#and my uro wants me to go on an antiseptic instead starting this summer which could land me in the ER very quickly if it doesnt work

[doomgazedog]

need to yell about health somewhere so its gonna be here

I think I've hit rock bottom with my hypermobility. I have always felt like strengthening didn't work for me and often made me worse. I think I just haven't found the right program, so I basically gave up. After I hurt my ankle last fall, I've barely walked at all all winter (the cold is what caused the injury to begin with, so walking in the cold was not an option). I stopped going to PT after the holidays bc I knew covid would spike again. SO I've just deteriorated even further. Nothing involved with my SI joint or pelvis will hold together now. I am in constant pain. Corrections aren't working. My upper back is also a mess, likely because of the former.

I reached out to other hypermobile folks and was told to try the muldowney protocol, so we got the book and I'm going to do my best to follow it religiously by myself. It highly recommends working with a PT, and OH how I wish I could, but I don't know if anyone in town even knows the muldowney method, and even if so, I only trust one place to require masks anymore. I'm going in on Thursday as i still have leftover credits from spraining my ankle, just to see if they can help me with corrections so I can get some relief, but I will ask about the protocol too.

The trouble is I'm losing my medicaid sometime soon (april at the soonest) bc the government is cutting off millions of us now that the pandemic is """over""". The ins plan I'm supposed to be on after that doesn't cover my preferred PT. Of course. Going anywhere else will mean risking what's left of my life with every visit and I'm not willing to do that. So my options are get a really expensive mktplace ins so PT is "only" $30/visit, or go with deers work ins and only go to PT on an emergency basis and pay out of pocket, working at home on my own to try to fix myself. Not looking forward to any of this.

Meanwhile we've ordered a basic PT table, body pillow, and some PT tools so I can get started on my own. I'm afraid I'm going to experience more pain and inflammation for awhile, leaving me potentially unable to work, exacerbating financial issues after I already owed a couple thou more in taxes than I expected. But I don't really have a choice! In addition to the protocol, I'm going to start doing qi gong every morning and trying to walk down the street and back and slowly build up my walking time again now that it's warming up. I have to stop bending for now. Just a real mess and a lot of work ahead but I am really hoping I can handle this myself because I kind of have to.

It's all a bit traumatic. I grew up not having proper healthcare and really didn't have consistent care til the medicaid expansion, and now we're too far over the poverty line (which is a joke.. making like 24k a year, which the govt takes like 13% of, doesn't mean i can magically afford medical bills). Where is the M4A?? I am so tired of crying both from pain and the stress of my healthcare situation.

#hypermobility #i also desperately need a break from art-as-work but i cant do that now lol #everything is just combusting at once and its hella stressful #the PT is only part of it too like idk if ins is gonna mess with my antibiotic Rx or not.. #and my uro wants me to go on an antiseptic instead starting this summer which could land me in the ER very quickly if it doesnt work #and like haha ER bills with regular non medicaid insurance sounds like absolute hell so im very scared yall!!!!! #not to mention the feelings of Am I really Worth it as my loved ones have to shell out to keep me alive