#and im always like Yea Duh thats the problem. imagine a world where we did not need to make money

[tandytoaster]

Night time is my drawing time, but it’s also prime laptop time, and lately I’ve really liked going tippy tap on my keyboard- it’s just such a good sensory feeling (sookie emoji I will add once I’m using my phone again). But then I’m like... I miss drawing, and I feel like I’m missing out on vital art time for my brain and my mental illness, and I get scared I’ll get out of the art groove again for another few months and it will take like a year to get back to where I’m really happy with my art again. But I no longer have a poopie job obligation (which I REALLY think is what triggered my need for antidepressants >:(((( ) so that will not be getting in the way of my hobbies or my brain power

#noop nooping #if we did not need to make money to live i would be so happy. mental illness who? #i wish my grandmother would understand that. shes always like well u have to work or else u cant buy anything #and im always like Yea Duh thats the problem. imagine a world where we did not need to make money #and shes like..... but u have to ...! #i have that same conversation with her every time we talk and its been that way for the past year #she cant relate because she doesnt have hobbies #like. she sees how much better off i am mentally when i dont have that kind of pressure on me. why do you want me to go back to being #miserable. its not that I dont want to Work- i WANT to clean my damn apartment #that is work. i want to spend my energy making a meaningful life for myself and my gf #nanny doesnt know what that looks like despite me telling her because her only hobby is watching tv and shopping #im like. we can clean and cook and bake and walk and draw and paint and create and not be stressed #and shes like... well... wont u be bored witthout a job. #she dont listen. its always so fucking weird when my mom understands me more than she does #anyway i have to go to bed. LMAO OOPS