#and since ive already chosen to live despite being incpable of feeling worthy of life everything else is a moot fucking point

[l-e-g-i-o-n-losh]

Everything A Fucking Ordeal In Area Family

#songs that the hyades shall sing #went to go sit down in the other room to work on something and apparently THAT triggered a screaming fit. forget it #dad's continual misapprehension that i show weakness because I'm not guilty enough to be good vs the truth that i am already so guilty #about EVERYTHING regardless of rationality that all bad things register as suicidiality. all the time. every time. #and since ive already chosen to live despite being incpable of feeling worthy of life everything else is a moot fucking point #every time 'this is BAD don't you get it's BAD' of course i get it's bad. it was already bad and always going to be worse. #you are the one with the illusion of hope buddy i just work here. #like that sucks i understand its not the most constructive attitude but trying to guilt me into things LITERALLY cannot work on me #the system that regulates guilt-driven behaviors is fucking broken it's like pouring gas into a car with no engine