#and i didnt think critically or with much stress about it til 19!

[aarondinglestears]

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#i cant shake my disconnect with liv's sl being about the age #just thinking back on being 15-16 and how no one was especially horned up or anything #maybe its because i was at a private/religious school but we WERE normal teenagers in most senses #maybe its because i never socialized outside of school in co-ed environments so i wasnt exposed to that behavior #whatever the case i didnt have that deep insecurity and angst about my lack of attraction til i was 17-18 #and i didnt think critically or with much stress about it til 19! #im afraid this sl might actually .. somehow .. rewrite my own memory about the events in my life bc it might somehow persuade me that #things evolved differently or due to different factors than maybe they actually did? #because when fiction helps u look at things in a dif way it can also help u put ur experiences in a new light #and that shift in perspective doesnt necessarily cancel out the narrative u first constructed but it can definitely change it #i think thats something that happens when u become too deeply invested in fiction but i also think its a natural consequence of our desire #to narrativize our lives which ive always seen as kind of strange and silly - bc we !shouldnt! commit to 1 single narrative #anyway getting back to my point im mostly afraid that her recognition of who/what she is will be premature and that a few years down the lin #e #she will be like /oh no i was just too young to know what i was and trying to fit into some framework but as i age im realizing that im not #what i first thought or jumped to when i was six-fucking-teen/ #i dont want to construe this as negativity about this sl its just my anxiety about it being done in a way that feels true to life #and naturally the problem with any sl about minority rep is everyone has dif experiences within the minority identity so u cant please every #one