“COMING!”  

                                                             ***

Eventually they reach the top of the cliffs, the two blondes panting heavily, you, Christen and Tobin eyeing them with massive grins.  

“How are your cheeks not even red?” Emily asks, her cheeks blood red as she pants.  

You hand her your cold thermos of water, the woman eagerly, and greedily swallowing a few mouthfuls before she hands it back, at least tries to before Lindsey’s bottom lip juts out.  

“Take it.” You nod to the thermos, Lindsey grinning as she downs the rest of the thermos’s contents.  

You make your way to the edge of the cliff, taking in the beautiful landscape before you, the water shimmering beneath the suns glow.  

Soon, Emily joins you standing at your side as the two of you looking over the horizon, unaware that your three teammates are smiling, their eyes on your back as Lindsey takes a stealthy photo of the two of you.  

Tobin’s eyes widen when she sees the two of you turn towards one another, smiling softly at each other, smiling at one another in a way she hadn’t seen before.  

She, Christen and Lindsey all share a glance, the three coming to the realization of what the look in not only Emily’s eyes, but your eyes must mean.  

                                                             ***

You kick your feet up, yawning as you throw back whatever it was Christen had handed you, letting out a lengthy sigh.  

“Good?” She asks and you nod, humming.  

“Good.”  

“Do you just drink whatever she hands you?” Emily asks as she sips her juice and you shrug.  

“I trust her.”  

Emily leans towards you, your brows furrowed as she sniffs your cup, her face scrunching up, nose crinkled.  

“It reeks...” She mumbles, a pillow appearing from out of nowhere and smacking her in the face.  

“It’s healthy.” Christen chastises as she falls onto the other couch, beside Tobin. 

“Be careful, she’ll have you drinking it too.” Tobin shrugs and Emily grimaces.  

Lindsey flops down on the other side of the couch beside you.  

“What? Her drinks are good, and they give me so much energy.” She shrugs, Emily gasping.

“She’s gotten you too...” She whispers, moving towards the door, her eyes wide and you snort.  

“If you leave now, you’ll miss dinner.” You shrug, the defender humming before she moves to sit back down beside you.  

“You have my attention.”  

                                                             ***

Dinner meant you, Tobin, Christen, Lindsey and Emily going into a nice restaurant, which meant, not dressing like a bunch of sewer rats.  

Emily hums, peeking over your shoulder, her stomach rumbling.

“Please tell me you still eat like a bear.” She whispers, glaring at Christen. “Or has she been starving you?” She whispers and you snort.  

“She doesn't know I have a stash of Oreos at home.” You whisper behind your menu and Emily grins.  

“Now THAT’S what I’m talking about.”  

The waitress gives you all a kind smile, taking your dinner and drink orders before she leaves the table.  

Emily turns to you, a brow arched.  

“Again, color me surprised.” Emily hums and your brows furrow.  

“Hmm?”  

“You didn’t get any alcohol.”  

Your eyes widen, as do Tobin’s and Christen’s, the two knowing full well why you hadn’t ordered a glass of your usual jack and coke.  

You clear your throat, sipping your water.  

“Just wasn’t feeling it today.” You shrug, Emily hums, her hazel orbs narrowed.  

“Ye-Yeah, sure.”  

You take a swig of your water, taking a deep breath.  

You knew you’d have to tell her the truth, to tell her what happened after the two of you had parted. You jump at the feel of Emily’s arm slipping around your middle.  

Hazel orbs lock with Y/E/C orbs and Emily smiles.  

“Whatever it is, I’m here for you.” She grins, a grin that makes your heart skip a beat in your chest, the butterflies in your stomach flapping their wings.  

“Thanks, Em, I appreciate it.”  

                                                             ***

The second you return to your studio apartment you kick the door shut behind you, turning on your heels to find Emily standing behind you a worried frown on her face.  

“Before I tell you, I want you to promise me that you won’t blame yourself...” You mumble, Emily’s hazel orbs widening.  

“Wha-

“Promise me Em.” You whisper, the blonde blinking rapidly before she nods.  

“I-I promise.”  

You take a deep breath, pulling her towards your balcony, the two of you leaning on the rail, overlooking the city.  

You’re unable to look at Emily as you begin to speak.  

“After we broke up, I uhhh, I wasn’t doing well...” You mumble, glancing down at your shuffling feet.  

Emily can feel a lump growing in the back of her throat as she watches you fidget.  

You inhale sharply when she scoots closer, her hand resting on top of yours that’s resting on the balcony’s railing.  

“Tell me Y/N, I want to know.” She whispers and you nod, swallowing hard.  

You take a deep breath, your eyes fluttering shut.  

“I started drinking... Even before the season ended...”  

Emily’s eyes slam shut, images of you staggering on field, Tobin and Christen at your side to steady you standing out prominent in her mind.  

“Chris and Tobe were there for me the entire time, I was spiraling...” You stare at your feet, unable to look at the woman who still has a hold of your hand.  

“When we came back to Portland I... As you know I went to live with them...” You turn towards Emily, eyes glassy with tears.  

“That’s why I didn’t see you when I left... I didn’t want to relapse, I’m sor-

Emily shakes her head, cupping your cheeks, ridding them of tears you hadn’t realized had started to fall.  

“Don’t be sorry.” She shakes her head, gently caressing your cheek. “Please.”  

You sigh, leaning into her touch.  

“Okay...”  

Emily’s hands slip from your cheeks, the woman scooting closer until her head meets your shoulder, you lean over, your head resting on hers.  

“Tobin and Christen kept me in line, it wasn’t always easy, but when I started spending more time with them, hiking, painting, I felt more like myself, soon alcohol was the last thing on my mind.”  

Emily nods, her heart aching in her chest.  

She’d done that to you.  

She put you in a place you almost never came back from.  

“Listen, Em.” You slip an arm around her, pulling her close. “Don’t blame yourself...” You whisper, the blonde shaking her head.  

“How can I not?”  

You take a deep breath.  

“You weren’t in love with me...” You shrug. “You couldn’t help it, and I understood...”

Emily turns her head, her forehead resting against your cheek.  

“I never stopped caring about you.” She whispers, her lips brushing cheek making your heart stutter in your chest.  

“I never stopped caring for you either Em... We just...” You swallow hard, the words crawling up your throat leaving a sour taste in your mouth.  

“We just weren’t meant to be together in that way.”  

At the confession, the first of Emily’s tears streak down her cheeks, the woman sniffling as she closes her eyes.  

The words feel like venom in her mouth, the taste of bile on her tongue.  

She nods.

“You’re right.”  

You turn towards Emily, wrapping your arms tightly around her, pulling her close. 

Emily’s nails scrape against the back of your neck, your eyes fluttering shut as you hum, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering their wings.  

You did your best to ignore them.  

                                                             ***

“Em, wait... Please...” You shake your head, watching as tears steam down the blonde’s face. She shakes her head.  

“I can’t Y/N, I think it’s best if we just stay away from each other... I’ll see you at camp.” She says solemnly, slipping out of your apartment, and out of your life.

                                                             ***

“Y/N! WAKE UP!”  

You sit up with a gasp, head on a swivel as you take in your darkened apartment.  

“E-Em?” You rasp, the blonde taking a deep breath.  

“Jesus. Finally, I couldn’t wake you up you’re a-

Suddenly, you lunge at her, wrapping your arms tightly around her, the blonde’s arms slipping around you.  

“Hey, it’s okay...” She whispers and you shake your head.  

“No, no, you left, and you didn’t want anything to do with me and I just-

Emily shushes you softly, her hazel orbs fluttering shut as her hands run gently down your back.  

“It’s okay Y/N, I’m here...” She whispers, tears streaming down your cheeks as you bury yourself in her embrace, hiding your face in her neck.  

Emily sighs, tightening her hold on you.  

“I’m here Y/N, I’m not going anywhere...” She whispers and you sniffle, pulling back to look in her tear-filled hazel orbs.  

“Promise?” You whisper and Emily smiles softly, cupping your cheeks, gently swiping each and every one of your tears away.  

“I promise.”  

                                                             ***

The season’s start was drawing nearer and nearer, which meant soon, Emily would be heading back to Orlando to practice with the Pride, where as you were staying in Portland to practice with the Thorns.  

The closer the time came, the more your heart ached, the more you yearned for the blonde, yearned to tell her the true extent of your feelings, yearned to tell her that you wanted more, but you couldn’t.  

You couldn’t be rejected again; you couldn’t again be rejected by the woman you loved.  

Lindsey huffs loudly when you leave the table, launching a crouton across the table at Emily who squeaks.  

“What!?” She asks, hazel orbs wide as she wipes the crumbs off her shirt.  

“Tell her how you feel idiot.” She sends the defender a glare, the woman’s cheeks flushed pink.  

“I-I don’t-

Lindsey goes to launch another crouton across the table but Tobin stops her, grabbing her hand.

“Sonn...” She whispers, taking a deep breath.  

Emily glances down at her lap, swallowing hard.  

“I can’t... I don’t deserve her after what I did.” Emily shrugs. “I broke her heart and-

Christen slips an arm around the blonde, sending her a small smile.  

“And you’ve mended it.”  

Emily hazel orbs fill with tears, a smile stretching across her face, a smile that’s wiped away within a few seconds.  

“That’s why I can’t break it again.”  

The blonde remains silent as you drop down in your seat beside her, a frown on your face.  

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask, covering her hand with your own and Emily sniffles, swiping at her eyes with her sleeve.  

“N-Nothing, just allergies.”  

Your eyes narrow.  

Emily was one of the WORST liars in the world, the woman unable to look at you as the words left her mouth.  

You intertwine your fingers with Emily’s, giving her a soft smile.  

“Whatever it is Em...” 

You give her hand a squeeze. 

“I’m here for you...”  

Emily smiles, squeezing your hand back.

“I know Y/N.” She whispers, smiling softly at you, her eyes still teeming with tears.  

“I know.”  

                                                             ***

The day Emily Sonnett leaves, a piece of your heart goes with her.  

You didn’t want her to go.  

She didn’t want to go.  

But she had to, she had to because her team was in Orlando, and yours was here.  

“Call me every day?” You ask, bottom lip trembling at Emily sniffles, throwing her arms around your neck.  

“Every day.” Emily buries her face in your neck.  

“Answer every day?” She asks and you snort, squeezing her tightly.  

You wanted nothing more than to keep her in your arms, keep her here with you, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t because she was needed elsewhere, and you couldn’t because if you loved her, you’d do what was best and let her go, even if it meant she wouldn’t be yours.  

Emily pulls back, cupping your cheeks, ridding them of tears with the pads of her thumbs.  

“We’ll see each other again.” She whispers, resting her forehead against yours. “I mean, I have to show you up when the Thorns face the Pride, don’t I?” She grins, your eyes fluttering shut as your lips split into a grin.  

“In your dreams Sonnett.”  

Your eyes flutter open, Y/E/C orbs locking with her hazel orbs.  

“I’m gonna miss you.” She whispers and you sniffle.  

“I’m gonna miss you too.”  

                                                             ***

Watching Emily Sonnett walk away was the hardest thing you’d ever had to do, watching as half of your heart walked away, half of your heart within Emily’s hands.  

Again, you’d wanted to turn towards the bottle to prevent your loneliness, to numb the pain, but thanks to Tobin and Christen, you didn’t, instead hiking, and jogging with the two, preparing for the season with the Thorns.  

Ultimately, Christen had to head back to Utah, but you were far from alone, though this time instead of it being Christen, Tobin and Lindsey it was Tobin, Lindsey and Becky,  

It was after practice one day that Lindsey took a deep breath, glancing at you, watching as you sadly stared at your cleated feet.  

“How’s Em?” She asks, watching as your ears perk up.  

“She’s good, apparently the three A’s are taking good care of her.” You smile, referring to Ali, Ashlyn and Alex.  

You were thankful for the three of them, Emily had made her home with the Thorns, and leaving them behind was like leaving her family behind, so to have Ali, Ashlyn and Alex made it easier for her to transition.  

                                                             ***

Across the world, Emily was in a similar situation, walking side by side with Ali, Ashlyn and Alex, her eyes on her feet.  

“How’s Y/N doing?” Ashlyn asks, noting the way Emily’s eyes light up, a smile stretching across her face.  

“She’s doing good, Tobin and Becky are keeping her out of trouble.”  

What she hadn’t told them though was that the Pride would NEVER be the same as the Thorns, because you weren’t on the team.  

Alex, Ali and Ashlyn had somewhat dulled the ache in her heart, but only YOU were truly the one who could dull the ache in her heart entirely, considering half of her heart stayed in Portland with you.  

Ashlyn slips an arm around Emily, the goalie sending her a soft smile.  

“You’ll see her soon, I mean, the Pride HAS to square off against the Thorns eventually, right?” She nudges her and Emily smiles.  

Across the country Lindsey is doing the same, nudging you with a grin.  

Unbeknownst to you and Emily you utter the same words at the same time.  

“You’re right and I can’t wait.”  

                                                             ***

You were in love with Emily Ann Sonnett, that was an undeniable truth, but what was also an undeniable truth was that you were absolutely terrified. Terrified that you’d again be rejected by the blonde, something you knew you wouldn’t be able to take again.  

You couldn’t hold back how you felt anymore. Unlike before, when you’d put as much distance between you and Emily as you could, this time, you’d craved to see her, longed to hear her laugh, and see her smile, indeed her absence HAD made your heart grow fonder and fonder of her, so much so that when you saw her again, you weren’t sure what you’d do.  

“Hey, where’s your head at?” Lindsey gives you a nudge from her seat on the bus and you smile.  

“N-Nothing...”  

“Em?” She asks and your smile widens.  

“Maybe.”  

Lindsey snorts.  

“Maybe.” She mocks, earning a swat from Becky.  

“Ready to see her?” Tobin asks and you lick your lips, shrugging.  

“Ye-Yeah, but...”  

You take a deep breath, heart hammering in your chest.  

“I...” You close your eyes, swallowing hard.  

“What is it?” Becky asks and you take a deep breath.  

“I’m worried I won’t be able to stop myself from telling her I love her.”  

Your eyes widen, as do Lindsey’s, Tobin’s and Becky’s.  

Tears well up in your eyes as you turn towards them.  

“I-

Lindsey cups your cheeks, smiling.  

“Maybe you shouldn’t stop yourself?” She shrugs and you scoff.  

“I can’t get my heartbroken again... I can’t...” You mumble, your bottom lip jutted out and Lindsey smiles.  

“I don’t think it will happen again...”  

Your eyes narrow, brows knitted in confusion.  

“How can you be so sure?”  

Tobin and Becky share a glance, both smiling as you turn to them.  

“We just know.”  

You swallow hard, eyes again dropping to your lap.  

“I don’t know guys...” You whisper, turning away from the three of them.  

“I don’t know.”  

                                                             ***

“Excited?” Ashlyn asks as she and the rest of her USWNT and Orlando Pride teammates wait for the Thorns to arrive, Emily absolutely giddy at the prospect of seeing you again.  

“Yeah, I am. Can’t wait to see Y/N...” She smiles, eyes narrowing when she sees Ashlyn, Ali and Alex, all looking at her in a peculiar way.  

“What?” She asks, earning a snort from Alex.  

“You forgot Tobin, Lindsey and Becky.” She winks, the blonde’s eyes widening.  

“Oh...”  

Ashlyn grins, clapping her shoulder.  

“Em, when are you going to tell her?” She asks, Emily’s hazel orbs widening.  

“Tell her what?” She asks dumbly, eyes widening when Ali cups her cheeks.  

“That you love her.”  

Emily’s eyes widen further, her mouth opening and closing as her hazel orbs dart between the three women.  

“I...” She starts, unable to find the words she’s looking for, her mouth snapping shut seconds later, the woman unable to continue the lie.  

“What if she doesn’t love me back...?” Emily whispers, a tear streaking down her cheek, the blonde and her Orlando Pride teammates unaware that their fellow USWNT teammates from the Portland Thorns are making their way towards them.  

“Hey.” Ali grins when she sees you, Tobin, Lindsey and Becky.  

Emily’s eyes widen as she turns around, a grin stretching across her face when your eyes lock.  

In a split second she’s in your arms, her arms wrapped around your neck, yours slipping around her middle.  

Emily nuzzles into your neck, the woman sighing at the feel of being in your arms again.  

Your USWNT teammates are all smiles as they watch the two of you reunite.  

“I’ve missed you.” Emily whispers in your ear, the woman’s heart whole again as the two of you embrace.  

Not only is her heart whole, but yours is as well, the woman’s chest against yours bringing your heart together as well.  

“I missed you too Em, so much.”  

                                                             ***

“You can’t take your eyes off of her.” Carson Pickett nudges Emily with a grin, the blonde’s bottom lip jutted outward.  

Again though, hazel orbs drift to the field where you’re playing, immediately locking onto your running form, the black and white ball at your feet.  

“Have you told her how you feel?” Carson asks, the blonde shrugging.  

“We were together before and it didn’t work out...” She mumbles, her gaze falling to her cleated feet. “I broke her heart back then.”  

Carson smiles when she sees you glance across field, smiling at the oblivious defender beside her.  

“It looks to me like you put it together again.”  

Emily picks her head up, hazel orbs locking with your Y/E/C orbs across field, a smile stretching across your face.  

Emily smiles.  

“Maybe you’re right.”  

                                                             ***

“YES!” Emily throws a fist in the air as you jump into her arms, hugging her tightly.  

Everyone on the field freeze your USWNT teammates slapping their foreheads with their palms.  

“Did they forget they're on different teams?” Tobin shakes her head as Alex snorts.  

“Yeah, I think they did.”  

You slip out of Emily’s hold, your eyes wide and face red when you look down at her jersey.  

“Ummm...” You blush, Emily following your gaze, her eyes widening.  

“Oh...”  

You both clear your throat, glancing away, your teammates all smiling as Emily punches you in the shoulder.  

“Lucky assist.” She scoffs and you hum.  

“Lucky had nothing to do with it Em.” You wink, the blonde huffing as she shoves you.  

“Sure, it didn’t.”  

You stick your tongue out at her as the two of you part, Emily unable to bite back her smile.  

“Forget you were on the opposite team?” Tobin asks as you pass and you huff.  

“No...”  

“Sure, you didn’t.”  

                                                             ***

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, too bad.” Emily sticks her tongue out at you, as she helps you to your feet, blades of grass sticking to your face thanks to the currently soaked field.  

Moments before the second half it started to rain, and not just a little, small puddle forming on the field beneath your cleats.  

Emily wipes your face off with her sleeve.  

“Stupid grass.” She mumbles, and you smile, cheeks flushed.  

“Thanks, Em.”  

“Can’t have grass on that pretty face, can we?” She teases, her eyes widening for a split second before she makes a run for it.  

You bite your bottom lip, running down field, by passing Becky.  

“She said my face was pretty.” You grin, the defender shaking her head with a laugh.  

“OH GOD I SAID HER FACE WAS PRETTY.” Emily squeaks as she runs past Alex, the forward shaking her head.  

She and Becky both mumble under their breaths at the same time.  

“Hopeless.”  

                                                           ***

You’d missed her.  

Missed the dynamic between the two of you as teammates, but now, now you were opponents, and still in a way, things hadn’t changed.  

The final whistle blows and the first one to get to you is Emily, the blonde throwing her arms around you, the two of you crashing to the ground.  

Emily straddles your middle, pushing herself up on her palms as she hovers over you, blinking rapidly.  

“I-I’m sorry...” Emily stutters, moving to get off of you, but when you cup her cheeks, she stills.  

Uncaring that you’re entirely soaked, you stroke a droplet of water off her face, the blonde’s hazel orbs fluttering shut.  

Emily’s tongue swipes at her lips.  

“I missed you.” She whispers, leaning into your touch. “I’ve missed you so much.”  

Your fingers tangle in the back of Emily’s hair, the blonde’s eyes flashing open when you pull her down, your lips meeting for the first time in so long.  

Emily’s lips move against yours in a way that’s familiar but also entirely new, the spark of something you hadn’t felt before stimulating each and every one of your nerve endings.  

The two of you reluctantly part, eyes fluttering open at nearly the same time, Y/E/C orbs searching her face for any signs of reluctance, any sign of regret, something you’re relieved to say you find none of.  

Emily smiles softly, neither caring that you’re on a soaked field, in the pouring rain with thousands of eyes on you, all you can see is one another, all you can see is Emily’s soft smile as she stares down at you.  

A lone tear runs down Emily’s face, the single droplet dripping down onto your shirt as you cup her cheeks.  

“I never stopped loving you...” You whisper, Emily’s hazel orbs wide as your confession pierces her ears.  

She smiles, leaning back in, her lips once again, tenderly meeting yours.  

The two of you part, Emily’s nose brushing yours.  

“I love you... I always have, I just didn’t realize it until I lost you...” She whispers, the woman nuzzling into your palm, her hazel orbs hidden behind her closed eyelids.  

You stare lovingly up at the woman, your heart racing in your chest, your eyes sparkling with nothing but love.  

“You never lost me.”  

#uswnt x reader #emily sonnett #emily sonnett x reader #emily sonnet imagine