#and i am using the company of videos and stories to soothe the Invisible Tigers

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the problem with not having any new fics to read bc they havent been posted yet is that when Invisible Tigers Are Hunting You, there is no distraction

#this Baseless Fear that sometimes strikes me #reminding me of my mortality and making believe it is deeply immediate despite how illogical it is #Is Getting Real Fuckin Old! #i gotta grip onto the reminder that i am Only Twenty. i have my whole life ahead of me probably. #there is Time. things will get better. someday i will Accomplish Things. #i will turn around and wish i could visit past (current) me and say It Does Get Better And You Will Not Only Exist But Live. I Love You. #but for tonight i feel very small and scared #and i am using the company of videos and stories to soothe the Invisible Tigers #i think i will.... reread some fics.... perhaps... #i havent reread stamps yet.... ill go do that #get my laughingstock crumbs #ill put on birdsong in the bg #im borrowing my friends lovely headphones. i Need some of my own. earbuds just dont do it anymore #especially since theyre noise canceling. Yummy #theyre helping immensely i think #absolutely unprompted #sorry for once again Venting on Main #i am very tired and have no other outlet <3 #its 4 am. i have to get up in 7 hours. i am still too terrified to sleep #but its okay its Fine this night will Pass #thats half the fear but all the same. there are Good Things in my future. i have hope theyre there. theyre waiting for me. #ill figure it out Ill Figure It Out. #we all will! #we'll all get there. someday before the end.