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sarahtarian · 7 years

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10:30 pm thought...

This is inspired by the craziest episode of Jane the Virgin airing on Monday night.

One of my favorite things in the universe is watching or hearing your friends explain to you how they stumbled upon their favorite shows. -And how it results in someone’s unique collection of favorite shows.

I don’t care if anyone reads this, but I wanted to take a few minutes to walk down memory lane and revisit my personal stories. In a rough order of how much they mean to me:

Criminal Minds (Wednesdays @ 9 on CBS)- This school year has been crazy because I’ve moved twice, and switched all of my classes in anticipation of moving in with my dad, and correctly assuming that I would need to be my own best advocate. I had signed up for way too many hard classes because I felt rushed when signing up, and I didn’t yet know that I wouldn’t exactly be able to go to an international college because of money and my weak dedication to school. In an act of self-preservation, I began to get into some new shows in the Fall of 2016 to help myself cope with the death of my parent’s marriage, and the sale of my childhood home. In one of my new classes, (I took part one last school year, so I’m in part two now) I had become acquaintances with this girl who is a senior at my high school, that I would see on the bus and in the lunch room everyday. One day in November 2016, she sat at a table with me. I don’t remember how we got into this conversation (I’m 50/50 that I was watching The Blacklist during our shared free period), but I recall trying to explain the plot of the Blacklist to her, and she said, “That sounds exactly like Criminal Minds!!!”, and I thought to myself, oh lord, I’ve heard of that show, and it always sounds like some lame 90′s crime show to me. I hope she isn’t going to push the subject, and try to get me to watch it. I believe it was that night when I watched maybe 4 episodes of it, and I was HOOKED. My new-found obsession was quite casual, up until winter break, when I felt comfortable putting my home screen as Matthew Gray Gubler because I’d be out of school for an extended period of time. The moment that changed my universe was when I saw a cute little post on tumblr asking if anyone wanted to join a Matthew Gray Gubler/Criminal Minds group chat, and I responded, not knowing what to think. To be honest, I though I had either asked too late, or maybe it would just fizzle out very quickly like my 2014 o2l group chat did. It did not. Our chat turned one month yesterday, as did my Matthew Gray Gubler blog. Those dozen or so girlies and guys completely changed my junior year, and my life. Not only did our chat enhance my understanding/appreciation for Criminal Minds, it has become my place to vent, give the others some advice, and make every conversation feel like a slumber party. Being a fan of Criminal Minds has helped me see what I want my future to be a little more than before, and most importantly, that I don’t want to redo the mistakes of my parents. I like reading so much more now than I did before, and for the first time that I can ever recall, I am content in the happy medium I’ve found between my hobbies. This past week, I went to an orientation for volunteers at a baby horse hospital (my second year), I’ve gotten a lot of time by myself in my new apartment to work on singing, I’ve sat down and made some original posts for my blog that I’m proud of, I found a way to study for midterms and not hate it, and I believe that all of these factors culminating together have, and will help me in the real world. This particular fandom makes me feel like I’ve found my home at a very vulnerable time in my life, and brought me back up from my rock bottom. I can honestly say that I feel like I have a much stronger sense of self after being immersed in the psychology of Criminal Minds, and understanding the reason for my own behavior. This show makes me laugh when I would otherwise be crying.

Jane the Virgin (Mondays @ 9 on the CW)- I had just started my sophomore year in High School. I was in a rough situation friend-wise, and this show was my coping mechanism. I must have rewatched the first season 3 times, and I got so sucked into it for some reason. I was, and still am so into the romanticism of this show which for me means the music, the non-sexual building of Jane’s relationship with her love interests, the crazy family drama, and the complexity of the storyline, and strangely, how hard it is to try to summarize the show to someone. There are so many multi-layered stories going on at the same time with sadness, angst, love, and forgiveness. It is also an added bonus that this show is inherently diverse because it is supposed to take place in Miami, so there are people of color in many socio-economic statuses. This show continues to pull on my heartstrings. Even though I only found the show around September 2015, this show has had such an impact on me because I found it just in time to help prepare me emotionally for my parent’s divorce that I found out about on 1/31/16. Even though it isn’t the *most* realistic show ever, it prepared me for the divorce by showing me elements of what real love is, and that my parent’s marriage wasn’t working. I am immensely grateful that I decided to watch the pilot while fiddling around on Netflix looking for something new to watch. I clicked on it because I had heard of it once or twice before, though I don’t remember where I heard about it. I also just really appreciate the way this show has been able to tackle relevant issues such as bringing up abortion as a viable and OK option, as well as normalized feminism :)

Grey’s Anatomy (Thursdays @ 8 on ABC)- While I probably won’t continue watching this show anymore, I am not sad that the show seems to be coming to a close now that it’s in it’s 13th season. Possibly most of the reason that I still watch is because it reminds me of some time I got to spend with my older sister. I love this show for quotes, catching medical terminology that I know, relatively realistic relationship ideals, and just appreciating the deep backstories of most of the characters. In some ways, I would call this my guilt pleasure show because it is all about nostalgia, and unrealistic career goals to me. This is by far, the show I’ve been watching the longest out of those listed here. This is the show I binge watched on Netflix in the anticipation of entering high school. With some of the older characters, they feel like family to be. My affinity for Grey’s Anatomy came full circle when I met Addison (Kate Walsh) at a debate party for Hillary Clinton in my tiny hometown, and we took a few pictures and talked, and exchanged a few looks of disbelief from across the small party room while watching the debate. This show does make me a little sad because it reminds me that the best days have already come and gone:/ This is one of the only shows that I keep watching every Thursday because of nostalgia, and to mentally check out of the world for an extra hour. My first encounter with the show was flipping through channels at my Grandma’s house with my sister, and stumbling upon the episode where a black man and a white lady both get impaled, and only one can live. Years later, I would catch my sister watching Grey’s Anatomy, and when I was about 13, I started to join in. I always thought my sister was dumb for crying when the characters would get hurt, but I get it now.

I also religiously watch The Blacklist, Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder. I try not no get into too many shows at once, because I tend to get a little obsessed.

#idk why i wrote this #but it was fun to write

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