#and it is so common in society that sadly i don’t know sometimes if somebody is being racist towards me or just mean in general

[aroacebunny]

sometimes i forget i’m a minority and not as in “oh, i haven’t receive threats or microagressions or racist remarks towards me” but in the “i’m a human being why are people mean to me?” type of way

#personal vent #ok to reblog #and it is so common in society that sadly i don’t know sometimes if somebody is being racist towards me or just mean in general #this is my experience tho minorities have different experiences and they are all valid

[neocab]

Translating the Cyberpunk Future

I'm a video game translator, and I love my job. It's odd work, sometimes stressful, sometimes bewildering, but it always provides interesting and inspiring challenges. Every project brings new words, slang, and cultural trends to discover, but translating also forces me to reflect on language itself. Each job also comes with its own unique set of problems to solve. Some have an exact solution that can be found in grammar or dictionaries, but others require a more... creative approach.

Sometimes, the language we’re translating from uses forms and expressions that simply have no equivalent in the language we’re translating to. To bridge such gaps, a translator must sometimes invent (or circumvent), but most importantly they must understand. Language is ever in flux. It’s an eternal cultural battleground that evolves with the lightning speed of society itself. A single word can hurt a minority, give shape to a new concept, or even win an election. It is humanity’s most powerful weapon, especially in the Internet Age, and I always feel the full weight of responsibility to use it in an informed manner.

One of my go-to ways for explaining the deep complexity of translation is the relationship between gender (masculine and feminine) and grammar. For example, in English this is a simple sentence:

"You are fantastic!"

Pretty basic, right? Easy to translate, no? NOT AT ALL!

Once you render it into a gendered language like Italian, all its facets, its potential meanings, break down like shards.

Sei fantastico! (Singular and masculine)

Sei fantastica! (Singular and feminine)

Siete fantastici! (Plural and masculine)

Siete fantastiche! (Plural and feminine)

If we were translating a movie, selecting the correct translation wouldn't be a big deal. Just like in real life, one look at the speakers would clear out the ambiguity in the English text. Video game translation, however, is a different beast where visual cues or even context is a luxury, especially if a game is still in development. Not only that, but the very nature of many games makes it simply impossible to define clearly who is being addressed in a specific line, even when development has ended. Take an open world title, for example, where characters have whole sets of lines that may be addressed indifferently to single males or females or groups (mixed or not) within a context we don't know and can't control.

In the course of my career as a translator, time and time again this has led into one of the most heated linguistic debates of the past few years: the usage of the they/them pronoun. When I was in grade school, I was taught that they/them acted as the third person plural pronoun, the equivalent of the Italian pronoun "essi." Recently, though, it has established itself as the third person singular neutral, both in written and spoken English. Basically, when we don't know whether we're talking about a he/him or a she/her, we use they/them. In this way, despite the criticism of purists, the English language has brilliantly solved all cases of uncertainty and ambiguity. For instance:

“Somebody forgot their backpack at the party.”

Thanks to the use of the pronoun "their," this sentence does not attribute a specific gender to the person who has forgotten the backpack at the party. It covers all the bases. Smooth, right? Within the LGBT circles, those who don’t recognize themselves in gender binarism have also adopted the use of they/them. Practically speaking, the neutral they/them pronoun is a powerful tool, serving both linguistic accuracy and language inclusiveness. There's just one minor issue: We have no "neutral pronouns" in Italian.

It's quite the opposite, if anything! In our language, gender informs practically everything, from adjectives to verbs. On top of that, masculine is the default gender in case of ambiguity or uncertainty. For instance:

Two male kids > Due bambini

Two female kids > Due bambine

One male kid and one female kid > Due bambini

In the field of translation, this is a major problem that often requires us to find elaborate turns of phrase or different word choices to avoid gender connotations when English maintains ambiguity. As a professional, it’s not only a matter of accuracy but also an aesthetic issue. In a video game, when a character refers to someone using the wrong gender connotation, the illusion of realism is broken. My colleagues and I have been navigating these pitfalls for years as best we can. Have you ever wondered why one of the most common Italian insults in video games is "pezzo di merda"? That's right. "Stronzo" and "bastardo" give a gender connotation, while "pezzo di merda" does not.

A few months ago, together with the Gloc team, I had the pleasure of working on the translation of Neo Cab, a video game set in a not too distant future with a cyberpunk and dystopian backdrop (and, sadly, a very plausible one). The main character is Lina, a cabbie of the "gig economy," who drives for a hypothetical future Uber in a big city during a time of deep social unrest. The story is told mainly through her conversation with the many clients she picks up in her taxi. When the game’s developers gave us the reference materials for our localization, they specified that one of the client characters was "non-binary" and that Lina respectfully uses the neutral "they/them" pronoun when she converses with them.

"Use neutral pronouns or whatever their equivalent is in your language," we were told.

I remember my Skype chat with the rest of the team. What a naive request on the client's part! Neutral pronouns? It would be lovely, but we don't have those in Italian! So what do we do now? The go-to solution in these cases is to use masculine pronouns, but such a workaround would sacrifice part of Lina’s character and the nuance of one of the interactions the game relies on to tell the story. Sad, no? It was the only reasonable choice grammatically-speaking, but also a lazy and ill-inspired one. So what were we to do? Perhaps there was another option...

Faced with losing such an important aspect of Lina’s personality, we decided to forge ahead with a new approach. We had the opportunity to do something different, and we felt like we had to do the character justice. In a game that's completely based on dialogue, such details are crucial. What's more, the game's cyberpunk setting gave us the perfect excuse to experiment and innovate. Language evolves, so why not try to imagine a future where Italian has expanded to include a neutral pronoun in everyday conversations? It might sound a bit weird, sure, but cyberpunk literature has always employed such gimmicks. And rather than take away from a character, we could actually enrich the narrative universe with an act of "world building" instead.

After contacting the developers, who enthusiastically approved of our proposal, we started working on creating a neutral pronoun for our language. But how to go about that was a question in itself. We began by studying essays on the subject, like Alma Sabatini's Raccomandazioni per un uso non sessista della lingua italiana (Recommendations for a non-sexist usage of the Italian language). We also analyzed the solutions currently adopted by some activists, like the use of asterisks, "x," and "u."

Siamo tutt* bellissim*.

Siamo tuttx bellissimx.

Siamo tuttu bellissimu.

I’d seen examples of this on signs before, but it had always seemed to me that asterisks and such were not meant to be a solution, but rather a way to highlight the issue and start a discourse on something that's deeply ingrained in our language. For our cyberpunk future, we wanted a solution that was more readable and pronounceable, so we thought we might use schwa (ə), the mid central vowel sound. What does it sound like? Quite familiar to an English speaker, it's the most common vowel sound. Standard Italian doesn’t have it, but having been separated into smaller countries for most of its history, Italy has an extraordinary variety of regional languages (“dialetti”) and many of them use this sound. We find it in the final "a" of "mammeta" in Neapolitan, for instance (and also in the dialects of Piedmont and Ciociaria, and in several other Romance languages). To pronounce it, with an approximation often seen in other romance languages, an Italian only needs to pretend not to pronounce a word's last vowel.

Schwa was also a perfect choice as a signifier in every possible way. Its central location in phonetics makes it as neutral as possible, and the rolled-over "e" sign "ə" is reminiscent of both a lowercase "a" (the most common feminine ending vowel in Italian) and of an unfinished "o" (the masculine equivalent). The result is:

Siamo tuttə bellissimə.

Not a perfect solution, perhaps, but eminently plausible in a futuristic cyberpunk setting. The player/reader need only look at the context and interactions to figure it out. The fact that we have no "ə" on our keyboards is easily solved with a smartphone system upgrade, and though the pronunciation may be difficult, gender-neutrals wouldn't come up often in spoken language. Indeed, neutral alternatives are most needed in writing, especially in public communication, announcements, and statements. To be extra sure our idea worked as intended and didn't overlook any critical issues, we submitted it to a few LGBT friends, and with their blessing, then sent our translation to the developers.

Fast forward to now, and the game is out. It has some schwas in it, and nobody complained about our proposal for a more inclusive future language. It took us a week to go through half a day's worth of work, but we're happy with the result. Localization is not just translation, it's a creative endeavour, and sometimes it can afford to be somewhat subversive. To sum up the whole affair, I'll let the words of Alma Sabatini wrap things up:

"Language does not simply reflect the society that speaks it, it conditions and limits its thoughts, its imagination, and its social and cultural advancement." — Alma Sabatini

Amen.

#Fabio Bortolotti

[therineyaaa-blog]

A Silent Crisis

( BEFORE PROCEEDING TO READ MY BLOG, KINDLY, READ THE SHORTEST STORY ABOUT DEPRESSION THAT I WROTE BELOW. THANK YOU! ) ”JANE” [10:45 PM] Jane was found dead. She would never bother anybody again. - [9:25 PM] She made up her mind. She was so tired of being less important than anything or anyone. - [8:33 PM] She knocked on her mother's room. But she was too busy with those paperworks. Paperworks were more important than her. "Go back to sleep. Stop bothering me." - [7:23 PM] She texted her father. Her father was with his new mistress. His mistress was more important than her. "I'm gonna give you money tomorrow. I'm busy. Stop bothering me." - [6:42 PM] She knocked on her sister's room. But she was studying for her exams tomorrow. Exams were more important than her. "Get lost. Stop bothering me." - [5:30 PM] She called Melissa, her only friend. Melissa was with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was more important than her. "I'm with Dennis. Bes, stop calling. You're bothering us." - [4:29 PM] She was so depressed. She felt so weak. She knew she just needed somebody to talk to. She needed a person who would listen to her. She needed her family and her friend. - [3:13 PM] She was informed by her teacher that she failed her subjects again. She cried. She was so disappointed in herself. "You should've studied harder! Now, go back to your classroom. Stop bothering me." - [2:50 PM] She begged Josh not to leave her. But Josh chose her new girlfriend because she looked better. She was so hurt. "I don't like you anymore. Stop bothering me now." - [1:11 PM] She got bullied again by her classmates. She was laughed at. She was insulted. "You're so stupid." "We don't want you in our group. You will just bother us." - [12:05 PM] Jane still wanted to fight against depression. She knew she just needed somebody to help her fight against it. ( HERE IS MY BLOG ABOUT DEPRESSION )    At some point, most of us have, or will experience sadness. However, sadness is usually short-lived. When a person suffers with depression, it can affect work, school, eating, and the ability to enjoy life over an extended period. It is imperative to make the distinction between sadness and clinical depression; when depression is recognized, needed treatment can be obtained.

   Depression can affect one's ability to do the simplest things, such as waking up in the morning, brushing your teeth, going to school or work, and eating a meal. Depressed feelings make it hard to function normally, focus, and participate in once-enjoyable activities. Depressed feelings result in little to no motivation or energy, making it hard to get through each day.

   Symptoms of depression range from feeling sad, empty, hopeless, angry, cranky, or frustrated; to weight loss or gain; to thinking about dying and/or having suicidal thoughts.    What causes depression? Heredity plays a significant role, accounting for half of the etiology behind depression. Depressed individuals often are direct family members of others who suffer from depression. Depressed individuals may not have the same thoughts as healthy persons, due to neurotransmitter imbalances in the brain. Specifically, depressed individuals experience abnormal regulation of cholinergic, catecholaminergic (noradrenergic or dopaminergic), and serotonergic (5-hydroxytryptamine) neurotransmission.  The neurotransmitter imbalances can prevent someone from recognizing that he or she could find help. Many depressed individuals cannot imagine being happy again. They feel unbearable emotional, and sometimes physical, pain that seems to have only two options: dying or living with pain.  Neuroendocrine dysregulation may relate to problems of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal, hypothalamic-pituitary-thyroid, or growth hormone systems, areas that can be treated.    Psychosocial factors also play a role in depression. Major life stressors can precipitate depression but normally do not cause clinical depression, except in people predisposed to depression. Once someone has been clinically depressed, she is at higher risk for depression. Women are at higher risk, possibly related to heightened response to daily stressors (emotional sensitivity), higher levels of monoamine oxidase enzyme responsible for degrading neurotransmitters, higher rates of thyroid dysfunction, and the endocrine changes of menstruation and at menopause.    Depression can be categorized as mild, moderate, or severe. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition classifies eight depressive disorders. Five of the depressive disorders are classified according to symptoms. Major depressive disorder is defined as a period lasting two weeks or longer, when a person experiences at least five of nine symptoms where one symptom is depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure in activities. Persistent depressive disorder is a depressed mood that lasts for at least two years in adults, but only one year in children or adolescents. Other specified or unspecified depressive disorders involve symptoms that do not meet the full criteria for another depressive disorder, but cause clinically significant distress or impairment. Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, diagnosed in children, involves severe emotional outbursts and irritable mood. The remaining three depressive disorders are classified by etiology and include premenstrual dysphoric disorder, depressive disorder due to another medical condition, and substance/medication-induced depressive disorder. Adolescents can have any of these disorders.    In the past, people believed children could not suffer with depression. When teens showed signs of depression, it could be mistaken for the moodiness of puberty. Research today reveals that teens may be clinically depressed. Clinical depression may lead to attempts at self-harm. Teenagers may show indicators of depression that are different from adults. Depressed teens may sulk, act out, get in trouble at school, express negativity, and feel misunderstood by others. One study suggests that as many as six students in a classroom may be struggling with depression at any given time.  Teens struggle with school, grades, family, friends, and their identity. Bullying is a serious problem, contributing to teen depression. In 2013, 19.6% of U.S. high school students reported being bullied on school property, whereas 14.8% reported bullying electronically by email, chat rooms, instant messaging, websites, or texting. Sadly, family members, friends, and school personnel may not notice teens who are sad, lonely, and distressed, as they can be invisible or try not to be noticed. These self-inflicted injuries are a cry for help.    The first step to preventing teen suicide is recognizing and treating depression. Effective, early intervention will help reduce the burden and disability of depression. A combination of proactive support, mood elevating medications, and psychotherapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, can effectively treat teen depression.    Depressed teens need to be assessed for how they respond to life, especially stressful situations. Negative thinking patterns and behaviors can be replaced with effective coping strategies, such as good problem solving, helping with motivation to change, building self-esteem, resolving relationship problems, and learning stress management techniques. If chronic pain is a variable, management of pain is important. Other studies additionally support the importance of religion and increased frequency of attendance at religious services as protective factors for depression and suicidal ideation in adolescents.  Adults and peers can help prevent suicide by knowing the risk factors, warning signs, and asking if a teen has been thinking about suicide. It is okay to ask, “Do you ever feel so badly that you think about suicide?” “Do you have a plan to commit suicide or take your life?” “Have you thought about when you would do it (today, tomorrow, next week)?” “Have you thought about what method you would use?” The more specific thinking and plans a person has made, the more serious the risk of suicide. Risk also is greater if warning signs are new and/or have increased, or are possibly related to an anticipated or actual painful event, loss, or change.    Major depression and suicide can be averted if society takes action by careful consideration of the individual's developmental level, identifying high-risk groups, and researching the best evidenced-based interventions to reach the largest numbers.  However, despite the prevalence of depression, the impact on school performance, and lifelong costs, there is little discussion about intervention for depression among school personnel.    Sadly, it is common for someone suffering with depression to go unnoticed. Teen depression continues to be a quiet crisis in schools. To intervene, we need raised awareness of the problem, trained school personnel, and structures for delivering mental health services in schools.    Depression is a quiet crisis, but it need not be. Increased awareness, with the development of needed mental health programs, can reach teens who need help. Working with social media can reach teens who may be suffering in silence. Collaboration with teen support groups and faith organizations can create safe havens for teens. Through a coordinated effort on the part of public and private industry, government agencies, concerned family, friends, schools, and healthcare professionals, we can make a difference in preventing suicide and saving lives.    For a difference to occur, people need to acknowledge the severity of teen depression and the significant risk of suicide. Teens need our attention to make them feel valued, accepted, and secure in the knowledge that people are there to help them. Teens taking their lives is a tragedy.    In conclusion, depression doesn't go naked. It sometimes wears a blue shirt and sits in a corner of a house while clutching a toy car in its little arms, trying hard not to hear the violent words from its parents' mouths.It sometimes wears a school uniform, reluctantly going home, in its bag is a report card that will certainly define its worth just like what it did last year.It sometimes wears a jacket not against the cold but to conceal the bruises in its pale skin.It sometimes wears a pink dress, sometimes, an orange sweater, a white lab coat, a black suit, a yellow cardigan a green basketball jersey.It wears everything— cheap or expensive— everything.But no matter what clothes it uses, there's something that it never forgets to put on. Depression always wears a smile. Lastly, don’t lose another Jane. Reference: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

[beesandwasps]

How To Complain More Effectively, With An Example Of How Not To Do It

This is going to kind of long, so I’m putting it below the fold.

A few days back, I made an extended comment on a post about Prohibition (which you can find here). In passing, since I was bringing up the public health crisis which England faced when distilled liquor was introduced, I mentioned for those who don’t know that distilled liquor was invented by Muslim chemists. I felt that this was necessary to mention because a lot of people on Tumblr are young and often don’t know much history, and might appreciate knowing some context. As far as I know, the actual history of alcohol distillation is not a particularly controversial subject — there are well-attested accounts, trustworthy primary sources, the whole nine yards.

So: sometime today (I was away for most of the afternoon) some idiot DMed me claiming that I only mentioned that because I was a brainwashed PC leftist who wanted to… uh… make a dig at the English, I guess? (I’m still not 100% certain what, exactly, was the point they were trying to make.) In the course of some brief conversation, they came out with the following claims:

It doesn’t matter what actually happened, we shouldn’t credit Muslims with this invention (or, it was implied, anything positive at all)

The idiot I was talking to was Palestinian, so they’re automatically right about Muslims and disagreeing with them means condoning genocide of the Palestinians

“Muslim” is a political stance, not a religion, and it’s right-wing (speaking as an atheist: the latter might be debatable as to a statistical majority across the whole world, but it certainly isn’t just flat-out “true”)

Distilled liquor was independently invented by others, look at vodka! (This claim is actually outright false; even the briefest research shows that vodka was allegedly invented centuries later, and by people who already had distilling equipment — which means that they did not invent the process.)

Mohammed had a (political marriage to a) child bride so he must have been a pedophile and therefore admitting that Muslims have ever done anything at all noteworthy is encouraging pedophilia

There was probably more, but I blocked the idiot before it occurred to me to take screenshots so this is all paraphrased from memory. (Tumblr won’t show DMs from somebody who has been blocked, for which I am mostly thankful.)

The first point that should probably be made is: regardless of whether you think the Muslim invention of distillation deserves celebration or not, trying to deny that it exists because you don’t like it, or don’t like Muslims, is wrong. Wanna tear down statues because the subjects are problematic? Fine! As a Person Currently Living Today, you deserve a voice in who and what our society celebrates — and it’s even okay to say “let’s not have statues which honor anybody because we can’t agree who deserves it”! But when it comes to actual history? We should record what actually happened, to the greatest degree we can. Even in the modern era, with video, there can be ambiguity, but that does not mean it is acceptable to deliberately falsify things. We may never reach the ideal, but we should strive for it as much as we can.

Now, given the weird succession of claims, this was pretty obviously a right-wing wackjob, but once again, a lot of people on this site are young and may not know how to not be like this, so as a public service, let me lay down

A few guidelines for more effective complaining

Think seriously in advance about what you want your complaint to accomplish, and make sure you say it. Do you want an apology? (And do you want it privately or publicly?) A published correction and/or retraction? An acknowledgement of the issue with no correction? Is this a public performance to show how angry you are, not really directed at the recipient? Or are you just letting off some emotional steam and the consequences aren’t important? You should make it clear what you want, and depending on what it is, you should adopt a different tone. It is (or at least can be) okay to be angry! But unless you’re just yelling for the sake of yelling, you probably want “angry but collected” rather than “screaming everything that crosses your mind”. My idiot more or less jumped straight to the latter, and although they never actually said what they wanted me to do about it, you may notice that not only am I not issuing a retraction or an apology, I’m using them as an example of what not to do in a whole dedicated post and calling them an idiot. This is probably not the outcome you want.

Consider, as well, the relative importance of the thing you’re complaining about to the person you’re complaining to. Is this a major focus for them? Something they mentioned in passing? Were they sneering, or showing enthusiasm, or just talking about it? Obviously you may have to make a judgement call to some degree, but it’s important to remember that other people’s focus may differ from yours. If the issue isn’t very important to the other person, you probably want to be less demanding. (Once again: “being less demanding” is not the same as “not being angry”! “I demand that you issue an immediate public apology for saying something as terrible as [fill in the blank]” is a different approach from “I understand you only said [fill in the blank] in passing, but that is actually a terrible thing to say, it made me horribly angry to see such a statement even as an aside, and you should apologize unless you really intended to be that offensive”.)

Be careful about assuming hostility. Sadly, even people who try to be deliberate in all their actions fail to actually do so. Equally sadly, having good intent does not guarantee that you do no harm. (And people can even have good intent and be so completely wrong that they do harm while trying to be helpful.) Obviously, there’s a limit to how much slack you cut people when deciding whether they “meant” what they were doing, but there should be some slack if possible. And no, this does not mean “you should be happy to be a human doormat” — but the fact that you are complaining, all by itself, already demonstrates that you are not.

At a minimum, you should check your facts on Wikipedia. Even Wikipedia might not be enough, but if you’re going to make claims in your complaint which any random person with an Internet connection can disprove in 10 seconds, your complaint invalidates itself immediately. My idiot made the vodka claim, and the instant the search results came up for “vodka invention” I knew that this was a person who was not motivated by any kind of concern for the facts.

Don’t pull in irrelevant things. My idiot was probably doomed to fail anyway, but the minute they brought in “I’m a Palestinian” they were fighting a very definite uphill battle — even without the ridiculous claim of “you can’t disagree in the slightest with me, personally, without condoning genocide”, it’s irrelevant to a question of historical fact! The Muslims invented distilled liquor and it became a serious social problem in England whether my idiot is Palestinian or Saudi or Israeli — or English, for that matter. And the weird claim about pedophilia very definitely sank any hopes the idiot might have of convincing me for good. “Irrelevant” has different meanings in different contexts — had I been saying something about Palestinians, particularly something subjective, then it would have been at least slightly relevant that my particular idiot was Palestinian. Context matters, so consider it.

You don’t have to be polite, but it can be useful — and it’s a good idea not to be the first person to be outright rude. At this point, nobody owes Donald Trump civility — but when people express anger at him in public, remaining polite about it emphasizes how much better they are than he is. (And since it’s clear that he’s incapable of anything like a sincere apology, the only reason anybody would complain to him is as theater.) If you’re anti-TERF, then you don’t owe J. K. Rowling civility any more, because she has already made it clear she doesn’t respect you and doesn’t care what you think. But when there’s ambiguity? If the person is sympathetic then being polite may tip the scales, and if they aren’t it gives them one less excuse to dismiss your complaint. You will have to use your judgement, but if you stay calm and polite, no matter what the outcome is, you will have done a better job of maintaining your dignity, and that is always useful. In addition, in the event that the recipient gets angry and does something in retaliation, rudeness might be legally considered provocation, and leave you and not them on the hook.

Remember that your complaint is public if either you or the recipient wants it, and potentially “forever” like the Internet. If your complaint is a public performance, then this may work in your favor — but if not, remember that no matter how private your complaint is, the recipient might choose to make it public. That might be with benign intent — they’re publishing your complaint so they can apologize — but it might be malicious if publication would make you look bad. This is another good reason to remember the previous point and try to stay polite. (There’s also another factor: if your complaint is public, anybody in the future who looks you up on the Internet will probably find it. I hate to admit it, because it’s unfair, but this is a good reason to pick your battles.) (And this is why I’m not giving the account name of my idiot — they may have been awful, but if they want to remain anonymous that’s up to them.)

Make sure you’ve seen/read/heard enough to know what you’re talking about. This is the only point I can think of which my particular idiot did not fail on, but it’s common enough to deserve a mention. Before you issue a complaint, make sure that it’s justified. All of the following are things I have seen happen (or read about happening): (A) an offensive thing is the focus of a drama, and people issue complaints because it is offensive and should not be shown in a positive light — except that the whole point of the drama was to point out how offensive it was; the complainers only saw the name of it in the first sentence of a plot synopsis and assumed the drama must be defending it. (B) an acronym has multiple very distinct meanings; one of these meanings, which became attached to it after the other(s), is objectionable; the acronym shows up in a text where it obviously has the earlier, unoffensive meaning, but people see it and complain assuming it has the offensive meaning even though that would make absolutely no sense in context. (C) a character in a work of fiction does something which is morally offensive; people complain that this character’s existence is an attempt to defend the action, when in fact the action is used to show how terrible the character is. Try not to be the sort of person who does any of these things.

[trexfish9]

Just Throwing it Out There

   Okay I've had enough and would like to express my opinions and beliefs. I'm just done with people bashing other people for their life choices. I apologize in advance if this long rant offends anyone, as that is not my intention. Of course, sometimes, regardless of what someone says, somebody will take offense in some way. Also, I apologize for the many grammatical mistakes to come.

   So first, I want to talk about body hair. I am just so frustrated when I hear my friends or family members talk about shaving because someone told them to. One, it's not their decision to make and it's just peer pressure. Seriously, unless they're physically throwing you in the shower and shaving your legs, they can't do anything. Also, for the guys out there, if you think a girl having leg hair is gross or weird, then you should never get a girlfriend because girls seriously will not shave for weeks. Plus, ladies, if a guy ever tells you to shave your legs, and you don't want to, look him directly in the eyes and tell him, "If I'm shaving, you're coming with me." If guys don't have to shave, why do girls? I don't understand society's way of thinking half the time. It's completely normal to have body hair, people!! You can't really stop it unless you do laser hair removal!  Also, armpit hair... Honestly, girls, a few prickly armpits aren't going to kill anyone. Also, boys, we don't appreciate long armpit hair because it doesn't help your body odor. Again, if girls can't have armpit hair, why is it okay for guys? I just don't understand? Well anyway just do what you want with your hair, people!! Long, short, or none at all, whatever makes YOU happy!

  Okay next I'll talk about bisexuals and homosexuals. Now this is a touchy subject isn't it? Just know this, Nobody can stop you. You can't help what or who you like, so people should just accept that. If you're a teenager, people might say something like, "You don't know what you want, you're too young." Well isn't that point of being young? Trying out different things, and finding yourself? Honestly, I have no problems seeing homosexual couples kissing, or doing regular couple things. Sometimes it just makes me feel a little awkward because, people are kissing, and sadly, I don't see it that often because they are judged daily for their choices. They also are afraid to show affection in public because of the silent judgement and dirty looks people give them. Again everyone is entitled to their opinion, but really? Don't make people be sad or regret their choice because YOU don't like it. It's not your life, it's not your problem. You guys just be you, okay. 

    Now I'll talk about furries, bronies, etc. okay honestly I am pegged a furry daily because I find ears and tails cute and sometimes, yes it triggers me. Most of the time, I really dont care though. Please just don't talk about your furry or pony porn in public because you're literally someone talking about porn. I don't even care what porn you watch so, why do you want to talk about the porn you watch at school, workplace, restaurant, etc? Is there really a reason? I don't find it amusing, and I'm sure others don't either. Oh and again, you can't help what you like so go for it!! If you like dressing up as a cool animal, or watching My Little Pony, go for it. 

     For you weebs out there, I am a giant weeb. Now most of us don't like being called that, but hey that's apparently the title for us anime lovers, SO OWN IT. Honestly, there are so many of us, we can find friends like us easily. A few of my really good friends are "weebs" and they're amazing. Who cares if you like anime? I love anime and I wouldn't be the person I am today without it, if you can believe that. 

     So last thing I'll talk about is friends, peer pressure, and bullying. Okay, I have amazing friends. They always make me feel loved, and I never feel left out, even though I'm at least two years younger than all of them. We don't all have things in common, which is fine. My friends consist of memers, gamers, koreaboos, weeaboos, low-key furries, cartoon lovers, artist, and cat ladies. I seriously love all of them. If you're in a friend group that doesn't make you feel loved, get out fast. It's seriously horrible and I don’t want any of you guys in a bad friend group. It's better to be a loner for a few years until you find your true friends, than to be in a bad friendship, because you might not find your real friends. Now I sound like I'm writing an essay, sorry. 

     Alright, on to peer pressure. Peer pressure exists in every friendship, I'm not going to lie. Don't participate in peer pressuring someone, especially if it's really stupid. If you're the one being pressured, then don't give in. It's as simple as that. If they're like, "If you don't do it, I won't be your friend." or, "If you can't do this, you're not cool." Well for one, that’s hazing, and that's illegal where I live. Secondly, if people are somewhat threatening you, leave immediately. Just leave that friend group. Don't do anything you don't want to do. 

      Now, bullying. If you're being bullied, this is going to sound cliché, go to a teacher or an adult. They can seriously help you! Bullying just hurts people emotionally and physically. No, bullying hurts people in general, and it needs to stop. Bullying leads to fights, suicide, and sadness. Bullying people is not cool, and I respect those who are bullied that are still alive and keep calm during the situation. I would try to help in some way if I saw someone being bullied, but I've never been in the situation. Now you're probably thinking, "This person has never been in such a situation, so how would they know they'd do that?" Well, I trust in myself and my beliefs enough now to hope that i'd be able to act in some way. Even if it's as small as saying, "Hey stop that," it can help.

     I'm done now, but I hope this encouraged some of you, and changed a few of your opinions on certain subjects. If not, well, you are also entitled to your own opinion.

#Sexism #Homosexual #Furry #Brony #Weeb #Bullying #Friends #Society

[jawira707]

What Emmanuel Macron said about Africa was maybe not the smartest way to put it, it wasn’t only those few senteces though, it was a whole speech.

And not one sentence of it was racist.

And if you fail to see that, you maybe have to reconsider.

Here’s what people imply, but Macron NEVER said:

- it’s the women’s fault

- the women give birth to all these children willingly

- that’s the biggest problem Afirca has

- that’s the only problem Africa has

- We are/ have a superior civilation here and therfore have less children

- etc.

That’s what he said:

“...C’est par le biais d’une gouvernance rigoureuse, la lutte contre la corruption, d’une lutte pour la bonne gouvernance, de la transition démographique réussie. Dans des pays qui font encore 7 enfantements par femme, vous pouvez dépenser des milliards d’euros, vous ne stabilisez rien...”

“It is through rigorous governance, a fight against corruption, a struggle for good governance,  a successful demographic transition. In countries that still have 7 childbirths per woman, you can spend billions of euros, you do not stabilize anything...”

And sadly that’s right.

There are parts of Africa where people who live in extreme poverty have 7 children per woman and that makes the situation even more crucial than it already is.

We’re talking about places where no contraceptives are available (for example the Trump administration made it common again that helping organization from the US who provived the possibilty of an abortion to the people are not longer financially supported by the government), about emergency camps left alone where voilence against women is very numerous.

We have 13 year old getting pregnant, not even knowing what is happening there. Others are pressured to have unprotected sex and there are many, many other factors who play a role.

And true, we have a large part of the society who keeps looking without acting.

And also a big part who wants to help to solve the problem (and there help is aquired). The number of african women dying during childbirth is still extremely high.

There’s so much more to say about this,that it’s impossible to make this short.

Concerning this issue: link1 link 2

We have countries which have been in war for years and the emanzipation, the protection and security of any law is basically non existent.

This is not an opinion. This is a fact.

And it also makes sense that money alone won’t help the situation, because if we have no concrete local management there, it ends up in all the wrong places.

I think it’s ridiculous to call somebody a racist for this. In contrary. If we pretend this problem is non existing, we won’t help anyone.

Here are a few other things Emmanuel Macron actually said too in his speech:

“(...)Trafic de drogue, trafic humain, trafique de bien culturel et c’est le fondamentalisme violent du terrorisme qui fait tout cela. Tout cela mélangé, crée les difficultés de l’Afrique. En même temps nous avons des pays qui réussissent formidablement, un taux de croissance extraordinaire et qui fait que l’Afrique est une terre d’opportunité. Si nous voulons des réponses cohérentes à l’Afrique et aux problèmes africains, nous devons développer une série de politiques qui sont bien plus sophistiquées qu’un plan simple plan Marshall et des milliards décaissés. Partout où le secteur privé peut s’impliquer, il doit s’impliquer et nous devons l’y orienter. Nous sommes d’accord avec la banque mondiale en matière d’infrastructures essentielles, d’éducation, de santé. Là il y a un rôle pour le financement public et c’est dans ce cadre que nous devons agir. C’est de notre responsabilité.En matière de sécurité, nous devons agir en lien avec les organisations régionales africaines (..)” this framework that we must act. It is our responsibility.With regard to security, we must act in liith the World Bank on essential infrastructure, education and health. There is a role for public funding and it is within this framework that we must act. It is our responsibility.With regard to security, we must act in liaison with African regional organizations (...) "

"(...) Drug trafficking, human trafficking, trafficking in cultural property and it is the violent fundamentalism of terrorism that does all this. All this mixed up, creates the difficulties of Africa. At the same time we have tremendously successful countries, an extraordinary growth rate, which makes Africa a land of opportunity. If we want coherent responses to Africa and African problems, we must develop a series of policies that are far more sophisticated than a simple plan Marshall plan and billions disbursed. Wherever the private sector can get involved, it has to get involved and we have to get it there. We agree with the World Bank on essential infrastructure, education and health. There is a role for public funding and it is within this framework that we must act. It is our responsibility.With regard to security, we must act in liaison with African regional organizations (...) "

“(..)Le plan de cette transformation que nous devons conduire ensemble doit tenir compte des spécificités africaines par et avec les chefs d’États africains. C’est un plan qui doit prendre en compte nos propres engagements sur l’ensemble des chantiers que je viens d’évoquer, mieux associer public et privé; et il doit se faire parfois plus régional et même national(..)”

“The plan of this transformation that we must conduct together must take into account the African specificities by and with African Heads of State. It is a plan that must take into account our own commitments on all the projects I have just mentioned, better associate public and private; And it must sometimes be more regional and even national.”

Link for whole speech: http://www.afrikipresse.fr/international/ces-verites-de-macron-sur-l-afrique-qui-derangent-afrikipresse-de-retour-du-g20-a-hambourg

So before judging, before calling anyone racist, before insulting people, even people who actually want to help, maybe reconsider a bit.

Don’t use one sentence to built up your opinion about someone or anyone’s ideas.

Bc if you do, you will always trip. And you will end up burning just yourself.

#guys I don't have the time #but it had to be #emmanuel macron #L'Afrique #africa #Afrika #speech #macron #france #racism #politics

[theaveragekenyan]

And Justice For All...

Cameroon 0 – England 3.

I’m a big believer in, that no matter whatever happens within a football game, the above result will be the only long lasting importance. To the real purists, it can be distilled even further to simply, England beat Cameroon, verbatim.

The Women’s World Cup 2019 will be no different to any other major Footballing competition, they come, they go.

That said, the game between Cameroon and England was a real treat. The football game was excellent, but the actions of the Cameroonian players during the game was by far the best entertainment. They cried, they argued, they spat, they threatened careers, they looked silly and yet, amongst all of this, they played some nice football.

This is what former USA footballer, Hope Solo, had to say.

“This Cameroon team, they don't have the resources. They don't have the quality coaching in their country, they don't have the experience like England or somebody like Phil Neville. We have to try and understand that. Perhaps they weren't even told about the rules, the laws of the game and the evolution of the game. So, your heart has to go out a little bit to this Cameroon side. They played with emotions and brought this emotion to the tournament. As much as we want to see a little bit more class from Cameroon, they did bring that beautiful emotion and packed this entire stadium, You have to look at it both ways”

It’s such a diplomatic way of looking at the game, and largely I agree with it, however, just which resources are required to educate a football team about spitting, elbowing, shoving the ref, the off-side rule? Let’s not even go there with the stereotypical view that women don’t understand the off-side rule, many football fans don’t understand the rule. It is a rule that whichever way is tweaked, in an attempt to make it easier to implement, will mutate into something more complex.

“Perhaps they weren't even told about the rules, the laws of the game and the evolution of the game” Whilst the evolution of the game right now is VAR, the introduction of the off-side rule came in 1863. Every decision made by VAR concerning the off-side rule was 100% accurate.  

The Cameroon team were visibly shaken by the off-side rulings, crying, arguing with the officials, huddling together in the center circle, claiming FIFA is racist, essentially the team “blew their shit” and wasn’t prepared to accept a decision go against them. It was if they were not prepared to accept the rules, as if there was perhaps another way to get the decision overturned, sadly that option was not available to them.

I can’t say it was a macrocosm of African life, because I haven’t lived within enough African cultures to speak for the whole continent, but the Cameroonian Ladies attitudes definitely resonated as far as Kenya.

The petulance displayed by the Cameroon team throughout the game made me draw direct comparisons to how the average Kenyan lives life. A life that perhaps hasn’t been told about the rules, laws and evolution of life, or as more than likely, chooses to deliberately ignore them.

Upon on your first arrival to Kenya you’ll hear very quickly about authority and justice, usually from the driver as you exit the airport into Nairobi.

Every single Kenyan knows just how corrupt their country is, and yes, whilst they are all utterly ashamed and embarrassed about the ‘C’ word, we are all fundamentally enslaved by the “system”.

Recently, I’ve heard at least five friends or associates tell me of their experiences of refusing to pay Tea Tax, and how now, each and every one of them says, that will be the last time they fight the system, next time they’ll just pay the bribe.  

It took me a while to learn how to deal with “The Police” here and certainly, my first initial reaction with the police was to challenge. Why have I been stopped? I’ve done nothing wrong. Of course, that’s a perfectly natural way for everybody to act, well, not in Kenya as it turns out, there can always be something “wrong” and you’re guilty until proven guilty.

Growing up in the UK you become aware of your rights from an early age, you develop and become armed with a robust set of civil rights and unless you’ve been hacking the matrix, you’ll be able to exercise them.

Most offences you are likely to stand accused of here will be similar to an episode of Scooby-Doo, they’ll be vague, tenuous and carry little legal credibility. Had the criminals, that Freddie, Velma and Daphne caught, possessed any sense, they could have switched the legal tables around and had the Magical Mystery Bus Crew up for Trespassing, Criminal Damage, GBH, Slander, False Imprisonment, Zoinks, I doubt they even had a Dog License.

So, with this in mind, my advice when confronted by a member of the Kenyan Police Force is to be cooperative, dumb and submissive…ok mainly dumb and submissive. Act like you’re stupid, but very friendly…you know, a very stupid friendly person, we all know one of them. Act respectfully, but perhaps as if you’ve just left hospital after being awoken from a 12 year coma. Do NOT let the officer know that you understand how the road works or even what a car does.

Sorry, how presumptuous, I’ve forgotten to say, the only time you will ever come into contact with a police officer is whilst in a car.

Just answer every question you are asked, make no sub-plots, second guesses, or even worse still, fall into the trap of attempting to translate what the officer is saying into any western logic, quotes from your Highway Code are not going to work.

“But Sir, there is no sign to obey?” or “The white solid line?…errrr which white solid line are you talking about?” or “Could you please show me the exact speed I was traveling at?” that type of smart-ass clever clogs logic ain’t gonna fly, just stick to “oh” “ok” and “sorry”.

Of course, answer where you are from, respond with where you are going and NO, you don’t know why Kenyan’s are not allowed to drive on International Driving Licenses, answering “because very few Kenyans know how to drive” is not going to lighten the mood.  Just stick to the basics as listed, with possibly a “terribly sorry, I’ll never drive again” or “I will speak to God as soon as I get home” In most cases, if your car has insurance, your brake lights work and you’ve acted out your best Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber role, then you will be asked to continue your journey without any hassle.

It’s just that, when it comes to any level of confusion or reasonable doubt, that is when PC Chai will strike. Although there are much needed and continuing road upgrades occurring all over Kenya right now, many of the roads haven’t evolved well and road designation hasn’t been respected, so over time, there have been many glitches appear. When I say glitches, I mean in particular, junctions that are tenuous with their intended execution. There will be a sign missing, a marking lost, an invisible lane and this is where you’ll always find a cop waiting to pounce upon any vulnerability.

Also, whenever you’re stopped by a cop, you’d best hope it’s a male specimen. If you get a female cop you are going to jail. I can only assume that sometime in the 1990’s when women began to become more mainstream on the beat in Kenya, the then Inspector General found a book called “The Essential Guide to being a Female Officer in the East German Stasi” and based his whole outlook for Women in the KPS upon that. The Women Officers have zero personality, zero compassion, zero smile, they are Lucifer in fancy dress. It’s best to just plead the 5thamendment and demand to speak to your Ambassador immediately, good luck.

The Kenyan Police Service is now so widely and openly corrupt it’s normal. Chat to any Kenyan, Listen to any Church Service, look on any Kenyan News-site, watch Kenyan News TV, read Kenyan Transport Twitter Feeds @Ma3Route @KenyanTraffic and you’ll see video footage and photographs of cops taking bribes, cops about to be bribed or cops looking for bribes. It’s common knowledge and I’m yet to hear of a sustained plan to tackle it.

I’m not advocating for 1984, but to tackle the “system” would mean Kenyan’s being patrolled by VAR equivalents such as Speed Cameras, Average Speed Checks, Regulated Bus Lanes, Traffic Light Enforcement Cameras, Emission Detectors or even far more desirable a credible Police service. Sadly though any of that would infuriate the average Kenyan. Imagine, an automated justice system able to bypass the cops and not be swayed with a pithy excuse or any bribe or even a decent cop issuing a deserved fine, this is not 1984 just 2019.

Put simply, this would cause civil-war. There would be protests, riots, burning tyre’s (the most symbolic of all African protestation instruments), all of the cameras would be destroyed and all because the average Kenyan does not want to understand the rules, ergo the “system’ continues.

Let me be clear, It’s not just the Kenyan Police Service blighted by the “C” word, unfortunately the whole fabric of society has been riddled with the disease. The Kenyan President is very vocal in his “War on Corruption” and I hope he maintains the great work, however, to me, it still feels like the Anti-Corruption Agency has been given a watering can to put out an exploded nuclear power plant. 

For now though, let’s not judge Women’s football on one game, I just wish we could say the same about Kenya. 

[ukrainianwomenonline]

Things that Ukrainian Ladies Want You to Know (But Won’t Tell You)

A lot of successful guys haven’t figured ladies out, not because they aren’t desirable guys, but because they do not have a good understanding of female psychology. Apparently, it’s hard to understand women sometimes, as women do not necessarily mean what they say all the time. I’m going to share some helpful tips with you so you can read Ukrainian ladies like an open book.

Surprisingly, women’s negative wordscan be a way to ask for your affection.

Sometimes a woman might say something along the lines of, “That’s enough. Should we break up?” Well, it doesn’t necessarily mean she actually wants to break up with her boyfriend. It’s only a way to ask for his attention.

Sadly, male language and female language are too different. So, when a guy hears “break up”, in his subconscious mind, he is getting ready for a real breakup. Yet that’s not his girlfriend actually wants.

I know that’s certainly not the best way to ask for more love, but many women operate like that. The good news is most Ukrainian ladies do not act like that! But if one of them operates in that way, you would identify this pattern immediately. 😉

A woman is only implying a real breakup when her behavior and action show you true signs of a breakup. For instance, she is seeing another guy; she is looking for a new apartment; she is emotionally distant. Otherwise, she is probably just asking for your attention, affection and love& hoping you’ll like her more.

Your love for a lady is measured by your investment in this relationship.

A confident woman from Ukraine won’t invest in you simply based on how much she likes you. In fact, she tends to invest in you based on how much you actually invest in her!

That is to say, your love / affection is measured by how much you invest in this romantic relationship. Investing in this relationship may include taking her out for dinner dates, spending more time with her, giving her presents, taking her overseas for a holiday, and so on.

Remember: saying nice things to your lady is only a sign of investment which isn’t necessarily a legit investment. Most switched-on ladies from Ukraine know the difference between signs of investment and real investment. 😊 Trust me. If you treat your lady right, she will treat you really well! That’s Law of Reciprocity.

Liking her isn’t enough; a real woman wants you to respect her as well.

Liking someone is different from respecting someone, okay? You may like somebody a lot, yet you don’t necessarily respect that person in every way. This is not uncommon.

An intelligent Ukrainian woman wouldn’t tolerate bad behavior because she clearly has options and lives in abundance. So, if you’d like to keep your girlfriend, you should respect her at all times.

An elegant lady expects you to teach her things and give her good experiences.

Because women are less competitive, they like to learn from other people in a modest way. Indeed, most women aren’t afraid of admitting that they do not know everything. By contrast, most men are dominated by their ego and tend to compete with each other.

If you teach your Ukrainian girlfriend things, your value becomes higher in her opinion. For example, perhaps you understand psychology well, you may teach her something in this regard. Or perhaps you know wealth creation well, definitely teach her a thing or two! Your lady will appreciate your contribution, wisdom and knowledge.

Besides, you can give her positive experiences in life as well. For instance, you can take her to Hawaii for a holiday and create some unforgettable memories together! That is an effective way to build a genuine emotional connection with a lady.

A feminine woman wants a man with vision.

Visionless guys are so boring. In modern-day society, there are many guys working on their fashion and grooming, but they still can’t attract the right women. Truthfully, their real issue is not lack of physical attractiveness. Their real problem is lack of vision.

If you look very handsome, you will attract some women. Yet if you would like to date a high-value woman, looking handsome is far from enough. You have to have breadth of vision as high-value ladies prefer strongmen with vision.

Your blueprint provides your Ukrainian lady with confidence in this relationship, hope for the future and empowerment in the dynamics. This definitely keeps her attracted to you in the long term.

Most Ukrainian brides prefer men with a very stable personality.

When you observe guys who are married to high-value ladies, you may realize that these guys have a very stable personality, meaning they do not freak out. Indeed, these men do not have lots of highs and lows emotionally as they remain calm all the time.

As a lady witnesses your tremendous highs, she may figure out that you can also have serious lows, too. Basically, a stable personality leads to a peaceful and sustainable relationship that is drama-free!

Ladies from Ukraine expect their men to spend quality time with them and be fully present.

Some guys say they have given their wives lots of time. However, their wives are still upset. But when you look at how these men actually spend time with their wives, you will know why their wives are unhappy: the man arrives home and turns on TV or looks at his phone. Although only this guy and his wife are at home throughout the evening, they don’t even have any real communication. You don’t want to be that guy!

A high-value woman’s attractiveness is derived from her personality.

Beauty is very common; nevertheless, a great personality is relatively rare.

A truly great personality shows true confidence from within, meaning this woman does not need external validation at all.

This isn’t merely about surface-level confidence that can be easily faked. It’s not really about her lifestyle confidence either. It’s more about a woman’s core confidence, i.e. no matter what happens, this lady knows her value and loves herself unconditionally.

When you are dating such a confident woman, it’s hard to offend her or upset her because she isn’t looking for validation or reassurance from you.

As she is truly confident, she dares to be very sweet and gentle to you! Does that make sense?

A positive mindset makes a woman more attractive.

When a lady complains about her weight and height, you start to notice her weight and height, right?

But before this lady told you what bothers her, you probably thought she was an extremely attractive woman. The fact that this lady complains about her looks merely reminds herself (and her date) that she isn’t desirable enough. Remember: A high-value woman with core confidence wouldn’t worry about that. Core confidence leads to body confidence, too!

“An empowered and enlightened woman from Ukraine has a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. That’s why you should totally marry a high-value woman with core confidence, strength and a great personality.”

Ukraine Brides Agency Blog https://ift.tt/2Xw2SHO

#IFTTT #Ukraine Brides Agency Blog

[insession-io]

Tainted By Association, What Does This Tell Us About Ethics?

When I first heard the allegations of serial sexual misconduct against the American folk-rock singer Ryan Adams earlier this year – that he had emotionally and psychologically abused several women and underage girls, using his status in the music industry as leverage – I didn’t want to believe it. Yet this desire to not-believe strongly preceded any acquaintance I had with the actual facts. Indeed – and as I am now ashamed to admit – I initially read the facts with great skepticism, hoping that they were wrong. Only with effort have I forced myself to put aside my initial disbelief, and consider things impartially, making a more balanced assessment. Why?

One answer comes from feminist theory. As a man who has been raised in a male-dominated society, one that tends to privilege the status and testimony of men, and to cast aspersions on those of women – most especially when it comes to issues of sex – I am ideologically conditioned to react this way. Sadly, I suspect there is much truth in this. But it is not the only explanation in play. Another consideration is that I didn’t want Adams to be guilty because I like his music. And the worry that I had – initially, without even realising it – was that, if Adams is indeed guilty, then I won’t be able to enjoy his music any more. And I don’t want that to be the case. Hence, I initially read the accusations against Adams with skepticism, precisely because I (subconsciously) wanted to protect my future enjoyment of his records.

It is not uncommon to find that one’s enjoyment of something is irrevocably damaged if that thing turns out to be closely connected to somebody who has committed serious wrongs. Many people will now feel deeply uncomfortable watching films associated with Harvey Weinstein. Similarly, critically acclaimed movies starring Kevin Spacey – even if made long before any accusation of wrongdoing was levelled against him – will no longer seem the obvious choices for Saturday night viewing that they once were. And this is not simply because we want to take a moral stand against Weinstein or Spacey (though that might certainly be true). It is because we feel that the films themselves are tainted.

But this is odd. A film or TV show, after all, is a thing ultimately independent of the private actions of the actors or producers who happened to help make it. And yet one seems to bleed inexorably into the other. Once you know the charges levelled against Weinstein, you can’t simply carry on watching his films as you did before. The same, I fear, will be true of Adams’s music if it turns out that he is as bad as they say. Many people are currently experiencing precisely such anxiety regarding the music of Michael Jackson, given the latest and most distressing of the allegations made against him.

What is going on here? It is not simply the old, harsh truth that good things can come from bad people. By all accounts, the 18th-century philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau was a pretty unpleasant character. He fell out with everybody, let down most of those who trusted him, and thought it fit to write a book on education despite abandoning many of his own children to orphanages. On the other hand, he was the author of some of the greatest works of philosophy ever written. Similarly, according to the Pulitzer-winning biography The Years of Lyndon Johnson (1982) by Robert A Caro, the 36th president of the United States was a bullying, lying, power-crazed sociopath, who literally stole a Senate election on his way to the highest office. Then again, Johnson also passed the Civil Rights Act.

Life is complicated; not all good things harmonise.

The fact that good things can come from bad people is a separate issue from the fact that knowledge of somebody – or something – having done a bad thing can deeply affect how we view the status of the thing itself. Take a simple but effective example, borrowed from the philosopher Simon Blackburn’s recent paper on this topic. Imagine I invite you over to dinner and, while carving the roast, I casually mention that this is the very knife that the assassin used to murder my wife and children. Would you still be comfortable eating the slice of beef I’ve just plopped on to your plate? And it can work in the other direction, too. Imagine I have a room filled with 20 Fender guitars. I tell you that you can have any of them you like – but one of them was the very guitar that Jimi Hendrix used during his last performance! I bet I know which one you’ll pick, whether you want to keep it for yourself or quickly take it to auction.

Sometimes our feelings over these matters can run very high indeed, becoming full-blown moral sentiments. Imagine a sailor who, shipwrecked and clinging to a plank for three days, finally washes up on shore. Yet the first thing he does is burn the plank that saved his life. Does he not seem to do something wrong? Or consider the case of a man whose son is killed by a motorcyclist, who is sent to jail but remains in possession of the motorbike. After being released, the motorcyclist begins riding the bike again. But the father, outraged, takes a sledgehammer to the vehicle. Prosecuted for criminal damage, the father is given only a negligible sentence by the judge. We all understand why – and we approve.

Indeed, for many centuries, English common law recognised the category of the ‘deodand’, or an object that was implicated in a human death, such as a cart, a boat, a stone or a tree. The deodand had to be forfeited to the authorities, and its value would then equal the compensation awarded by the courts to the victims’ families. But this practice was abolished in the 1840s, when railway companies lobbied hard to stop their expensive steam trains being used to set the value of awards in the growing number of train-fatality cases. Although this particular compensation mechanism is no longer legal practice, the basic idea of the deodand still makes sense to us.

The assassin’s knife is still perfectly good as a knife. Why be so upset about my using it tonight?

Yet, when you think about it, this is rather strange. After all, it is simply a matter of luck that these particular objects have these particular histories. The assassin could well have used her own knife, or picked a different knife from the drawer. But she picked this knife – and so this knife is now the one that disturbs us. Hendrix (let us suppose) could have picked any of the available Fenders in the shop that day, he just happened to favour that one – and so now that one is special. The examples of Adams, Spacey and Weinstein fit the pattern, too. How come we extend our discomfort backwards, to cover artistic products associated with them from a time when they themselves were not (let us suppose) morally compromised? Weinstein is only one producer among many in Hollywood. Why is his financing of a film once upon a time – when it could easily have been someone else – enough to make us dislike that film today?

This is genuinely puzzling. After all, the job of a knife is simply to cut things. The knife that the assassin used is still perfectly good as a knife. So why be so upset about my using it tonight? Likewise, The Usual Suspects (1995) did not suddenly become a worse film – indeed, it didn’t change at all – the moment the accusations against Spacey were made public. So why not re-watch that old DVD when you get home? The Hendrix guitar is (let us suppose) no better as a guitar than any other that Fender produced that year; they all sound roughly the same when played well. So why is Hendrix’s guitar special? It seems rather mysterious.

Why does bare luck make such a difference to how we feel? Are we simply irrational when it comes to such matters? Perhaps not – and perhaps because asking about whether it is rational for us to have these luck-dependent aversions and attractions is not the right way to think about what is going on.

The best discussion of why we react in these varying – and perplexing – ways comes from the 18th-century Scottish Enlightenment thinker Adam Smith. Nowadays much more likely to be known (somewhat misleadingly) as the ‘father of economics’, Smith was employed as professor of moral philosophy at the University of Glasgow for around 12 years, and hence spent much of his time teaching and writing on such matters. Indeed, his first book – The Theory of Moral Sentiments (1759) – puts forward not just the earliest sustained discussion of the issue of what philosophers now call ‘moral luck’, but one of its most compelling evaluations.

Smith’s discussion didn’t just cover objects or people, and the taint that can be associated with them because of their good or bad histories. It also covered the irregularity of our responses to outcomes that are heavily affected by luck. Imagine the following case: I carelessly throw a brick off the top of a building, but fortunately it doesn’t hit anybody, and shatters harmlessly on the pavement below. You’re likely to think that I’m a bad and irresponsible person, and deserve to be admonished accordingly. But you’ll probably also think that the matter should end there. Now vary the scenario: imagine that the brick does hit somebody, and kills them. The likelihood is that you will now think that I deserve much more in the way of blame, and indeed of punishment. (Prison seems a perhaps not unreasonable response.)

Let us suppose that my motivations – eg, sheer indifference to the safety of others – and my actions – chucking a brick without looking – are identical in both cases. Why, Smith asked, do we feel that the latter is so much worse than the former? It was, after all, simply a matter of luck that somebody walked along at that precise moment, got hit by the brick, and died. (It works in the other direction, too: we would surely feel it too harsh to send a person to prison simply because the brick might have hit a passerby, when in fact it didn’t.)

The underlying intention determines whether we approve of an act, not its consequences alone.

Yet this kind of scenario led to a puzzle. Smith thought it undeniable that we assess the morality of actions not by their actual consequences, but by the intentions of the agent who brings them about. To see that this is indeed true, consider the following example. Imagine that you see me rescue a cat from a tree. When I get to the ground, the cat wriggles free and scurries away. Assuming that my intention was to save the cat, you’ll likely think that I did a good thing. But what if you now find out that my intention was to barbeque the cat for dinner? In both cases, the consequences are the same – the cat is brought down from the tree, wriggles free, and runs away. Yet your evaluation of the morality of the act will shift markedly once you learn of my culinary intentions. Try any example you like, and you’ll get the same result: it’s the underlying intention that determines whether or not we approve of an act, not the consequences of the act alone.

For Smith, it is a truism that we assign different moral weight to intentions, not to consequences, and one that nobody will deny, at least when it comes to philosophical theory. Nonetheless, in practice, we often find ourselves heavily swayed by consequences even when, on the face of it, those consequences shouldn’t matter. Take the brick-throwing example again. In both cases, my intention was bad, because in throwing the brick I showed callous disregard for the safety of others. In theory, then, I am equally culpable whatever the outcome, at least if intentions are supposed to be what counts. But, in practice, we feel far more strongly in the case where the brick does hit somebody. So consequences do matter after all – even though moral philosophers tend to think that it’s only intentions that should matter.

For this reason, Smith thought that our moral sentiments in such cases were ‘irregular’. Why do we respond so differently to consequences that have bad outcomes, when those outcomes are purely a matter of luck? Smith confessed that he did not know why we are psychologically rigged up this way. Here he hit what he took to be explanatory bedrock, and simply assigned this ‘irregularity’ to the workings of ‘nature’, for which he could give no further explanation. (We, living after Charles Darwin, might want to posit an evolutionary story – but that was something Smith had no access to.) Nonetheless, Smith was confident that, although he could not explain why we are like this, on balance we should nonetheless be grateful that we are indeed rigged up this way.

The first reason Smith gave for why it is good that we are this way is that if, in practice, we really did go around judging everybody solely by their intentions, and not by the actual consequence of their actions, life would be unliveable. We would spend all our time prying into people’s secret motivations, fearing that others were prying into ours, and finding ourselves literally on trial for committing thought crimes. This, Smith thought, might be appropriate for God at the final judgment – but it would be hell on Earth if applied to mortal justice.

Second, it is quite useful that we generally tend to be bothered about actual consequences, rather than just underlying intentions. It’s all very well and good if you intended to get me a birthday present – but if you didn’t actually manage to do so, my gratitude is markedly lessened. This will seem somewhat unfair if the reason you didn’t get me a present is because you fell grievously ill. Your intention, after all, was good. It will seem much less unfair, however, if the reason is simply that your desire to sit around watching Netflix in your underpants was stronger than your desire to go to the shops. We tend to be both more grateful for good consequences and more resentful about bad ones, which is clearly socially useful. On account of the fact that you have to actually do the good thing to get the praise – and equally, you have to actually do the bad thing to get the punishment – people are more likely to follow through on their good, and not act upon their bad, intentions. This is a highly welcome feature of social existence, all things considered.

The ‘irregularity’ of our sentiments encourages us to respect the sanctity of other persons.

Finally, and perhaps most interestingly of all, Smith thought that there was a special effect of the ‘irregularity’ of our sentiments: it predisposed us to be careful around other people. One last example: imagine you are walking along a path above a cliff, and you accidentally dislodge a boulder, which crashes down and kills the rock-climber below. You didn’t mean to do this – it was an accident! But the fact that you did do it matters enormously. You will be blamed by others, and will likely blame yourself too. (‘Why didn’t I look where I was going?!’) But the fact that we feel ourselves responsible even for the things that we didn’t mean to do is, Smith thinks, a very useful and desirable state of affairs, insofar as it encourages us to take care when we are acting in ways that could (inadvertently) harm others. Precisely because you know you’ll rightly be held responsible for the death of people below you, even if you only accidentally knock a rock onto them, you’re more inclined to take care where you tread when you go for a clifftop stroll. As Smith put it, the ‘irregularity’ of our sentiments in this regard encourages us to respect the sanctity of other persons:

The happiness of every innocent man is, in the same manner, rendered holy, consecrated, and hedged round against the approach of every other man; not to be wantonly trod upon, not even to be, in any respect, ignorantly and involuntarily violated, without requiring some expiation, some atonement in proportion to the greatness of such undesigned violation.

What has this got to do with the assassin’s knife, the guitar used by Hendrix, or the films that Spacey starred in? Like Smith, I cannot explain why our psychologies tend to transfer the guilt of an agent, or the history of what an object was used for, on to the past or future status of a thing itself. They apparently just do. But following Smith, this seems to be a very desirable state of affairs, one that we should not want to do without. It is good that we feel aversion to artifacts (be they physical objects, films, records or whatever) associated with sex crimes, murders and other horrors – even if this is a matter of sheer luck or coincidence – because this fosters in us not only an aversion to those sorts of crimes, but an affirmation of the sanctity of the individuals who are the victims of them. In turn, that makes most of us less likely to engage in evil acts ourselves. Perhaps even more importantly, it makes us less likely to remain indifferent even when we are not ourselves directly affected by injustices perpetrated against others. Instead, we come to see innocent people as sacred, and to be protected from the predations and depredations of those who would harm them. In this way, our moral world is more tightly knitted together.

As Smith was at pains to point out, we are psychologically complex creatures, capable of sharing each other’s emotions, and forming intricate moral bonds accordingly. Sometimes that process can get messed up, working itself out back to front – as, for example, when I reflexively take the side of Ryan Adams because I like his music and want to protect my future enjoyment of it. (Fortunately, this sort of back-to-front reaction can be corrected by reflection, at least by those willing to undertake it.) But, typically, the process works for the greater good. A world in which people did not recoil in horror at my use of the assassin’s knife to carve dinner, or in which watching The Usual Suspects was not considered a suspect choice in light of the allegations against Spacey – such a world would certainly be a worse place.

In all of this, there is an important lesson for moral philosophy. For some time now, ethical theory has been dominated by two rival camps. Consequentialists, who think that morality is primarily about maximising some approved set of outcomes, and deontologists, who think that morality is primarily about rules, duties and obligations. These two opposed outlooks, with all their innumerable variations, have been duking it out for well over a century. But neither can make much sense of the importance of anything that has been written above. And yet, the cases of ‘moral luck’ that I have discussed are not minor side issues, or trivial diversions, but go to the heart of our everyday, as well as some of our deepest moral experiences. Adam Smith saw this very well. We stand to learn a great deal from his emphasis not on calculating consequences or fulfilling obligations, but on human psychology and the moral sentiments that structure our ethical lives.

Paul Sagar is a lecturer in political theory in the department of political economy, King’s College London. He is the author of The Opinion of Mankind: Sociability and the Theory of the State from Hobbes to Smith (2018).

Kathryn McNeer, LPC specializes in Couples Counseling Dallas with her sound, practical and sincere advice. Kathryn's areas of focus include individual counseling, relationship and couples counseling Dallas. Kathryn has helped countless individuals find their way through life's inevitable transitions; especially that tricky patch of life known as "the mid life crisis." Kathryn's solution-focused, no- nonsense counseling works wonders for men and women in the midst of feeling, "stuck," or "unhappy." Kathryn believes her fresh perspective allows her clients find the better days that are ahead. When working with couples, it is Kathryn's direct yet non-judgmental approach that helps determine which patterns are holding them back and then helps them establish new, more productive patterns. Kathryn draws from Gottman and Cognitive behavioral therapy. When appropriate Kathryn works with couples on trust, intimacy, forgiveness, and communication.

[marymosley]

Dowry: The Goose with the Golden Eggs

“I thought that if lokas existed at all, good women would surely go to one where men were not allowed so they could be finally free of male demands.”-These are the words of Panchali aka Draupadi in Mahabharata. This sentence clearly shows the plight of women in older days. From the time immemorial, women have been submissive to men. Practices like sati and child marriage were prevalent in a country where Saraswati, Lakshmi and Parvati are the three main goddesses of knowledge, money and power.

After independence, a wave of change saturated different classes of Indian culture and significantly amended their thoughts, propensities and traditions. One of the striking changes in Indian Social life is in the status of ladies. Ladies began leaving their draperies and started going to schools and universities and began asserting their rights yet they are being suppressed in the general public on account of an abhorrent practice called dowry which is responsible for all other violence against women like sexual slavery within marriage, infanticide, feticides, murders, suicides, demand of dowry, dowry-death, dowry burning etc.

Various laws have been established every now and then to raise the status of women yet the crime rate is still high: –

“Crimes against women increased 34 percent over the last four years to 2015, with cruelty by husbands and relatives being the most widely reported crime, according to the latest data from the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB). The rate of crime against women – defined as crimes reported divided by women population – has gone up from 41.7 to 53.9 between 2012 and 2015.”[1]

Sadly, awareness and education, has not helped to palliate the situation. In fact, families of people who are better educated, especially those with foreign degrees want the fattest gold laying goose and when the goose stop laying the eggs then they are tormented physically, mentally and economically sometimes to the verge that they take their own lives just to escape from the greedy clutches of the in-laws and husbands. Value of the girl has nothing to do in the finality of the marriage proposition; dowry is the first and final thought for a marriage union. One may characterize this custom as the unchallenged thought that a girl’s family is substandard to the boy’s family. Therefore, they should be on their best conduct and offer sumptuous “gifts” to satisfy the boy’s family. This principle is so deep-rooted in the minds of Indians, they either destroy themselves monetarily to pay the suitable cost of the picked groom, or annihilate the possibility of this money related weight by female feticide/infanticide. This exploitative arrangement of necessity for dowry, regard and subjugation, is one of the major contributing elements thwarting the development of the Indian culture where being a lady is still seen synonymous to being a burden.

Various laws have been brought in action to curb the menace but have turned out to be a sham. Dowry Prohibition Act has been a major failure as it doesn’t stop the problem of dowry but tells how to take dowry and go around it because of the loopholes it inhibits. For ex- s.6 of the act provides that the individual taking dowry needs to give it to the bride within 3 months of marriage which can be very easily exhorted from the girl’s family and later escaped from. However, with the ascent in modernization, training, monetary security and the freshly discovered freedom the radical women’s activist has made 498A and dowry prohibition laws a weapon in her reach. Numerous helpless husbands and relatives have progressed toward becoming casualties of their wrathful daughters-in-law. It is further contended by many that in most cases where one is accused under s.498-A usually turn out to be false, blackmailing endeavors by the wife and her relatives when faced with a strained marriage. The problem of abuse under s.498A, IPC and s.304B is increasing day by day.

The legitimacy or truth of assertions will be demonstrated later (at times decades later), however until at that point, it is viewed as that whatever a woman has affirmed is the total truth. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) information clearly states in most cases U/s.498A, the conviction rate is just 13%, and pendency stays as high as 89%. Cases are recorded and stay pending in the court for a long time. Yet, all the accused are to be captured when the case is documented, as this section of the IPC is non-bailable, and only a court can concede bail to them, only on producing sureties of required amount. This arrest makes s.498A the most startling among other family laws, and makes it a criminal case.

InSushil Kumar Sharma v. UOI & others[2], the Apex Court observed the problem and stated, “The object of these provisions is to prevent and control the menace of Dowry.  But, many instances have come to light where the complaints are not bona fide and have been filed with oblique motive…. Merely because these provisions are constitutional and intra vires, does not give a license to unscrupulous persons to wreck personal vendetta or unleash harassment… But, by misuse of the provisions a new legal terrorism can be unleashed. The provisions are intended to be used a shield and not an assassin’s weapon. “

The police have an exceptionally critical part to play, with its examination control. It unquestionably brings up an issue that, why, after their watchful examination, such a low number of accused are sentenced. But, they will undoubtedly do this, because of the law requirement, which considers that whatever a lady has expressed is obvious truth. They even can’t decline to enlist a FIR. Afterward, the court additionally takes a similar technique when the accused applies for a bail or a stay on the arrest. The courts deny bail on the basis of prima facie allegations confirming the probability of crime happening.

In the event that somebody needs to be guaranteed of arrest of accused, the assertions are to be surrounded such that the court effectively observes the likelihood that the crime has happened prima facie. The measure of harassment that the accused and his family confront is indescribable. The disgrace of being captured, the dread of the police, who regard the accused as though they have carried out a merciless crime, and the blackmail that occurs in the process makes numerous breaks and confer suicide.

The key feature of this horrendous dowry problem, however, is that givers detest the practice of dowry but they either silently accept it or even like it when it comes to receiving it. Therefore, measures to control the dowry problem must be brought out after scientifically studying the social background and the society. Enacting a law no doubt activates social conscience and gives some backing of the law to victims but we cannot eradicate the evil unless the people understand the viewpoint behind the law. However, some of the things that can be done are-

Inter-cast and inter– religion marriage must be supported in public so girls would get an extensive variety of choices in finding an appropriate mate for marriage.

Expenses of the marriage should be divided equally (50-50). While researching the author came across a website discussing the dowry customs of USA, although there is no such custom as of dowry but it is a common practice that the parents of bride spend on party and celebration and groom’s parents spends on furnishing the new house of newlyweds like furniture, car and other gifts (which is the original reason behind dowry and the same is the ideology behind tradition marriage). So similar provisions from other countries could be taken and practiced in India.

Husband and wife must live in a separate home and not with in- laws. This will also help in reducing the demand of a male child over female child and promote equality. This will also help in reduction of cases of female feticide and infanticides.

People should be made aware of their rights as common people still don’t know that a bride is supposed to maintain list of the presents given to her even though The Dowry Prohibition Rules, 1985 providing for maintenance of list by both bride and bridegroom was passed 32 years ago and so it will be injudicious to think that they are aware about IPC sections or other laws.

Bride and her family must be strong enough to dial 100 or 1091/1090(women helpline no.) when someone ask for dowry.

Women should be given formal educations so they don’t have to say yes to a man who ask for dowry.

One should not attend such dowry or extravagant gifts have been demanded or given. The NGOs and women organizations can play an important role in this.

   The police must raid marriages where dowry is being exchanged. This will also completely stop the 498A extortion racket.

Court marriages should be the only legal form of marriage. This will avoid extravagant marriages. Or incentives should be given to people opting for court marriages.

Investigations should be made in marriages of high officials like IAS and IPS because they are the ones with most demands.

A separate helpline should be made for dowry so that people can report dowry exchanges as police and government officials cannot be present in every nook and corner.

Now coming to the problem of misuse –

Take no gifts and give no gifts, and get this fact recorded by atleast four witnesses.

After the wedding also, keep a record of all gifts given by groom or his family to his wife because she can drag him and his family to court for misappropriation of her stridhan.

Parties should sign prenuptial agreements so as to protect one’s interests from false cases when a marriage goes down the hill. for e.g.-before the time of marriage mention your income and during divorce she will be given ¼ x monthly income x no. of years from marriage until the last day of marriage along with any dowry given in respect of marriage or anything else as the court may deem fit.

Husband and wife must live in a separate home and not with in- laws so no case can be made against them.

In court marriages, a dowry prohibition officer must be a witness and he must sign an affidavit that no dowry has taken place and later no complaint can be filed for dowry.

Also Read:

Analysis: Indian Women in Detention & Access to Justice

Marital Rape: An Analysis

  [1]Prachi Salve, Crimes against women up 34% in four years; most reports from UP, Maharashtra, West BengalFirstpost (Sep 06, 2016 08:02:15 IST), https://ift.tt/2SCh0MH.

[2]Sushil Kumar Sharma v. UOI & others,JT 2005(6) SC 266

  Note:

The article is submitted by guest author through our open submission at legaldesire.com/submit

The views expressed are solely of the author.

The post Dowry: The Goose with the Golden Eggs appeared first on Legal Desire.

Dowry: The Goose with the Golden Eggs published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.tumblr.com/

[andrewmrudd79]

Five Truths About the Mindset of a Successful Entrepreneur

Wow, 2018. It’s safe to say that this year is a big year for me. October marks the ten-year anniversary of starting my business, and on June 17th it’ll be ten years since I was laid off (not that I’m keeping track or anything!). In fact, there’s something special that’s going to be happening on June 17th, 2018—but I’ll save that for later.

But . . . ten years. What a journey it’s been! Over that time, I’ve moved from focusing mainly on my own business to becoming a coach and teacher for others getting started in online entrepreneurship. I’ve had the opportunity to guide so many smart, committed people starting their own businesses from scratch. I’ve also seen several of my friends go on to become very successful entrepreneurs—as well as a few who were once very successful but had to start over for some reason and rebuild their success.

Through all of these examples, I’ve learned just how important mindset is for the success of an entrepreneur. In fact, I’d say it’s probably the most important thing. You can have the best products, you can have all the right marketing strategies, you can have the right customers . . . but if you don’t have the right mindset, none of that stuff matters.

In this post I want to share five essential truths that I’ve learned about mindset over the course of the last almost-decade of being an entrepreneur. Three of them even come with brand-new videos I recorded. Check them out as you’re reading, and subscribe to my YouTube channel to be updated whenever I release new videos.

So, here are the five biggest things I’ve learned over the past ten years about entrepreneurship and mindset. I’m excited to share them with you now. Let’s do this!

#1: You Were Meant for This

The number one thing is this: If you’re reading this right now, it means you were meant for this entrepreneurial journey. There’s a reason you’re here, why you’re doing what you’re doing. There’s a reason you’re working so hard, experimenting, doing the research, and building a business. You have a deep and powerful drive for it—and if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here. Maybe that drive stems from being unhappy with your current job and wanting something more, whether it’s on the side or full-time. You know there’s something more out there for you.

A lot of people question themselves. They say, “Well, I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, or, “I don’t know if I was meant to do this.” But when you adopt that mindset, it keeps you from committing fully. Full commitment is what’s required. You need to have that mental commitment to going all in—not necessarily with your time, but with your attitude. If you ever question yourself, always remember why you started on this journey in the first place. What is it deep down about making this change that excites you? What are the opportunities that lie in front of you? Always remember: This is something you were meant to do.

#2: Failure Is a Part of the Process

I grew up in a household where I was trained to try and be as perfect as possible. I was near perfect through high school and even college, getting a 4.2 GPA, graduating at the top of my class, magna cum laude from UC Berkeley in architecture. I grew up in a household where I came home from school with a 94% on my math test, and I was asked, “What happened to the other 6%?” I wasn’t necessarily congratulated, although I was, but I felt like the stress was on what I had missed and not the rest of that I had gotten right. And so, I experienced one of the biggest failures in my life when I got let go.

This is sadly common. We live in a day and age where we are expected to be perfect. I recently watched a video of Neil deGrasse Tyson speaking at a college graduation, talking about how we prize knowledge over the process of learning, and memorization over ingenuity. Neil gave the example of a spelling bee. A person who spells “cat” correctly, “C-A-T,” goes on to the next round. If the next person goes up and tries to spell it “K-A-T,” it’s incorrect. It’s really close! But it’s still incorrect, and they’re out of the competition. Then, if someone else comes up and spells it “Q-Z-V,” they are equally as out as the person who spelled it “K-A-T.” Even though the “K-A-T” person was really close, much closer than the “Q-Z-V” person—and they had arguably spelled it just as correctly, if not more so (if you look at the pronunciation guide in a dictionary for the word “cat,” you’ll see “/kat/”!).

As Neil says, our society is too focused on “the right answer.” We’re too focused on the what, and not the how, the process of learning. We’re too focused on perfection rather than good enough, even though good enough is often good enough! The person who spells it “K-A-T” is going to feel like they’ve failed, and they are viewed as being on the same level of failure as somebody who got it completely wrong.

And when you’re trying to become an entrepreneur, this is something that can be really dangerous. The need to be perfect, to avoid failure, comes into conflict with what it actually takes to be successful. Because if you’re worried about perfection all the time, you’re never going to get anything done. The quest for perfection is going to delay you from doing what you need to do to actually run a business. As Seth Godin says, “Just ship.”

In entrepreneurship and in life, we’re sometimes afraid of failing and making mistakes because we feel like those mistakes will ruin us. The thought of that big fat red “F” marker on the paper scares a lot of people. So we study harder, and try to avoid failure as much as possible. But when you’re an entrepreneur, failing is good! The faster you fail, the better you can learn. This is why in my book Will It Fly? failing is a crucial part of validating your business idea: Seeking out conversations in which people can poke holes in your business model is the part of the process. Pre-selling your items so that when you don’t sell anything, you can go back to the people who said they were interested but didn’t buy to learn what you need to do differently.

So remember, there are no overnight successes, and you might have to fail a lot before you succeed. When you realize that even some of the most successful people out there didn’t do it overnight, and often faced tons of rejection, you learn to appreciate the hard work, patience, and persistence needed to make it as an entrepreneur. If you let failures stop you, you’re going to let a lot of people down, including yourself and the people you could be serving.

In case you’re still scared of failure, I wanted to share this next video, “9 Successful People Who Were REJECTED 138 Times.” It features several people you might recognize who failed a lot but forged ahead and found success over time. I won’t give them away right away, so try to play along and guess each person before I reveal them. There are some big names on this list, and I think you’ll be pretty surprised when you learn what they had to go through before they became successful.

#3: It’s Never Too Late to Begin

With my courses now, especially Smart From Scratch, I get a lot of messages from new entrepreneurs who are feeling disillusioned. They’ve done their research, and they’ve seen how much competition is out there for their business idea—and they think this is a bad thing. They feel like they’re too late to the game. But there’s actually a big advantage in being late! When you do your research, you can find the holes in the market, see what your potential competitors are not doing well, and start to carve out your own unique positioning. You also know that because of the simple fact that there is competition out there, there’s a market out there for the kind of business you want to start. This gives you a chance to listen to the market and create something different and better.

Also, when you start out small, you have the ability to more easily connect with people, to have close and meaningful interactions that help you cultivate raving fans much more quickly. You can create a more personal connection with your customers, something that’s harder for larger companies to do.

Finally, some people consider themselves too old to start a business—but that’s simply not true!

I address this fear, that it’s too late to get started, in the next video, “I’m TOO OLD to Start a Business…” If you ever think it’s too late to begin starting a business, whether because of your age or because of competition, what I share in this video will show you the real truth behind this faulty assumption. I talk about Richard, who at the age of 52 told me he felt like he was too old to start a business. I helped Richard break down that myth and realize why you’re truly never too old to get started at anything.

So stop making age or timing an excuse. Maybe you wish you’d started earlier, but that’s just fear of missing out, and it’s something we all deal with from to time.

#4: It’s All in Your Head

When you start off on an entrepreneurial path, you encounter things that you just haven’t experienced before. And you start to do what I call “weird entrepreneur math.” We start to put more importance on some numbers and not others, even when it doesn’t make sense to. What am I talking about? I’ll explain everything in the next video, where I talk about some of the numbers that trip up entrepreneurs who are starting out. I’ll tell you which numbers you should ignore, and which ones you should pay attention to if you want to be successful.

By the way, if you’re enjoying these videos—and I hope you are—simply go to smartpassiveincome.com/youtube to subscribe!

#5 You Can’t Do This Alone

Entrepreneurship can be very lonely. That’s why it’s really important to connect with the right people, build the right relationships that will sustain you.

I love to meet people, and I love to help other entrepreneurs meet each other. For all of my courses, I hold meetups for my students, and I encourage them to set up their own private meetups, too. I also love meeting people at conferences. I think conferences are one of the best ways to connect with awesome people who are on a similar path to you. Even if you’ve never been to a conference, I encourage you to go out there and find one this year that fits you and your business. The connections you make at these events can be a game-changer.

As a matter of fact, I’ll be speaking at a number of events this year, and I’d love to meet you if you can make it to any of them! Here are some of the highlights on my schedule:

Feb 26: Traffic and Conversion Summit, San Diego

Feb 28–Mar 2: Social Media Marketing World, San Diego

June 29–July 2: Craft In Commerce, Boise

July 23–26: Podcast Movement, Philadelphia

[Full disclosure: I am an affiliate for Social Media Marketing World and Podcast Movement.]

You can find the full list of my speaking engagements on my Speaking page.

To recap, these are my five truths about the entrepreneurial mindset:

You Were Meant For This

Failure Is a Part of the Process

It’s Never Too Late to Begin

It’s All in Your Head

You Can’t Do This Alone

Finally, I’m running a little contest! When you enter the contest at SmartPassiveIncome.com/coffee, you could be one of three (3) winners to receive:

A 1-on-1 virtual chat over coffee to discuss whatever you’d like: your business, personal life, if you are stuck on something and need help, or want to run an idea by me.

To promote anything you want (business name, social media handles, “hi, mom!”, etc.) and be featured in an upcoming YouTube video that I’ll post on the Smart Passive Income YouTube channel.

PLUS, you can earn additional entries by subscribing to my YouTube channel (10 additional entries) and referring friends to sign up (3 entries for each friend), or following me on Instagram (1 entry)!

So be sure to enter the contest today!

Five Truths About the Mindset of a Successful Entrepreneur originally posted at Homer’s Blog

[judithghernandez87]

Five Truths About the Mindset of a Successful Entrepreneur

Wow, 2018. It’s safe to say that this year is a big year for me. October marks the ten-year anniversary of starting my business, and on June 17th it’ll be ten years since I was laid off (not that I’m keeping track or anything!). In fact, there’s something special that’s going to be happening on June 17th, 2018—but I’ll save that for later.

But . . . ten years. What a journey it’s been! Over that time, I’ve moved from focusing mainly on my own business to becoming a coach and teacher for others getting started in online entrepreneurship. I’ve had the opportunity to guide so many smart, committed people starting their own businesses from scratch. I’ve also seen several of my friends go on to become very successful entrepreneurs—as well as a few who were once very successful but had to start over for some reason and rebuild their success.

Through all of these examples, I’ve learned just how important mindset is for the success of an entrepreneur. In fact, I’d say it’s probably the most important thing. You can have the best products, you can have all the right marketing strategies, you can have the right customers . . . but if you don’t have the right mindset, none of that stuff matters.

In this post I want to share five essential truths that I’ve learned about mindset over the course of the last almost-decade of being an entrepreneur. Three of them even come with brand-new videos I recorded. Check them out as you’re reading, and subscribe to my YouTube channel to be updated whenever I release new videos.

So, here are the five biggest things I’ve learned over the past ten years about entrepreneurship and mindset. I’m excited to share them with you now. Let’s do this!

#1: You Were Meant for This

The number one thing is this: If you’re reading this right now, it means you were meant for this entrepreneurial journey. There’s a reason you’re here, why you’re doing what you’re doing. There’s a reason you’re working so hard, experimenting, doing the research, and building a business. You have a deep and powerful drive for it—and if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here. Maybe that drive stems from being unhappy with your current job and wanting something more, whether it’s on the side or full-time. You know there’s something more out there for you.

A lot of people question themselves. They say, “Well, I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, or, “I don’t know if I was meant to do this.” But when you adopt that mindset, it keeps you from committing fully. Full commitment is what’s required. You need to have that mental commitment to going all in—not necessarily with your time, but with your attitude. If you ever question yourself, always remember why you started on this journey in the first place. What is it deep down about making this change that excites you? What are the opportunities that lie in front of you? Always remember: This is something you were meant to do.

#2: Failure Is a Part of the Process

I grew up in a household where I was trained to try and be as perfect as possible. I was near perfect through high school and even college, getting a 4.2 GPA, graduating at the top of my class, magna cum laude from UC Berkeley in architecture. I grew up in a household where I came home from school with a 94% on my math test, and I was asked, “What happened to the other 6%?” I wasn’t necessarily congratulated, although I was, but I felt like the stress was on what I had missed and not the rest of that I had gotten right. And so, I experienced one of the biggest failures in my life when I got let go.

This is sadly common. We live in a day and age where we are expected to be perfect. I recently watched a video of Neil deGrasse Tyson speaking at a college graduation, talking about how we prize knowledge over the process of learning, and memorization over ingenuity. Neil gave the example of a spelling bee. A person who spells “cat” correctly, “C-A-T,” goes on to the next round. If the next person goes up and tries to spell it “K-A-T,” it’s incorrect. It’s really close! But it’s still incorrect, and they’re out of the competition. Then, if someone else comes up and spells it “Q-Z-V,” they are equally as out as the person who spelled it “K-A-T.” Even though the “K-A-T” person was really close, much closer than the “Q-Z-V” person—and they had arguably spelled it just as correctly, if not more so (if you look at the pronunciation guide in a dictionary for the word “cat,” you’ll see “/kat/”!).

As Neil says, our society is too focused on “the right answer.” We’re too focused on the what, and not the how, the process of learning. We’re too focused on perfection rather than good enough, even though good enough is often good enough! The person who spells it “K-A-T” is going to feel like they’ve failed, and they are viewed as being on the same level of failure as somebody who got it completely wrong.

And when you’re trying to become an entrepreneur, this is something that can be really dangerous. The need to be perfect, to avoid failure, comes into conflict with what it actually takes to be successful. Because if you’re worried about perfection all the time, you’re never going to get anything done. The quest for perfection is going to delay you from doing what you need to do to actually run a business. As Seth Godin says, “Just ship.”

In entrepreneurship and in life, we’re sometimes afraid of failing and making mistakes because we feel like those mistakes will ruin us. The thought of that big fat red “F” marker on the paper scares a lot of people. So we study harder, and try to avoid failure as much as possible. But when you’re an entrepreneur, failing is good! The faster you fail, the better you can learn. This is why in my book Will It Fly? failing is a crucial part of validating your business idea: Seeking out conversations in which people can poke holes in your business model is the part of the process. Pre-selling your items so that when you don’t sell anything, you can go back to the people who said they were interested but didn’t buy to learn what you need to do differently.

So remember, there are no overnight successes, and you might have to fail a lot before you succeed. When you realize that even some of the most successful people out there didn’t do it overnight, and often faced tons of rejection, you learn to appreciate the hard work, patience, and persistence needed to make it as an entrepreneur. If you let failures stop you, you’re going to let a lot of people down, including yourself and the people you could be serving.

In case you’re still scared of failure, I wanted to share this next video, “9 Successful People Who Were REJECTED 138 Times.” It features several people you might recognize who failed a lot but forged ahead and found success over time. I won’t give them away right away, so try to play along and guess each person before I reveal them. There are some big names on this list, and I think you’ll be pretty surprised when you learn what they had to go through before they became successful.

#3: It’s Never Too Late to Begin

With my courses now, especially Smart From Scratch, I get a lot of messages from new entrepreneurs who are feeling disillusioned. They’ve done their research, and they’ve seen how much competition is out there for their business idea—and they think this is a bad thing. They feel like they’re too late to the game. But there’s actually a big advantage in being late! When you do your research, you can find the holes in the market, see what your potential competitors are not doing well, and start to carve out your own unique positioning. You also know that because of the simple fact that there is competition out there, there’s a market out there for the kind of business you want to start. This gives you a chance to listen to the market and create something different and better.

Also, when you start out small, you have the ability to more easily connect with people, to have close and meaningful interactions that help you cultivate raving fans much more quickly. You can create a more personal connection with your customers, something that’s harder for larger companies to do.

Finally, some people consider themselves too old to start a business—but that’s simply not true!

I address this fear, that it’s too late to get started, in the next video, “I’m TOO OLD to Start a Business…” If you ever think it’s too late to begin starting a business, whether because of your age or because of competition, what I share in this video will show you the real truth behind this faulty assumption. I talk about Richard, who at the age of 52 told me he felt like he was too old to start a business. I helped Richard break down that myth and realize why you’re truly never too old to get started at anything.

So stop making age or timing an excuse. Maybe you wish you’d started earlier, but that’s just fear of missing out, and it’s something we all deal with from to time.

#4: It’s All in Your Head

When you start off on an entrepreneurial path, you encounter things that you just haven’t experienced before. And you start to do what I call “weird entrepreneur math.” We start to put more importance on some numbers and not others, even when it doesn’t make sense to. What am I talking about? I’ll explain everything in the next video, where I talk about some of the numbers that trip up entrepreneurs who are starting out. I’ll tell you which numbers you should ignore, and which ones you should pay attention to if you want to be successful.

By the way, if you’re enjoying these videos—and I hope you are—simply go to smartpassiveincome.com/youtube to subscribe!

#5 You Can’t Do This Alone

Entrepreneurship can be very lonely. That’s why it’s really important to connect with the right people, build the right relationships that will sustain you.

I love to meet people, and I love to help other entrepreneurs meet each other. For all of my courses, I hold meetups for my students, and I encourage them to set up their own private meetups, too. I also love meeting people at conferences. I think conferences are one of the best ways to connect with awesome people who are on a similar path to you. Even if you’ve never been to a conference, I encourage you to go out there and find one this year that fits you and your business. The connections you make at these events can be a game-changer.

As a matter of fact, I’ll be speaking at a number of events this year, and I’d love to meet you if you can make it to any of them! Here are some of the highlights on my schedule:

Feb 26: Traffic and Conversion Summit, San Diego

Feb 28–Mar 2: Social Media Marketing World, San Diego

June 29–July 2: Craft In Commerce, Boise

July 23–26: Podcast Movement, Philadelphia

[Full disclosure: I am an affiliate for Social Media Marketing World and Podcast Movement.]

You can find the full list of my speaking engagements on my Speaking page.

To recap, these are my five truths about the entrepreneurial mindset:

You Were Meant For This

Failure Is a Part of the Process

It’s Never Too Late to Begin

It’s All in Your Head

You Can’t Do This Alone

Finally, I’m running a little contest! When you enter the contest at SmartPassiveIncome.com/coffee, you could be one of three (3) winners to receive:

A 1-on-1 virtual chat over coffee to discuss whatever you’d like: your business, personal life, if you are stuck on something and need help, or want to run an idea by me.

To promote anything you want (business name, social media handles, “hi, mom!”, etc.) and be featured in an upcoming YouTube video that I’ll post on the Smart Passive Income YouTube channel.

PLUS, you can earn additional entries by subscribing to my YouTube channel (10 additional entries) and referring friends to sign up (3 entries for each friend), or following me on Instagram (1 entry)!

So be sure to enter the contest today!

Five Truths About the Mindset of a Successful Entrepreneur originally posted at Dave’s Blog

[latrang-blog]

Look, I know you think the fact you feel upset or angry or anxious is important. That it matters. Hell, you probably think that because you feel like your face just got shat on makes you important. But it doesn’t. Feelings are just these… things that happen. The meaning we build around them–what we decide is important or unimportant–comes later.

There are only two reasons to do anything in life: a) because it feels good, or b) because it’s something you believe to be good or right. Sometimes these two reasons align. Something feels good AND is the right thing to do and that’s just fucking fantastic. Let’s throw a party and eat cake.

But more often, these two things don’t align. Something feels shitty but is right/good (getting up at 5AM and going to the gym, hanging out with grandma Joanie for an afternoon and making sure she’s still breathing), or something feels fucking great but is the bad/wrong thing to do (pretty much anything involving penises).

Acting based on our feelings is easy. You feel it. Then you do it. It’s like scratching an itch. There’s a sense of relief and cessation that comes along with it. It’s a quick satisfaction. But then that satisfaction is gone just as quickly as it came.

Acting based on what’s good/right is difficult. For one, knowing what is good/right is not always clear.1 You often have to sit down and think hard about it. Often we have to feel ambivalent about our conclusions or fight through our lower impulses.

But when we do what’s good/right, the positive effects last much longer. We feel pride remembering it years later. We tell our friends and family about it and give ourselves cute little awards and put shit on our office walls and say, “Hey! I did that!” when our co-workers come in and ask why we have a trophy with a goat catching a frisbee on our bookshelf (don’t ask).

The point is: doing what is good/right builds self-esteem and adds meaning to our lives.

YOUR TRICKY BRAIN

So we should just ignore our feelings and just do what is good/right all the time then, right? It’s simple.

Well, like many things in life, it is simple. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy.

The problem is that the brain doesn’t like to feel conflicted about its decision making. It doesn’t like uncertainty or ambiguity and will do mental acrobatics to avoid any discomfort. And our brain’s favorite way to do this is to always try to convince itself that whatever feels good is the same as what is good/right.

So you know you shouldn’t eat that ice cream. But your brain says, “Hey, you had a hard day, a little bit won’t kill ya.” And you’re like, “Hey, you’re right! Thanks, brain!” What feels good suddenly feels right. And then you shamelessly inhale a pint of Cherry Garcia.

You know you shouldn’t cheat on your exam, but your brain says, “You’re working two jobs to put yourself through college, unlike these spoiled brats in your class. You deserve a little boost from time-to-time,” and so you sneak a peek at your classmate’s answers and voila, what feels good is also what feels right.

You know you should vote, but you tell yourself that the system is corrupt, and besides, your vote won’t matter anyway. And so you stay home and play with your new drone that’s probably illegal to fly in your neighborhood. But fuck it, who cares? This is America and the whole point is to get fat doing whatever you want. That’s like, the sixth amendment, or something.2

If you do this sort of thing long enough–if you convince yourself that what feels good is the same as what is good–then your brain will actually start to mix the two up. Your brain will start thinking the whole point of life is to just feel really awesome, as often as possible.

And once this happens, you’ll start deluding yourself into believing that your feelings actually matter. And once that happens, well…

Now, if this is rubbing you the wrong way right now, just think about it for a second. Everything that’s screwed up in your life, chances are it got that way because you were too beholden to your feelings. You were too impulsive. Or too self-righteous and thought yourself the center of the universe. Feelings have a way of doing that, you know? They make you think you’re the center of the universe. And I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re not.

A lot of young people hate hearing this because they grew up with parents who worshipped their feelings as children, and protected those feelings, and tried to buy as many candy corns and swimming lessons as necessary to make sure those feelings were nice and fuzzy and protected at all times.

Sadly, these parents probably did this because they were also beholden to their own feelings, because they were unable to tolerate the pain of watching a child struggle, even if just for a moment. They didn’t realize that children need some controlled measure of adversity to develop cognitively and emotionally, that experiencing failure is actually what sets us up for success, and that demanding to feel good all the time is pretty much a first-class ticket to having no friends once you hit adulthood.

This is the problem with organizing your life around feelings:

Your feelings are self-contained. They are wholly and solely experienced only by you. Your feelings can’t tell you what’s best for your mother or your career or your neighbor’s dog. They can’t tell you what’s best for the environment. Or what’s best for the next parliament of Lithuania. All they can do is tell you what’s best for you… and even that is debatable.

Your feelings are temporary. They only exist in the moment they arise. Your feelings cannot tell you what will be good for you in a week or a year or 20 years. They can’t tell you what was best for you when you were a kid or what you should have studied in school. All they can do is tell you what is best for you now… and even that is debatable.Your feelings are inaccurate. Ever been talking to a friend and thought you heard them say this horrible mean thing and start to get upset and then it turned out your friend didn’t say that horrible, mean thing at all, you just heard it wrong? Or ever get really jealous or upset with somebody close to you for a completely imagined reason? Like their phone dies and you start thinking they hate you and never liked you and were just using you for your Boy George tickets? Or ever been really excited to pursue something you thought was going to make you into a big bad ass but then later realized that it was all just an ego trip, and you pissed off a lot of people you cared about along the way? Feelings kind of suck at the whole truth thing. And that’s a problem.

WHY IT’S HARD TO GET OVER YOUR OWN FEELINGSNow, none of what I’m saying is really that surprising or new. In fact, you’ve probably tried to get over some of your own obnoxious feelings and impulses before and failed to do it.The problem is when you start trying to control your own emotions, the emotions multiply. It’s like trying to exterminate rabbits. The fuckers just keep popping up all over the place.

This is because we don’t just have feelings about our experiences, we also have feelings about our feelings. I call these “meta-feelings” and they pretty much ruin everything.There are four types of meta-feelings: feeling bad about feeling bad (self-loathing), feeling bad about feeling good (guilt), feeling good about feeling bad (self-righteousness), and feeling good about feeling good (ego/narcissism).

Meta-feelings are part of the stories we tell ourselves about our feelings. They make us feel justified in our jealousy. They applaud us for our pride. They shove our faces in our own pain.They’re basically the sense of what is justified/not justified. They’re our own acceptance of how we should respond emotionally and how we shouldn’t.But emotions don’t respond to shoulds. Emotions suck, remember?And so instead, these meta-feelings have the tendency to rip us apart inside, even further.If you always feel good about feeling good, you will become self-absorbed and feel entitled to those around you. If feeling good makes you feel bad about yourself, then you’ll become this walking, talking pile of guilt and shame, feeling as though you deserve nothing, have earned nothing, and have nothing of value to offer to the people or the world around you.And then there are those who feel bad about feeling bad. These “positive thinkers” will live in fear that any amount of suffering indicates that something must be sorely wrong with them. This is the Feedback Loop from Hell that many of us are thrust into by our culture, our family and the self-help industry at large.But perhaps the worst meta-feeling is increasingly the most common: feeling good about feeling bad. People who feel good about feeling bad get to enjoy a certain righteous indignation. They feel morally superior in their suffering, that they are somehow martyrs in a cruel world. These self-aggrandizing victimhood trend-followers are the ones who want to shit on someone’s life on the internet, who want to march and throw shit at politicians or businessmen or celebrities who are merely doing their best in a hard, complex world.Much of the social strife that we’re experiencing today is the result of these meta-feelings. Moralizing mobs on both the political right and left see themselves as victimized and somehow special in every miniscule pain or setback they experience. Greed skyrockets while the rich congratulate themselves on being rich in tandem with the increasing rates of anxiety and depression as the lower and middle classes hate themselves for feeling left behind.These narratives are spun not only by ourselves but fed by the narratives invented in the media. Right-wing talk show hosts stoke the flames of self-righteousness, creating an addiction to irrational fears that people’s society is crumbling around them. Political memes on the left create the same self-righteousness, but instead of appealing to fear, they appeal to intellect and arrogance. Consumer culture pushes you to make decisions based on feeling great and then congratulates you for those decisions, while our religions tell us to feel bad about how bad we feel.CONTROL MEANING, NOT EMOTIONSTo unspin these stories we must come back to a simple truth: feelings don’t necessarily mean anything. They merely mean whatever you allow them to mean.Maybe I’m sad today. Maybe there are eight different reasons I can be sad today. Maybe some of them are important and some of them aren’t. But I get to decide how important those reasons are–whether those reasons state something about my character or whether it’s just one of those sad days.This is the skill that’s perilously missing today: the ability to de-couple meaning from feeling, to decide that just because you feel something, it doesn’t mean life is that something.Fuck your feelings. Sometimes, good things will make you feel bad. Sometimes, bad things will make you feel good. That doesn’t change the fact that they are good/bad. Sometimes, you will feel bad about feeling good about a bad thing and you will feel good about feeling bad about a good thi–you know what? Fuck it. Just fuck feelings.This doesn’t mean you should ignore your feelings. Feelings are important. But they’re important not for the reasons we think they are. We think they’re important because they say something about us, about the world, and about our relationship with it. But they say none of these things. There’s no meaning attached to feelings. Sometimes you hurt for a good reason. Sometimes for a bad reason. And sometimes no reason at all. The hurt itself is neutral. The reason is separate.The point is that you get to decide. And many of us have either forgotten or never realized that fact. But we decide what our pain means. Just as we decide what our successes expose.And more often than not, any answer except one will tear you apart inside. And that answer is: nothing.

[thatlexplays]

Dance for Nerds: Why I do it.

I’ve mentioned a few times on this blog that I’m a little weird as a person. I’m quirky, kinda sarcastic and obnoxious, and I make more pop culture references than I probably should (and I’m honestly not entirely sure how many people get my jokes) But when it comes to my craft as a choreographer and performer, I’m the weird guy who doesn’t get exclusively get inspired by the works of other choreographers before me. Why? Because I’m nerd of my senior class. When I got to college, I was a broadway nerd (I’m less of that now), and as the years went on, I became a gaming journalist and a hardcore nerd (I mean I made a post about choreography coming from Dungeons and Dragons...that’s peak nerd right there). 

The major change in my life came with my roles at Zelda Universe. I started as a guide writer and in a turn of events that I did not expect, I ended up becoming the Media Director and an attendee to the Electronic Entertainment Expo (aka E3, the big event for the Gaming Industry). Going to E3 as a member of the press drastically altered how I compose myself because it forced me to step up to the plate and make myself seem professional. It was very weird the first year I went to E3 (2015), but by E3 2016, I felt comfortable calling myself a gaming journalist. As an artist, it also is incredibly interesting to talk to the developers of the games themselves and ask them what their process was and some of the reasoning behind their choices. My recent favorite is getting the chance to play Outlast II, a sequel to 2013′s surprise horror hit. During the demo, there was a particular jumpscare that got me so hard it actually made me scream in the middle of the show floor. When talking to the devs, they told me that that specific jumpscare is triggered by how fast your turn the camera, and NOT by touching a door, which allows the tension to continue to build up until you unwittingly set it off. That is genius. 

Sadly, I’ve also gotten a lot of shit for being a dancer that plays video games. I’ve been told by a handful of family members (as well as a few faculty members at school) that I am not prioritizing myself and should be taking more inspiration from dance. Which is unfortunate because I feel like we don’t look at video games complexly. I’ve gotten so much crap for this that I’ve become really good at explaining why being a dancer who plays video games is valid. And because I am currently sitting on a flight for three hours: I figured it would interesting to write about it.

First of all, there’s the obvious answers of storyline, art-style, and music. There are plenty of video games that do an incredible job at creating a plot arc that is gripping and engaging. For me, some of the memorable games that do this incredibly well are The Last of Us, Bioshock, Bioshock Infinite, most of the Legend of Zelda titles, and most recently, The Last Guardian (which I still have to finish, but what I’ve played I’ve enjoyed). These are games that have a great score, and have story-lines that make me connect to the characters and find things to use as inspiration. 

Then you have those games that also force you to make specific decisions that do have impact. Telltale is prastically know for this in their titles, but the one that’s had a lasting impact on me was Undertale. Undertale’s art-style mimiced that of Nintendo’s Mother/Earthbound series, and had an incredible, multi-faceted story that wasn’t afraid of being fun and kid-friendly one minute and then actively trying to fuck with your mind the next (there are even some movments near the end where the game takes a page out of Eternal Darkness and Arkham Asylum and crashes on purpose, just for good measure). The game also boasts a fabulous score, and it was one of the very few games (if not the only game) that I found a personal connection with. But what set the game apart from other RPG-style games was the primary mechanic of either sparing every enemy you meet or killing anything that crosses your path. The Pacifist and Genocide runs give two entirely different experiences and completely alter how NPCs view your character. Genocide goes one step further as well and activates a permanent flag in the game’s files upon completion, which alters the outcomes of future True Pacifist and Genocide Runs unless you go into the game’s files and delete the flag yourself (which is not as easy to do for the Steam version). This moral choice has so many different implications and is a very brilliant way of showing that every action has a consequence, which in dance, is an important rule. 

But those aren’t the reasons why I play video games. There is one reason that outshines them all, and it can be consended into a quote by Robert Frost.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on" -Robert Frost

 If the countless hours of YouTube, Film, and Video game have taught me anything in the 22 years I’ve been on this Earth, it’s taught me that pretty much everything related to media shares a common aesthetic: life in motion. Whether it’s in the depths of outer space in Star Trek, a Deathclaw in Fallout 4, the Demogorgon from Stranger Things, or just two people chatting in a Starbucks, the act of existing in the world naturally evokes movement. Life doesn’t stop. Ever.

In video games, this is amplified depending on the game. Every character and enemy model has to have a specific way of traversing through space. Sometimes that’s as easy as using a reference (like spiders are common in games but they all move like actual spiders...also...fuck spiders). But in the cases of original enemies, somebody has to create a model and then think “Ok...so how would this character traverse through space?” Once you have that, then there are the specific and subtle nuances that all the characters should possess like Idle animations. That is all movement. 

Case in point: look at the idle animation for Team Skull Grunts in Pokémon Sun and Moon.

Now this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in a Pokémon game. Easily. It’s so dumb that it’s absolutely hysterical. However, as dumb as it is, when I think of Team Skull now, I immediately start doing these arm gestures. I now associate Team Skull with that movement. As ridiculous as it is, it’s still movement.

Mankind is currently living in an era in which technology is evolving at a rapid pace. There is so much media in our lives we are pretty much drowning in it. As a result, everything can connect to movement, regardless of sentience or whether or not we can actually see it.

As a citizen living in a country where everything is about to drastically change come January 20th, the arts now have an important role to serve our society and create meaningful work. If we look complextly at the video game industry, we come to realize how much goes into it and how much you can use as a jumping-off point for anything. 

And that is something I intend to do--I am interested in deconstructing current media and technology down to a series of movement principles to create work (either performed live or produced as films) that not only references the culture, but also comments on it as a way of showing the complexity of modern existence through technical and natural movement. I’m also interested in utilizing technology like Twitch to create work that puts control into the hand of the audience. 

Maybe I’ll figure out a way to make this work...or maybe I wont. But it’s worth a shot. 

#everthingisart #videogamesareart #dancenerd #moderndance