#and the mental inner countdown all of it brings bc since taking t i'm gearing towards a more androgynous look and therefore more difficult

[shadowdianne]

I'd probably be less stressed if I stopped my very much NOT funny tradition of having a bazillion things happening 'round me at the end of the year

#still waiting to see if my doctor is going to approve my blood work #still on talks with my bank to see if the plan gets approved and I actually get to own a place #still waiting for the agency to call us back about the place we saw tuesday and we'd be interested in #I also am going to be a... dunno the nongendered form of how I'm going to have a niece in less than a week #i'm working my ass off so i don't get sacked at the beginning of the year #planning a move + how it's going to work #how we are going to be asking for days off on both of our jobs considering it all #the conversation regarding companies pertaining light #water and all of the basic necesseties #which revolves around on the fact that I need to feign being a woman for all of them and keep accepting and signing forms under a gender i' #very much not bc here i don't get to be legally recognized as anything but the binary #and the mental inner countdown all of it brings bc since taking t i'm gearing towards a more androgynous look and therefore more difficult #to pass with each passing week #i REALLY want a break #and to probably pass out for a month #(and knowing that atop of it all i'm starting to burn out and I'm not being as good of a friend I should be) #fuck off mental gnome #ps to those that might be reading the tags #me trying to own a place is mostly due to a need since mortages are cheaper than anything these days and our lease is going to be up in a #year #and we know they will not keep the monthly payment the same if we keep leaving here giving that they've increased the amount twice already #so we need to move and we need to do it now whilst i'm still under 30 #as banks offer aid to those that try to own a place under 30 and they look to the oldest of the couple #which would be me #I'm 28 #soon to be 29 in -also- less than a week #can i have a fucking break xd #living and not leaving #not editing a single tag we die like fanfic authors who don't give a damn