#and Ik if I let them fester and stay silent about it I'm going to end up doing something extremely dumb

[theladygazingatemptiness]

q.... how does one go about informing/reaching out to people about having suicidal thoughts

#wak #negative / #suicide tw #i'm not doing anything/planning to do anything to myself dw #but. I've been having more and more of those Thoughts™ recently #and Ik if I let them fester and stay silent about it I'm going to end up doing something extremely dumb #I have literally no access to any therapist rn and haven't since 2018 #but. if I tell my grandmother it's just going to upset her even more #and if I tell my mom she's going to find some way to antagonize me about it/tell me that I'm wrong and abusive for having those thoughts- #-or start some type of fight with my grandmother over it and basically doing everything but showing me empathy and compassion #my siblings are. out of the question lol #there's my friends but.. my friends aren't my therapists and I've lost several friends via whining all the time #and like.... why be selfish and stress them out. as if they don't have their own issues to deal with #and I'm.. really not willing to call any hotlines (esp since idk which ones are good and I absolutely Do Not want cops sent to my place) #so. rn I'm just sitting here with my thumb up my ass I guess #and ngl fsr I'm actually kind of embarrassed about having the thoughts but. that does nothing to help me lol #just.. idk