#also like *19yo thoughts voice* ''something very bad will happen in 2020''

[eggmeralda]

when I was 19 in 2019 I got these Vibes about 2023, it wouldn't be good or bad it would just be a Significant year

2020 was so bad that 2021 could only be better, it started good and then I got paranoid that 2022 was gonna be bad in comparison, so I mentally prepared myself for 2022 months in advance

then by the summer 2021 suddenly became worse than all of 2020 combined, but it improved by about september

bc of the mentally preparing myself months before, 2022 was amazing, but bc it started so good I got the feeling that it wouldn't end well

the last 4 months were pretty bad, and then came 2023

I got many different vibes for it over the past 4 years, but one of the main things was that there'd been a pattern going since 2015

2015: extremely good

2016: extremely bad

2017: average

2018: pretty decent

2019: extremely good

2020: extremely bad

2021: average

2022: pretty decent

so 2023 was expected to be really good? but also it had to get up from 2022's bad ending so the goodness was gradual

my brain is prepared for a good last 4 months to compare to 2022's bad last 4 months

but also following the pattern, 2024 should be extremely bad, and once I've got the thought in my head that a year will be bad, there's no going back. which would explain the extremely bad year following an extremely good year

2015 and 2019 were unreal, which meant 2016 and 2020 would've looked bad in comparison no matter what, so they just completely gave up and decided to be awful

but anyway it's 'getting paranoid about next year' season, also I can never escape the patterns of time etc etc

#in 5 days it's the 10th anniversary of the beginning of my memory and dates obsession. which is fun #oh time thoughts why must you run my life #why must you keep constant surveillance on my thoughts and if i think the wrong thing then something disastrous will happen #fun fun times 👍 #also like *19yo thoughts voice* ''something very bad will happen in 2020'' #*19yo thoughts voice* ''2023 will be a significant year'' and then me paranoidly thinking what could be That significant that i'm getting #info about it now? oh my god someone's gonna die #and then by 2023 someone died #bc i reblogged that post saying 'reblog to get good news in late march' #which meant i left the thoughts unsupervised by late march bc i thought i was protected by that post #then my friend and his toxic girlfriend had a massive fight and i was like 'oh my god they're gonna break up this must be the good news' #then they stayed together and my sister's friend died instead #as if the time patterns were reminding me never to let my thoughts relax like that again #i need to always remember every memory and make sure i don't accidentally control the future again #i know realistically i don't control the future and i didn't cause my sister's friend to die and i didn't cause the pandemic #and i know my brain is very irrational #but still #this happens way too much and idk i just don't want something really bad to happen in 2024 #hopefully it'll do a weird swapover like with 2017/18 #bc before that odd number years were good and even number years were bad starting in 2014 #or like odd number years would start bad but end good and the even number years would be the other way round #but 2017 stayed neutral throughout and then 2018 started bad ended good #then until 2021 the pattern was swapped #2021 was weird bc it started and ended good but was horrendous in the middle #no other year has ever done that #so yeah 2024 could do something weird and swap with another year idk #but i'll have to see #ramble