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canichangemyblogname · 9 months

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So I recently watched seasons one and two of Heartstopper because friends of mine insisted I should watch it and that I would like it. I thought it was a cute, sappy teen romance (which is literally the point of the show). I also thought the representation and the messages are fairly strong, so if this is a genre that you or your child enjoys, then it'll be a lovely show to watch.

I have seen many queer people online criticize the relationships in the show for being "cringy" and for Charlie and Nick's relationship being very clingy and sappy. Such a critique is missing the point of the show, so if that's your hesitation about watching it, my scrutiny of this critique is below:

One of the most common replies I've seen in response to the critique that Nick and Charlie are too clingy and sappy and cringy is, "Oh, c'mon! Don't you remember your first serious relationship when you were a teen?" And I think that's actually rather unhelpful because, no, a lot of the queer adults watching this show and critiquing these teen romances as "cringy" and "clingy" do not remember their first serious relationship as a teen because they never experienced a teen romance. So, if you want to draw connections to how Nick and Charlie are a fairly accurate portrayal of young romance, you'll need to take a different route because a lot of the people who are watching this show never experienced young romance *because* they're queer. Many others are watching this show through the eyes of an adult and contextualizing Nick and Charlie's relationship through their own experience of figuring themselves out as an adult while having the emotional maturity and communication skills of an adult.

In the show, there is a clear distinction between how adults communicate and approach relationships and how children communicate and approach relationships. This is why I am most fond of Coach Singh, Mr. Ajayi, and Mr. Farouk and the representation they bring to the show. And I've found that the majority of older queer people watching Heartstopper and commenting about the show online are also very fond of these characters. These characters represent a comfort in one's sexuality and an emotional maturation that can come with time. They're examples of healthy adult queer relationships and examples of the ways that adults can communicate their feelings in healthy ways. Characters like Coach Singh, Mr. Ajayi, and Mr. Farouk have put in the work to figure themselves out and communicate their needs, while characters like Nick, Charlie, Darcy, Ben, Tao, Tara, Aled etc... are still learning how to communicate and learning who they are. Because those characters are literal children. If I'm not mistaken, they're supposed to be 14/15 years old.

Personally, I found that Mr. Ajayi and Mr. Farouk's relationship captures well the awkwardness, trepidation, and newness that adults can experience in relationships with each other. And while, yes, they're tertiary characters in the show, so the development of their relationship takes a back seat to the kids' developments, it also felt like the way they handled this awkwardness and trepidation differed from that of the kids *because* they're adults and *because* they've learned how to better communicate and are secure in who they are. Their feelings didn't seem as consuming and existential because their feelings weren't as big and new as they are when you experience them for the first time. People are forgetting that Nick and Charlie are experiencing these big feelings for the first time with little to no guidance on feeling these intense feelings for each other because they're queer, and most adults in their life model heterosexual relationships.

This is literally their first love and their first major relationship. All their emotions are very new and feel very big and overwhelming. They don't have a guidebook but do know they feel intensely for each other. They also know that there's for sure at least one other person in their life, at their school, and around their age who is experiencing these same intense feelings for someone of the same sex. It's clear there aren't very many openly queer kids at their school. There seem to be no other (openly) queer couples at Truham. Who better to relate to than each other?

Nick and Charlie are in grammar school, according to the show. For my US followers, that means something different in the UK. It's essentially a High School that admits students based on academic ability. Meaning, this story is taking place at a secondary school with kids between the ages of 14-17. Personally, if there's anything I remember from secondary school, especially as someone who was never coupled and was questioning whether I may be aro/ace, it is that the young couples around me were often clingy and awkward, and, at times, they said or did things which we look back at and find embarrassing. And that is okay. Because they're teenagers.

I remember having to reroute to different stairwells to get to class because two kids were making out and blocking the way up. I remember pushing past couples in doorways to get into class. I remember overhearing couples tell each other to stay "one more minute" before splitting up for different classes. I remember hearing them say that they were going to miss each other or that they missed each other because they had separate classes. I remember teachers yelling, "Get to class. You'll see each other in 45 minutes." Like... a girl sitting next to me at lunch once shoved a handful of Lays potato chips into her mouth to avoid talking to a guy she had a crush on. I remember the way kids communicated with crushes, and by "communicate," I mean they didn't at all. I remember couples dating exclusively for two weeks before breaking up.

Remembering these things helps me keep in mind how a young romance may take shape despite never having experienced young romance myself. That is how I can recognize that Nick and Charlie managing a "Hi," "Hi," "You wanna come around my place Saturday" is actually leagues ahead in communication skills compared to how young romance often works. It feels awkward because they are and because they're teenagers still trying to figure things out. But... let's be so fucking for real. Nick actually talking to Charlie about his full-on gay crises, Charlie talking to Nick about his ED and self-harm, and Charlie's patience and understanding about Nick figuring himself out and coming out on his own terms show that these boys have incredible communication and empathy skills. These children are wildly emotionally intelligent, have some really hard conversations with each other, and communicate fairly well with their struggles, and I think that is the most "unrealistic" aspect of the show. The support and love and space they have are what's actually unrealistic, but purposefully so. That's what makes this show so heart-wrenching for queer people who never got to experience this as children.

For a show whose plot relies on the tension caused by emotional struggle and uncertainty, these kids are doing really well to express themselves. And because the show's plot relies on the tension caused by emotional struggle and uncertainty, the resolution will always be the characters working through that struggle, that awkwardness, or that uncertainty. So, if your critique of the show is that the characters are "cringe-ly" expressing themselves ("Who says 'I'm having a proper, full-on gay crisis,' lol, no one speaks like that"), then I think you've missed how this genre is supposed to operate. The plot of this show revolves around these children learning how to communicate and finding who they are. It's literally a coming-of-age story. If your critique is that the characters have not learned the things- like communication, boundaries, and who they are- that coming of age supposedly teaches you, you lack media literacy. These cannot be serious critiques of the show.

If you don't like these aspects of the show, I think you might not like the genre.

Also, from what I understand (SPOILERS for the comics, ig), the clinginess of Nick and Charlie's relationship is a plot point in the comics and something the two of them end up needing to work through when the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship ends in order for their relationship to mature and grow. Friends of mine have explained that the show is very faithful to the comics, so I assume that the show would also head in this direction.

#Heartstopper

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illatreal · 2 years

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Heartstopper, an essay by me that probably no-one will ever read. (Spoiler alert, obviously, if you haven’t read or watched the series)

(PART 8)

So it’s been a really long, shit week at work and I never got around to part 8. Frankly, I don’t think I have the energy to write much - I just want to curl up in a ball and watch ‘Heartstopper’ over and over until I feel human again. So here are just some thoughts jotted down without any real structure or expansion

Teachers, Parents, Siblings

Mr Ajayi (Fisayo Akinade) - everyone wishes they had a teacher like this. Always there with an open door and a friendly ear. Willing to give out advice even when it’s not what you want hear. Doesn’t ever push Charlie to tell him more but just creates a really open, supportive environment so that when Charlie is ready he knows that Mr Ajayi will be there for him. Wears the pride flag on his uniform so any student knows that they have his support

Coach Singh (Chetna Pandya) - strict but caring. Looking forward to hopefully being able to see the scene between Nick and her if we get a second season where she talks about meeting her partner through rugby and offering support if anyone gives him shit about his relationship with Charlie

Nick’s Mum, Sarah Nelson (Olivia Colman) - ICONIC. There is great chemistry between Olivia and Kit in the sweet scenes between Nick and his mum throughout. Such tender motherly concern and affection. The kind of supportive parent any kid wants and such a beautiful reaction to Nick coming out: “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that!” *hugs* “You don’t have to say you like girls if you don’t” “Oh, I love you!” *hugs*. Love that Joe Locke has on his instagram bio that Olivia Colman is his mother in law - I mean, the dream right?

Charlie’s Dad, Julio Spring (Joseph Balderrama) - protective, sweet, there for his son. Worried about Charlie because he knows how hard things were for him at school last year and just wants his son to know that he is supported

Tao’s Mum, Yan Xu (Momo Yeung) - such a sweetie. I definitely want a cup of tea, thanks Mrs Xu. Just adores Elle and is the biggest shipper of Tao and Elle together (Keep the door open *wink*)

Charlie’s Sister, Tori Spring (Jenny Walser) - great energy and, for lack of a better word, vibe. Always a fan of deadpan. Sibling teasing but with genuine affection, love and care thrown in. Tori knows what’s up: “I don’t think he’s straight” *Charlie and Nick get together* “Called it”. There for Charlie at his lowest point: “And I just feel like maybe I do just ruin people’s lives, and it would be better if I didn’t exist” “You’re not ruining my life!” *sister hug* - such a beautiful, poignant scene and so beautifully acted by Joe and Jenny.

Nellie (Echo) - what a little sweetheart. Emotional support dog. I’m sure Echo got all the love and attention. Joe is totally jealous that Echo loves Kit more. The best doggo who deserves all the pats

Miscellaneous

Supportive friends and the concept of found family - just so important to see represented for young people. Find those who lift you up and make you shine with their love.

Rainbow motif - some of my favourite examples include: Nick and Charlie’s first meeting (camera catching the light), Tara and Darcy’s kiss at Harry’s party (lights from DJ + confetti), Tao and Elle’s sports day moment (camera catching the light), Nick and Charlie’s beach date (rainbow behind the train station), Alice Oseman drawing Nick and Charlie on the train (rainbow on her back pack)

Graphic novel elements - used to provide insight into the characters emotions/feelings throughout e.g. hearts (yes Elle, you do love Tao); butterflies (yes Tao, you do love Elle), flowers, leaves, sparks (just hold his hand, you know you want to); framing (pink for happy fantasies and black for darker imaginings). Love that even though the storyline is stretched out and rearranged a little bit (to add drama and to add a bit more realism to Nick’s journey of self discovery) there are still so many scenes that are practically shot for shot from the web comic.

Music choices - what an incredible soundtrack. The music really suits the style of the film and always helps to create the right atmosphere instead of detracting/distraction from the fabulous actors. The whole cast seems especially supportive of Baby Queen who wrote ‘Colours of You’ specifically for ‘Heart Stopper’ and who’s other music is featured throughout.

The realisation that I have the haircut of a teenage boy and I’m not even mad about it. Not a rugby lad although I do enjoy an oversized sweatshirt from time to time.

This was still really long. Sorry

Everyone deserves happiness and our differences should be celebrated!!!!!! <3

P.S. If Stephen Fry is the principal of the all boys school, does that make Sandi Toksvig the principal of the all girls school?

#heartstopper #alice oseman #charlie spring #nick nelson #lgbtq

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