#and has certainly also lashed out even within her new group of friends/allies (parch and the creature in very dif ways esp 😭)

[rockpaladin]

motw tomorrow. i want to bring back the posting era.

#pulling directly from my dms w hannah bc i’ve been on this for a while #but one of the hardest things and things that make me most anxious about playing cedar is trying to make sure she doesn’t come across as #a joke or as totally off-the-walls with her reactions to people/situations. or like inconsistency w what she says or does in a way #that doesn’t come across as a deliberate character choice. and i definitely don’t want her to feel stagnant #like. she’s been pretty bratty and unwelcoming to jessamine and even a little bit sam! who was one of her best friends #and has certainly also lashed out even within her new group of friends/allies (parch and the creature in very dif ways esp 😭) #so when hannah was like ‘should jessamine be worse?’ worried that making someone cedar’s so pissed with seem like. kind of fine. is shitty #but the thing is i think cedar is uh #she has a lot of rage and unpacked trauma from the shit w the red riders that she doesn’t know what to do with #which has totally fucked w her ability to analyze the situation and relationships she had and has formed so she #doesn’t know how to feel and therefore act towards them? #which. maybe ooc is an annoying character choice for me to make but. #she sure can’t form a clear internal stance on Any of the people she used to love and trust more than anyone! #and like. everyone else doesn’t really care if isaiah dies and she doesn’t KNOW how she feels about him but #she’s stuck ​wavering between being viciously angry at isaiah & still being so upset that she can't even talk about what's happening to him #so. this next session or two is certainly going to push to SOME sort of breaking point! #and then of course there’s all our agonies. but that’s for a separate post. #motwinchester #cedar