#anxiety really is a motherfucker lmao ughhhhhhh

[coridallasmultipass]

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#hfffffff okay i spent fucking hours rambling in that ao3 comment lmao i wanted to apologize for that but #i dont wanna give the author a reason to reply or guilt them into reading the whole thing lol #i hate having anxiety #bc it means sometimes i cant be like 'haha that was hot' without feeling like im not doin my job as a reader #but then when i start writing a longer comment i gotta give reasons why i liked something #and before u know it im typing my whole lifes story and thats a book no one wants to read. least of all in the comments on their 50k fic #i took out so many paragraphs and revised it no less than 20 times but probably more i wasnt counting #i dont think ive ever put a comment that long but it required backstory to explain something and also how i was surprised at #...being sold in the first chapter when i was already predisposed to not wanna read the fic in the first place #god its fucking 130am ive been typing for hours #sleep has not occurred to me bc ive been in 'middle of a task' mode since like 8pm #anxiety really is a motherfucker lmao ughhhhhhh #fuckin verbose as hell lmao hate that abt myself no one wants to read my essays lol #shouldve spent at least 3 of those hours workin on my fics but alas i have time blindess and only saw 2 time jumps #anyway gonna hope my sleeping pills kick in fast #lol its probably pain. the reason why im so on edge for the past few days and especially today since i couldnt really relax #i hate being so anxious all the time but what can i do lol nothing has helped me long term #oh here we fucking go lmao im writing another essay in the tags yeah i gotta hit the pen or something to chill or the pills aint gonna help #delete later / / #i swear i dont mean to but i blink and ive written an essay it happens without doing it consciously