#and the thing abt spn is that it stops meaning smth in terms of the narrative. there aren't any consequences for it so it's a nonthing

[tvxcue]

but it is kind of annoying that death stops mattering bc jared and jensen are good at showing that it does! like red meat is so good bc it depends on that! like this is just a regular hunt for them and sam is dying and dean is losing his fucking mind. dean literally kills himself because of it. and then, bc hes insane, he tells sam that he knew he wasn’t dead. normal people things. and the finale of s11! dean is going to die to solve the big plot and sam is standing there saying goodbye to his brother and at first it’s like they’re not going to do anything but then dean says “come here” and he pulls sam in for a hug and sam folds himself in against deans shoulder and they’re saying goodbye and this isn’t nothing to them!!!!! it was never nothing, it’s always heartbreaking and gut wrenching and it’s the worst thing you could think of, it’s your worst nightmare come to life, it’s the thing you would give anything to stop!!! dean went to hell just so he wouldn’t have to live without sam. this never stops. they never stop being willing to die for each other, they never stop grieving, it doesn’t matter how many deaths it’s been, they grieve every single time.

#like it stopped mattering after s5 bc of the metanarrative of the show coming back from the dead like the show just kept going #even after it should have died so if spn comes back so do the winchesters bc it's abt the feeling. #you can die twenty times and it'll be a death every single time every single one of those deaths means something #and the thing abt spn is that it stops meaning smth in terms of the narrative. there aren't any consequences for it so it's a nonthing #a nonevent. another thursday night. bc it won't matter for next week's episode it won't matter for next season or the season after #but! it still does matter to sam and dean! and it works for them and it works to show just how fucking messed up they are #bc it's been nine years since ahbl and sam died and dean is killing himself to bring him back. bc thats still his pain in the ass little #brother. its his job to watch out for his little brother. he says he'll be back for sam he cant just leave him there he'll come back. #did dean take his body back to that little house himself. did bobby help. what was deans plan before he decided to make that deal. #he could never bury his brother he could never burn his body he could never leave him there. #and like the au world when dean does have to leave sams body behind hes haunted he can barely talk like!!!!!!!!!!!! #sorry. #speaking