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fandomficsnstuff · 2 years

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Across Time -28

Summary: Infiltrating the Ministry of Magic for the locket was hard enough, but what will you do when the time turner you were wearing starts to spin as you’re apparating out of there in a panic? Letting go of your friend’s hand to stop it turning, you land on soft grass, hitting your head on something hard and knocking out. When you come to, you’re in a cabin with an old man, eyes crystal blue as he takes care of you, speaking a language you’d never heard before, he introduces himself as Ragnar after you’ve cast a spell to understand his language. You travel to a small town with him, everyone is dressed as though you’re in the ninth century and you're greeted by four men, all of them sharing the clear blue eyes of the man you had been travelling with, all with the same colored hair, all except for one of these men. Raven black hair and the most blue eyes you’ve ever seen, even the whites of his eyes are blue. Ragnar introduces you to Ivar, the raven haired cripple who is one of his sons. As you travel to England in hope of finding a way back, you realise that this was not your England, not the one you grew up in. Defeated, you return to Kattegat with Ivar but soon he figures out, as Ragnar did, that you are not quite all you seem. How will you get home, if ever? A broken time turner, stuck in a time before your own, how can you fix the time turner and get back to your friends before it’s too late?

(Warnings: a lil bit of rough smut:3 some angst and some happy news:D)

Credit for the moodboard goes to @quantumlocked310

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“May I be the first to congratulate the bride and the groom, on this momentous day? Skål” Ivar lifted his cup as he spoke, his other hand on your upper thigh to silently let you know his mind was still on you, not Katia. He had done this during the ceremony as well, standing behind you, an arm wrapped around your waist, hand splayed out proudly over your stomach, his chin on your shoulder, occasionally kissing your neck gently just to remind you that he kept his attention on you instead of her, it was sweet. You lifted your cup, repeated his last word and took a small sip, putting the goblet down and placing your hand over his, lacing your fingers through his with a soft smile. “And may Odín, Frey and Freya also bless our marriage” Oleg stated casually, his eyes turning to Katia as she spoke “yes, to Odín, the Allfather, and to Frey and Freya” bloody hell her voice was like nails on a chalkboard for you, your soft smile subtly gone as you took a sip of your drink to mask your displeased look. “To Odín, and the Gods. May your marriage be as beautiful as mine is, skål” Ivar stated and glanced at you, seeing you smile softly as you picked up your goblet again and took a sip, all while keeping eye contact with Ivar, a smirk tugging at your lips as he smiled softly at you, his hand gripping your hand a tiny bit tighter for a brief second. That brief second was shot down when Oleg spoke up, however “Katia told me she reminds you of someone” at Oleg’s words you couldn’t help but to tense, wanting nothing more than to leave that woman behind, leave her in Kattegat, but no, apparently she decided to haunt you here in Kiev as well. Ivar hesitantly looked at Katia before looking at you, sighing as he looked down briefly, probably silently regretting his entire existence, before looking up again, nodding “yes… a woman I met before I married my wife, I almost considered marrying her, but luckily I didn’t” Ivar admitted, cast a glance at you to see if you were ready to chop his head off or if a single hex would do for now, finding you with a displeased look on your face, though it wasn’t aimed at him. “I see, would you have had a child with her if she had been your wife?” Oleg asked and you nearly spat out your drink into the goblet at his words, eyes wide as you stared Oleg down with a burning glare, hand itching to grab your wand and sew his mouth shut. “Or, would you have taken her as a second wife?” Oleg asked further, your eyes moving to an equally shocked Ivar, studying his expression, how taken aback he was so you decided to take the lead, your eyes moving back to Oleg “no, he wouldn’t, I would have hexed her before she could even have offered” you stated harshly, glancing at Katia with a burning glare before looking away from them both.

Your eyes were drawn back to Katia as she stood up, approaching Oleg, standing next to him “do you mind if I take off this dress? It is hot in here” she asked, Oleg nodded “of course, my darling. I’m sure Ivar and (Y/N) won’t mind” like it was as simple as her asking to be excused. You looked at Ivar who looked at you with a questioning brow raised, mimicking probably your exact expression of ‘what the bloody hell kind of party is this?!’. “Ivar can help” you glared at Katia as she approached Ivar, turning her back to him “can you undo it? Ivar?” before she could say anything else you had stood up, grabbed her by her neck and pushed her against a column, pressing your hand against her throat, not enough to choke her but certainly enough to get your point across. “What did I tell you? Do you have the memory of a bloody child?! I said ‘come near my husband and I’ll turn you into your worst nightmare’” you growled, getting up in her face as she looked at you with fear, your wand pointed at her face, pressing against her cheek threateningly “those things you’ve heard about me, weren’t just rumours. I can make your head blow up, your lovely brains splattering all over the entire room, I can make your face swell up as though you’ve been beaten and injected with poison and then stung by bees, I can put you through unimaginable pain that will make you feel as though you’re going to have your heart ripped out from your chest while it’s still beating, if there even is a heart in there. So stay away from my husband, or I’ll show you exactly the spells I used to duel witches darker than your soul, and just remember, I won those duels” you growled, finally taking a large step back, letting go of her in the process, turning to face a very shocked Oleg while Katia was gasping on the floor. “As for you, keep her on a short leash or I’ll cut off your dick and put it in a stew for a potion which I’ll make her drink” you snapped, turning to Ivar next, all of your anger vanishing when you saw the dark smirk he gave you.

You couldn’t help but smirk back, glancing at a still frightened Katia before looking back at Ivar, leaning down and kissing him passionately before standing up and nodding towards the direction of your shared room, Ivar quickly standing up, watching you already walking away from him, casting a smirk over your shoulder. Ivar quickly looked back at Oleg with a smirk “excuse me” he said and then hurried after you to your room.

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Since you had a head start, the second you got inside you began to undo the laces of your dress, giving yourself a brief glance in the mirror, ruffling up your hair a bit and when Ivar finally entered, you smirked at him, watching him as he practically slammed the door shut and hurried over to you, throwing his crutch to the ground and pressing his lips against yours with passion, pressing you against the nearest wall, one of your legs hiking up over his hip, his hand gripping it roughly as he trailed kisses down your neck and chest. You couldn’t help but laugh as his kisses got more eager, his lips trailing back up and finding your lips as he gave you a desperate kiss that made you moan into his mouth, your arms gripping his shoulders to steady yourself until you parted from him, a grin on your lips as Ivar smirked at you, his hands gripping your hips as he turned you around to face the wall, a breathy chuckle leaving your lips as you closed your eyes in enjoyment, enjoying the feel of his hands groping your arse however he wanted, his eager kisses as he practically ripped your dress apart, baring your back to him, his kisses trailing down your spine. You felt Ivar hike up your dress to your hips, your hands eagerly helping him until you felt one of his hands run over the scar on your side, your entire body tensing as Ivar gently traced it with his fingers, noticing how nervous you got concerning it. You felt Ivar’s lips on your shoulder, softly kissing your skin as he continued to feel around the scar, his fingers trailing to the more recent one on your stomach, the aftermath of what caused you to lose Balder. “How can you live if you do not have scars, hm?” his soft voice made you tense a tiny bit less, tears forming in your eyes but you forced yourself to place your hand over his own, allowing him to feel the recent scar on your stomach, Ivar resuming his gentle kisses along your shoulder and spine. Ivar used his other hand to brush your hair aside, kissing behind your ear as his hand moved from your stomach to between your legs, his actions much more gentle than before, your eyes shutting in pleasure again as you felt two of his fingers enter you, pumping in and out of you at a slow pace, soft, breathy moans spilling from your lips as you enjoyed Ivar’s touch, his lips behind your ear as he whispered sweet praises and words to you, reassuring you as he slowly worked you closer and closer to the edge, finally pulling away as you were about to topple over but you had expected that from him, you knew he liked to feel you crash over the edge in the most intimate way, you knew you’d get your release in the end. You moaned quietly as you felt him push into you, parting your soaked walls, your warmth encasing him and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as Ivar’s kisses on your neck got more desperate, his hand once again placing itself over the scar on your stomach as he moved his hips, his other hand gripping the windowsill beside you so he could stay upright.

You almost asked if it would be more comfortable for him to lay down or even sit but you didn’t get a chance to ask, Ivar’s hips roughly snapping against yours, drawing out a loud moan from you that made him smirk with pride. Your hands grasped at the wall for something to hold onto as Ivar kept his ruthless pace, drawing out endless moans from your lips, whispering sweet words to you with each lovebite he gave your shoulders, neck and back, gifts you gladly accepted with open arms as you got closer and closer to that edge with Ivar. At one point Ivar’s hand left the windowsill to grab your shoulder, using it as an anchor to thrust into you even harder, chasing his own high as well as yours until he stilled inside of you, groaning against your skin as he left desperate kisses on your shoulder while your legs were shaking, walls convulsing around him as you couldn’t help but grin with uphoria, panting heavily as you tried to catch your breath, your skin just as sweaty as Ivar’s as the two of you just enjoyed each other’s embrace, unaware of the glaring eyes that had creaked the door open to watch, quietly closing it as you leaned your head back on Ivar’s shoulder and hummed quietly as he kissed your cheek. “I love you” you whispered, hearing Ivar chuckle breathlessly, placing yet another kiss to your cheek as he enjoyed feeling your tired walls still convulse around him every now and then. “And I love you… and now, I am certain you are with child” he stated jokingly, a laughter spilling from your lips that sounded so beautiful to him, like music played by the Gods themselves to him.

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You whimpered quietly as Ivar pulled out of you but before you could fix your clothes, Ivar turned you around and threw you on the bed, smirking at you as you laughed and leaned against your elbows while raising an eyebrow at him. Ivar leaned down and kissed you softly, your hand cupping his cheek in enjoyment before allowing him to pull away, helping you out of your torn dress, Ivar staring at your naked body with hunger as you rolled your eyes at him with amusement, crawling under the furs and opening them, a silent invitation that Ivar smirked at.

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“Are you sure about this Hermione?” Ron asked with a nervous look, Hermione sighing softly as she nodded, mostly to herself, an attempt at convincing herself that this would definitely work. She looked over at George, studying his hollow look that he had since the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione’s eyes tearing up at the memory, determined to not lose another friend, at least not without knowing she was safe and happy. Hermione put the tiny device that George had created on the Time Turner, attaching it to the turner itself, casting a nervous glance at George who got up to help. “It’s set to turn the exact amount of times you’ve told me… should take you right back to where she is, give or take a few days and months” George explained, Hermione nodding softly at him as she put the chain around Harry and Ron as well as herself, all of them making sure they had everything they needed. “All those years of making jokes paid off” George muttered with a glum look before taking a step back and nodding at Hermione, seeing her nod in return, giving him a wave as a farewell as George turned around and left, it took a while for the device to finally reach the correct amount of times, but since it was also magical, it luckily didn’t take an hour like Hermione had dreaded. All three of them watched everything change around them, seasons, trees growing shorter and shorter, everything felt surreal as they stood in the forest, Hermione and Harry remembered the experience from their third year but this was different, this seemed as though it went on for hours, everything hurrying past them, going backwards as Ron nervously eyed everything, hoping and praying the tiny device George had created and enchanted would hold.

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You battled through the snowy wind, hurrying to the hall where you knew Ivar was, practically storming inside, seeing all of them sitting by a table, a huge grin on your lips as you looked at Ivar. You hurried over to him and kneeled down, tears in your eyes as you cupped his cheeks in your cold hands, but he didn’t seem to mind, he was more curious as to what could make you so happy that you were crying. And then it hit him, harder than the Hogwarts Express. “Are you-...” Ivar cut himself off as you nodded eagerly, tears in your eyes as you hugged Ivar tightly, that same grin still on your lips, pure joy radiating out of you. “What is it?” Igor asked through his doll, your smile turning to him as you and Ivar parted “I’m pregnant” you announced, Ivar staring at you with utter joy, a hand coming to rest over your stomach as he had tears in his eyes. “Nothing will ever happen to this child, I promise” he whispered before leaning closer and catching your lips in a heated but quick kiss, unaware of the displeased look on Oleg’s face at the news. He was just as displeased as he had been when you announced that you could still get pregnant, and now you were, with Ivar’s child, not his. Oleg forced a smile and bowed his head at you and Ivar, forcing a happy look on his face despite the anger that Ivar was the father of what he believed to be a divine child. “Congratulations, it seems a cripple really is capable of fathering a child after all” he stated with a grin and you were too high on your cloud of joy to notice his displeased look aimed at Ivar, his eyes almost green with jealousy, as was Katia’s eyes as she glanced at her husband, taking in the way he studied you when you hugged Ivar again.

“I hope your child grows strong” Katia stated softly, your eyes turning to meet hers and you forced yourself to nod and smile softly, your mood slightly dampened, but maybe she wasn’t all bad, but then again, maybe she was. “Well, I believe celebrations are in order! If you do not mind, I would be honoured to host a party to celebrate” Oleg stated proudly, a small smile tugging at your lips as you glanced at Ivar before looking back at Oleg “that’s kind of you to offer, but I think Ivar and I would like for it to not be an entire celebration, if anything, just a small celebration would be enough…” you stated softly, looking at Ivar who was still smiling at you, one of his hands coming up and stroking your cheek softly and gently with complete and utter adoration that caused Katia to look away in slight annoyance. “Whatever you wish, dear wife” Ivar whispered and you couldn’t help but chuckle gently, kissing his lips briefly before getting settled at his side, his hand firmly in yours.

“I want to skate on frozen ponds, I want to cut the throat of the first pig, and I want to hang the mistletoe for the Christ-Mass” Igor spoke through his doll as he moved it’s arms, a chuckle leaving you as you watched him with a smile “sounds wonderful. I remember one time Hermione and I skated across the lake one winter, bloody hell we had so much fun, she nearly tripped a few times but we couldn’t stop laughing” you stated sweetly, leaning against Ivar who happily put his head on yours, eyes closed for just a second as he enjoyed your presence so close to his. “And I want to bathe naked in a hot spring… with hot steam rising, but ice and snow all around. And my breath will be a geyser, and my soul will bathe there and slake it’s thirst” Katia stated as she looked at Ivar with a smile you didn’t like, subtly squeezing Ivar’s hand to let you know of the uncomfortable feeling you had and luckily, Ivar squeezed your hand in return, a smile forming on your lips. “And you, dear Ivar and (Y/N), the future rulers of all Scandinavia… what would the two of you like?” Oleg asked, a slick mocking tone when he called you rulers of all Scandinavia but you ignored it, softly shrugging your shoulders as you looked up at Ivar before looking to Igor “I want to go skate with Igor, see who is the fastest of us” you said with a daring smirk, hearing Igor laugh dramatically through his doll’s voice “what a fool you are, challenging me” he stated and you giggled “we’ll see, golden boy” you said teasingly, Igor laughing quietly as Ivar enjoyed the interaction between the two of you. Ivar once again turned his attention to Oleg to answer the question that had also been asked of him “I would like to walk, so I could hold my child while I walk through Kattegat and tell him the stories of our Gods” Ivar stated and glanced at you with a soft look, taking in how beautiful you looked, smiling at him with a small amount of sympathy that he only accepted form you.

The moment however was ruined when Oleg began to laugh as though it was the funniest thing he had ever heard, annoyance taking root in you, your blissful mood slightly ruined thanks to him. “That would be a miracle” Oleg stated through his laughter, but Ivar kept his composure, merely narrowing his eyes at Oleg a tiny bit, not enough for it to be easily noticed “I’ve heard your God performs miracles… Jesus Christ raised a man from the dead. He made a lame man walk, he fed a thousand people with just a few loaves and fish, I don’t think it’s too much to ask of him to cure a simple cripple, is it?” Ivar asked a bit annoyed, but he quickly calmed down when he felt your other hand on his shoulder, though his gaze stayed locked on Oleg who was silent for a second or two “we will all pray for that miracle, Ivar the Boneless” Oleg stated calmly. You glanced over your shoulder at Katia, seeing her quickly look away from Ivar, your eyes burning a metaphorical hole in her forehead before turning your attention back on Ivar as he spoke up again. “What about you, Prince Oleg? What is it that amuses you? What is it that you really want?” Ivar asked as he lifted his small glass, taking a sip from it before offering it to you with a soft smile that made Oleg’s mood sour a little bit, especially as you took the glass and took a sip of it yourself, still leaning against Ivar, clinging to him with so much love and adoration. “As usual, I want the impossible,” Oleg stated as his eyes drifted to you and your stomach where he knew your child was, before looking down as he continued “I want to go back into my mother’s womb… I want to float there in that small, limitless universe… among the stars… with no beginning, no end… waiting for the new world to begin…” Ivar glanced at you with a raised brow, taking in your expression that screamed ‘what in the actual fuck’ to him, but was a polite facade for the others, he took pride in the perk that he knew you so thoroughly, after all, he had known you for four years, almost two years of mariage and a further two years before marrying you.

“I know we have all been here before, we’re constantly reborn… it’s what I believe…” Oleg continued as he stared off to the side, at nothing in particular, but then his head turned, a dark gaze in his eyes as he glanced at you but settled his eyes on Ivar “don’t you, Ivar?” he asked coldly. Ivar glanced at you before looking back at Oleg, nodding briefly “yes, that’s also what I believe” he stated, clutching your hand under the table, just like you usually did when you were uncomfortable, and just as he did, you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

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You couldn’t stop laughing as you skated around in the small ring with Igor, occasionally teasingly pushing him only to be pushed in return, but neither of you fell to meet the cold ice. You couldn’t help but look up at Ivar who was watching from above, giving him a small wave and as you waited for one in return, Igor saw his opportunity and nudged your side, causing you to almost fall but you managed to keep your balance, eyes wide as you feigned shock at Igor. “Igor! Is that how you people of Kiev behave? You should be ashamed of yourself!” you teased, hearing him laugh in return when you hurried towards him, trying to catch him, letting him move out of the way on purpose, continuing to laugh with the boy and occasionally tease him as he teased you. “Igor, want to see a trick?” you asked with a smirk, seeing him nod eagerly, causing you to nod as well. You skated to the middle of the small circle and began to spin just as Hermione had told you and showed you back at Hogwarts, a grin on your face as you continuing to spin for a while before skating over to Igor as people clapped, bowing with him as the two of you continued to laugh as you tried to teach him, unaware of the man talking with Ivar as he watched you lovingly, clapping at your performance with a soft smile of his own. Igor noticed however, and he told you he was taking a break while you should continue, so you did, noticing a few of the small children watching, some wanted to join but were too nervous, so you skated closer as Igor ran up to Ivar. You got out your wand and waved it at one little girl’s shoes, helping her out in the ring as you had created ice-made blades on her feet, people murmuring in wonder and amazement as you slowly guided the girl out on the ice, chuckling with her while Ivar and Igor watched you with a smile each. You chuckled as the little girl clutched your hands as she found her footing, slowly letting go and soon she was skating around on her own, laughing and giggling as you turned to the rest of the bunch of children, waving them over and waving your wand at those who stepped forward, people cheering as the same ice-made blades formed under their shoes, allowing them to skate around in the small ring as you watched and chuckled, looking as beautiful as always as Ivar watched you with pure adoration.

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You couldn’t help but smile down at your stomach as you walked with Ivar and Igor, your hand still on your stomach out of pure joy, your thumb occasionally stroking your stomach as you had done with Balder, as Ivar had done. It still saddened you to think of him, of what happened, but you had been on the run for almost a year now with Ivar, you couldn't always stay in Kattegat, your head needed to be here, with Ivar. “Where are we going?” Igor asked through his doll, a smile forming on your face as you looked at the boy and Ivar, Ivar was so good with him, it warmed your heart to no end. “We’re going to see Uncle Oleg” Ivar stated, turning his head to look at you to make sure you were by his side, which of course you were, giving him a soft smile as he looked back at Igor who spoke up “about what?” you chuckled lightly as Igor continued to speak through the doll that hung around him, moving it’s arms in a way you found adorable, you loved it when Igor was enjoying himself. “I don’t know, Oleg is an enigma” Ivar stated casually and you raised your brows at him “that’s a big word” you teased, Ivar shrugging casually as he smirked at you “just trying to impress you” he stated, making you roll your eyes as you knew he was just being playful, he impressed you every day after all. “What’s an ‘igma’?” Igor asked and you tried to stop yourself from grinning at how adorable he was, Ivar smiling amused down at the boy “enigma” Ivar corrected, turning briefly to Igor who continued to speak through his doll “what’s an ‘enigma’?” he asked and raised the dolls hands, Ivar and you chuckling lightly “I’ve no idea” Ivar stated, the two of them laughing quietly until you spoke up “Enigma: a person or thing that is mysterious or difficult to understand. Like a difficult puzzle or mystery” you stated confidently, Ivar smirking at you while Igor shrugged and nodded to himself “yup, that is Uncle Oleg” he stated while Ivar continued to smirk at you, making you smirk back at him “what? Just trying to impress you” you stated casually as you walked ahead of him with Igor, Ivar halting as he admired you before quickly catching up, still smirking as he occasionally cast you a glance or two. “Perhaps Uncle Oleg wants to give me a present” Igor wondered and you shrugged and turned to Ivar who had caught up with you both “perhaps he does” Ivar shrugged as he continued to walk with you on one side and Igor on the other, that is until Igor stopped, the two of you stopping to look at him. “Perhaps he wants to give me half of the sky” Igor stated with a childish smirk, a fond smile on your lips as you watched Ivar approach him, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder as he leaned closer “he cannot give you something that is already yours… remember that, hm?” Ivar gently and teasingly pulled Igor’s hat down as he nodded, the two of them joining you again, Ivar admiring you as you adjusted Igor’s hat to make sure his ears didn’t get cold before continuing on inside the building, not noticing Oleg glaring at the way you motherly cared for Igor.

As you got inside, Oleg waved all three of you over, patting the table in a silent suggestion. You walked with Igor over to sit with him, having promised him to tell him about a big snake inside the castle of Hogwarts that you had once mentioned, Ivar watching you with a fond smile as he took off the heavy clothes that he had worn when outside, his eyes still on you, even as Katia spoke. “Prince Igor, and (Y/N) the Seer and Ivar the Boneless, how very lovely, will you have some tea?”

“Bloody hell that’s the most sensible thing you’ve said since I met you” you let out with a grin, eagerly turning to Ivar who raised a playful brow at you. You pointed playfully at Katia as she approached with the tea and a cup “you know what, she might not be too bad” you joked, Ivar rolling his eyes at you as you looked back at Katia, carefully taking the tea cup from her once it was filled, grinning from ear to ear, which Oleg of course noticed. “You seem familiar with this tea, while Ivar does not” Oleg noted and you took a long and satisfying sip of the tea, nearly moaning as you drank it before putting the cup down as Ivar asked what tea was, your short answer being a plant from Asia, unaware of how Oleg had straightened his posture the second the quiet moan left your lips, while Igor laughed at it with innocence. “Haven’t had tea in years, bloody hell” you mumbled, quickly picking up the tea and taking another sip before putting it down. You turned your attention back to Oleg as he began to talk “I thought you both might be interested in the further plans for the invasion of your countries… I mean of course, our countries” Oleg added with a smirk, but Ivar just glanced at you and nodded briefly “of course” he stated and gestured for Oleg to continue, which he did. “As you know we cannot put our plan into operation until next spring,” Oleg stated but you had begun to tune out, quietly talking with Igor and playing along with his doll, Ivar would fill you in later if it was anything important. You watched Igor with a fond smile as he moved about, first to Katia, which you weren’t fond of, then to Ivar, which brought a smile back on your lips as you watched him play. “What do you say Igor, would you like to come on a raiding party with me?” Ivar asked, your smile growing a tad brighter at his question “I must consult the king, he knows everything” he stated and Ivar smiled and gestured to him to go ahead. While Igor ‘talked’ with the king, you moved over to sit next to Ivar, smiling softly as you put your head on his shoulder “I hope you know that I don’t plan on staying back either” you whispered, Ivar humming quietly as he leaned back into your touch “of course not, my love, how could you ever think that?” he asked quietly and you smirked and gave his cheek a kiss “good” you muttered. Suddenly Oleg slammed his hands into the table and stood up, your entire body flinching, eyes wide in horror as he stormed towards Igor in anger. Oleg grabbed Igor by his clothes and pulled him up while asking him if he was crazy, you almost thought he was going to hit Igor until the tables turned. Igor stood up with the doll, the ‘king’, pushing it towards his face “I am not crazy! I am the king here!! I own everything! THIS TABLE, THIS ROOM, THIS PALACE, I OWN THE WHOLE COUNTRY! I OWN THE LAND AND THE SKY!” Oleg screamed at Igor’s words, grabbing his doll and smashing it to the ground, a gasp leaving your lips, hands over your mouth in shock as Oleg stomped on the doll’s head, breaking it. You watched in horror as he grabbed Igor who tried to run away, pushing him down on the pillows before getting up in his face “don’t ever do that anymore! Don’t be stupid, you’re not a king, you are my ward, I’m responsible for you and without me, you are nothing, less that nothing… Do you understand?” he growled with a sadistic smile on his lips, tears forming in your eyes as you watched him grab Igor’s throat roughly, almost standing up but Ivar held you back, one of his hands on your stomach, silently reminding you that Oleg didn’t care if you were pregnant or not, he’d kill you all the same. “Don’t ever try to make fun of me again, I’ll cut out your tongue and feed your liver to my dogs” Oleg sneered but when you heard Igor gasping for breath you couldn’t just watch anymore, standing up before Ivar could stop you, slowly approaching Oleg “he understands, Oleg… please, you’re choking him!” you pleaded, Oleg turning to stare you down before finally letting go of Igor who quickly ran into your arms. You quickly placed Igor behind you as you

slowly stepped backwards, casting a glance at Ivar, seeing him nod subtly and with that you turned around, grabbed Igor’s hand and ran with him to his room while he sobbed.

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Tags: @youbloodymadgenius @profoundtyrantharmony @draculasbride-blog @heavenly1927 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @nerds4life246

#Ivar x Reader #Vikings FanFic #Across Time #HPcrossover

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itsteaveetime · 6 years

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//And here’s fic #2: general post-factory Mike/Veruca.//

He likes girls. That’s not the problem.

Well, it is a little bit of a problem, but an extremely embarrassing audio book his mom got him, that includes chapters such as ‘Why Am I Sweaty?’, and a general internet inquiry has assured him it’s a normal sort of problem. That even though Ethel said ‘breast’ the other night, entirely in the context of chicken, and as a result, he has felt like he might die for almost two days now, he probably won’t. At least: not of that.

What’s probably not normal is a Russian oligarch on his knees in a front hallway in Normalton, Idaho with his checkbook clasped pleadingly in both hands.

“Pleasssssssssse Mrs. Television,” Oleg Salt begs, despite the fact that they have both told him several times that their last name is not ‘Television’. “You must make him be reasonable.”

Ethel barks out a laugh, because there is no making Mike do anything. There is especially no making Mike do this.

“I will pay you whatever you wish,” Mr. Salt continues. “You do not know what she is like.”

Mike thinks he might have a pretty good idea, and also: the man is not helping himself out saying stuff like that.

“It is all she asks for,” Mr. Salt confides. “And such a little thing-...”

Mike bristles, the corners of his mouth turning down into a frown.

“...a small request!” Oleg clarifies hurriedly. “One tiny little dinner with my Veruska. That is all! What do you say?”

The man’s eyes dart desperately from Mike to his mother. So Veruca Salt hasn’t changed much since the Wonka tour. Mike, in his opinion, hasn’t changed much either.

Well. He is shorter.

But no longer small enough to be picked up against his will and shoved in a purse, so what does he care? He doesn’t. There’s no such thing as height on the internet.

But a boy cannot live on internet alone, no matter how he tries.

And it’s been a couple years now, since Wonka’s, and you’d think (at least, Mike would have thought) that the media would have forgotten about them by now. You know: the losers. Because that’s what they are: Gloop. Teavee. Beauregarde. Salt. Golden ticket losers.

And yet the paparazzi still insist on photographing him every time he leaves the house (even as infrequent as that is). On detailing just how short he remains. On judging his fashion choices (which are lit, shut up). On speculating.

They aren’t interested in interviewing him (and he wouldn’t let them anyway), all they want to do is snap, snap, snap his picture.

Not a lot happens in Idaho, okay? He’s not sure if it’s the same for the rest of them. He’s been ignoring them as hard as he possibly can.

But it’s no mystery, at least, how Salt knows he’s still out there, not dead or anything.

“You’ll pay anything?” Mike asks.

Ethel shoots him a look.

“Michael,” she chastises. But he can see her eyeing Mr. Salt’s checkbook too. They aren’t poor, but a teacher’s salary doesn’t go as far as it could, and Mike has expensive taste in electronics and sneakers.

They settle, eventually, on Mr. Salt making a donation to the school where Ethel teaches that will keep her and her colleagues in school supplies for at least a few years, and a ‘college fund’ for Mike, which is dumb, because he isn’t going to college, but at least when he turns eighteen he can do whatever he wants with it.

All that, just for going on a date with a girl. Mike should (Mike thinks) go on dates with girls more often.

Of course, Mike has never actually been on a date before. Mike has never had dinner with a girl who wasn’t his mother. Mike has never been alone in a room with a girl who wasn’t his mother.

He reflects on this as he rides in Salt’s ridiculously large limousine, and then after that in the man’s private jet. Mr. Salt does not try to force conversation with them, which Mike appreciates. The man conducts business on his phone. Mike does the same on his iPad, although his business consists mainly of owning someone on reddit and playing Candy Crush. Ethel pops a Valium and has a cocktail and is out like a light. It’s pretty blissful. Plus, Oleg Salt is rich enough that they don’t have to deal with visas or whatever, and (considering some of the stuff Mike has done) that might otherwise have been an issue.

It still takes about a day to get to Russia, and Mike does briefly entertain the idea that they are being kidnapped, but whatever. It’s not like they had anything better to do.

The Salt estate is impressive. And Mike is not a boy easily impressed. He and his mother are shown to guest rooms that are probably bigger than their entire house, and Ethel tries to convince him to change into a nice button down shirt, or ‘smart’ sweater, and fails. He shows up at the dining room in his usual baggy joggers, converse sneakers, snap back cap, and hoodie. And then it’s just him and Veruca.

The dinning table is huge, but only the very end of it has been set. The lighting is dim, but Mike can see that she is already seated at the head of the table. It feels like it takes forever, but eventually he is seated next to her, in front of way more forks than he knows what to do with.

And he has no idea what to say.

He has never not known what to say before. Words have always just come out of his mouth without having to think about them (much to a lot of people’s chagrin). This is different, for some reason.

Veruca Salt is...pretty.

And Mike Teavee is not prepared.

He had known, even at twelve, that she was. Blond hair, blue eyes, pink dress: all stereotypically and obviously pretty. At twelve, he hadn’t cared about that.

She isn’t dressed like a ballerina now.

Her blond hair is a little shorter and straighter, but still the same bright tone. Her clothes are simple, but obviously expensive: a white turtleneck sweater in some sort of furry material, and designer jeans. She’s more or less the same shape, and a little bit taller, but it’s her face, mostly, that makes his mind go blank. It’s less childish. He wonders, suddenly, if his own is. He feels like she looks older than he does. Next to her, he feels like a kid.

“Hey,” he says, lamely.

“I am so pleased,” she purrs, her long dark lashes fluttering, “that you have decided to join me, Michael.”

Something flutters in his stomach, and then his chest, and then definitely tries to escape out of his throat. He in no way recalls eating any insects or anything.

“Uh,” he replies, brilliantly.

She smirks behind her water glass.

“We have much in common, you and I,” she tells him.

“Oh,” he says. “Yeah?”

Because he’s not sure what, exactly, they have in common at all. Ballet, for instance, is super lame. And he’s not sure how she feels about squirrels now, but he’s definitely never liked anything small and furry. Or big and furry, for that matter.

On the flip side, Russian social media is like years behind America’s, and he doesn’t get the impression she games or is interested in computers at all.

“But there will be time to discuss after we eat,” she says.

Mike does not have an adventurous palate, and an impressive selection of mostly unidentifiable food-stuffs is placed in front of him, and Veruca selects a single fork out of the twenty they each have to choose from, and he grasps desperately for something, anything familiar.

“Do you have ketchup?” He asks.

She looks at him like he might be crazy.

“Do you ask me,” she asks, “if we have ketchup in Russia, or if there is ketchup now?”

He stares down at his plate, and no, he doesn’t know if anything on it is supposed to be eaten with ketchup, but he likes ketchup.

“...know you have ketchup in Russia,” he mumbles.

This date is a disaster.

She rings for someone, and a bottle of Russian ketchup is placed in front of him, and he still doesn’t know where to start with the cutlery, or how to turn this around. She stares at him expectantly.

“I...” he says.

“Yes?” She prompts.

“Uh,” he grunts.

“...,” she responds.

“I’veneverbeenonadatebeforeandIdunnowhatyouwantmetodo, okay?!?!?” He blurts.

She bursts out laughing. Her hand flies to her chest. Her eyes are squeezed shut and tearing up with mirth. She practically falls out of her chair.

“You think this is date?” She manages to gasp.

“Uh. Isn’t it?” He asks, numbly.

She laughs even harder, and he feels like he might be shrinking all over again,

“Your...you dad said...,” he mumbles.

“Oh, my papa,” she giggles, wiping her eyes delicately with her finger. “What has he done?”

Mike says nothing. Mike stares down at what is probably the most expensive plate of food that has ever been put in front of him. She snaps her fingers in front of his nose.

“Michael Television...,” she says.

“Not my na-ame,” he moans.

“This is business meeting. I have business proposal for you.”

He looks up, because as much as he wants to die (no chicken involved) that’s...interesting.

“Mr. Wonka,” she says. “He has done the both of us...wrong.”

She adjusts the neck of her sweater, and he remembers suddenly: she was ripped apart. If no one’s ever the same after they’ve been on television, they definitely aren’t after they’ve been ripped apart and put back together. It hasn’t been an easy couple of years for him: he’s still physically stunted. It probably hasn’t been easy for her, either. Her scars are probably a lot more visible.

“So what’re you saying?” He asks. She has his complete attention, and with his ADHD, that’s saying something.

“I want to make him...how do you say...regret this,” she says.

“Like: revenge,” he asks, dubiously. Because as tempting as that sounds, even he knows that’s not a great idea. Who knows what that nut job would do to them?

“No-no,” she insists, waving the idea off. “Well...not like that. But our own revenge. I wish to do something to make Mr. Wonka see that he is wrong about us. That we are not bad.”

Mike looks down at his hands, because he’s not entirely sure he isn’t bad, but still: the idea is quickly growing on him.

“You are smart,” she says. And then, raising an eyebrow: “At least: I think you are.”

“I am smart,” he says, simply and confidently, because this is something he at least knows about himself without question.

“Good,” she tells him. “This is what I need.”

It’s a lot easier to talk to her, after that, when he knows where he stands. They brainstorm for hours, their heads bent close together, their words quick and excited, and this...

He hasn’t felt like this in a long time. It’s good.

They have a plan by the end of the evening. They’re going to do something: something amazing. Something so amazing that even Wonka won’t be able to call them bad, or losers: not anymore. He can see it all in his head, and she has the money, and the social skills, and the ambition to make it real.

“You are smart,” she says, as he is leaving.

“Told you,” he says, with a smirk and shrug.

She catches his hand in hers.

“You are also cute,” she whispers.

He floats back to America because they’re really going to do something and she thinks he’s cute.

#charlie and the chocolate factory #catcf broadway #mike teavee #veruca salt #if sufficiently confused I will write multiple fics

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wardans · 6 years

Text

It's Tag Time!

Rules: Tag people you want to know more about!

Tagged by: @aspiring-to-be-a-cat thanks babe ( ˘ ³˘) im so sorry this took so long orz

Were you named after anyone?

Well, i was named after some french actress named Anouk Aimee. The name is very popular in the Netherlands but not so much Canada 😢

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday actually. I was sitting outside (bad idea it was hella cold) talking on the phone when i started talking about atlantic cod and i dont remember what the joke was but it was so funny i made myself cry from laughing too much

Do you like your handwriting?

Hmm it's ok i think.. Its gotten neater over the last few years so thats good. And it's readable so bonus points ✌Dont even get me started on cursive tho... I learned it maybe 2x a week for a month in gr4 and then it was taken out of the curriculum so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What’s your favorite lunch meat?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAMM !!!!!!!!! Im just a sliced ham sorta gal

Do you have kids?

Well i certainly hope not! ;D nah im barely an adult anyways. But kids love me for some reason tho

If you were a different person, would you be friends with you?

Idk tbh. I would hope so. If we were i would pray to literally anything that other me could cook so they could teach me their ways. My family? Great cooks, etc. Me? Not so much. Anyways we would both enjoy memes and singing to disney movies and mamma mia and dreaming of sleeping forever (and riding the bull ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

Do you use sarcasm?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Do you still have your tonsils?

Indeed

Would you bungee jump?

See i think it would be cool but i wouldnt actually go through with it. Unless i was blindfolded. Blindfolded means i cant see myself fall to my death

What’s your favorite cereal?

I just eat cheerios with raspberries;; although when i was younger my mum would occasionally buy Reese's Pieces I think which werent so bad

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Sometimes yes sometimes no

Do you think you are a strong person?

Surprisingly yea actually. Listen i lifted my friend one (1) time who weighs like 230+.

What’s your favorite ice cream?

I just had it like 5 minutes ago. Berry sorbet!!! I also really like lime. Sorbet icecream is my saviour ty.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm something that sticks out. It always depends on the person really. Some people i dont notice anything. But like one friend, something i always noticed was her eyes (the prettiest ever) or her smile! Or my mum has got her big german nose which is hard to miss. I just realized that i love peoples noses cause they can be so different and unique i love it. One friends nose literally reminds of Sera's it's adorable

What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself?

.... My eyebrows... Like they go from dark to light but it's so abrupt that it just looks like half is shaved off TT-TT so makeup it is and oh it does wonders. Oh and probably my hands... theyre so small, theyre like tiny sausages i hate it and my feet are super small.. like size 4.5 or 5 if im lucky

What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now?

Im wearing grey track pants that i totally didnt steal from my friendo and Iron Bull shirt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (thanks bioware)

What are you listening to right now?

...... What is Love by Haddaway

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Black, like my soul

Favorite smell?

Hmm, melted cheese.... And when the Khans (family friends) make Biryani or Samosas or Tandoori or Curry they are the best smells ever..! Hm the cold crisp air and pine trees in winter as well!

Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?

My friend actually! (sorry mum)

Favorite sport to watch?

Haha sports? What sports? Ok i have watched football (european) with my family. Europeans are crazy about football my god. I was there during the world cup and oh dear when the Netherlands lost....

Hair color?

Well naturally im blonde but i dyed it red violet last december which is essentially hot pink but with more purple in the mix but then i tried this lighter almost pastel pink. Idk if i should go back to blonde or do something else tho :0

Eye color?

Blue like my mamas

Do you wear contacts?

Nah just glasses when i remember to :D

Favorite food?

I had mac n makhani last night and idek what it is but it was good so yea that. And lasagna. What can i say i really like cheese. Oh ooh and butter chicken! And this pulled pork poutine i got from a Jamaican restaurant one time.... It was so good....

Scary movie or comedy?

I hate scary movies. When i first watched Jaws when i was 13/14 i had nightmares for months. So comedy. There was a comedy/horror that i loved tho; Tucker and Dale: Forces of Evil or something like that.

Last movie you watched?

I wanna say Thor: Ragnorak (so good) but it was actually Moana (again for the 100th time)

What color shirt are you wearing?

It's grey with one of Bulls tarots on it (blessed). Its got a little bit of paint on it tho :'(

Summer or winter?

Winter. Oh, worm? Although i love spring because it rains so much hell yesss

Hugs or kisses?

I deprived myself of affection for years, thanks! depression! So now i make up for it hugging all the people i care about. Occasionally i'll give friends smooches on the cheeks if theyre comfortable with it too

Book you’re currently reading?

Haha whats reading? I havent read anything in forever. Im still trying to finish The Danish Girl, The Outlander series, The Serpent of Essex and The Girl of Fire and Thorns which I got like 6 years ago at a scholastic book fair

Who do you miss right now?

My mum and my cat and my friends and family T-T and Asra & Nadia & Oleg & Parthurnaax pls let them be safe and happy and basically ever vg character that i love ;u;

What’s on your mouse pad?

Ive never used one of those ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but my german oma and opa got me one a long time ago with some famous german mouse thing on it. Kinda cute kinda not

What’s the last TV program you watched?

This tv show called Blackish was just on tv. It's hella funny omg. Also i turn on American Dad just for backround noise if that counts

What’s the best sound?

That music that plays when Asra is around, like in that cave.. It just sounds so magical ;u;

Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

Well i did just go to a Beatles Tribute concert 2 weeks ago sooo.. The Beatles it is 👍

What’s the furthest you ever traveled?

Austria cause for some reason we stopped there when going to visit family but it's farther than the Netherlands so like... what...?

Do you have a special talent?

Drawing I guess. Being outta school and barely drawing sort of took me outta the loop... now everyhing i draw looks ugly :/ I guess my hidden talent of writing for one ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ I learned to make coffees i didnt even know existed at work as well so?? Yes?

Where were you born?

Toronto actually :/ I was almost born somewhere else because my parents travelled a lot up until i was born but they came back... Goddamn

I tag: @queenlydweeb @ridethefrostback @mrjennety @backwardszombie ;D

#this is long & overdue aahhhhh #thats for the tag babe. ( ˘ ³˘)#how do i tag this uuh #the onion speaks #aspiring-to-be-a-cat #queenlydweeb #backwardszombie #ridethefrostback #long post #im sorry everyone most likely read this stuff orz. ...#mrjennety #hey gheykobé surprise it's me

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