#aneh answers

[hg-aneh]

Aneh are you a helluva boss fan? And if yes, have you seen the new trailer? It has done Things to me and I can't stop talking about it

Heyyy

Not a Fan Fan per se, but I do watch the show to gawk at the animation (the ppl who animate those incredibly complex and detailed characters are legit animation gods) and art direction kajfwj (seriously the backgrounds are gorgeous)

I haven't watched the new trailer but I'm glad y'all are having fun! :D

#aneh answers #aneh wont shut up #and i like blitzo ngl

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Please read the whole post before commenting. I’ve never made a public post like this before so bear with me if it seams long-winded.

Recently @hg-aneh has been bombarded with extremely upsetting comments since they confirmed that they do ship Crowley and Muriel.

First off, it is never okay to dog pile on someone who is not already in the wide scale public eye. Calling someone a pedophile because of fictional ships is never okay. Lashing out at someone is not going to help them see your point of view, it automatically puts them on the defense and no one makes any progress either way. If you see someone has commented the same thing you were going to say, don’t. It is a terrible feeling to see 100 notifications and know they will all be people tearing you apart.

Quelin Sepulveda is an adult. Muriel is canonically thousands of years old. They might find solace in Crowley, who I know would deeply care for them. Crowley is a character who fosters curiosity and wonder in other characters. Muriel has that inherently, and it is logical to assume that as Crowley is alone they would naturally come together in some way.

From Muriel’s perspective, Crowley is one of the first people to like them for simply being themselves. He is going to be their first constant in 6000 years that isn’t demeaning or critical. He will introduce them to earth and all the beautiful things within. (Just like he did with Aziraphale.) For the first time they will experience affection compassion; they will be important.

Crowley would have someone who needs and loves him. Muriel is also someone who isn’t critical and would see Crowley for who he really is. Muriel mirrors pre-fall Crowley in so many ways, it would be imposible for him not to care for them. They won’t shut him down like Aziraphale would, it would probably be easier to tell what they want.

Crowley also knows more about earth, heaven, and hell than any other being has except God and The Metatron. He understands the inherent traumas that heaven and hell inflict on everyone. He knows what’s coming. He knows what is at stake.

Throughout their life Muriel has only spoken to people once every 300 years. Yes they take records so they probably know some things, but only from Heaven’s point of view and without context. Most of those they do meet are unkind as they see Muriel as the lowest in their ranks. You can see how nervous they are when Saraqael brings them to speak to Uriel and Micheal about Gabriel’s matchbox. Muriel knows so little about earth that they have to be taught how to drink tea. They do not have any idea how to interact with anyone because they never got the chance to. During the season they are in an entirely new place with new people and they have no experience with any of it, so much so that they are easily manipulated twice. Once about Aziraphale and Crowley’s secret meeting, and again when Crowley gets them to “arrest” him. They don’t have enough experience to know that they even could be manipulated or abused. They think that everyone has their best interest at heart.

The knowledge gap between Crowley and Muriel’s is reminiscent of that of movies like Tron Legacy, Fifty First Dates, Fifth Element, the original Planet of the Apes, and Splash. If you have made it this far Pop Culture Detective does a great job at explaining it.

Muriel is definitely autism coded and autistic people are frequently infantilized, but most of us know basic things about the world. We haven’t been stuck in an empty room for thousands of years. It is common for those with immense trauma to find a romantic connection for the first person who was truly kind to them. That’s why doctors can’t date their patients, teachers can’t date their students, and therapist can’t date their clients. Muriel doesn’t even know what romance is or what it entails for them or Crowley. (Aziraphale has also been super autism coded this season so we don’t just have Muriel)

But that’s only the case for the current cannon. It’s okay to retcon things in your own works, to go through different scenarios with characters that would allow them to interact differently. It’s okay to wonder about different characters and see them as a couple. It’s always important to take a step back to see the whole picture before commenting on something like this. I love the Good Omens fandom, it has allowed me to be myself and meet new people. I don’t want this fandom to become a toxic place. We already have to deal with homophobia and transphobia bearing down on us from the outside. We just want to make and experience art together.

Thank you so much for reading through all of this, it is really important that we support each other right now and I hope that everybody, especially @hg-aneh is doing well (I can’t imagine how exhausting this whole ordeal has been). If this conversation does continue please do so from a place of respect. If you wish to bring anything else to my attention, please do so. I am always looking to learn more and I am always open to different ideas and ways of thinking.

Keep being beautiful beautiful humans, and take care of each other.

#good omens #good omens s2 #gomens #crowley #muriel #aneh answers #aneh draws

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

for fandom asks, 5, 6, and 10!

THANK YOUUU

I'll be answering all these for both DuckTales and Good Omens so bear with me

5: What's something you see in fics a lot and love?

DuckTales answer: FAMILY! BONDING! It's always so nice to see, and even though this is literally the Family Is The Greatest Adventure Of All fandom, it never fails to hit me in the feels in the best way.

Good Omens answer: Things set post-canon where Aziraphale and Crowley just get to be happy. I know, I know, it's very clichè, but I love it!

6: What's something you see in art a lot and love?

DuckTales answer: ALL THE DIFFERENT ART STYLES THIS FANDOM HAS!!! I know that maybe isn't the answer you were expecting but I LOVE THE VARIETY OF WAYS PEOPLE DRAW THE DUCKS

Good Omens answer: Ineffable Husbands in the rain, being cutely romantic. It just... it's the best.

10: A blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

DuckTales answer: THE ENTIRE CAFETERIA TABLE I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLL @violetganache42 @writebackatya @tokuvivor @hueberryshortcake @secret-tester @justaboot @tealottie @puffyducks @minaduck @teleportzz @ everyone else I know I've forgotten a few of you but I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE AWESOME

Good Omens answer: @thehillywoodshow for their Good Omens parody, @thebookshoparoundthecorner for being Capital-A-Amazing, @hg-aneh for having one of the greatest artstyles known to humankind, @queenwillow77 for putting up with my insane duckposting, and of course, for making this all possible, @neil-gaiman.

#the chaos duck has spoken #chaos duck answers #fandom asks

[ssunoov]

My beloved Mr.S,

I've read your letter, and before I answer your question I'm going to write the essay I promised, if you remember.

Ekhem...

SUMPAH JUJUR AKU BINGUNG MAU NULIS APA 😭 tapi mari serius dikit.

Pertama,

Thank you for coming into my life. Jujur, kamu bukan orang pertama yang mengajarkan 'what is love', tapi kamu adalah orang pertama yang memberikan kesan 'love can be so sweet'. Sampai sekarang aku masih bingung kenapa orang sekeren kamu bisa suka sama aku. Kamu melihat sesuatu pada diri ini yang aku bahkan masih meragukan 'apa iya?'. Mungkin lagu dibawah ini bisa sedikit mengungkapkan poin pertama. (?)

Percayalah, aku tiap hari senyum-senyum sendiri melihat keanehan kita. Since the first time you say 'Hi', until now, you are the person who always makes my world more beautiful.

Kedua,

Aku akan jujur kalau saat pertama kali kita saling mengenal, aku sebenernya takut. Karena dari semua chapter romance yang ada di hidupnya ddoenuu, aku merasa aku selalu menjadi masalahnya. Aku takut kamu tiba-tiba ngerasa aku terlalu aneh, terlalu nyebelin, terlalu kekanak-kanakan, terlaly overthinking, yang pada akhirnya bikin kamu lelah. Tapi ternyata kamu lebih tangguh dari yang aku kita... Jadi poinnya apa? poinnya adalah, maaf karena aku meragukan dirimu dan diriku sendiri.

Ketiga,

Kamu engga perlu berusaha aneh-aneh, you don't need to try to impress anyone, you are cool just the way you are. Kamu engga perlu mikirin keluarga aku yang super aneh, karna percayalah mereka merasa kamu super lucu bahkan dari cara kita interaksi. Jadi jangan bebankan pikiranmu untuk hal ini.

Sampai sini sebenrnya aku bingung aku nih lagi nulis apaan ya..... tapi mari kita lanjutkan

Keempat,

Poin ini maaf lagi, karena aku masih insecure dengan bahasa inggrisku yang super minim ini. But you need to know that I try my best to learn. Maafkan my broken english yang menyakiti mata indahmu 😔

Kelima, (to answer that question)

Sebenarnya kayaknya kamu ga perlu tanya pertanyaanmu itu ga sih? karena harusnya kamu udah tau jawabannya apa. Engga mungkin ga tau, kerena sudah sejelas itu bucinnya?

Tapi karena kamu ganteng, jadi aku akan jawab dengan hal yang aku pengen bilang ini dari dulu. I LOVE YOU, SO~ DAMN MUCH. You've been the only one from the start. and I'll be your one and only too from now on.

Aku akan berusaha membuatmu bahagia juga, you will not fight alone, because I will always be beside you. semoga kamu paham.

Oke akhirnya, aku bisa bilang ini!

Hai kak pacar 🙈

apakah sudah terjawab? plis iiya, karena aku engga tau selama ini nulis isinya apa. maafkan 😭

#Spotify

[bunnie-hops]

[NEWS] Pengumuman Mengenai Pesta Malam Perpisahan yang akan diadakan oleh BeMyProms pada 17 Januari, 2023.

Good evening, I’m sorry for taking a long time for this. I’ve seen and read everything you give me. Terima kasih, semuanya manis dan lucu-lucu banget! I’m sorry for not being able to give you the same amount of energy. (Maaf pribadinya yang gaptek I originally wanted to use Notion but the moment I signed up I don’t know how to operate it… I’m sorry…)

Iya udah mujinya please pikirin perasaan aku? [Nonjok dinding] I’d like to thank you for being my one of my best companions too! Maaf kl aku suka cerita aneh-aneh dan kamu masih mau dengerin cerita aneh-aneh itu juga. After all that we’ve been through, apakah masih percaya sama konspirasi kl kita aslinya satu orang? (I honestly still) Maaf juga kl aku si paling leaving on read. ^_^ I can’t defend myself for this one. Can we still be friends after this, though? Nanti kita Spotify Session Can’t Take My Eyes Off You lima jam. (This is not a bait!)

Now that we’ve truly reached the end, I don’t see there’s any reasons to decline your offer, so… If you’re looking for a genuine answer,

I’m fully yours tonight. I would be delighted to attend Prom with you! 💐

[ofwonpil]

Who's The Villain

Clue:

🫵//Y.O.U

cold butterfly

🐻ㅡG

🧍‍♂️📲

.--- .- -. . / .. ... / .- / .-. --- -.-. -.- ... - .- .-.

🖇60

Answer:

1. 🫵//Y.O.U

Moka lah jawabannya, kenapa? Karena lirik lagu grup dia you you you you 6372829191×

2. Cold Butterfly

Gue tau ini aneh banget, fwek. Tapi gue menemukan di google ada Wattpad, pemerannya si renjbun dan Jeno. Judulnya Cold Butterfly. Walaupun sekarang Renjun nya udah lepas jakun, gue tetep tuduh dia.

3. 🐻ㅡG

Wowok ini mah. Soalnya nama dia huruf G dan gue modal suudzon aja.

4. 🧍‍♂️📲

Ngikutin Hanni, gue tebak ini si Yejun. Gue udah clueless. Cuma penjelasan Hanni masuk akal kata gue. Yejun itu kan bentukannya visual virtual, berarti bener dia manusia tapi cuma bisa dari layar aja.

5. .--- .- -. . / .. ... / .- / .-. --- -.-. -.- ... - .- .-.

Tolong jangan push gue untuk jadi anak pramuka. Tapi dari kode morse ini artinya Jane is a rock star. Katanya gitarnya si Jay namanya Jane. Jadi yaudeh si Jay aja yak.

6. 🖇60

Gue gak menemukan penjelasan yang masuk akal soal ini bjir. Yaudah gue jawab diri gue lah Villain nya. Gue menuduh diri gue sendiri. Alasannya? Pengen aje.

[claarine]

❥ ⿴ 𝖲𝗉𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝗋 𝖽𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗄 . . . _?! 𝟶𝟷

Answers.

Menurutku semua anak Manhattan vibesnya positif karena nggak ada yang julid atau ngomongin jelek soal orang lain. Jadi aku pilih semuanya positif!

"Sometimes life isn't always going in your way. All the ups and downs are to make you grow, learn and become stronger."

Jennie Kim.

@Taohyung, my roman empire.

How can I love the heartbreak when you are the one I want? — Akmu

Bertemu orang-orang aneh.

Asking basic questions so I could see through their answers. I can tell whether we are match or not.

She is an all-rounder, an Ace, multitalented idol.

Sleep, trying to have fun by myself, sleep again, listening to my playlist 24/7.

Cek jawaban nomor 5!

Nggak ada sih...

PASTINYA JOIN. In fact, i couldn’t wait for the second season and what are they gonna bring to the table.

Pengen deket sama semuanya!

I think everyone did a good job portraying their muse, but I am gonna say my bf Taohyung, Clai cyizhuo and Miu bdanielle.

Semuanyaaaa!

Axelio Theodore Evans.

🍷 w/ my boyfriend

All of them are cool and give off different vibes. Jenny with her jamet vibes, Chuck with his random vibe, Serena with her enjoyable personality, Dan with his barely show up vibes and Blair with her mother vibe.

{is tagging Havian!}

Sadgirl : Yejdi — Sadboy : Yoonovh

Cantik : Semua cewek. Ganteng : Taohyung

Azel, Yosh, Havian, Cherine, Cer, Osi!

Azeeeel!

Taohyung

Azel.. 😭

I... don't know? I have never done that. I mean, why would i chase? I never chase...

I believe there is nothing impossible in this world. Unless that person already has someone special, why not try to shoot your shot? Or else, yaudah lupain aja.

The one for Vogue Korea which just release awhile ago.

No one. I love being myself.

I think mencuri username teman dekat sendiri is the peak of weird.

The way they handle a problem, the way they explain things, their personality and how they react to other people.

I think I had, once. How to handle it? I get rid of it.

Play.

My boyfriend and 777 girlies.

Nope. It is what it is.

To be loved by my current boyfriend. I have never felt so much love before and now i get a chance to feel it. How lucky i am.

Someone manipulative. 🥱

To be involved with those devils. Ewh.

Jadian sama pacarku sekarang.

SAYAAAAANG BANGET. I love Jennie so much, I will protect her no matter what.

They did a very good job!

All the positive vibes, no julid, no drama, no cepu.

Yinjoo, myvui, Osi.

Reuby, Vickoy, Janer, akun CA.

Look at 37.

My boyfriend, My Axelio.

I miss my boyfriend. That's all.

I hate my bf.

I don’t play anything since {i am at work}

I don't even have one. 🥰

Have a chat with my boyfriend, doing lovey-dovey, cuddle, kiss, etc.

Mie pedes setiap hari juga engga apa sih. Or nasi goreng yang pedes sama telur! Uhm yummy.

My boyfriend, my 777 girls, my fams.

(Attached.)

To meet all the good people here, to meet my boyfriend and be in so much love with him. To love and to be loved.

Amazing!

I am so lucky to have you in my life and i never once stop loving you. I hope for the only happiness that surrounds our path, Taohyung.

Sherlock Holmes BBC version!

Skip time and take a look at my future obviously. I was wondering what am I in the future.

Silent... A big silence. And sleep.

[jyul-ry]

⌗﹒🧸 ꒱ ⋆ . ˚ 🐈‍⬛️ . ˚ ꕀ

Holly’s diary ⋅₊˚‧

（ …29th February 2024 ）tepat di hari ini, aku akhirnya mutusin buat nekat kirim pesan pertamaku. walaupun cuman lewat pesan-pesan rahasia, tapi gak bohong, tanganku gemeteran banget. dan aku cuman bisa berharap kamu gak nganggep aku orang aneh...

（ …2nd March 2024 ）aku sempet kepikiran, apa aku salah ketik ya? pemilihan kalimatku gak ngenakin kah? soalnya gak ada respon dari kamu, hampir putus asa. tapi akhirnya aku dapat balasan juga walaupun jeda beberapa hari. dan aku bisa nilai kamu balas pesanku ramah banget, tanpa merasa terganggu dengan pesan dari aku. syukurlah! “ayy, thank you so much. have a great weekend for you” kata kamu. jujur deh, balasan singkat dari kamu sukses bikin aku senyum-senyum. salah tingkah!

（ …5th March 2024 ）sebenernya aku kehabisan topik, bingung apa lagi yang harus kita bahas. aku gak mau percakapan ini selesai gitu aja. jadi aku jelasin panjang lebar alasan kenapa aku kirim pesan ke kamu lewat retro. aku bilang, aku nervous banget, aku yang terus-terusan manggil kamu “ganteng”, aku fall in love at first sight, aku secret admirer kamu. dan di hari itu juga aku langsung dapat balesan dari kamu, senang sekaliii! you said thank you and willing to be my friend! AAAAAAAA... terus, kalimat yang aku suka, “would you mind sharing your identify with me here? since i know you are such a gorgeous one who deserves to be addressed by name”. i internally screamed 😩

on this day too, you came up with such a lovely nickname for me. “catton... because you seem to be very soft and fluffy, similar to cotton, and like a cat” uuuuuh I LOVE 5TH OF MARCH.

（ …9th March 2024 ）nah, di hari ini aku bener-bener mentok banget gak tau mau bahas apa lagi, jadi, aku nawarin kamu buat tanya apapun yang mau kamu tau dari aku. kamu setuju, tapi sebelum kamu ngajuin pertanyaan, you said “how cute” to me ???!?!?!? at this point, every little thing about you makes me go insane. about the questions, you ask me what i find interesting about you and how long i’ve been one of your admirers? ooooh i literally thought i’m able to write an entire essay to answer your questions, heheh.

（ …10th March 2024 ）dan bener aja, aku ketik jawaban yang panjaaaaang banget buat jawab pertanyaan dari kamu. you said i described you so well and you tell me to not worry about something. thank you for the confirmation, really! and then, you asked another question to tell you about myself.

（ …11st March 2024 ）dari semua yang aku jelasin tentang aku ke kamu, ternyata kita punya kesamaan! mulai dari kucing, hingga genre film. dan kamu ngajak aku untuk nonton film bareng suatu saat nanti. cubit aku sekarang juga, cepet! pastiin ini bukan mimpi!

“…and our conversation continued until it reached a month.” ⋅₊˚ ／／

time really flew by when i’m talking to you! it feels like just yesterday we were exchanging those first shy messages, and now here we are. niatku juga sudah bulat, aku bakal buat kamu tau siapa yang selama satu bulan ini bertukar pesan sama kamu di retro.󠀠 lagian, ya, kesempatan kayak gini gak datang dua kali, kan?

󠀠meskipun ada perasaan gugup, aku yakin kalau pertemuan kita bakal jadi awal dari persahabatan yang keren. aku cuma berharap segala keberanian ini membuahkan hasil yang baik, dan mungkin, who knows, our friendship might become more than just that.

jadi, hai, Adrian. this is Holly, or Catton. your secret admirer. aku berharap kita bisa menjadi teman baik setelah ini. ˙ᵕ˙

[oceazn]

Spill or Drink with DESAPARI

— Answer:

1. КСВ.

2. @boubcil.

3. 📸

4. Abam.

5. Dilarang menambah musuh.

6. 📸

7. Anti gamon dah.

8. 📸

9. Ayah - Seventeen.

10. @boubcil.

11. The Night We Met - Lord Huron.

12. Udah abis aja masanya.

13. Delapan?

14. Jeno.

15. Udah.

16. Jelas pernah.

17. Belum.

18. 📸

19. Lupa dah.

20. Kaga.

21. Maunya sama Abam.

22. 📸

23. Maunya Abam.

24. Cuma punya satu akun ini.

25. 505 - Arctic Monkeys.

26. 2018

27. Park Chanyeol.

28. Lupa.

29. @boubcil lagi.

30. Delapan dah kayanya.

31. Yang lucu cuma Abam.

32. Karena sukanya sama Abam.

33. @boubcil sorry ya ca.

34. Orang aneh yang main RP.

35. Baru join.

36. Mau pacaran sama Abam.

37. Gimana dah maksudnya?

38. Pernah atuh bang.

39. Punya CP yang fambestnya demen ikut campur.

40. Tebar hate speech.

41. Lu hebat.

42. Apa ya?

43. Samah-sama oke.

44. Aneh.

45. Sok iye.

46. Semangat kawan.

47. Semoga makin oke.

48. Jangan jualan kacang.

49. 🥤

50. Waduh baru join gua.

51. Anu.

52. Bingung dah.

53. WA & Twitter doang.

54. @boubcil, I love Abam.

55. Ini soal SOD.

[dinaest]

Bangtan and Me

Akhir-akhir ini saya keranjingan mendengarkan satu per satu lagu-lagu BTS. Mulanya karena suka salah satu lagu mereka yaitu Answer Love Yourself yang relate banget sama saya. Tapi akhirnya saya jadi suka sama pidato Rap Monster alias Kim Nam Joon di Sidang Unicef PBB dan pada akhirnya saya suka sama semua yang berhubungan sama BTS. Sampai-sampai saya kemudian menelisik semua berkaitan Bangtan dan menonton semua video mereka di Youtube. Dan, pada akhirnya tahu bahwa mereka memiliki sejarah panjang sampai di tahap yang sekarang. 

Mereka mengalami banyak tuntutan plagiasi dan meski begitu memiliki kemampuan menciptakan lagu yang hebat di usia di bawah 30 tahun. Saya sendiri suka mengarang lagu sebagai bagian dari ekspresi kegelisahan hidup, dan saya menemukan bahwa mereka juga melakukan itu bukan sebagai sebuah tuntutan tapi bagian dari upaya mereka menemukan jati diri dan mengasihi diri sendiri. Semua pertanyaan yang menyakiti hati mereka, atau mengkritik mereka, dijawab dengan santai dan kemampuan seperti itu dijawab dengan sebuah diplomasi yang ciamik hasil dari kekompakan dan kebersamaan yang terjalin satu sama lain. Jika ada satu girlband  yang diblacklist  karena kasus bullying maka Bangtan dari semua videonya nampak kenyang dengan semua yang buruk yang pernah mereka terima, dan semua pendukung yang setia mendukung mereka dari awal. Dan setelah menyimak semua lagu mereka, saya merasa mereka memang layak menjadi panutan dari segi sikap maupun karya. Mereka hebat.

Hal paling penting yang saya bisa pelajari dari mereka adalah bahwa ada saat-saat semua menjadi buruk dalam kehidupan kita. Tapi, kita memiliki kekuatan bertahan karena pendukung di dalam kehidupan kita. Manusia kadang bisa jadi maling, bagi sesamanya, tanpa sadar atau sadar karena rasa aman dan tidak nyaman melukai satu sama lain. Tapi, ada saatnya kita sadar bahwa kesadaran itu menuntun kita bahwa kebahagiaan itu berasal dari dalam diri kita. Berasal dari kegelisahan untuk memberi yang terbaik bukan bagi siapa-siapa tapi bagi diri sendiri. Karena diri kita adalah sahabat pertama kita. Diri kita adalah bukan alat melainkan sosok yang terhubung dengan alam semesta dan terutama Allah, di mana rohNya dihembuskan dalam diri kita. 

Kita kadang tak pernah paham orang lain. Bagaimana cara mereka memandang kita kadang sangat aneh. Mereka bisa meletakkan stigma. Mereka bisa melakukan stereotyping pada kita. Mereka menuntut kita menjadi seperti yang mereka mau. Mereka memiliki ego, bahasa, dan kehendak mereka sendiri. Mereka ingin disenangkan. Mereka mau dimudahkan dan dikenyangkan. Tapi, bukan itu yang baik bagi diri kita. Dan kita tak bisa melakukan apa-apa selain menerima mereka yang tak bisa diatur bahasa, ego, maupun kehendaknya. Kita tak bisa mengatur mereka menyukai kita. Kita tak bisa melakukan apa pun jika mereka memilih sangat menyukai seseorang secara membabi buta dibandingkan mendengarkan perkataan kita, sekalipun mereka di ambang kehancuran jika mengabaikan nasihat. 

Karena itu, penting belajar memberi jarak satu sama lain. Dan itu yang sedang berusaha saya lakukan saat ini. Sebuah proses yang sangat tidak mudah karena saya terbiasa menjadi anak manis yang selalu jadi pemimpin, teladan dan penuh tanggungjawab, namun juga selalu berisiko membuat saya tak berjarak dengan orang dan membiarkan banyak orang jadi maling dalam hidup saya. Saya belajar untuk tetap melakukan apa yang harus saya lakukan. Dan memberi label cukup. Pada akhirnya, saya melakukan apa yang saya mau untuk memberi jarak pada orang lain. Saya menutup diri saya. Saya tak mau berdekatan dengan orang-orang yang bagi saya telah mengambil banyak kesempatan mengacak-acak hati, melukai perasaan dan tidak menghargai saya. Saya mulai memperhitungkan bahwa mereka tak semanis yang saya pikir dan saya mulai merasakan keberanian untuk tidak disukai dan tidak kehilangan. Sebenarnya, saya tak pernah merasa takut kehilangan. Hanya saya tak pernah merasa nyaman ketika tak disukai. Saya tidak suka itu. Tapi saya belajar sedikit demi sedikit, tak masalah menjadi orang yang tak disukai, karena memang tak semua orang bisa menyukai kita, apa pun yang kita lakukan. 

Dalam perjalanan hidup saya yang penuh dengan berbagai pengalaman, saya pernah bersama dengan orang yang sangat menyukai, bahkan saking menyukainya sampai mereka tak berjarak dan pada akhirnya saya terluka dan meninggalkan mereka. Tapi saya menyadari bahwa mereka melakukan itu dengan tanpa sadar dan sengaja. Saya juga pernah berjumpa dengan orang yang sengaja membuat saya tak berjarak dengan mereka, dan tak memungkinkan untuk saya tidak diatur dan dikendalikan mereka sehingga kemudian mereka bebas melakukan apa yang mereka mau terhadap saya. Sampai kemudian saya merasakan ketidaknyamanan luar biasa selama bertahun-tahun dan menyadari betapa saya begitu berharga dan baik untuk diperlakukan dan dimanfaatkan seperti itu. Saya baru menyadari segala ketulusan tak selalu disambut manis. Dan, pada akhirnya saya menyadari ada orang-orang yang bisa nampak baik dan tulus tanpa terlihat bohong sama sekali tapi kemudian bisa melukai dan memunggungi orang lain sedemikian rupa. Bahkan sampai merusak karakter dan membuat saya mempertanyakan validitas dari identitas dan jati diri saya sendiri. Sesuatu yang ditanamkan dengan sangat kuat oleh keluarga saya sejak kecil.

Tapi, pada akhirnya ini adalah sebuah perjalanan kehidupan. Sebuah perjalanan yang tidak bisa saya sangkali sebagai sebuah cerita yang valid dan bermakna untuk menggali kebahagiaan dalam diri seperti yang Nietszche katakan. Dalam sebuah buku komik filsafat yang saya baca, ada begitu banyak cara untuk mencari kebahagiaan tapi saya paling cocok dengan apa yang dipaparkan Epikuros dan Nietszche. Kebahagiaan adalah sesuatu yang harus kita temukan dalam diri kita. Membebaskan diri kita untuk merasa cukup dan tak berbelit-belit karena letak kebahagiaan itu tak pernah jauh dari diri kita. Bahwa saya adalah saya. Dina adalah Dina. Yang tak pernah tahu kapan dia akan pergi dari dunia ini, tapi setiap harinya menjalani hidup bermakna yang harus diisi dengan sesuatu yang bermakna. Maka, saya tak ayal terus menjaga keseimbangan dengan media sosial. Saya menggunakan media sosial untuk menyatakan siapa diri saya. Dan menyatakan kecintaan saya dengan kesenangan-kesenangan terdalam saya. Menyanyi, memainkan alat musik, mencipta lagu, mencipta kutipan-kutipan yang saya ingin orang dengar, dan memotret berbagai dalam hidup yang saya inginkan. Seperti BTS yang melompat ke sana ke mari, saya merasakan kegelisahan terdalam mereka dinyatakan melalui masa muda yang tak mudah. Tapi mereka adalah orang yang berani mengejar impian yang terdalam. Mereka akan menjadi 7 anak muda yang mengubah dan menolong mental banyak orang muda.

Dan, pada akhirnya saya mensyukuri apa pun yang saya alami. Sebagai bagian dari perjalanan yang membuat saya semakin mengenali diri sendiri. Proses yang bermakna untuk mengajar saya lebih baik pada diri sendiri. Sebelum roh saya akan meninggalkan tubuh saya nanti. Dan, saya berjanji pada diri saya sendiri untuk terus memuaskan apa yang saya ingin lakukan. Saya akan mencipta sebanyak mungkin. Saya akan bermain musik seindah mungkin. Melompat setinggi mungkin. Menikmati keindahan karya orang lain sebanyak mungkin. Berbicara tentang banyak hal menarik dan menikmati obrolan berkualitas sebanyak mungkin. Itu adalah kesenangan yang tak terbantahkan dan menolong saya untuk lebih bersyukur pada Allah. Seperti yang dikatakan Rasul Paulus pada jemaat Filipi, “ bergembiralah karena Tuhan, maka Dia akan memberikan apa yang diinginkan hatimu!”. Badaaassss!

[ahthisisagoodday]

Cheesy McCheesen, my thought exactly

I barely write down about my cheesy feelings, I might not a romantic person, but now this might different. Maybe this is one of the most manly thing that I’ve ever been doing :p

Hi Claudya, this one is for you.

Did you know that we have been knowing each other for three months? Time flies, right? Let’s go back when the first time I started text you and told you that your face was very familiar and I felt that I’ve met you a couple of times in random places around Jaksel? Until this day that still feels weird sometimes.

Time goes by and you know that today, two months ago, was the first time I felt ✨very excited✨ to text you? I felt bit nervous but happy at the same time? You talked to me how you misordered ojek then 2 drivers came by and you had to reject one of them. I was thinking “dih dasar anak aneh” hahaha. From that day, I know there is something interesting about you.

Let's be honest, I have never been a fan to text with new person. It’s exhausting to find new topics, sometimes it’s tricky enough because we have to pretend to be someone else or maybe we like trying so hard to excite with the conversation, aren’t we? But it’s kinda feels different with you. All the conversation we built is just flowing and smooth, I don’t have to be a someone else and the most important is I always thrill to talk to you.

Claudya, you know all things about me, you know what I have been through, you know my struggles, and you know what my relationship was like. I had a bad one and sometimes made me fear in certain situation. I’m not fine at all. But it seems gone when I next to you, I feel like I discover a “new me”. I don’t feel any doubt to share everything from A to Z to you and what makes me admire you is how the way you take care of others feelings, the way you behave with people around you, and how you put manners above of all it makes me, melt? WK :’) *seriously, though

From that day I can’t stop thinking about you. As cheesy as it might sounds, but it’s true.

Let’s start with my anxious feelings came up if you didn’t reply my text for hours or feelings of jealousy if you go out with someone you never tell me to? Ugh actually it hurts me sometimes :/

However I don't know what kind of magic you have there, but you definitely changed a lot of things. I almost losing hope such love and relationship but you have changed my views on those stuff. My heart was moved, I also trying so friggin' hard to be a better version of myself—precisely to get rid my biggest issue: being indifferent alias cuek.

Remember you brought me tons of surprises on my birthday? The candle? That was the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received. That also was my happiest day this year with no doubt. Remember when I took you out for ramen dinner? I was shaking a bit right after we sit opposite each other, eye contact intensely for the first time but thank God I’m good at hiding it, hehe.

Also remember the day you took care of me when I was on panic attack, sick, and had to treated in hospital? You try so hard to calm me down, you sent me one or two set of meals? I knew you were just being kind to me but I felt I’m so lucky to have you around me.

I mean it in the day I said that ✨I like you✨. Wow that was sort of crazy thing that came straight from my mouth. Actually I honestly expect nothing, I just trying to honest with myself. Feeling sad? Yes, but I also realize this is too fast to expect such a yes-answer. We might don’t know more each other yet.

I miss you terribly though I always try to meet you once a week. Even when I got home after I was with you I still miss you like crazy. Maybe this is what they call: the mystery of courtship phase.(?)

Claudya, I hope this is not a false alarm. The day I asked you “Can I fight this and patiently wait for you?” then you replied “boleh Mas ehehe”, I really took this seriously from the bottom of my heart. I don’t want to lose you, I will try my best. If you need time to assure all of these things, it’s very o-kay for me, I will be waiting for you until you ready. Three, four, five months? You can tell. But in the middle of this I also hope you can slowly start to open your heart too and let me in, take care of me, or even ask or tell me anything you need. Just let’s do this genuinely? 🥺

But if the other way around occurs, please tell me and share to me too *but I hope that is not gonna happen. Finger crossed*.

I know maybe there is something burdening your heart to start this: our piece differences on our views about God, isn’t it? Clau, if we meant to be, I don’t mind to make these different things into one. It’s odd as it might sounds, but that’s true.

So yeah this is a longest piece of writing that I’ve ever written—notably about my feelings right know. If you ask me what I’m feeling right now? It’s a kinda mixed feelings situation.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I miss you so much, silly!

You know what scares me the most right now? You are getting away and I’m losing you. :(

from: your biggest fan when you are doing “wlee”.

[hg-aneh]

omg i just found your streamer crowley x baker youtuber aziraphale and i need more honestly im hooked

oh they're separated atm

it's making a lot of noise on the online spheres of that AU

#aneh answers #ineffable content creators

[mnovenia]

Day 10 - 6 Aug 2023

Goodmorning, started with drive thru McD, Yoora & Imo got ready and first we drop Imo to Hyundai Dept Store as she had to work. Then we're headed to church, parked and I directly headed to the main room to sit with Bella. Was quite sleepy and just follow through.. Kamcagi Bella bilang suru ikut berdiri -__- aigooo.. afterwards, we're heading to Indonesia worship where I met ci Yenny for last and Sisco + Salomo aswell.. Ada Jihoon, ada Hakman juga, and ofcourse hihii nemenin Yoora.. then we went to have lunch with Erica Onni, discussing whether the food is expensive place/not etc, tiba2 dibayarin sm Jei Appa ChangSejin huhu kamsahamnida.. Twas very nice meal, and suddenly gw ditelp orang arsitek temennya Pak Ferry (ora jelas). Minum vitamin dari hakman yg ok bgt langsung poop coy.. then buru2 gitu we're headed to Chongnyeon Yebe.. I sat next to Yoora and Salomo, twas a blessed time that I will remember forever, I was quite sad that was my last Youth Service during that summer in Korea.. Yoora ajak joget2 and finally it finished, we had to have Sun with 237 darakbang genk.. twas nice to share with Wiliam, Oz guy, The US girl, Jinny, Sungchan, etc. I went pretty fast, we said goodbye and again directly dianter Salomo ke tempat ibadah Indo because the youth members + Han Jibsanim has prepared many gifts for us.. So happy to see familiar faces again (didn't expect GH to be there and true he wasn't, hakman too). I was so happy to see Seungmin, Donghyun, Jungsoo + husb, Gukyeong (yg of course flirty and nempel2), Ire, Yeneung, Byeonghu, Zion and many more.. Bella gave another farewell message, we took picture and said byebye.. They gave me many seonmul, notes, pair of clothes, necklace+bracelete huhuuu terharu mereka pasti banyak ngumpulin uang untuk patungan..

Afterwards, rasanya capek banget but yet I have to stay strong because we have to go to Ha Ok Sun Jangronim's house.. sekenyang apapun, I was so amazed by her huge and fancy apartment (Yoora dropped us off). She was already busy preparing many foods for us, her husband also so busy talking to Bella and gave many questions. Twas very special dinner.. we had galbitang yg aku inget banget, jamur, salad, and many any things that Jangronim prep herself from the scratch.. huhuu terharu banget.. abis gt dia kupasin buah2 korea yang enak banget... she let us use her fancy bathroom and fancy toileteries.. but then I also found out how hard her husband is..

He also asked us to watched makjang drama together as it was majimak episode -___-'' ngakak lah, otak gw udah gak berfungsi sebenernya.. then I left my phone on the room, didn't touch because we're busy with answering both jangronim and jibsanim.. I mandi and pinjem gunting kuku, ngobrol2 bentar and nyobain duduk di cafe jangronim huhu.. seneng bgt dianggep ky anaknya sendiri.. trus dikasih celana and dress bekas anaknya dong, seneng banget akutu mesti koperku makin berat aahhaha

Kamchagi, I checked my phone ada message dari shannen lah tentang oppa korea bla3 1 jam lalu, but what made me most surprised is: Kakaotalk from Gwang Hui 43 menit lalu HAHAHAHAHA even now that I typed it, I'm smiling so wide 2:30 PM 23 Oct 2023, wow what a timing..

Gwanghui tanya gmn schedule aku minggu depan, karena dia libur tgl 7 & 8 (as he said early last week when I first arrived in Korea, I still remembered but I didn't think that he truly mean it and will follow up to spend time with me^^). So the fact that he did, just made me more interested in him. So we're talking and I said let's do on 8th because on 7th I will be occupied with my Singaporean friend.

(The one who loves me - J-Us, played on my background, aneh bgt ini lagu di hp jadul aku dari jaman baheula n kita ktemu lagi krn gw dnger Kyungju kmaren nyanyi Just as I am and I suka banget), Tuhan emang suka bercanda and speak to me in a very personal way hehhe..

I said my schedule was quite full gwanghuiya, so maybe let's just meet at myeongdong hotel after I shift my luggage. But he said: but nuna, who will help you? I said, it's okay I will do it myself. But he said: noona, ti-da-apa-apa (means he wanted to help me shift hotels) sigani mana.. huhuhuhu.. terharu :''') so I said: thank you Gwanghui, for you to ask me and willing to spend time with me, I'm already so thankful hehe... and then he was shy, gwaenchana noona.. I have a car to help you...

Then he said: noona mau apa? pgen makan apa? i was only thinking that we had a quick coffee time before I headed to Gangnam and meet jibsanimdeul, but he asked: what about meeting at 12PM? Lunch, watch theather... He even made a sort of presentation of what kind of food to choose (so cutee).. I of course choose the cheapest one that hopefully not burdening him..

And I said: ok I want to watch theater hehe.. then he called me with Kakao talk ahhaaha..oh my I was so nervouse.. Bella was in the room, Jangro/Jibsa went to their room already, so I hide and go to outside room to not make a noise.. sumpah ky anak remaja ngumpet2 telepon pacaran :''''''D sumpah ngakak ngetiknya pun, aduh darah aku langsung naik seperti adrenalin di pump.. abisnya kamchagi banget gwanghui telp.. yg aku inget cuma: noona, jal deurojotso? aku bilang eo, awalnya putus but now i can hear.. trus ngom apa, pake bahasa apa aku juga ga faham kok bisa nyambung and kita telp hahahihi lumayan lama.. yg aku inget dia tanya: noona mau nonton apa? thriller? romantic comedy? then I said romcom chua.. trus dia tanya noona dimana? Aku di rumah HaOkSun Jangronim.. dia bilang gpp besok pas ketemu aku jemput aja di rumahnya.. then I said engga, besok aku udah pindah hotel di sheraton sama chinggu (bolak balik lama baru dia ngerti)... trus gatau ngom apa lagi sumpah gainget tp seneng banget and I smiled all the time, gatau berapa lama ga pernah ky gitu.. and the best thing always happened when it's unexpected ya.. hixx Tuhan makasih banget ya kasih aku pengalaman yg bikin my heart flutters again ky gini dan its towards a very nice guy from church, who means of what he said and treated me special huhu.. pokoknya aku inget malem itu aku gabisa tidur, panas dingin bahagia, liat hp terus, and try to recall what's going on and think about it as something that's extra special, specially orchestrated/arranged by God Himself huhu.. Tuhan I want to have faith like the Samaritan woman, even though I don't understand fully, I believed. Like the royal guardian, who believed of what you said and promised, and apply it to my relationship with Gwanghui.. May I & him follow your step only to make Your will be done through us..

[eternalsunshineletter]

Day 30 : A Letter to Someone, Anyone

To : Mr. Never sure about us.

Hai, how are you?

Im doing pretty good right now. Hope you happy wherever you are. I write this letter on the train with hurt feet cause i can't strech it out haha 😂. How's your day? I used to asked that question everytime you called. Do you still remember it? Kinda miss it tho.

You said I'm really bad at remembering your words but i remember everything. I still remember about us. Im still standing at the exit door and i think you know it. I can't decide it. Should i leave? Or stay? Im still celebrate the feelings. A little scared ofcourse.

Im glad that we're good, but its so weird. Are we a friend now? Haha 😂 really? If you really want to be a friend, sure. But can you wait? I need a little more time, i mean i dont even know when it is, but maybe someday. When im done with everything about us.

Thankyou for telling me not to overthink too much, i mean i know about it but i can't handle it. So i start journaling, not everyday tho. You know it cause you saw my post. It help me a little. What about you? Do you still play your "pianika"? I love the sound when you played it on the phone haha.

I skipped the songs we shared everytime it played. No hard feeling ofcourse, i just trying not to think about us. Its me, not you or the song.

Aku masih belum nonton film "A man called otto" karena ngga sempet. Aku butuh waktu khusus buat nonton itu karena katanya filmnya sedih. How about you? Tapi kayaknya kamu ngga terlalu suka nonton. I wish we watched it together that time. Kayaknya kamu bakal malu sih, soalnya mataku pasti bengkak dan merah 😂.

Aku juga beberapa kali ketemu temenmu di caffe. Aku ngga nyapa karena takut dia ngga inget aku. Oh, and your clothes already sold out haha.

We were something right? Or is it just another story for you? Just asking. I guess you never know, but its another day waking up alone for me.

Aku masih inget hari dimana kamu dateng. There are only three of us. My friend sat on the chair, you were sat on the floor and played the guitar and i was lying on the carpet behind you. Kamu ngiringin dia nyanyi dan aku cuma dengerin dibelakangmu. Aku ngga tau kenapa tapi waktu itu rasanya kamu sangat "off guard". You were just being you. The most vulnerable moment. Aneh yaa? Aku juga gatau kenapa bisa mikir gitu. I took your picture from behind. And i still have it on the phone, i think its beautiful moment. Im sorry, i took it without consent. Do you want me to delete it?

Aku juga masih inget kamu dateng di suatu minggu pagi. Aku ngga tau kamu dateng. We made eye contact and you smile. Its so warm and its absentmindedly making me like you. You should smile more often, like a lot. Everyone would like it. Guess you didn't remember that moment. See? I remember everything, Not like what you've been accusing me of all this time haha 😂.

I also remember when you patted my back, or the first time you hold my hand, the first time you patted my head, the first time you told me that you like me, the first time we called, the first time you tell me about your family and friends, or when you can answer the riddles. The fisrt time you reassured me that you'll never get tired of me. Everytime i asked you "kamu udah cape sama aku belum?", you always lower your voice and said "belum" sampe cape beneran kayaknya 😂. I still have your butterfly, the one you made for me.

If im honest, i'd call, but im trying to let go. I almost do. I persist and resist the temptation to ask you, If one thing had been different, Would everything be different today? Theres a lot of question in my head, and a lot of "what-if".

I know you never sure about us. I dont know the reason but im trying to let it be. Tapi, makasih yaa 🦋

Hope you're okay and May your heart always be covered with warmth 🦋

#Spotify

[thoughtsofmyra]

#DreamJournal HEAL, HEAL, HEAL!

Mimpiku berlanjut

Aku dan tanteku sedang berada di rumah sakit menemani nenekku yang ingin kontrol kesehatan.

Sambil menunggu antrian, kami menonton film di TV yang terpasang di dinding rumah sakit tersebut. Dalam scene itu, terlihat seorang perempuan sedang marah-marah ke ibunya. Kami tidak tahu permasalahannya, si perempuan sangat marah, sangat marah. Ia benar-benar marah-marah, seperti tidak terkontrol.

Nenekku bertanya, “Kenapa dia?” Lalu aku dan tanteku menjawab “Kayaknya bipolar”

Kemudian adegan berlanjut. Si perempuan masih tidak bisa menahan amarahnya, namun dia berusaha untuk mengontrol dirinya sendiri sambil berjalan menjauhi ibunya. Kemudian dia berkata dengan kencang, “HEAL, HEAL, HEAL!!!!”. Seperti orang yang sembuh dari kerasukan, perempuan ini langsung tidak marah lagi dan bertindak seperti tidak terjadi apa-apa. Saat diajak bicara oleh orang lain, dia kembali berbicara dengan normal bahkan sedikit tersenyum.

Aneh.

Tapi disitu aku mengerti. Dia memiliki gangguan mental yang memungkinkan dia untuk memiliki emosi yang meluap-luap, dan untuk meredakannya perlu dia sendiri yang harus menghentikannya. Kontrolnya ada di dalam diri perempuan itu.

#Refleksi Sebelum aku tidur dan memimpikan ini, aku sempat terlibat konflik dengan adikku. Aku memarahinya beberapa kali karena hal yang sebetulnya sepele. Aku bahkan sempat kesal sampai ke ubun-ubun. Mungkin, kekesalanku belum reda sampai tidur hingga akhirnya terbawa mimpi. But the dream had revealed the answer that the controll is in me. I realized that was wrong for arguing such simple things and let my emotion burned his feelings. Next time, aku harus mengontrol emosiku, karena bagaimanapun, kontrolnya ada di aku.

[cupacuphie]

Lucu kalo difikir². Masa iyah mimpiin lagi jimin untuk yg kedua kalinya. Kostumnya ky di gambar bgt. Dia punya charming apa si smpe² bisa sedeket itu jaraknya masuk di mimpi aku. Aku ngidol suga kenapa yg di mimpi itu dia mulu. Hahahah. Gokil sih serius.

Udah gitu latar belakangnya di pasundan 3 pula. Ya makin aneh ceritanya. Trus pas dia mau pergi, aku tahan dia dg narik tangannya. Sampe aku bilang, "Kamu mau kemana?" Dia diem aja. Terus aku makin penasaran dong. "Hey, answer my question!"

Eh dia malah jawab "Nanti juga kamu tau. Bulan depan kakaknya raffi ahmad mau nikah."

Pas bangun aku ngakak sejadi-jadinya. Naha jol ka raffi ahmad coba. 🤣🤣🤣