#and also! reminder! saturday noon another three slots! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skylight20sworldblr-blog · 5 years

Text

This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows

Sunday morning tv historically is low-hanging fruit for TV bosses.They know there’s a entire nation inevitably switching on; a 3rd hungover from the night time earlier than, a 3rd who have been up since 6am with youngsters and may’t cope with The Go Jetters anymore and third who simply need one thing on in the background whereas they scroll by means of their socials.

No one requires Query Time, just a few fodder to get you thru to lunch, which may solely clarify the reputation of the long-running Sunday Brunch on Channel four. Set in a chat present format over three hours (9.30 to 12.30), it’s interspersed with cooking segments and highlights of the week’s coming TV and music releases, all presided over by Tim Lovejoy and Simon Rimmer. It’s good, it’s advantageous, it’s Sunday morning TV.

Learn extra

Viewers surprised by ladies stockpiling meals for Brexit on This Morning

However earlier this month, ITV behemoth This Morning introduced that it too can be throwing its hat in the circle to seize some of that captive viewers again for his or her channel. And on Sunday 20 January – introduced by Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford – so started the first episode of This Morning on Sunday, on air for an hour at 10.30 to 11.30.

This weekend, Sunday Brunch boasted friends Rylan Clark-Neal (himself a This Morning presenter), Laurence Fox, Abigail Lawrie and Jason ‘Foxy’ Fox. Fleur East – recent from the jungle in I’m A Celeb – carried out.

This Morning on Sunday had: properly, Holmes and Langsford. Oh, and chef John Torode. Look, perhaps everybody was simply busy?

So how did the two shows play out and who gained the battle of the weekend? Right here’s what occurred, minute by minute:

The review

10.00 Sunday Brunch (SB): Half an hour earlier than This Morning begins, a newly hirsute Lovejoy – twiddling his beard – and Rimmer grilled actress Lawrie about her position in gritty Sky thriller, Tin Star. As Lawrie mentioned the darkish themes from present, together with a violent episode together with her on-screen father, Lovejoy goes full Partridge, off on a tangent, and jumps in: “I hear there was a cougar on the set. How big was it? Also, how you know if a cougar is going to smell you and go ‘oh, this is an actor and not dinner?’”. Lawrie, to her credit score, manages to politely reply and get to the finish of the interview with out rolling her eyes.

Kevin Clifton’s tattoo

10.30 This Morning on Sunday (TMoS): The acquainted strains of This Morning start as the opening credit roll, with headlines flashing up on partitions promising us ‘Bros: what happened next?’ and ‘Kevin Clifton’s tattoo’. We’re in for a wild journey immediately!

10.31 TMoS: Holmes and Langsford – who is sticking firmly to the script by sporting a gray jumper with the phrase ‘Sunday’ on it – are shimmying on chairs to beige anthem, Maroon 5’s Sunday Morning. Holmes says: “Welcome to Sunday mornings and to This Morning on a Sunday, because you can’t get too much of a good thing.” This might later be proved as not the case.

Holmes and Langford (Photograph: ITV)

10.32 TMoS: Hey guys at house, what do you rise up to on Sunday? the Langsford-Holmes’ enquire. A painful try at banter ensues as the husband-and-wife duo attempt to burn one another about who does the least at residence at the weekends. “You get treated like a queen!” he tells Langsford, “I make an Ulster Fry!” “When you’re not reclining in your chair watching football!” she joshes again. Please, subsequent merchandise.

10.33 TMoS: Lastly, they announce, they’ll be discussing the difficulty that’s presently dividing the nation: Hen or beef roast? And may you will have Yorkshire puddings with each? Fortunately, they inform us, chef Torode shall be on the present to prepare dinner a particular dish. Ooh, what’s he making? A good, spicy Sri Lankan curry for this chilly climate? Perhaps a hearty Spanish paella or one thing? Beef. He’ll be making roast beef, potatoes and veg. This is actually the Brexit of chat shows.

Rylan Clarke-Neal will host a Saturday afternoon present on Radio 2

10.40 SB: Rylan Clark-Neal is on the couch, chatting about turning into the subsequent host of Grocery store Sweep (RIP Dale Winton) and his new present on BBC Radio 2. Clark-Neal’s truly fairly humorous, and of course, the video footage of Nicole Scherzinger telling him he’s by means of to the subsequent spherical of the X Issue is all the time going to be the spotlight of any present it options in. Chalk one up for the Sunday Brunch workforce. Particularly as Clark-Neal reveals he was out getting pissed with Caroline Flack til 7am, simply two hours earlier than the video was filmed.

10.41 TMoS: First correct phase of the present and it’s the cheery story of a Love Island contestant’s brother realising he had testicular most cancers. Wait! This is only a clip from final weeks present! Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield are interviewing him prefer it’s not even Sunday! We’ve been robbed. Change again over to SB.

From Partridge-esque to precise partridge

10.50 SB: They’ve received the full line-up of visitors munching on recreation. Lovejoy goes from Partridge-esque to precise partridge (breasts full of fig, because you ask), whereas Laurence Fox pipes up: “I can’t eat mallard as my son would kill me.”. He eats stuffed mallard.

10.53 TMoS: One other repeated interview. It’s Strictly‘s Kevin Clifton getting a tattoo saying ‘I love Glasgow’. Look, it’s too boring to get into right here.

10.55 TMoS: They’re providing money bungs to maintain watching now, with the announcement of their £100,00zero money prize. (Aspect notice: how do you get signed as much as be the superstar announcer of these? Sweetest job in showbiz: every week’s work in a Maldives resort to learn out a telephone quantity). Then, it’s a montage of Gino DeCampo’s greatest bits. This is the equal of your aunt posting a video of This Morning on Fb, captioning it: “Phil and Holly cracking up on the show today – gave me the giggles too! Xx”

11.00 SB: The SB lot breakout halftime martinis to have fun the world’s greatest martini being introduced in the UK this week. It’s not even noon! Lovejoy slurs “it’s going to become a new traddissshhun.” Assume the producers may need one thing to say about that. Nonetheless, cheers!

11.04 SB: Fox steps as much as make a vinegar-braised hen with Rimmer, which finally ends up wanting a lot nicer than it sounds.

11.05 TMoS: Good god, Alice Beer continues to be going on about methods to make your garments look like they’ve been to the dry cleaners once they haven’tZzzz. This was deemed value repeating from the week of content material? Don’t remind us that our laundry basket is at present overflowing. Allow us to have this one morning with out occupied with home tasks, FFS.

Nick Knowles (Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Pictures)

11.08 TMoS: One other interview from earlier in the week, Nick Knowles speaking about auctioning up his pants from I’m a Celeb for charity. Holmes tells Langsford she’s made a stunning cup of tea, and he simply can’t have a cup of tea with no biscuit. Eats a biscuit. Langsford then tries to open up the debate “milk in first or not?” to which even Holmes shuts down with “I couldn’t care less.” It’s hardly the black/blue or white/gold gown furore, is it?

11.15 SB: Fleur East is being interviewed and actually eager to stay to the script about why she and Simon Cowell and his label Syco parted methods: “We were just on separate paths”, she chirps brightly. Kudos to Lovejoy – he goes in with the query all of us need to know: “How much is it was to do with Simon Cowell?” She excellently deflects the query. On going chart-success for you now, Fleur.

11.17 TMoS: Lastly! A reside slot and never a repeat. However it’s simply Torode telling us how one can prepare dinner an enormous rack of three ribs of beef. Veganary? Pfffft, not on our watch, snowflakes. He explains the key to flavour in a roast is the juices in the tray afterwards. Exhausting to pay attention as Holmes could be seen at the edge of the display, lifting a Yorkshire pudding and making an attempt to surreptitiously eat a bit morsel – you’ve been clocked.

11.20 SB: They’ve pulled out the massive weapons with Jason “Foxy” Fox from SAS Who Dares Wins. Lovejoy and Rimmer are struggling to include how cool they assume he’s. Lovejoy strokes his personal beard once more with pleasure.

11.22 TMoS: “Have you seen the Bros documentary?” asks Langsford. Sure. Final yr, together with the relaxation of the nation. There’s an enormous construct as much as present the previous (repeat) interview of the Goss bros after that battle in the This Morning dressing room. “Look at that body language!” says Langsford. She and Holmes then talk about preventing with households and Langsford repeats 3 times that Holmes is “a sulker.” And on that pass-agg word, it’s throughout till subsequent week. Time to modify again to Sunday Brunch for relaxation of the morning, now.

Over on social media and viewers appeared to be in equal measures confused and irritated to seek out that This Morning was primarily repeats of segments from the earlier week’s shows.

One Twitter consumer stated: “What a disappointment! It’s just a show made up of repeats from the previous week’s show.”

Disgrace it’s simply clips from the week and never new content material. Bit of a cop out. *turns @SundayBrunchC4 on as an alternative* #thismorning #sundaybrunch

— Amy Lee (@Amykinsypoo) January 20, 2019

Thought it was Monday and I used to be late for bloody work once I turned on the telly to see @thismorning! What they enjoying at?! Don’t prefer it. Keep in your lane #thismorning

— Kimberley Walker (@KimberleyHW) January 20, 2019

WHAT a disappointment it’s only a present made up of repeats from the earlier week! Shall be watching #SundayBrunch from now on @thismorning #ThisMorning on Sunday

— Janbo25 (@JaniceGilfillan) January 20, 2019

Finally, it appeared to boil right down to the content material: do viewers need reheats of lukewarm footage from the week earlier than, or getting caught into breakfast cocktails with Rylan Clark-Neal whereas laughing at Lovejoy’s beard? The viewing figures will quickly tell us.

In the imply time, move one other slice of the stuffed mallard, will you?

The post This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows appeared first on List Technology.

#Culture #Sunday Brunch #Technology #Television #This Morning

0 notes

aethermystfan-blog · 5 years

Text

This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows

Learn extra

Viewers surprised by ladies stockpiling meals for Brexit on This Morning

This Morning on Sunday had: properly, Holmes and Langsford. Oh, and chef John Torode. Look, perhaps everybody was simply busy?

So how did the two shows play out and who gained the battle of the weekend? Right here’s what occurred, minute by minute:

The review

Kevin Clifton’s tattoo

Holmes and Langford (Photograph: ITV)

Rylan Clarke-Neal will host a Saturday afternoon present on Radio 2

From Partridge-esque to precise partridge

10.53 TMoS: One other repeated interview. It’s Strictly‘s Kevin Clifton getting a tattoo saying ‘I love Glasgow’. Look, it’s too boring to get into right here.

11.04 SB: Fox steps as much as make a vinegar-braised hen with Rimmer, which finally ends up wanting a lot nicer than it sounds.

Nick Knowles (Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Pictures)

Over on social media and viewers appeared to be in equal measures confused and irritated to seek out that This Morning was primarily repeats of segments from the earlier week’s shows.

One Twitter consumer stated: “What a disappointment! It’s just a show made up of repeats from the previous week’s show.”

Disgrace it’s simply clips from the week and never new content material. Bit of a cop out. *turns @SundayBrunchC4 on as an alternative* #thismorning #sundaybrunch

— Amy Lee (@Amykinsypoo) January 20, 2019

Thought it was Monday and I used to be late for bloody work once I turned on the telly to see @thismorning! What they enjoying at?! Don’t prefer it. Keep in your lane #thismorning

— Kimberley Walker (@KimberleyHW) January 20, 2019

WHAT a disappointment it’s only a present made up of repeats from the earlier week! Shall be watching #SundayBrunch from now on @thismorning #ThisMorning on Sunday

— Janbo25 (@JaniceGilfillan) January 20, 2019

In the imply time, move one other slice of the stuffed mallard, will you?

The post This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows appeared first on List Technology.

#Culture #Sunday Brunch #Technology #Television #This Morning

0 notes

jimeshbathija3896-blog · 5 years

Text

This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows

Learn extra

Viewers surprised by ladies stockpiling meals for Brexit on This Morning

This Morning on Sunday had: properly, Holmes and Langsford. Oh, and chef John Torode. Look, perhaps everybody was simply busy?

So how did the two shows play out and who gained the battle of the weekend? Right here’s what occurred, minute by minute:

The review

Kevin Clifton’s tattoo

Holmes and Langford (Photograph: ITV)

Rylan Clarke-Neal will host a Saturday afternoon present on Radio 2

From Partridge-esque to precise partridge

10.53 TMoS: One other repeated interview. It’s Strictly‘s Kevin Clifton getting a tattoo saying ‘I love Glasgow’. Look, it’s too boring to get into right here.

11.04 SB: Fox steps as much as make a vinegar-braised hen with Rimmer, which finally ends up wanting a lot nicer than it sounds.

Nick Knowles (Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Pictures)

Over on social media and viewers appeared to be in equal measures confused and irritated to seek out that This Morning was primarily repeats of segments from the earlier week’s shows.

One Twitter consumer stated: “What a disappointment! It’s just a show made up of repeats from the previous week’s show.”

Disgrace it’s simply clips from the week and never new content material. Bit of a cop out. *turns @SundayBrunchC4 on as an alternative* #thismorning #sundaybrunch

— Amy Lee (@Amykinsypoo) January 20, 2019

Thought it was Monday and I used to be late for bloody work once I turned on the telly to see @thismorning! What they enjoying at?! Don’t prefer it. Keep in your lane #thismorning

— Kimberley Walker (@KimberleyHW) January 20, 2019

WHAT a disappointment it’s only a present made up of repeats from the earlier week! Shall be watching #SundayBrunch from now on @thismorning #ThisMorning on Sunday

— Janbo25 (@JaniceGilfillan) January 20, 2019

In the imply time, move one other slice of the stuffed mallard, will you?

The post This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows appeared first on List Technology.

#Culture #Sunday Brunch #Technology #Television #This Morning

0 notes

superplhis-blog · 5 years

Text

This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows

Learn extra

Viewers surprised by ladies stockpiling meals for Brexit on This Morning

This Morning on Sunday had: properly, Holmes and Langsford. Oh, and chef John Torode. Look, perhaps everybody was simply busy?

So how did the two shows play out and who gained the battle of the weekend? Right here’s what occurred, minute by minute:

The review

Kevin Clifton’s tattoo

Holmes and Langford (Photograph: ITV)

Rylan Clarke-Neal will host a Saturday afternoon present on Radio 2

From Partridge-esque to precise partridge

10.53 TMoS: One other repeated interview. It’s Strictly‘s Kevin Clifton getting a tattoo saying ‘I love Glasgow’. Look, it’s too boring to get into right here.

11.04 SB: Fox steps as much as make a vinegar-braised hen with Rimmer, which finally ends up wanting a lot nicer than it sounds.

Nick Knowles (Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Pictures)

Over on social media and viewers appeared to be in equal measures confused and irritated to seek out that This Morning was primarily repeats of segments from the earlier week’s shows.

One Twitter consumer stated: “What a disappointment! It’s just a show made up of repeats from the previous week’s show.”

Disgrace it’s simply clips from the week and never new content material. Bit of a cop out. *turns @SundayBrunchC4 on as an alternative* #thismorning #sundaybrunch

— Amy Lee (@Amykinsypoo) January 20, 2019

Thought it was Monday and I used to be late for bloody work once I turned on the telly to see @thismorning! What they enjoying at?! Don’t prefer it. Keep in your lane #thismorning

— Kimberley Walker (@KimberleyHW) January 20, 2019

WHAT a disappointment it’s only a present made up of repeats from the earlier week! Shall be watching #SundayBrunch from now on @thismorning #ThisMorning on Sunday

— Janbo25 (@JaniceGilfillan) January 20, 2019

In the imply time, move one other slice of the stuffed mallard, will you?

The post This Morning on Sunday vs Sunday Brunch: who triumphed? A minute-by-minute review of the weekend shows appeared first on List Technology.

#Culture #Sunday Brunch #Technology #Television #This Morning

0 notes

junker-town · 6 years

Text

NFL Dad, Week 12: An unfortunate chain of events

One dad’s diary of balancing two young children with seven hours of RedZone channel. How much could possibly go wrong? (A lot, if you’re Alex Smith.)

A successful day of parenting has two qualities: (1) good logistics and (2) getting the hell out of the house. They work in tandem, and the farther you go, the more logistical planning you need.

For example, I know that my kids need to be down for their nap by 1:30 p.m., so any morning excursion needs to end with us back at our apartment by 1:15. Except my 18-month-old son sometimes tires out by 12:30 or 1:00, so earlier is better. And they need to eat lunch by noon, or sometimes 11:30, so we need to pack lunches or plan a stop for food. Plus snacks. Plus the diaper bag. Which stroller are we going to take — the unwieldy double? Or the collapsible one? Are we taking the subway? Does the subway stop we’re going to have an elevator, or should I plan on throwing my back out carrying a stroller up the stairs again? I swear the invasion of Normandy had fewer coordinating instructions.

This is the kind of planning my wife and I put into a Saturday excursion to a French bakery to get macarons (my three-year-old daughter has a fascination with Paris). We put my son in the foldable stroller for the short stroller ride, and counted on our daughter to walk most of the 10 blocks from subway to fancy cookies.

It went swimmingly! The kids were overjoyed to be in a new neighborhood, our scheduling was stellar, the macarons were light but rich in flavor — and then the wheels fell off. Or, more accurately, a nut fell off a screw holding the stroller together, and half the frame collapsed.

Now, instead carrying my daughter on my shoulders while my wife pushed our son in the stroller (read: walking at an adult pace), my wife carried my daughter while I slung the collapsed stroller over one shoulder and carried my son in my other arm. He is the approximate size and shape of a 27-pound kettlebell, minus the convenient handle. It was slow going.

When we finally got on a subway home, I looked at the stroller, the conveyance that made the trip easy until one tiny lost part turned it into dead weight and gave us extra things to carry. This is where, if I were concerned about making this a football metaphor, I would talk about injuries and the difficulties of replacing a star player mid-season in the salary cap era.

But I’m not. I just wanted to complain.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Here is my ranking of early slate games based on anticipated entertainment value to me. NOTE: I have weird tastes and strong grudges.

Bears-Eagles. The Eagles are fun to watch, the Bears are an entertaining disaster, and I love blowouts.

Bucs-Falcons. Mike Evans and Julio Jones.

Bills-Chiefs. Both teams are in freefall, I picked the Bills to cover today, and I’m an ardent supporter of Tyrod Taylor, Competent Starting Quarterback.

Panthers-Jets. The Jets are trash but I kind of love them? For not sucking as hard as they should? Love is weird, man.

Titans-Colts. A pleasing array of blue uniforms.

Dolphins-Patriots. I have Rob Gronkowski on a fantasy team.

Browns-Bengals. No to this much orange. No to this much Ohio.

— Speaking of Browns-Bengals, my daughter pooped on the toilet just before the games started. Three more poops on the toilet, and she gets to watch her first movie: Moana.

I’m familiar with the schools of thought that say you shouldn’t incentivize potty training, and that’s how we started off, too. Then my daughter started holding in poops for several days before struggling to crank out the hardened rock in her butt, and we implemented a multi-tiered system of bribes that would put FIFA to shame.

— The kids come and kiss me before naptime as Tom Brady hits Gronk on a 3rd and 7. The Pats are already up 7-0 after running a fake punt on 4th and 9 deep in their own territory, and they soon double their lead with a TD to Gronk. I’m fine calling this one over.

— Tyrod Taylor finds Zay Jones on a drag route across the end zone (NOTE: as always, when I cite the route that was run, any inaccuracies are due to not paying attention and lack of replays). The Bills are up 7-0 at the end of the first quarter, and Alex Smith has looked VERY shaky to start the game. So I guess that’s why they don’t hand out actual Quarter-Season MVP trophies.

— In a bang-bang flurry of cuts, RedZone shows three straight touchdowns: Mohammed Sanu hits Julio Jones for a 51-yard touchdown bomb from the Wildcat formation; the Dolphins scoop up an errant snap to score a defensive TD; and Cam Newton runs it in on a bootleg on 3rd and goal at the goal line.

I will now embed the best of those three plays.

Look at that cool head despite the bobbled snap! I am prepared to declare Mohammed Sanu better than at least five starting quarterbacks in the NFL.

Also, I called that a Wildcat formation, but the Wildcat really seems more a principle at this point: “We have replaced our quarterback with someone more athletic for one play. He can’t really read a defense, but we’re not necessarily counting on him to. Are you ready? ‘Cuz this is gonna be an adventure for us, too.”

— Nelson Agholor flips into the end zone, and the Eagles are up 14-0 over the Bears. This game is as good as over, but I love that there’s so much more to come. THRASH THE SCRUBS.

— Alex Smith has started 1/6 for 3 yards. Chiefs Twitter is embroiled in a bitter civil war between fans who want Pat Mahomes to start and fans who blame the play-calling, or the line, or ... buddy, I don’t see how this is on anyone but Smith. He seems like a very nice person who’s gone through a lot of professional hardship, but at this point I a benching would be an act of mercy.

Also, I crave Pat Mahomes bombs. LET PAT COOK!

— On Saturday, when we’d gotten back on the subway after the stroller broke, I said to my wife, “It reminds me of that saying, “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost...”

She gave me a puzzled look.

“You know, ‘For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost,’ then the rider was lost, then the message, and so on until the war was lost.”

Her face was still blank. Had she really never heard this common proverb about logistics in war? I shrugged and offered meekly, “My parents used to say it.”

“You and I had really different childhoods,” she replied.

— Julio Jones had one touchdown in the first 11 weeks of the season (proof that football is flawed). He now has two in the first half against the Bucs.

http://pic.twitter.com/FWGgJ8bdXi

— ALSO, KEITHFUJIMOTO (@vineydelnegro) November 26, 2017

RIP, those ankles.

QUESTION: Hey, what about the ball coming loose after Jones hit the pylon? There have been repeated rulings that players haven’t been established as a runner despite taking several steps while making a catch, so if Jones lost the ball going to ground, shouldn’t that be a touchback? Or at least reviewed with closer scrutiny than it got?

ANSWER: SHUT UP NERD. Did you see that cornerback fall down or what?

— Alex Smith update: He is 2 of 8 for seven yards. The Bills’ Steven Hauschka misses a 52-yarder, so the Chiefs will have good field position to try to get their first first down of the day as the clock approaches the 2-minute warning.

OK, we have a first down! But it’s still not great for the Chiefs. It feels like every replay features the color commentator circling the open receiver that Smith didn’t see. Still, KC gets its first points of the day with a Harrison Butker field goal, and the Bills hustle to answer before the gun: Hauschka is good from 56 yards, and the Bills lead 13-3 at halftime.

— Robby Anderson makes a RIDICULOUS catch in double coverage for a touchdown. This marks his fifth straight game with a touchdown.

.@youngamazing9 beats double coverage with EASE. #Jets http://pic.twitter.com/uAtifOZIVW

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

One of my co-workers offered Anderson to me as part of a trade package last week — “Anderson’s been really good lately,” he said — and I reacted like he’d offered me a plate of dog crap. Look, I enjoy the scrappiness of the Jets, but I don’t want them on my fantasy teams.

— With less than 10 seconds left in the half, Matt Moore gets picked off in the end zone. Instead of trailing by just one score, the Dolphins will go in to the locker room trailing 21-10.

Not that it matters, of course. Miami’s lone touchdown is a chance defensive score on a bad snap. They’ve already gotten their breaks for the game (they also snatched an INT from Brady, just his third of the season), and they’re losing anyway. I’m not sure why I framed a potential one-score game as potentially affecting the outcome; I blame the announcers.

— Alshon Jeffery, working out of the slot in the red zone, puts Eagles up 24-0 with five seconds left in the half. The score, his seventh of the season, triggers a $250,000 performance clause in Jeffery’s contract, as well as an extremely good celebration.

BOWLING FOR EAGLES http://pic.twitter.com/RXEYdmuiU9

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 26, 2017

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Albert Wilson slips through several defenders to score the Chiefs’ first touchdown. KC has some life, and now trails 13-10.

— Holy hell, what a play by McCown to Anderson for 50-plus yards and the TD. The Jets now lead 17-12.

"GO DEEP!" - @JoshMcCown12 And that's exactly what @YoungAmazing9 did. Another @NYJets TD! #Jets http://pic.twitter.com/Gdi31ZUDG0

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

I would like to issue an apology to Josh McCown. Before the season, I said the only job he should have at age 38 is as a backup for a good team, and that he had no business starting. That was wrong: He has completed more than 67% of his passes for 17 touchdowns (both career bests) while throwing eight interceptions in 11 games. That’s totally serviceable! I’d take McCown over Joe Flacco any day.

— Ummmmm...

How does Chris Myers think burping a baby works? http://pic.twitter.com/lwYCec5jxg

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) November 26, 2017

Look, announcers have to say a LOT of words every game, and the right phrase isn’t always on the tip of your tongue. Chris Myers saw Delanie Walker performing CPR on the football, and the words that came out to describe it were “burping the baby.” I don’t think he doesn’t know know how to burp a baby. It’s not like he’s fending off lawsuits for crushing infants’ chests while babysitting, you know?

— My daughter wakes up from her nap. “Can I watch football too, Daddy?” she says. My heart gushes. I doubt that this is anything approaching an original thought, but I think the reason I’m so madly in love with my daughter is that she’s a little copy of the woman I love the most, but with flashes of my own DNA. So she’s a combination of my most selfless love with the egotistical love I have for myself, and those feelings happening at the same time is more powerful than any other emotion I’ve felt.

My son? Oh yeah! He’s great too. Love that little dude.

— Jonathan Stewart scores for the Panthers, but the two-point conversion comes up short. Carolina takes an 18-17 lead.

— My wife goes to get our son up from his nap, but he rejects her presence. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” I go in and play peekaboo with him, and he cackles maniacally. It’s my laugh, in toddler form. Let the record show that I love him as much as my daughter.

— With the Chiefs trailing and less than three minutes left, Alex Smith throws off-target on 4th and four. The pass was closer to being intercepted than it was to being completed. The film session for this game isn’t gonna be fun for him.

Wouldn’t it suck to have to sit through critical replays of your job? “Here’s where your Powerpoint went off the rails, Johnson. What was this chart supposed to accomplish? Look at the clients’ eyes here: They’re completely glazed over! You lost your audience!”

— After a Jets field goal, the Panthers take the lead on a fumble recovery that goes for six the other way. The two-point conversion gives them a six-point lead, and my precious 4.5-point spread looks in trouble.

— Trailing 16-10, the Chiefs have one last chance to mount a game-winning drive, and Alex Smith ... throws an interception. Tradavious White returns the ball all the way to the Chiefs’ 10-yard line, and boos rain down on Smith. Poor guy. Poor Chiefs fans, too, but I’m still allowed to feel bad for a nice guy who sucks at his job.

— The Panthers return a punt for a touchdown, and the Jets have now COMPLETELY Jets’d this up. They allowed consecutive defensive and special teams touchdowns to go from winning this game to having no chance to cover. I can’t WAIT to go back to not caring about the Jets.

— The Eagles defense, thinking they’d intercepted a Trubisky pass late in the game, perform the Electric Slide. But the call is overturned, so they intercept Trubisky again, and perform the Electric Slide again.

Eagles making an Electric Slide music video this time out http://pic.twitter.com/q4RTtlXYZC

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) November 26, 2017

The celebration only counts if the play stands.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Totally biased late slate entertainment rankings:

Seahawks-49ers. Here is my weekly apology for being a Seahawks fan. If I could stop, I would.

Saints-Rams. This should have been flexed into Sunday Night Football. I reject Brett Hundley from primetime.

Jaguars-Cardinals. The Calais Campbell/Blaine Gabbert revenge game! Also, Blaine Gabbert versus Blake Bortles reminds me of one of my favorite tweets.

Broncos-Raiders. I appreciate the bad blood, but “Paxton Lynch versus Marshawn Lynch” doesn’t quite move the needle when both teams have losing records.

— It’s rainy and windy in Santa Clara, and on the first play from scrimmage, Russell Wilson ignores a short throw to a wide-open J.D. McKissic in order to throw to a blanketed Jimmy Graham. Eric Reid picks him off.

— For a couple of blissful minutes, my kids play together peacefully without any involvement from their parents. Is this ... Could this be a glimpse of what we hoped for when we had kids 19 months apart? Like, OF COURSE, they’ll fight over toys, but the mere NOTION of entire minutes where I don’t have to actively parent one or both of them makes my heart sing.

— After a Seahawks drive stalls, Blair Walsh is wide left from 48.

“He only missed PATs for one season.”

— Saints-Rams is finally underway. The Rams put together an impressive drive and go up 7-0 on a short slant to Sammy Watkins.

— RedZone’s first look at Broncos-Raiders is a knock-down drag-out fight between Michael Crabtree and Aqib Talib on the sidelines, and on the field, and across the field. Both players — as well as Gabe Jackson — are tossed from the game.

It started the play before, when Crabtree punched Chris Harris in the stomach. On the next play, Crabtree blocked Talib, and the cornerback took the opportunity to snatch the Raider’s chain for the second year running.

I know that fighting is bad, especially given that players are already trying to murder each other within the rules on every play of the game, but ... this was all WILDLY ENTERTAINING. Like, Marshawn Lynch escorting Talib out of the game is only the fourth- or fifth-most intriguing part of this.

Marshawn Lynch escorted Aqib Talib out of the game. http://pic.twitter.com/D2Cci6Ks3c

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) November 26, 2017

I’m so bummed that this is the second Broncos-Raiders game of the year. I want another one!

— Bobby Wagner straight up ROBS a man of a catch, and the Seahawks get the ball at 14. Two plays later, Russell Wilson’s read-option fools the camera man (and everyone else) as he scoots in for the touchdown.

After review... It's a @Bwagz54 INT! #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/HQTT7JFBqO

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

.@DangeRussWilson will do it himself! #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/GbC1G1o1g8

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

— Alvin Kamara breaks a 74-yard run for a TD. Holy crap. The Saints cut the Rams’ lead to 10-7.

He. Is. GONE. 74-yard @A_kamara6 TOUCHDOWN! #GoSaints http://pic.twitter.com/EhnZE2cAFX

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

I will never forgive myself for not getting Kamara in any of my fantasy leagues. All of the excitement at the beginning of the season for Kareem Hunt and Tarik Cohen has faded, and it’s Kamara who’s the real truth. I love that dude. (NOTE: I have no idea what he looks like without a helmet.)

— We get my parents on a Facetime call so they can see the kids. I say “see” and not “talk with,” because conversing with the kids through the screen is almost impossible. My son only wants to get close enough to touch the screen (he constantly hangs up on family members), while my daughter becomes hyperactive, running from room to room, posing in downward dog, and crawling through a collapsible tunnel we’ve laid out. After each trick she runs to the iPad to make sure she’s still being watched, shriek-laughs, and runs off to do something else.

— Even though Talib got the better of Crabtree, the actual football game has been all Raiders, thanks mostly to Paxton Lynch. Jared Cook makes a nice catch in the back of the end zone, and the Raiders lead 14-0.

wow that stat http://pic.twitter.com/C6lZQIwgN5

— Harry Lyles Jr. (@harrylylesjr) November 26, 2017

— ENDORSEMENT: The frozen mini chicken tacos from Trader Joe’s. They’re one of the rare foods that both of my kids will eat every time without complaint.

— The Jags get on the board with a field goal before the half; they trail 13-3. Nothing about the Cardinals’ lead feels safe, yet Blake Bortles isn’t exactly the man I’d choose to lead a comeback. The Jags will need a defensive or special teams TD to get back in the game.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— The 49ers open the second half with a big dose of Carlos Hyde, who batters the Seahawks D and carries the Niners into Seahawks territory. A field goal cuts the Seahawks’ lead to 7-6.

— One of my daughter’s pretend games is a spin on the Sleeping Beauty/Snow White plot: She puts me or my wife to sleep with magic, we fall asleep, then she wakes us up with a kiss. When she comes to work her magic on me, I fall asleep very slowly, yawning as I watch Russell Wilson convert a 3rd and nine by hitting a leaping, twisting Doug Baldwin downfield. She kisses me awake before the next play, another shot downfield to Tanner McEvoy. The quick drive ends with a Nick Vannett TD and no other magical comas.

— RedZone shows clips of Calais Campbell reuniting with his former teammates before the game. And yet no mention of the respect Jaguars players surely have for Blaine Gabbert. What a shame.

— I have the TV muted while we listen to a Beatles playlist. I’ve never cared much for the Beatles, but their work holds up as children’s music. The Beatles are like if Raffi had an edge and more instruments.

Now, some people might be angered by that take, but I’m not trying to be incendiary. Revolver and Sgt. Pepper are two of the best children’s albums ever made, and I’ll take “Yellow Submarine” over “Banana Phone” any day. Well, almost any day. Banana phones are pretty funny.

— Both defenses in the Saints-Rams game have stiffened — no points in 3rd quarter, and not much in the way of drives, either.

— Bork Birdles scores on a bootleg. The Jags trail 16-10.

— Jimmy Graham scores a touchdown on a short slant. With the ball on the left hash, the Seahawks lined up five wide receivers -- three on the left, two on the right. Then they motioned Tyler Lockett to the left, leaving Graham isolated on the wide side of the field. A fade was the obvious call, which is probably what made getting open on the slant so easy.

I wrote all of that out because it took the Seahawks TWO YEARS to figure this shit out, even though the Saints printed money with plays like that for five years.

— Let’s check in on Paxton Lynch:

Paxton Lynch is 7-of-12 for 35 yards, 0 TD and 1 INT. Vs. the NFL's worst defense. It's more than halfway through the third quarter.

— Frank Schwab (@YahooSchwab) November 26, 2017

— With the kids in the bath, my wife has switched to a Christmas music playlist. My daughter splashes my wife after being told not to do so, so I come in to levy the punishment. I pull my daughter out of the bath, and she starts screaming. It takes some of the enjoyment out of Mariah Carey singing “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Only some of it, though. That song is a fortress of good cheer.

— After my daughter calms down, I put her in her pajamas. “What was your favorite part of the day?” I ask. “Was it splashing in the bath?”

“Yeah,” she says, though not with conviction.

“Was it playing with Evan and eating my breakfast sandwich?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it going to church with Mommy?”

She pauses. “No.”

— With the Saints down by 13 at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Alvin Kamara adds “hurdling guys” to his repertoire.

This just in: Alvin Kamara is extremely talented #Saints http://pic.twitter.com/uobNEKP6R0

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 26, 2017

On the same drive, the Saints go for it on 4th and five at the edge of field goal range, and Brees again goes to Kamara, which sets up first and goal. But the drive stalls, and the Saints kick a field goal like a bunch of cowards. They’re gonna lose the game now.

— While I sing “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic” to my kids, Calais Campbell scoops up a fumble and runs it in to give Jags a 17-16 lead. I love how predictable the Jaguars are. NOW GIMME SOME BORTLES IN CRUNCH TIME.

— With about a minute and a half remaining, the Niners lose C.J. Beathard to an injury after a hard hit from Michael Bennett. IT’S GAROPPOLO TIME.

Down 24-6, Jimmy G calmly steers the Niners a whole 19 yards, culminating in a touchdown on the final play of the game. Just a really thrilling ending for the Niners faithful who stuck around, and a devastating turn of events for the heroes like me who had the Seahawks defense in fantasy.

— Strangely, the Broncos scoring points has coincided with Trevor Siemian replacing Paxton Lynch, who left the game with an injury.

This @TrevorSiemian TD pass... #DENvsOAK http://pic.twitter.com/0HDLVieQKl

— NFL (@NFL) November 27, 2017

That score makes it 21-14, and the Raiders will need a first down or two to kill the clock.

— Late in the fourth quarter, with the game tied at 24, Jacksonville intercepts Gabbert, and Scott Hanson actually says, “Blake Bortles getting a chance to be a hero...”

Come on, now. We know better than this. When Bortles is in charge of a two-minute drill, don’t frame it in the positive. At the very least, be noncommittal. “Let’s see what the Jaguars do here.” “We’re heading for an interesting finish.” “Surely both sides are nervous here.” Hedge your bets, man.

On 3rd and six, at the outer edge of FG range, Tyrann Mathieu intercepts Bortles.

— On 3rd and eight, deep in his own territory, Derek Carr hits Cordarelle Patterson deep to kill off the Broncos’ hopes for a comeback.

Oh my, @ceeflashpee84! 55-yard gain on the pass from @derekcarrqb! #RaiderNation http://pic.twitter.com/ahy06MkyFl

— NFL (@NFL) November 27, 2017

— Alvin Kamara gets in for another score, and it’s back to a one-possession game with 1:45 remaining. It is unfathomable to me that Kamara only got 11 touches in this game (for 188 yards and two touchdowns). I understand that he’s not built like a workhorse, but Sean Payton may want to revisit that decision after this game.

The onside kick is no good, and the Rams win.

— The Jaguars have gotten the ball back with the game still tied. Once again, Blake Bortles has a chance to be the hero, which is to say: He throws another interception. Phil Dawson kicks a 57-yard field goal and the Cardinals win.

— As the games wrap up, I knead the mixture that will become tonight’s meatloaf. I won’t go into my mother’s full recipe — although putting a recipe at the end of 4000 words of derivative bullshit would make this a typical internet recipe — but the combination of ground beef, ground pork, raw egg, bread crumbs, and various sauces and spices is less than pleasant.

It gets better as I go, though, and after I shape the loaf and wash my hands, I put the pan in the oven and watch RedZone’s touchdown montage. It goes on a little too long, but then, so do most things about the NFL.

0 notes