#and mister beeb says no swears before 9pm

[infinitedungas]

i have spent more of my precious time on this earth than i care to admit deciding which of the doctorwhos will say fuck

here are my findings, please enjoy

first doctor: swears once in a blue moon. always catches people off guard which he thinks is hilarious, cue much heeheehoohoo wehehehe

second doctor: a wholesome grandpa who has never said anything stronger than "fiddlesticks". gently bonks jamie on the head if he says a naughty word

third doctor: let off a litany of curses in front of the brigadier once, just to see what would happen (outcome: subject rendered puce and speechless)

fourth doctor: will let off a booming great “FUCKING HELL” when under stress but rarely in front of sarah jane. censors himself less around romana and definitely swears at K9

fifth doctor: absolutely does not swear, thinks it’s terribly bad taste and tegan swears enough for all of them anyway

sixth doctor: RIP peri and mel they put up with so much from this foul mouthed little rainbow gremlin. swearing intensifies when mel puts him on a diet

seventh doctor: swears with an impressive amount of creativity, mostly to get a laugh out of ace and usually in languages no-one else can speak

eighth doctor: swears often and with enthusiasm, prone to following with a ramble about the etymology of certain curse words

war doctor: has been through the wringer so hard that most swear words feel insufficient now, but will use a well-timed f-bomb now and then

ninth doctor: realises soon after his regeneration that northern accents were made for swearing. fookin ell rose it’s the fookin daleks

tenth doctor: keeps it extremely tame. most companions get a half-joking, half-serious “oi. language” if they swear - the exception being donna bc he quickly realises she is a lost cause

metacrisis doctor: canonically curses in the extended universe stuff and rose calls it “donna swearing”, confirming my suspicions that donna will say fuck and ten will not say fuck

eleventh doctor: absolutely does swear but people are always surprised / mildly scandalised by it because he looks about twelve

twelfth doctor: of course he fucking does, get in the fucken box clara we’re gonnae go shit up davros and his wee pepperpot cunts

thirteenth doctor: not a swear in sight. possibly got it all out of her system in the previous incarnation. yaz reacts with mock outrage if she even says “heck”

#we will never know for sure because it's a family show #and mister beeb says no swears before 9pm #so i declare all of this canon until proven otherwise #also i was tempted to do separate entries for book eight audios eight and film eight #or at least pre war and mid war eight #because eight varies so much #he contains multitudes #doctor who #first doctor #classic who #second doctor #third doctor #fourth doctor #fifth doctor #sixth doctor #seventh doctor #eighth doctor #doctor who edas #big finish audios #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor