#am extremely oblivious and blunt without realizing it so yk. i contain multitudes. it’s not a Lie

[munamania]

so okay. hi. i’ve a plan for monday. i am going to be as reasonable and chill as possible and just be like ‘hey sorry i had to bug you guys last semester had a bunch of ppl on my back etc etc’ (that’s about hammock/class situation if you’ve been here a while). also might try to find a really cool way to be like Listen i’m just not amazing at social cues and i didn’t know if i was bothering you at that music thing so like. my bad :-) but like in a nonchalant way that doesn’t sound like i’ve been obsessing over it. and then i think i’ll be in the clear in regards to bf at least kind of

#thing is i am overly anxious and will overthink every little reaction but i also #am extremely oblivious and blunt without realizing it so yk. i contain multitudes. it’s not a Lie #but also she was talking to me a Lot and i feel like a dick for yk. having that happen in front of bf. even if it wasn’t my ‘fault’ i just #did not need to be there yk just decided to be in my evil era etc etc #AND beyond all this. because i am making sure this happens at some point during or after our first class. i’m just going to be chill and #friendly but perhaps not as !!!!!!!!!!! 🥰 as i was because uh. as much as i nailed being aloof and chill when i was actively #facing away from her. the second we started talking it was a mess again. SO. i’m not going to do that to them #and more importantly. i’m not going to do that to me. i’m not going to get over my crush any time soon but #i’m not going to make it worse for myself by hating him and them and my life every time i see or think abt them #o think im being very mature. tbh. #now it’s just a matter of waiting until monday which makes me want to chew my own arms off. which is not the most mature thing #but i just want to get it over with. #film girl saga