#also thinking about how he wasn't lying when he told Plutarch he couldn't go back to twelve sober.

[pumpkinrootbeer]

ogfoofodoxx thinking about how the most defining character trait of haymitch is how protective he is. not in the sense it's the most obvious, but how all of his actions are fueled by this desire to protect. how hard he works at keeping katniss alive in the first games, him fighting to keep them from augmenting katniss's body, him yelling at plutarch to keep finnick from having to share his trauma, him being so involved in peeta's recovery and being the one to bring katniss home. him holding mayslee's hand as she died, fighting for plutarch to stay and rescue peeta, being the one to find katniss and finnick when johanna had an episode, begging coin to believe peeta's warning. it being heavily implied or either outright stated that he was one of the people who fought to protect effie.

makes me physically ill because no one does that for him. everyone who would of, died.

#DIES EXPLODES COMBUSTS #thg #haymitch abernathy #:v #haymitch acting like he doesn't care about anyone when he actually cares about everyone #he's acting like he's winning the idgaf war but love has disarmed him completely. #Tbc katniss and peeta would but they are literally incapable of being that for him. bc they are infant #also thinking about how we get this sense that while he has some modicum of power with the revolution his sway only goes so far #which is to say not far at all #the times we actually see what the negotiating process is like for him he has to beg coin to listen to him #and he says Plutarch didn't listen to him between cf and mockingjay when he tried to get them to stay for peeta #I just get this sense that most of the time he's in the room but isn't really allowed to make decisions #and constantly has to fight to be heard #I mean again I will always circle back to this they literally locked him in a room to detox #and the descriptions we get in cf is his withdrawal symptoms are incredibly severe #so clearly they weren't dependent on his imput #idk idk I just get this sense they valued his input up until the point he reminded them all he still views people as people. #him coaching katniss was to say in mockingjay during her speech in two also makes me chew drywall #how much of that is what he thought she needed to say to stay alive and how much is what he had always wanted to say #also thinking about how he wasn't lying when he told Plutarch he couldn't go back to twelve sober. #bc he gets katniss home and then immediately gets blackout drunk #I am of the opinion that he genuinely can't get sober while living in 12 #I like to think he lets himself leave eventually never to the capitol of course but in my hc he goes to 11 #just bc of his fondness for chaff and seeder but that's just a self indulgent headcanon #ALSO ALSO. #thinking about how he's fighting a revolution that he doesn't even believe will bring chance #well. he thinks it'll change things but that change will be temporary and fighting will break out again #my perfect pessimist idiot. in my heart of hearts he gets a therapist moves and actually recovers