#and you KNOW kiryu would just say it out of the fucking blue. date would probably drop a glass or something behind the counter. whiplash

[designernishiki]

#no one’s gonna pick date but god that’d be a funny option #he’d be supportive but also would be so caught off guard and so uneducated on the topic he’d say just. the stupidest shit #and you KNOW kiryu would just say it out of the fucking blue. date would probably drop a glass or something behind the counter. whiplash #anyway honestly it’s always been hard for me to pick between haruka and daigo- haruka obviously is the number one most important person to #him and if he’s gonna be that vulnerable with anyone it’s most likely gonna be her #HOWEVER. if he (miraculously) picked up on daigo never having an interest in women and having at least one close male companion that was a #liiiiitttttle too close to be Just a companion #then daigo has an advantage because. i mean. it’d guarantee the person he’d admitting this too wouldn’t judge him for it #and would have- amusingly enough- more experience in the area than kiryu himself thus the possibility for advice/reassurance #which is such an interesting conceptual conversation that I started writing it. maybe one day I’ll finish it………. #I think the only way he’d come out ti majima first would be completely on accident / incidentally #like. getting drunk with him and laughing about whatever havin a good time and after a waitress or whoever hits on kiryu majima says like #‘you know- I’ve known you for like 30 years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you return the favor when a gal flirts with ya- so what kinda #gals ARE you into–‘ ‘I don’t think I’ve ever really been into any women. ………. ah.’ #anyway that’s just one thought #anyway have fun with this #kiryu #kazuma kiryu #yakuza #rambling #polls

[swaglexander-the-great]

Yakuza: Like A Dragon

I just watched the 2007 Yakuza: Like a Dragon film and DEAR GOD I need to share this experience (Spoilers, of course)

Firstly, this film just... makes NO sense. Some (MAIN) characters are not connected to each other in any way. Who are they? No explanation. Why are they here? Who Knows. Just watch them go heat mad from 32 degrees celsius and rob various stores until one of them gets shot. She breaks the news to her boyfriend that she is mortally wounded by saying ‘i will never have ur kids’ (they have never discussed children, and are like 18). The bf is, understandably baffled by this choice of words to explain a fatal bullet wound

There is a masochistic guy who Majima beats up in a basement, and to get to said basement, Majima deadlifts a door off the wall to reveal an elevator. This guy also gets punched by Kiryu and LOVES it

Bank robbery that is drawn out throughout the whole plot, but literally doesn’t go anywhere. It’s just two dudes going heat mad because something (God??) broke the air con during their heist

Kiryu’s Ass. This man has cake for DAYS. It deflects the rubble of a skyscraper at one point.

 (^^kiryu’s distractingly huge ass)

5. it took me 90% of the movie to figure out 3 depressed men in a bar were meant to be Kiryu’s host friends

6. Nishikiyama is only in the movie for 2.5 seconds and looks like an absolute, total geed

(^ my sleep paralysis demon)

7. Date-san is jarringly tall 8|

8. Apparently everyone in the city is going mad from global warming and a 3 degree raise in the overall temperature, and to combat this, Haruka chugs water.

9. Kiryu walks into a bar and three people bow on instinct alone

10. Korean assassins appear for some reason?? One of them serves drinks to 20+ policemen trapped in a 45 degree van, which has a loony-tunes style heat gauge in it

11. Majima finds a shotgun and straight up obliterates like 6 people

12. Scenes are cut into weird stop motion sometimes?? Why?? It’s usually with Majima, so maybe he just Moves Like That

13. Kiryu takes haruka, a little girl, to a brothel. The doorman leads him into a bar with a couch facing a curtain. Kiryu feels a ping in his spider-senses and dives behind the couch. At the sound of a gong, the curtain opens to reveal Majima on a golden pimp throne with a shotgun as his men fire at the now Kiryu-less couch. Majima rebukes kiryu: You brought a CHILD to a BrOTHEL??

(Glory Be)

14. Majima and Kiryu cock empty shotguns at each other for 10 seconds straight. They also punch each other in the face in what seems like an unbreakable loop for the same amount of time.

15. This Iconic moment

(what does your Eye Patch see, Majima-san?)

16. Majima smacks baseballs into Kiryu’s firm abs until the guy who throws the baseballs fucking dies. I’m pretty sure this is some sort of test, and if Kiryu passes, he gets Majima’s hand in marriage.

17. Kiryu passes the test, which leads us to whatever THIS scene is

(yes, that is a mirror ceiling in the top picture [ft. kiryu’s bubble butt], and yes, there is far too much weird grunting in this scene)

18. It is at this point that the tone of the film goes from artistically bizarre to confusingly horny (including one whole scene of Nishiki just walking and stripping off his clothes)

(get ur hand off Kiryu’s thicc bountiful ass, Nishiki)

19. Three major characters (Nishiki, Yumi, and Jingu) appear in the final 10 minutes with probably 1 line of dialogue to build up who they are through the entire film, only all to be immediately killed. I may, however, have become confused, as Nishiki, Jingu and Kazama’s names were all translated as Sanada (??) and Yumi was translated as... Jenny even though you could HEAR THEM SAYING THE NAMES.

21.  Kazama’s name was also translated to Majima, and then finally to Kazuro for some fucking reason

22. There is no explanation to why or how the ten billion is stolen. It just Was. The how is the most confusing part, as it is not a digital transaction, it is literally a comedically huge pile of cash as per the game

23. A helicopter causes a magnitude 6.1 earthquake and just casually smashes through some buildings, but is undamaged. Majima’s masochistic basement slut prays to be crushed by the helicopter earthquake. It also vibrates Majima back to life after he’s shot by Kiryu’s dad for sitting on Kiryu’s face (see above)

24. A very dramatic scene of Kiryu drinking an energy drink while the seven grown men who surround him scream

(he then bursts into flame)

25. The Korean assassins assassinate Jingu who is literally onscreen for 1 second. Yumi now blows herself up for no reason. Kiryu does not try to stop her. Kiryu respects her resolve, and his enormous cake saves him and Haruka from being crushed by the resulting rubble

26. majima just crawls out through karumocho to the batting cages to dramatically die on their stairs. His drama is foiled by a sneeze, and he realizes he is in fact not dying, but may have just caught a cold.

27. Kiryu absolutely seems to love Majima even though Majima literally murders people, beats him to a pulp, and tries to actually kill him.

28. It is never explained who Kazama is. He just appears out of the blue, and vanishes into money-filled mist at the end.

29. The violence swings between goofy gags and actually good fighting (classic yakuza), nothing is explained unless you’ve played the game, kiryu, the main protagonist spends half his time wandering around aimlessly with a girl and a dog (not explained why he has acquired these, at some point in the movie they just Appear), and at one point I think it turned into a musical so briefly that it seems like I imagined that scene

30. All in all 10/10, would watch again. Please, somebody make a friend who has never played Yakuza watch this and see what they make of it

#yakuza #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #kazumaji #yakuza 1 #i am in Shock tbh #what did i just experience #a hot strange mess #all these pics were just me screenshotting to my friend as i live messaged the Experience #please dear god kiryu tame your ass

[20smileburgerstoagunfight]

This is out of the blue, but it's been on my mind - in the KNY universe, what does Taiga do now that he's out of prison? I wasn't sure how much was mentioned, and wasn't sure where to start looking either, so I thought I should ask straight from the source. Also while I'm here, I wanted to say thanks for sharing all your works as well!

Aww thank you!!

I haven't figured out a concrete thing for him, but I know that 1: he keeps his head down, and 2: it doesn't really work because everyone he ends up working with are snoops and gossip heavily about him. Nothing happens, people just think he's spooky.

I don't know if he would be able to become a teacher even after his name is cleared, but if he could, he'd definitely become a teacher. Probably some kind of physical education coach, maybe for older kids. I think he does this in one of the games, but I don't remember.

The other option i had for him was some kind of manual, strength-based labor in an otherwise gentle workplace. So, you have a business with a bunch of young, chipper women, and the quiet, lumbering mountain of a man who does maintenance and carries everything heavy. He does the physical, strenuous work. In this case, it's either a cat cafe or an animal shelter. Maybe even a maid cafe if you want him to be part-bouncer. Either way, I like him in a workplace where he's very sweet and brotherly to these young girls, but they're kind of hens. If you know you know. He is a rooster amongst a bitchy coop.

Outside of work, he lives in a small, almost non-existent neighborhood, on a low floor apartment. Probably on the edge of Tokyo for some more quiet. Definitely has a cat garden in a back alley, feeds and takes care of strays. This leads to local kids adoring him, because Cool Guy who can Pick Us Up and has Kittens Everywhere is generally a nice addition to the neighborhood. Becomes a mentor, Odd Uncle figure and teaches them martial arts if they donate or assist with the cat garden.

Later (and you can fully ignore this because God knows if I'll write it, so not fully canon)

when the Kiryus are targeted by the Tojo, Baba befriends Saejima to use him to get closer + intel on the Kiryus. This accidentally leads to them being in a weird "are we dating? We fuck every night and he calls me pet names and says he loves me. What does this mean?" Relationship. Which leads to Baba losing his nerve after realizing shit, I actually really like all these people. Baba ends up taking out the other hitmen sent, and Saejima has to deal with "damn that dick rlly changes a man" from Majima. So they stay in a relationship and make it official.

(Also i like the idea of them meeting + hooking up when Saejima has a crisis moment at a drag queen show and questions his sexuality, so he goes off to the mountains to find himself. He comes back "kyodai what is that" "a smoothie" "no the twink" "oh I have a boyfriend now" "KYODAI?")

Baba's a neurotic, twitchy, anxiety bomb that puts on a cool face, Saejima’s his calm, zen, perfectly content rock that screws his head back on for him.

Also, just saying: let big men be topped. That is all.

#rgg; kny