#and i know im not hallucinating ok this shit is uncanny and denying it feels absurd to me now

[bugpov]

i am floored

#major tw #tw abuse #tw rape #it took 2000 years to figure out how jesus was talking to god and the archangels #if someone had just figured it out a long time ago #a lot of bad things wouldn't have happened #and now i feel sick thinking about it #no one questioned it and that is why people are still in literal concentration camps still #like bruh #literal proof that god exists has been all around us #and i know im not hallucinating ok this shit is uncanny and denying it feels absurd to me now #how did anyone think jesus was talking to god and the archangels ??? a voice ? u mean these voices right here ? #everything hurts #and it took me having to come down here and figure it all out by myself and my brain isn't even fully developed #and im traumatized by my family and my rapist older brother who is literally the devil #my 3 yro neice who is also his daughter even said so herself #like she said it right to his face one time that he looked like the devil #n he abuses her and ive done literally everything i can to stop it #but my family just doesn't give a fuck and they're lost in their own indulgence #snail sounds #my older brother is truly demonic and he always has been #he hurt me when i was a child and i didn't realize it until recently cuz i was knocked out the entire time #but the aftermath is something i chose to ignore for years cuz i didn't understand but now i know that he hurt me #and i was living with him and my family for a long time after that and he would abuse everyone there cuz he thinks he has control #over my elderly parents #my family refuses to acknowledge what i went through despite speaking up many times #i fucking remember what happened cuz ive been reliving the same traumatic event in my head for years now . just over and over again #but i passed it off as nothing but anxiety #but now im starting to think i have ptsd