#and this one could possibly end with soapgaz?

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

hanahaki soapghost

soap spitting out flowers for the first time when they leave las almas. wheels up in ten, but he’s running last minute to the bathroom ‘cause there’s something stuck in the back of his throat and it /hurts/. coughs enough times to finally take a proper breath and…./shit/.

he knows who it’s for, there isn’t a single doubt in his mind. /what inconvenient timing/, he thinks to himself, leaning over the bathroom sink before someone knocks on the door. soap forces more of the petals, not quite yet full flowers, out of his throat and scrambles to clean it up before opening the door. ghost raises an eyebrow at him.

“You okay, Johnny?”

“‘s all good, just needed to piss.”

he…/they/ don’t have time for this, not with hassan still out there with another missile and shepard trying to get away with attempting to kill them. he can tell ghost after all of this is over.

—

soap can’t tell him. he can’t.

he knows gary sanderson, /roach/. he’d worked with him when he’d first made sergeant, and he’s a pretty stand up guy. soap remembers liking him a lot. he remembers being sad when he heard the man disappeared, reported mia but most likely dead.

now, the man stands in front of him being held in a tight hug by ghost like if he lets go, roach will disappear all over again. /fuck/. soap can’t tell ghost. it’s so clear what kind of relationship the two of them have, and the last thing soap is going to do is ruin that. maybe….maybe his feelings will go away, and with them, the flowers that are beginning to find their way into his lungs rather than just the small handfuls of petals this started out with.

it’s wishful thinking, really. soap knows just how in love with ghost he is, he’s had time to analyze and dissect those feelings. it’ll be like ripping off a limb to get rid of those feelings, so he has little choices on how to proceed next, especially since he’s already decided telling ghost is simply….not an option at all.

dying is also not an option. soap is a dramatic man, but he’s not going to let himself /die/ for love, especially if it’s preventable. which leaves him with a final choice. oh, he hates it. just thinking about it makes him feel sick, or sicker than he already is. his chest hurts and he rubs at it uncomfortably before a voice interrupts his thoughts.

“Soap! It’s so good to see you again, man!”

roach looks good. healthy. whatever happened to him during the years of his disappearance, he’s managed to shake off at least the physical effects. the other sergeant smiles broadly at him and ghost hovers over his shoulder like…well, a /ghost/. he radiates a protective aura and soap wonders if ghost sees him as a threat to roach. soap forces a smile though only someone who knows him well would be able to tell it’s fake. ghost is too preoccupied with roach to notice, and roach himself doesn’t know soap well at all.

“It’s good to see you again too, Roach. Happy to have a guy like you on board.”

someone knocks their shoulder against soap’s and when he turns to look, gaz shoots him a worried look. soap’s eyes go wide and he clears his throat, but it makes him cough. oh, he can’t do this in front of them. he tries to swallow but it makes him cough again and he gets a worried look from all three men now.

“Johnny-?”

“I’m okay,” soap rasps and covers his mouth to keep the petals from falling wet and limp from his lips. “Just need water.” his voice is rough and raspy, but he turns away before anyone can ask him what’s going on.

the last thing soap expects is to be followed. he ends up in his room and before he can shut the door, someone shoves their boot in to stop it.

“Gaz?” soap rasps.

“You need to tell him.”

/oh/. he knows. he found out. soap moves his hand, tightens his fist around the full flower in his hand and wipes at his mouth to get rid of any lingering petals.

“I can’t, Gaz.”

1/?

tbc

#hanahakiiiiiiii my dearly beloved #originally this is meant to end with soapghostroach but now I’m wondering if I should switch things up and write two versions #and this one could possibly end with soapgaz? #/I dunno I dunno/ #soapghost #ghostsoap #cod #my post