#and he has gone on to be continually racist and brush off anything i've brought up in family conversations about racism

[piplupod]

re: prev post, just an anecdote of my family's bs

i remember when i was trying to have a conversation w my family, esp my brother, a while back (last year) about the prev post's topic, and ohhh my fucking god. it was one of the worst convos I've ever had with them. my brother was whining about how difficult it was to not be racist and to know what qualifies as racist and what's "okay to say" etc (along with ableism, but racism was the main point of that convo at that point), so I said he just needed to go searching out some musicians and podcasters and streamers of colour and you'd pretty quickly diversify your media intake and pick up good habits and good viewpoints just through that one simple action. it's like,,, really not that hard to find POC to subscribe to/follow if you do a simple look-around in your usual spaces u spend time in on the internet.

and he said, and I quote, "i'm going to be honest, i just don't care enough to do that" and yet he had just been whining about how hard it is to not be racist and how he was stressed because people kept telling him he was being racist,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, head in my hands !!!!!! he went on to explain just how little he actually cared and how it seemed like too much work to him even though he'd literally just been complaining to me for like 20 full minutes about how he was so stressed and didn't like people telling him he was racist.

like i know what he wanted to hear was "its okay if ur racist, im sure ur just doing ur best :)" but i'm not going to fucking say that to him. even if it would make me safer in this hell house, i am not going to fucking affirm anyone's comfort in being racist.

#this family drives me nuts. i lost all respect for my brother that day ngl #and he has gone on to be continually racist and brush off anything i've brought up in family conversations about racism #like that one youtuber that he and another brother love so much that is white and bastardizing an indigenous spirit for profit #he got so fucking mad when i said the words ''white saviourism'' fdsjjkl i saw smth in him just snap when i said that about the youtuber #and then he uses ''tribal savages'' in his DnD campaigns and i'm just....... so tired. having to listen to him excitedly explain his- #-new campaign that he came up with and he's yet again using the tribal savage horrific stereotypes #and if i say shit about that then i get yelled at by the rest of the family and made to feel like im oversensitive and crazy #anyways. wah wah poor me etc. im sure this is somewhat normal and nowhere near the difficulties other ppl face #i just rly hate trying to slooowly teach them and suggest the tiniest steps towards being less racist and they get so fucking angry at me #im still smarting over yesterday bc i had to hold my tongue through a lot of shit and i feel awful about it #i want to teach them so they aren't going thru the world hurting ppl but i have to weigh my safety against it #and tbh they are not receptive anyways so i'd just be throwing away my safety for no real progress w them #but i feel like i have to try idk !!!! if i don't try then nobody in this family has any real hope of improving !!! #god knows theyre not going to take the initiative themselves. thats been proven repeatedly over my goddamn lifetime #sigh. head in my hands. tearing my hair out. etc etc etc #pippen needs 2nd breakfast