#am i gonna sleep no im just gonna lie here and think abt zenos.

[fooltofancy]

6.4 thots etc

important to me that the narrative is forcing the wol to like.... engage with losing zenos. 'cause that's what this has felt like, from the first shock of seeing his voidsent in the depths of troia to dealing with what are frankly a lot of big, open-ended questions about their relationship, like. that's loss! and there's gonna be grief there that they frankly aren't going to be able to express in polite, or any, company, because how do you express grief for this man who's done so, so much damage to the fabric of this world and its people, right? where do you have the space to do that?

idk it's important to me that the wol gets to start untangling that gnarly unhealthy ball of whatever emotional trauma they have around that relationship, and that it's not handled with contempt. that would be so easy, they could have come back and just let it rest but instead you get so many little moments of visible hurt and they're so gentle and it's like yeah. you've killed your friend, maybe the only person who's understood this part of you that you've got to keep under wraps cause it's not palatable, but it's the hero in you also.

#man idk i have a whole lot of thoughts to untangle abt nihilism and despair and hope and how theyre all tied up w zenos's pursuit of the wol #am i gonna sleep no im just gonna lie here and think abt zenos. #again. #just love the game being like HEY YOU CAN FEEL THAT LOSS! and then dropping u into war trauma lmao #yeah experience the grief and also the consequences of your actions #love this stupid fucking game #also the longer this goes on the more ilya is like okay zero darling my love my everything we have got to stop having thse conversations #in public cause there are some things i am not gonna be able to explain #to my friends and loved ones #thank u. #baby mode blogging #6.4 spoilers #endwalker spoilers #ffxiv #im not even finished w the quest stuff send help