#any more specific advice would actually be really appreciated I don't like floundering like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freddiekluger · 3 years

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it's a new year but i haven't changed, and evidently you haven't either- thank god for that!

before we get started: here's the link to the post/s referred to where i explored what a future cap-coming-out could look like

an indeterminate amount of time has passed, and the captain's starting to feel antsy. in the moments immediately after alison decided he was gay, the captain felt pretty sure he'd managed to convince the ghosts otherwise but now he's not so sure. thomas keeps trying to relate to him about love, which has never happened before, and julian won't stop casually mentioning how "section 28 had NOTHING to do with me. actually i think you'll find i had a bit of the old 'clap' at the time, and so wasn't able to make it to all the usual meetings. it's funny you should mention meetings actually—" the captain hasn't got an inkling of what institution this 28th sector belongs to, but the various changes in the button house environment are setting him on edge.

well, the changes in environment and the fact that he's a homosexual.

to be totally honest, he hasn't got even faintest idea what he's supposed to do next. when one finds out such information about oneself, it tends to be a Delicate Matter and the captain never liked Delicate Matters. give him a frontal assault against jerry any day of the week. but alas, 'tendencies' and 'feelings' don't respond to tactical planning, and so the captain finds himself talking to robin of all people. something about his stripped back language or the way way he barks at the postie is equal parts vexing and disarming, and so when robin wanders over to the captain, who's instinctually scanning the horizon for enemy insurgents, cap asks robin if anything seems 'off' to him.

"i millions of years old and chess genius, you dead and looking for army. this whole thing is 'off'."

"i suppose you do have a point."

the captain takes a few breaths before starting up again.

"i say, robin, if you were to have recently discovered a vital piece of information concerning your own person... something you hadn't known before that changes everything— hypothetically speaking, of course— what do you presume you would do?"

"something that changes everything?"

the captain clears his throat and nods.

"i would take nap."

cap rolls his eyes at this, and prepared to walk away. what was he thinking, asking a caveman for advice!

"i would take nap, then after nap, i talk it out. important to get things out in the—" robin starts gesticulating wildly, moving his hands together and then apart again, like the pages of a book, or maybe a gate??

the captain makes a few far too specific guesses (grappling hook, semaphore), before realising robin means 'open', which is a relief to them both. robin continues.

"good to get things out in the Open. talk with friends. make head less full."

if anything, your head's not full enough, the captain thinks, but robin's words do lodge in his mind. they become particularly noisy at night, when a loneliness he can't quite put his finger on settles in, and he hasn't quite been able to shake that urge to run that erupted in him the minute alison uttered the word 'gay'. perhaps a frontal assault of sorts is not entirely out of the question.

the next day during food club (kitty was about to share the foods cook used to bring her when she was forced to stay in her room while her sister entertained guests), the captain stands to face the rest of the ghosts. his unbeating heart still manages to feel like it wants to leap out of his chest, but he steels himself. being a soldier means facing things head on, and he'll be damned if he doesn't continue to do so. (does being a ghost count as damnation? he figures that's a problem for a different day)

"I have something I'd like to tell, er, share, with you all."

the captain makes eye contact with robin on 'share'. meanwhile pat, pretty sure where this is going, attempts to subtly signal an approaching alison to stop— the captain is doing his best not to look like a deer in headlights, but pat isn't sure that a single interruption won't scare cap off for another decade.

"as you may have guessed, i've had a lot on lately."

the captain clears his throat again, rocking on his heels.

"that is to say, i've recently been made aware that even an old captain like myself should— should be open with his troops, er companions."

pat chimes in- "i think you mean friends, cap." the captain just makes a captain-y noise, fiddling with his swagger stick. what he wouldn't give for a tank to come barging through button house right at this second.

"there's no easy way for me to say this, so i suppose i ought to come right out with it. that's what i'll do. i'll just tell you. i'm about to do it. any second now."

the ghosts sit in silence. julian can't help but wonder how many of kitty's foods they could have gotten through by now.

"i'm gay," the captain blurts out abruptly. well, i suppose that's one way of doing it. The captain stammers and flounders a bit before continuing. "I like men, as alison so 'eloquently' said, no further questions, that'll be all thank you very much. ahem."

the captain did envision this going a bit more smoothly, but then again the brits thought Gallipoli would be a piece of cake, and look how that ended up. pat's voice is the first to break the silence as the captain walk-runs back to his seat.

"that must have been really difficult for you, cap, and we all really appreciate you telling us, don't we guys?" the ghosts murmur assent. "guys?" the ghosts give more enthusiastic murmurs of assent, as the captain shifts his gaze from his shoes to us found/forced family. before he can properly respond, kitty throws her arms around him and starts talking a mile a minute about how excited she is for him, and before he knows it thomas is outpouring his poetic admiration for the love between men ('especially in a time such as your own'), humphrey is attempting to deliver a 'good job' from a nearby coffee table, mary is wishing him many blessings and 'appiness, robin is wearing an 'i told you so' look on his face, fanny is sporting a surprisingly tender smile. pat initiates a big group hug, and even a reluctant julian joins in.

the captain has never gone in for hugs, but much like Delicate Matters and robin's sharing approach, he's starting to see a place for them. alison just watched and smiles. the captain is seeing a place for himself too.

#sorry for any typos- i hope you like it!#i was in a weird mood when i wrote this (hopefully that doesn't come across) but i love my dead gay son #also kitty hugging cap is mlm wlw solidarity and patcap stans PLEASE interpret pat jumping in to make clear to cap that he's accepted as-#-him doing the best for his bf xx #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #the captain #the captain ghosts #ben willbond #robin ghosts #laurence rickard

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darapnerd · 7 years

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G33k HQ Presents: MC Front-A-Lot Interview

Interview Questions From G33K-HQ & Darealwordsound (Wordy): Nerdcore Interview Collaboration Questions

MC Front: Thank you for bearing with me! So sorry to continually drop the ball on this. Here you go.

Wordy: What was your first creative outlet? MC Front: I seem to remember kindergarten involving a lot of drawing. First and second grade had poetry exercises sometimes. But the way we played D&D between 2nd and 6th grades was how my imagination really got fired up. We didn\'t like dice and maps that much. We\'d take turns DMing and just sort of freestyle the stories to each other at recess. Wordy: What was the first rap album you ever purchased? MC Front: It was also my first CD. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, He\'s the DJ, I\'m the Rapper. Wordy: Who are your biggest music inspirations?

MC Front: Tom Waits, Public Enemy, Bjork

Wordy: Describe your studio to us.

MC Front: I have an Ikea desk that\'s been out of print for 10 years so I get fussy when anyone leans on it. Creaky, cheap old thing. It\'s the only one where you can bolt the rotating side shelves at any height. Perfect for the near-field monitors and re-aiming them for any version of the stereo field. I mix there in my bedroom which isn\'t treated, but I\'ve been in there so long that I can work around most of the room effects. I have a coat closet fully treated, very dead and dry, for vocals. I keep some buttons in there to engineer myself, but everything\'s still happening on the studio computer. My pre-amp and mics and monitors are satisfactory. I could use a better ADC/DAC.

I will record occasional hand percussion, etc, in that closet booth, but very little fits in there. For other acoustic capture, I\'ll rent time at a real studio (any time I\'m tracking my drummers) or I\'ll go field-record strings at someone\'s apartment.

A solid two thirds of the non-vocal sound on the albums is electronic, and I can get keyboard performances or work on drum machine material in the project studio without worrying about the ambient noises of Brooklyn.

Wordy: Describe your ideal home studio if money wasn\'t a problem.

MC Front: A proper treatment of the mixing room would be great. I guess I\'d have twenty of these Avalon pre-amps and a little drum room, as well as a booth big enough for upright bass or cello. There is almost unlimited fanciness available in the hardware market... I guess I\'d have to make a hobby out of shopping. I\'d still use Reaper as my DAW, though -- the least expensive version of that kind of software, and also the best. I could probably spend sixty grand on plugins.

Wordy: What is your creative process for writing and or producing a song?

MC Front: Baddd Spellah, my Canadian beatsmithing partner, has been kind enough to work on grooves with me for the last fifteen years. Usually I will start with something he\'s been kicking around, or he\'ll take a pass at some live drum that I\'ve been chopping up, and we\'ll add keyboard material from Gm7 (Gaby Alter), my longtime music co-writer. When there is a verse-appropriate groove that is in pretty good shape, I\'ll leave it on loop and write. Once in a while, I\'ll write a hook over a groove that feels like a chorus, and start from there. After I\'ve got most of a lyric, I\'ll put down a scratch vocal so that Spellah and I can build a full song arrangement. Then I\'ll record too many takes of the final vocal, and spend too many months dicking around with the comp, the mix, and all the instrumental details. Finally I\'ll listen to it on as many different devices as I can, fine-tune the mix, and stay up for a week and a half making increasingly bad decisions about everything on the album, leading up to the mastering appointment I foolishly committed to several months prior.

Wordy: What is your happiest On-Stage Moment?

MC Front: I think a PAX crowd demanded a second encore once. That makes you feel like a superstar.

Wordy: What was your favorite song to write or record?

MC Front: Maybe Stoop Sale? But that might be because the video came out so well. For the most part, my happiness with the process relies entirely on the result: it makes me happy to listen to a track if I don\'t just hear a barrage of fuckups that it\'s too late to go back and fix. But there aren\'t very many of those. Of all my lyrics, I\'m probably proudest of Two Dreamers from the Question Bedtime album. I feel like I worked out every bit of the story and then obscured it just enough that the listener\'s careful attention is rewarded.

Wordy: What advice do you have for aspiring artists?

MC Front: Practice a lot, develop your talent. Get the skills you need to properly communicate with whoever your creative partners are. Take the craft seriously but give yourself a break for not having mastered it -- that is a lifelong process with no actual end goal.

Wordy: What project do you feel best describes you as an artist?

MC Front: The Nerdcore Rising documentary probably says more about me and the band than I\'d ever be able to, and in kinder words. Of my own projects, I like the Zero Day and Solved albums as a window into whatever it is I\'m trying to say about nerdcore.

Wordy: How do you feel about the disconnect between \"Nerdcore\" and \"HipHop\"?

MC Front: Well, hip-hop is a cultural movement with very specific origins and elements. Rap is a formal music style that emerged from hip-hop. Any \'variation\' or \'new perspective\' that someone brings to rap is fine -- if meaningless. It might matter that you came up with a new thing to say, but the fact that you chose an unusual form for your expression should be the least interesting thing about it. You can write a march for your peace movement, even if marches come from military music, because the march itself is just a formal style of composition. You\'d be smart to note the ironic relationship there, or you\'d be dumb to suggest that there isn\'t one, or that your choice to use a march as an expression of pacifism somehow reaches backward and affects the origin of the form. Anyone who thinks they\'re \'expanding\' or \'liberating\' hip-hop from its roots by rapping about things that haven\'t been rapped about traditionally is probably an idiot.

My idea about hip-hop was only to observe that it was cool. Like, it was the coolest thing happening in American culture when I was a kid, and it probably still is. Breakdancers were the coolest kids on the playground. Graffiti kids were the coolest outlaws in fourth grade. And rappers were the coolest possible composers of verse.

To want to compose and perform verse in that formal style without having any direct connection to hip-hop, and without being cool, is the sort of desire nerd kids might express by themselves, away from arbiters of hipness, and share only with other uncool kids. The idea of nerdcore went no deeper than that, originally. I\'m glad that a lot of other DIY rappers have found that resonant enough to expand upon.

Wordy: Do you feel more \"Nerdcore\" rappers should know about its roots in \"HipHop\"?

MC Front: Definitely. I remember trying to write a Villanelle in a college poetry class. First, we had to read and dissect a sheaf of them. The professor was of the opinion that we would all flounder in the assignment, because there had been only a handful of good Villanelles ever written. I\'m sure none of us wrote one of lasting value. The point was to learn how formal composition connects works, and to appreciate the complications. You can always just do it anyway. But knowing where it comes from and how it\'s been attempted before teaches you how to try to do it well. I think anyone who wants to compose lyrics within the rap genre should know all they can about how raps have been composed so far.

That doesn\'t even begin to address the cultural issue. Some artists misidentify nerdcore as comedy music, and worse yet, think the joke is \"it\'s rap, but white kids are doing it.\" I think that outlook leads to the weakest possible songs, and is generally disrespectful of hip-hop in a way that concerns me and offends anyone who cares about American culture. Of course, not all of the nerdcore rappers are white, but all of the schticky ones are. I wonder if a delve into hip-hop\'s history would cure them of that impulse, or at least afford them the humility to hush it up.

Wordy: Are you involved in any philanthropy in your local communities or abroad?

MC Front: I try to do something in support of Child\'s Play every year. I\'m going to contribute to the upcoming Worldbuilders album project.

Wordy: Can you freestyle? Meaning rap off the top of the head? If so, can we see you drop a few bars next time live?

MC Front: I never do this! I think I\'ve conditioned myself into a certain kind of vanity. Almost everything on the albums is rapped in complete sentences, with rhymes that I\'ve never used previously. Freestyling doesn\'t work that way. I\'m too ashamed to let anyone see me freestyling about the frog, on a log, in a bog, who got sog-gy.

Wordy: Do you consider yourself a “GEEK”?

MC Front: Of course.

Wordy: In your own words, describe what the word “GEEK” means to you?

MC Front: I decided at some point a long time ago that geeks are all direct descendants of the side-show geek, whose job was biting heads off of chickens. They weren\'t special in any way, except that they were willing and able to do that thing, and it was a fairly extreme thing to do. But because nobody else at the carnival was willing to go to that extreme, the geekery came to seem like a highly specialized skill.

That\'s why you can be a geek about anything. You just need a topic where your knowledge or expertise is so specialized that it seems distastefully extreme to non-geeks. You can geek out about fantasy novels or about robot AIs. But you can also geek out about car engines or cooking. You don\'t have to be a nerd to geek out.

Nerds are almost always geeks, and their subjects of geekery are often recognizably nerdy. But a nerd is something else, a person who was already too weird or too smart, and felt alienated, and embraced geekery as an alternative to whatever broader pursuits the cool kids enjoyed.

Wordy: What is your earliest geek memory?

MC Front: I was a Star Wars geek starting at age three and a half when the first one came out. It was the only thing I wanted to do. I made adults take me to see it 11 times before Empire came out (I kept careful count). I collected the Kenner figures obsessively until they stopped making new ones a year or two after Jedi.

Wordy: What is your \"Geek\" hobby? Do you collect comic books? Anime? Video games?

MC Front: I do still love comics, but I own too many. Video games take up less space. I spend more time gaming than I do working on music, occasionally 70 or 80 hours in a week. It\'s as much an emotional self-medication as it is a hobby.

Wordy: Who are your Top 5 emcees dead or alive?

MC Front: In no order: Busdriver, MF Doom, Del, Q-Tip, Chuck D

Wordy: When is your next show or tour?

MC Front: When I get the dang old album done! Maybe spring 2017 for tour. PAX South is the soonest lone show.

Wordy: Do you have a new album coming out?

MC Front: It\'s called INTERNET SUCKS, and it is going to have a heavy \'get off my lawn\' vibe. Everyone will be mad at me, yet secretly agree with every word on the record. Watch for it to take your feeds by storm.

http://frontalot.com

more at darealwordsound

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