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alexanderwesker · 3 years

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Why I write c!Wilbur as I write him.

So random little post cause I realized I never explained why I write c!Wilbur as I write him. Well, long story short, I base him both on his actions in the DSMP, but mostly for his thoughts and reactions I use my own experience as let's call it inspiration, since... well, I'm paranoiac myself, like diagnosed and all (it took a shitton of work to get myself convinced to actually go through that ordeal but ehy at least now I'm a bit better, still can't go out of my house a lot but still). So I basically use my own experience to write him and his thoughts and actions, yes, maybe I tend to exaggerate some things especially if I'm not writing from his POV cause all my characters are unreliable narrators so, they may at times see his actions as something they aren't because they are misinterpreting the reasoning behind that. I also tend to write him a bit on the possessive/obsessive side of things, mostly again, based on how he acts in canon, with his one-minded focus on things and the way he just has to go through any idea/plan he has, and his possessiveness towards people is usually based on well, the fact that he takes any and all steps away from him as personal betrayal (see: Fundy's betrayal, and his continuous 'you are still with me Tommy, right?'[it's paraphrased cause I can't be bothered to go through two hours vods to search for the right phrase]) so that to me, as someone that can understand how difficult it is to get attatched to someone when your brain is literally yelling at you at any turn that they are gonna turn on you, says that if he cares for someone he'll be pretty attatched to that person. Which may seem like a very possessive/obsessive behaviour from other perspectives. About the way he acts, his being very touchy and stuff, like I know in the actual like canon he stays pretty far from Tommy and stuff, but you also have to consider that that's minecraft, so like body language isn't portrayed all that well, no matter how well you try. And secondly, at least in how I write him, most of the 'creepiness' of his gestures comes into play in other character's POVs because they are unsettled by his behaviour (that doesn't mean that there is something wrong in the way he is acting, besides well you know... the untreated paranoia that is slowly making him lash out and stuff...), the only moments he is really volutarily creepy in my fics (example in A Twin of Light when he is confronting cc!Dream that he thinks is a spy from the c!Dream) he does that to seem more threatening and have people just spill the truth without him having to do much. If he isn't trying to be creepy, his gestures could come off as such to others because they don't understand how much he needs to have contect to feel grounded, to not get lost in everything that his mind is conjuring up and stuff, (example: I have my cats, that I basically pet every time I start spiralling down into absolute paranoia; c!Wilbur doesn't have the luxury of that so he just stays very near to the people that are with him, to know what's reall and what's just his brain trying to twist things the wrong way). Right now that's all I can write without getting too anxious and antsy and stuff, so sorry if it's a bit rambly and I hope it will clear any possible misunderstanding on my writing cause as someone who gets what being extremely paranoiac means I'd hate to see my portrayal of the character to be seen as ableist or wrong when I have my reason on why he is in this way.

#wilbur soot dsmp #headcanon #vilbur #dream smp #dsmp headcanon #/rp /dsmp #[Wilbur Speaks]

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bastionthebear · 5 years

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hey just gonna blab about my feelings for a minute beacuse i have no one to talk to

its been 3 months since my best friend has talked to me and i dont know why and im so fucking worried we live pretty far apart so driving over to check on them isint really a great option and they work alot so even if i did the chance that they would be there is slim so id have to eather wait out side there front door like a weird creepy person or to just keep going over to check on them will be hard and not great with my schedule so im waiting for the 4 month mark before i take that option after all they could just be working a bunch but i have no idea if there hurt or something happened to them....or maybe there just ignoring me and dont want to talk to me anymore but we have been best friends for like 3 years so iv been phoneing them emailing them messaging them on facebook tumblr discord everything i could possibly talk to them on and no repsonses so im even more worried and just today i decided ill try and look for them on twitter since i know they use that so i make a twitter and i actually find there accounts super easy beacuse i had there number in my phone contacts so twitter just showed me there acount right away anyway they have two accounts one nsfw one sfw i follow both and send both a message just beacuse im trying to get in contect with them so i figure sending a message on both at least one of them is likely to get to them but then i come back a few hours later to check to see if he got the messages and he blocked me from both accounts even though he must have got the messages explaining how i am and such so now im thinking hes purposly trying to not talk to me but i have no idea why the last time we talked we werent fighting or anything and i just feel so alone without him he helped me so much in my life and i wouldnt be the person i am today without him....and then suddenly hes gone and i dont know why....i just wish he would tell me why he dosent want to talk to me anymore...why he dosent love me anymore...

#sad post #ignore

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