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jeanvaljean24601 · 4 years

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Emmy Song Competition: With Music Branch Facing Hundreds of Choices, Is It Fair?

Now that first-round Emmy voting is completed, who will be nominated for the season’s best song? RuPaul? Hailee Steinfeld? Darren Criss? Kristin Chenoweth?

That’s right, all four actors are potential nominees in Emmy’s song competition, officially known as Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics … as are such musical personalities as the Weeknd, Sara Bareilles, Brad Paisley and Nick Jonas — along with about 200 other songwriters.

If you’re an Emmy voter in the music branch, how do you decide what song to vote for? Do you pick something you already know and like, or do you investigate some, or all, of the many tunes entered?

There are seven music categories, which encompass more than 300 separate programs, a daunting task for even the most diligent voter. The vast number of shows entered is overwhelming, and no one — especially working professionals, which constitute the bulk of the estimated 600 composers, songwriters and music supervisors in the TV Academy’s so-called “Music Peer Group” — can possibly see them all.

Emmy’s original-song category is challenging on several fronts. There are 103 tunes in contention, many from obscure series or movies, but also a surprising number written, or performed, by top writers and singers. Those may have an advantage simply because of their pedigree.

The Weeknd is a credited co-writer on a song from Fox’s “American Dad!,” country singer Brad Paisley on ABC’s “Brad Paisley Thinks He’s Special,” Sara Bareilles on the animated Apple TV+ “Central Park,” Nick Jonas on the Jonas Brothers’ Amazon documentary “Chasing Happiness,” Labrinth for Zendaya’s HBO series “Euphoria,” John Legend for the Epix series “Godfather of Harlem,” Ingrid Michaelson for Hulu’s “Little Fires Everywhere,” and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for HBO’s “Watchmen.”

A handful of actors, too, are credited as writers, including RuPaul on a song for Netflix’s “AJ and the Queen,” Kristin Chenoweth on Hallmark’s “A Christmas Love Story,” Hailee Steinfeld for a very contemporary song in Apple TV+’s period “Dickinson,” and Darren Criss on Quibi’s “Royalties.”

Documentary songs have a shot, particularly when they have already gotten plenty of promotion because they were eligible the previous year for an Oscar. Diane Warren won in 2016 for “Til It Happens to You,” the Lady Gaga song for the campus-rape doc “The Hunting Ground,” and Common won the following year for “Letter to the Free” from the racial injustice doc “13th.”

This year Warren has another such song, written for “Cracked Up: The Darrell Hammond Story,” which went to Netflix after a theatrical run last year. Similarly, Pharrell Williams is up for the Emmy for the song he wrote for the Clarence Avant doc “The Black Godfather,” having also been Oscar-eligible last year. Singer-songwriter Sia is eligible for yet another doc, “Seven Worlds, One Planet.”

There are three subcategories of songs that have a better-than-average shot at nomination, and the eventual award: “Saturday Night Live,” the weeknight talk shows, and the annual Tony Awards.

“SNL” has won three times (including two for Justin Timberlake, one of which was for the infamous “Dick in a Box”). This year the NBC weekend fixture entered five songs, which run the gamut from the questionable-taste “Let Kids Drink” to comedic ditties with Adam Driver (“Slow”), the Weeknd (“On the Couch”) and Adam Sandler (“Stuck in the House”).

Opening numbers at the Tonys won in three consecutive years at the Emmys (2012-14). Up this year is host James Corden’s live, 10-minute, elaborately choreographed performance at Radio City Music Hall in June 2019.

Name recognition may also add points for the late-night talk shows. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” entered two, while “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver,” “The Late Late Show with James Corden” and “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” have one apiece.

So don’t count out tastelessness as a factor. “Dick in a Box” won in 2007 (despite efforts by high-placed music-branch officials to get it disqualified for its rude content), and Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m F—ing Matt Damon” won the following year. This year’s questionable delights include graphic masturbation in a song from Netflix’s animated “Big Mouth” and a profanity-spewing John Oliver singing “Eat S—, Bob,” aimed at a coal baron who sued him.

Then there are the shows that are built around music — again, an advantage for branch members who can’t be bothered to check out shows they’ve never heard of. Disney’s “High School Musical: The Musical: The Series” entered four songs and the same studio’s “Descendants 3” submitted two.

Popular shows with musical components also loom large, including Amazon’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” Amazon’s “Transparent” musical finale, and Netflix’s musical drama “The Eddy.” And what to make of the song from Netflix’s fantasy series “The Witcher,” which has 29 million views on YouTube? (Last year’s winner was a song from “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” which routinely built musical numbers around its stars and scripts.) android tv box

Even Oscar-winning credentials are no guarantee of a nomination. “La La Land” songwriters Benj Pasek and Justin Paul wrote the sweet marriage-proposal song “Running Home to You” for “The Flash” in 2017 but the music branch passed. This year Pasek has two songs in contention for YouTube’s “Saturday Night Seder” fundraiser. h96 max x3

Are there too many nominees to reasonably be considered? What does a conscientious voter do?

“All voting members in the Music Peer Group are instructed to vote for the submissions they have seen and are worthy of nomination,” says Julie Shore, the TV Academy’s VP of awards and member services. “Beginning in March, they are provided with access codes so they can watch and listen to programming on the viewing sites provided by all the platforms, networks and cable networks engaged in For Your Consideration campaigning. They also can watch and listen to all the entries on the Academy’s FYC Viewing platform, which allows the voter to select the entries by category.”

“Most of them are pretty lame,” concedes one music supervisor who viewed a number of entries on the Academy’s streaming platform. (Variety saw about 30 of these on YouTube, but many songs there are accompanied only by a slide from the show, not the actual video content.) h96 max tv box

“You can vote for one, or all,” says another longtime member. “You have no assurance that anything has been seen. It’s just a coin flip, the whim of whoever logs in and says, I like that. It feels more like an online poll.”

Over the last two years, the TV Academy has dismantled the system that the music branch designed and implemented two decades ago, that was designed to ensure that every single entry was examined by at least a handful of fellow branch members. But it was complicated and costly, Academy execs say, and cost them voters — because in order to enter one of the categories, you had to agree to judge another one, and many busy composers and songwriters simply couldn’t take the time.

“The current voting procedures have resulted in a significant increase in Music Peer Group member participation,” reports Shore. h96 tv box

For many years, nominees in the song category were chosen by a “blue-ribbon panel” of top TV composers and songwriters, viewing all of the entries in one evening at the Academy. Sometimes as many as 40 would participate, and the results of their voting would determine the nominations in that category. “Everything was screened and vetted, so when the nominations came out, you knew that qualified people had really thought about this and spent time with it,” says one veteran.

The current system, says a multiple Emmy winner, “is what we had over 20 years ago. No one knows what to vote for and the more popular shows clearly have an advantage.”

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kairi-chan · 6 years

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I Got You (XXIV) - BoruSara

Title: Replacement, Yes or No?

Genre: Fluff / Hurt/Comfort/ Angst

Rating: T

Chapter 1: Childhood Friends, Chapter 2: The Dinner, Chapter 3: Disconnect, Chapter 4: Spill It, Chapter 5: Nighttime and Bottles of Beer, Chapter 6: Sunsets and Ninbucks Frappes , Chapter 7: Past and Present Dates , Chapter 8: Contemplation, Chapter 9: Awkward AF, Chapter 10: Punch Some Sense Into You, Chapter 11: Anything For You, Chapter 12: Reason For Jealousy, Chapter 13: Permission, Chapter 14: He’s Perfect, Chapter 15: Dreaming of You, Chapter 16: The New Girl in Town Chapter 17: One Down Chapter 18: Heart to Heart Chapter 19: Seriously Serious Chapter 20: Confessions Chapter 21: Bad Timing Chapter 22: When I’m With You Chapter 23: Time Apart

A/N: People do stupid and hurtful things when they’re in love...

The bell rang, and she packed up her belongings as the professor said some last minute reminders about their paper submission. Sarada walked out of her class, and the first face she saw was none other than--

“Boruto!”

“Hey!” He was leaning on the wall with his hands in his pockets. “Let’s get lunch together, Sarada.”

She smiled and replied, “sure.”

They had the same lunch break, who knew? Sarada had been so caught up spending all of her break times with Kagura that she didn’t notice she had a lot of common free time with her friends. Her worries of eating and being alone all the time suddenly disappeared. It was nice to be able to spend time with the rest of the bunch, and it was so surprising that she and Boruto nearly had the same schedule and she never knew.

--- “Eight weeks?” Boruto gaped at her. “That’s too damn long. Are you two going to be okay?”

Sarada leaned back on the tree and pulled her scarf up to cover her mouth. It was starting to get chilly, as autumn had finally arrived. She hugged her knees and forced a smile. “Of course. Two months isn’t that bad, right?”

Boruto placed his coffee down on the grass and frowned. “I guess not but… have you two ever been apart that long?”

She shook her head and her eyes drooped. “I don’t think I’ve ever been apart from anyone that long.”

He smirked. “Certainly not me. I don’t remember when we haven’t seen each other for more than two weeks.”

She was quiet. He was right, Boruto and Sarada had never been apart longer than two weeks, and this was usually because their families would go on vacation during the holidays. But other than that--Christmas, New Year, Thanksgiving, birthdays, anniversaries, and even sometimes during family reunions, they would see each other. For a moment, Sarada reflected on this, what if it were Boruto who had to go away for eight weeks? Would she also feel this unsettled, or would she be devastated?

“Hey…” Boruto squeezed her shoulder and she finally met his gaze. His eyes were soft and full of concern. “You got me, ya know? Just call me whenever you need help or whenever you feel lonely.” He then grinned. “Like I always am, ya know.”

Like he always is…

Sarada smiled. “I know. Thank you.”

The cold wind blew through the tree, rustling the branches, and causing some of the leaves to fall to the ground. There was something about the way the warm summer breeze had gone, and the green leaves turned orange and brown that sent a foreboding feeling to Sarada’s stomach.

---

During Kagura’s first week away, Sarada had always been on her phone. It really wasn’t like her to be holding on to it, checking it constantly, and replying the moment she got a text.

Boruto sat next to her during one of their lecture classes. He rested his chin on his palm and boredly watched her smile as she composed her reply.

I have never seen her so happy.

Until now, she still seemed so, and it tore his heart apart knowing how much she misses Kagura. Once their class ended, the students got up and started packing up, but Sarada was still stuck in her seat, furiously texting away as she bit her lower lip, to stop herself from grinning too much. Boruto rolled his eyes. He has had enough of this.

In one smooth move, Boruto pulled Sarada’s phone out of her hands and slipped it in his front right pocket.

“Hey! Give it back, Boruto!” Sarada glared.

“Get up, Four Eyes.” He glared back. “Class is over.”

Her eyes went wide and she looked around the lecture hall. It was completely empty, even the professor had already gone. “Oh… Sorry, I didn’t notice.”

“No shit, Sarada,” Boruto spat. “You didn’t even write down a single word from the lecture.”

Her gaze then shifted to her notebook, void of any notes. She blinked and then frowned before packing it all away in her bag.

Boruto felt her phone vibrate in his pocket, but he ignored it. As soon as Sarada placed everything in her bag, he picked it up and slung it over his shoulder before walking out of the room. “Come on,” he said, without looking at her. “We’re going to be late for our next class.”

---

Later that day, Sarada had an argument with Boruto. They fought over Sarada’s lack of focus during class since she was too preoccupied with her phone, and Boruto’s snippy remarks on how her grades could slip if she kept this up.

“I don’t need you to lecture me, Boruto!” Sarada shouted. “Give me my phone back. You have no right to confiscate it!”

“I’m trying to be a good friend, here!” Boruto yelled back. “You’re aiming for those Latin Honors, aren’t you? You think you’re going to get that by being on your phone during class?”

Sarada closed her eyes and covered her face with a pillow. He was only trying to help, and yet she had said so many hurtful things to Boruto. She slid the pillow to her chest and hugged it while she scrolled through her phone. Just a little while earlier, she sent Boruto a text, apologizing. He read the message but didn’t reply. It’s been more than ten minutes, and it was strange as Boruto usually replied the moment he received a message.

She put her phone down and sighed. First, her boyfriend moves away, and now Boruto won’t speak to her.

Fucking perfect.

---

Boruto didn’t bother having breakfast that day, neither did he get a cup of coffee at Ninbucks. What was the point? He only ever went there because Sarada loved their coffee. Since he was still angry with her, he chose to be stubborn and not text her. But was he really being stubborn or jealous?

He frowned at the thought.

Sure, Kagura was away, and he was just doing Sarada a favor by sticking close so she won’t feel lonely. Any good friend would do that, right?

You’re just waiting for them to crack, and when they do, you’ll be in the best position to steal her right away.

Boruto clenched his fists. No, I’m not. He told himself.

Kagura and Sarada are together, and even if Boruto loves Sarada, he would never tear them apart. Kagura’s his friend, too. Plus, Boruto was confident that Kagura would never do anything to hurt Sarada. All he ever did was make her happy.

But do you really know that, for real?

He growled at his own self-doubt and the demons whispering.

Is it so wrong to love her? Is it bad to want her for yourself?

His immediate thought was yes, but now that his classroom was coming into view and he saw the prettiest girl with long dark hair and eyes standing by the door, holding two cups of Ninbucks coffee and looking at him with an apologetic smile, all of his troubles faded away. Boruto found himself walking faster to come to meet her, and a smile growing on his face.

She smiled at him and handed him a cup. Boruto looked at it and saw that there was a post-it, and in her handwriting, it said, “sorry :(“

How could he have the heart not to forgive her?

Boruto took the post it, placed it in his pocket and extended his arm out for her. Sarada grinned and leaned into him for a hug, burying her face in his chest.

As her comforting warmth filled him, Boruto presses his lips to the top of her head and inhaled. As her scent invade his senses and clouded his mind, Boruto’s answer changed to, no.

You can read more of my stories in my master post, or visit my FFnet!

If you like my work, care to sit down and have a ko-fi with me?

#borusara #borusara fic #borusara fanfic #borusara fanfiction #i got you #borusara au #borusara college au #boruto college au #sarada college au #sarada #sarada uchiha #boruto and sarada #IGY #college au #boruto #boruto uzumaki

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years

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All Falls Down: A Retrospective

I really like Kanye West’s music. He has a very, unique, production style and can “see” melody in a way most cats don’t. His entry into hip-hop caused a fundamental shift in the sound, like Rick Rubin or Dr. Dre or early Diddy. Admittedly, I fell off the Ye bandwagon after MBDTR but, since I have dope ass Spotify, I figured I’d take a day and run through his catalog. I was very surprised to hear what I heard; what held up and what didn’t, how is sound has evolved, and the new fragility in his musical voice. I was curious as to why certain things sounded the way they did and decided to kind of prognosticate on why certain records are the way they are. I mused about it on a notepad while at work and these are the determinations I was able to make.

The College Dropout

Dropout is probably the best album Kanye has ever made. From production to rhyme to arrangement; all of it is a banger, front to back. I can listen to that thing without skipping one song. That’s rare. I can only think of a handful of albums I have ever done that with. Like, Hot Fuss and that’s probably my all-time favorite, right there. Lofty company, indeed. I think Dropout is so good because this is everything Ye had in him at the time. It’s the culmination of his life to that point and you hear every single bit of that on this record. From the frustration of working survival on Spaceships, to the brand slaving on All Falls Down, Ye is open, honest, and real, about who he is. Two Words is one of the dopest hip-hop tracks ever pressed and Through the Wire? Through the Wire is a top-10, all-time for me. It single-handedly got me back into hip hop. Hell, even the bullsh*t club records are bangers. You telling me Overnight Celebrity and New Workout Plan didn’t get you going when those strings hit? Are you f*cking kidding me? The College Dropout is a masterwork that most artists aspire to create at least once in their life, after years in their craft. Ye did it in his rookie outing. Nowhere to go but down, right? Nah. His follow-up is arguably better. Arguably.

Standout tracks: Through the Wire, Spaceships, School Spirit, Two Words

Late Registration

Registration is always the album the people point to as the best Ye ever made. I disagree. I think Dropout is the superior album, albeit, not by much. With Dropout, I listen front to back. With Registration, I found myself skipping tracks. I can’t say they were better or worse than Dropout’s admissions, but I still passed on more songs than expected. Registration is kind of a paradox to me. Like, I know Kanye was kind of a conceited dude before he dropped his album. He gassed himself to fuel his ambition. But once you get here, once you get that shine, other people fuel that desire, you know? Like, you don’t need to get high on your own supply because you’re already there. Registration feels like Ye bought into his own hype and you can start to see the cracks of Fame Crazy setting in. Its kind of shows in his music a little bit. Gone are the poignant, personal tales, that carried Dropout, replaced with sophisticated ignorance. There are more club-friendly tacks on this album than there are personal records and that’s fine. Registration is the bop but if I wanted to listen to a story about f*cking hot b*tches and Jacob watches, could pick up a litany of other albums out at the time. Why was Kanye different now that he chose not to be? Still, the few tracks that stay true to that initial Ye outing, are some of the best in his catalog. Roses and My Way Home (which was a rejected track by Common) scathe the soul but it’s Crack Music that really f*cks you up. There is a deep cutting truth on that record that stands in stark contrast to literally every other message on that entire album. On a personal note. I find it funny that Gold Differ is a thing and then Ye marries Kim Kardashian. The irony, man.

Standout tracks: Crack Music, Roses, Gold Digger, My Way Home, Touch the Sky

Graduation

Graduation is the capper to the Higher Education Trilogy of records. I dunno if that’s the official title, but the running theme of college ends with this one. Seems like a fitting moniker for these three records because, after this one, dude’s sound changes considerably. Graduation is a serviceable Kanye West album. It’s easily he weakest of the three. I don’t think anyone with a semblance of musical intelligence would argue that. This is Ye resting on his laurels. Ye at the height of his powers, giving us a formulaic submission. That’s not to say this thing isn’t devoid of his genius, because it isn’t. Graduation is better than any hip-hop record which came out that year. It that’s more a testament to Kanye’s ability than it is to the album itself. Except for maybe three or four tracks, Graduation feels lazy. It feels listless. This is a Kanye growing tired of the process. It’s Jordan before his first retirement. Due’s already got three titles and an MVP. He’s dominated the league for years. What more is there for him to prove? F*ck, dude, Stronger, by itself, is better than anything that had dropped in the decade before. That record feels right at home on Registration or Dropout. Homecoming is f*cking gut-punch of introspection and self-reflection. But, at e same time, you got bullsh*t like Drunken Hot Girls and Barry Bonds. The thing about Graduation is, this record FEELS more like those latter two tracks, rather than the former. It FEELS like a product of it’s time, not an innovation of the culture. Coming of two, classic albums that revolutionized hip-hop, Graduation staying the course is a disappointment. Don’t misunderstand me, Graduation is a dope f*cking album. It’s also a classic. It’s just the weakest of Ye’s best.

Standout Tracks: Good Morning, Champion, Stronger, Homecoming

808 and Heartbreaks

808s is the rawest, most honest, album Kanye has ever made. This sh*t was the most p[personal we have ever seen him, and it echoes on every track. See, around this time, right before production, Ye’s mom died. She was his biggest fan, the one person who supported him from the get. Her passing devastated dude and he’s never been right since. I can hear that in his music, to this day. I can see that in the way he carries himself. He was always kind of all over the place and insecure, but his ma was there to kind of rudder that wayward Kanye cruise. With her gone, he was lost. And that’s what this record feels like; Kanye lost. In all honesty, I think this album is superior to Graduation in the fact that it’s Ye, trying to find that passion again. Ye’s experimenting with his sound and production style, sussing out how to best articulate his anguish. 808s feels like Dropout but at the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. The illest thing? Everyone hates this record. They think it’s the worst of his catalog. I wholeheartedly disagree. On the creative merit alone, its one of his best but lyrically? Holy sh*t. Did you people even LISTEN to this album? This is Kanye in morning. He’s giving you everything he is, at his most vulnerable, and you all just rejected it as track. The audacity. A cat like Ye, who has given you hit after hit, banger after banger, creates something for himself to move past one of the darkest chapters in his life, and it’s me with wholesale condemnation? Really? Nah. Go back and listen to it again. Actually pay attention this time. 808s is one of his best and ya’ll are clowns to think otherwise.

Standout Tracks: RoboCop, Coldest Winter, Amazing, Welcome to Heartbreak, Bad News, Say You Will, Street Lights

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Coming off 808s and his break-up with Amber Rose, Ye put out his most eclectic album to date. This record feels distinctly Kanye. There is am undertone of experimentation here, that you haven’t felt since probably , ever. I’d say Dropout is close but even that has kind of a uniform structure. MBDTF is all over the place. There is a distinct gospel influence but, other than that, every record feels different. Like, Monster is a braggadocious romp full of hyperbole and feeling one’s self, while POWER is a ballad written by a person who knows how dope he is. Sh*t’s a contradiction and I love it. All of the Lights is an emotionally annihilating, what-if tale about a man who lost his family over something stupid, while Blame Game is an accusation narrative baring its fangs on a woman who was not faithful or truthful in a relationship. There is a duality in this record that is never clearer than on Runaway. This is a cautionary tale about Ye, himself, but, at the same time, a plea for affection that he needs to be whole. It’s insane. MBDTF is one of Ye’s best. Of his catalog, I think it’s my second favorite, after Dropout. It might not be better than Registration, but it feels more genuine than that one. It feels more Kanye than that one. And the more Ye you get on a record, the better.

Standout Tracks: All of the Lights, Who Will Survive in America, POWER, Gorgeous, Monster, Lost in the World

Yeezus

Yeezus has got to be the most frustrating album in Kanye’s catalog. The production of this thing is legit and, occasionally, Ye hits you with one of those classic lines, but most of the content is vapid bullsh*t. I’ve been listening to this thing on repeat trying to figure out why all the little kiddies think it’s so great and all I hear is mediocrity. Almost greatness. Disappointment. There is a dope ass album in here somewhere and I can kind of hear it between the lines, so to speak, and that sh*t is regular ass infuriating. There aren’t any tracks outside of Black Skinhead that don’t devolve into utter nonsense. Maybe New Slaves, but even then, it’s overall forgettable. Like this entire goddamn album. I don’t like Yeezus. It’s ye at his worst but, at least, it’s still Ye. And, even with all of its problems and frustrations, it’s still better than Pablo.

Standout tracks: Black Skinhead, On Sight, Blood on the Leaves, I Am a God

The Life of Pablo

Pablo is trash. The only thing worth mentioning of this record is Ultralight Beam. Everything else is uninspired drivel. This is as much a Kanye album, as The Dynasty: Roc la Familia was A Jay-Z album and if it was billed as such, I probably wouldn’t have an issue with it. It wasn’t. This was marketed as a Kanye West album, when half the tracks aren’t even his. The other half, he didn’t even write. The majority of everything on this record, Kanye didn’t do, and it shows. I talked about Graduation being phoned in, but this piece of sh*t is the real affront. It’s insulting to my intelligence that this thing would even be considered a proper Kanye West attempt but, that’s what everyone wants you to think. I know literal hyperbeats that swear this record is good, that the content holds up to even his best but, bro, you can’t be serious. There’s a f*cking Desiigner track on here as album filler. Oh, but Ryan, I hear you say, so was My Way Home, right? No. Common rejected that. It wasn’t on HIS album. This sh*tty record was Desiigner’s lead f*cking single. Why the hell is it on Pablo? Why the hell is even Pablo, period??

Standout tracks: Ultralight Beam, I love Kanye

What the f*ck even is Ye? Yo, this sh*t is unsettling. This is a cry for help. These are the ramblings of a madman and I am concerned. I don’t think he meant to create a cautionary tale about fame and sycophancy but that’s exactly what Ye is. This is a very troubled and damaged person, off his meds, being enabled and emboldened by a circle that legit doesn’t care about the person behind the music. Ye is proof that he never recovered from the loss of his mom and having literally everything in the world, can’t fill that void. I mean, dude is a mogul in several industries. He’s married to who many consider one of the most beautiful women in the world. Cat has three kids and one on the way. Millions upon millions of dollars and the clout to do whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it. If graduation is fame crazy Kanye and 808s is Kanye in morning, then Ye is Kanye spiraling deeper into depression. That sh*t is wild to hear. Genius is a fine line between inspiration and insanity but Ye is an audible diary of a man crossing that line. It makes for profound music, Ye is one of my favorites in his catalog, but at what f*cking cost, man? How f*cked up was he when he made this sh*t? All these little mini-albums? Pusha’s was trash, but that production was on point. Kids See Ghost is a masterpiece. Ye is close to be being a classic. All of them were produced by Kanye. All his rhymes were written by his own hand, something I don’t think he’s done since probably Dropout. Ye is incredible but, f*ck, do I feel terrible enjoying it so much.

Standout Tracks: All of them. The entire run time. It’s only seven songs and they all hit hard.

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wordsarepretty · 5 years

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UFC Nashville: Thompson vs. Pettis – Fights to make

The UFC is deep into their run of Fight Night events, and while the churn of ‘guys/gals fighting’ has developed a certain monotonous air to it, they’ve been regularly rescued by some fantastic main events. Anthony Pettis became the latest fighter to pull an event from entirely forgettable to memorable, on the back of his highlight reel KO of Stephen Thompson. Otherwise, outside a few other highlights, UFC Nashville didn’t leave many fighters in position to make a serious leap up their divisions.

So, is Anthony Pettis really a welterweight top contender? Can Curtis Blaydes turn wrestling dominance into another headlining opportunity? And just how little did Jussier Formiga gain by beating Deiveson Figueiredo?

To answer all these questions – and very little else – I’ll be using the classic Silva/Shelby fight booking method of years past. That means pitting winners against winners, losers against losers, and similarly tenured talent up against one another. If you’d like to take your own shot at some matchmaking glory, leave a comment below starting with, “Call up Momma and tell her I’m fine.” I’ll pick one winner from the responses to join me next time.

This week’s winner is BE reader “TheBirdsDen”:

Hi everyone, Im Bird. I have been involved in combat sports pretty much my entire life. I have been a BE member for a long time and I dont miss Snowden at all! I always liked Zane though.

ANTHONY PETTIS

Bird – That was a shocking and impressive victory for Showtime and I really didn’t see it coming. Pettis just starched one of the top welterweights in the world. While the RDA rematch is the obvious choice, RDA is coming off a loss and unlikely. I think Showtime vs Jorge Masvidal is the right fight to make at the current time. Both are coming off big wins and near the top 5 of the division, and the fight would be entertaining.

Zane – First things first, Pettis isn’t going to get that RDA fight ASAP. And, if RDA loses to Kevin Lee, then fighting Pettis really wouldn’t make a ton of sense. Much like Masvidal, Pettis’ recent history may not be filled with consistent performances, but he now has one of the best possible, most emphatic wins at welterweight. A lot of me would really like to see which former lightweight is able to keep their shocking momentum rolling. I’d also like to see what Pettis can do against Robbie Lawler, but it’s sounding more and more set that fans are getting Lawler vs. Askren 2. Fights against Demian Maia or Ponzinibbio would be the other principal options. But, since I really don’t find myself engaged by the idea of a Masvidal/Edwards fight (and I don’t think Masvidal wants it either), then book Pettis vs. Masvidal. Given Masvidal’s cult-favorite status and Pettis’ history as a former champ – and both men’s huge wins – it seems like a guaranteed action headliner. Pettis vs. Masvidal is a great fight.

STEPHEN THOMPSON

Bird – Wonderboy has a bunch of potential rematches that no one wants to see. Woodley 3? No thanks. I’m also good on running a Till rematch back. Why not match Wonderboy with another violent striker in the division? Obviously brain trauma is a good reason… but I think Wonderboy vs Robbie Lawler would be a barnburner. It would keep the winner relevant at the top of the division while the loser would start a slide toward being a top 10 gatekeeper.

Zane – An absolutely crushing loss for ‘Wonderboy’ and one that really puts his hopes of another title shot on the rocks. Pettis was there for Thompson to put together a dominating win and instead he got sparked out. Unfortunately for him, there aren’t too many welterweights coming off a loss and unbooked right now. I wouldn’t be averse to him getting in there against an up and comer like Luque or Martin or Zaleski, but off two straight losses it seems more likely that he’ll wait for a bit until another high profile welterweight is riding defeat. If the UFC really is set on running Lawler/Askren back, let Thompson fight the loser. The loser of Lee vs. RDA wouldn’t be a bad look either. If he just wants to get back in there as fast as possible, then there are plenty of hungry fighters looking to make their name off him. But assuming he takes his time, then Stephen Thompson vs. the Askren/Lawler 2 loser would be just right. And obviously, if that Askren/Lawler fight doesn’t happen, then Thompson/Lawler is just too good to pass up.

CURTIS BLAYDES

Bird – I dont think Blaydes vs JDS is the fight to make, but it could happen. No way we do Blaydes vs Ngannou 3. I am more interested in seeing if Blaydes can beat Alexey Oleinik. I’m basically trying to figure out if Blaydes is Mark Hunt’s avenging angel since Willis and Oleinik have recent wins over Mark Hunt. So, obviously Curtis Blaydes vs Alexey Oleinik 2 is the fight to make.

Zane – Curtis Blaydes gave a strong list of next fights he wants: Stipe Miocic, Junior Dos Santos, or Derrick Lewis… unfortunately he didn’t give a performance that’d make fans all that interested in seeing those fights. So much of what happens at heavyweight right now depends on what happens with DC and whether he gets Lesnar or Ngannou or Stipe gets his rematch. If Ngannou doesn’t get the title shot, then Ngannou vs. JDS is a fight I’d way rather see, and I doubt Stipe is at all interested in fighting Blaydes (even if it’s exactly what the UFC might want). And unfortunately, Derrick Lewis just took a hard loss and just had knee surgery. That leaves… Alexander Volkov, if he beats Overeem? Or maybe the Tuivasa vs. Ivanov winner? Hopefully the UFC can coax Stipe to take on Blaydes, but if not Blaydes vs. Volkov off a win is more likely what he’ll end up with.

JUSSIER FORMIGA

Bird – I have been wanting to see Formiga fight for UFC gold for a long time; I think he will finally get his chance. Henry Cejudo is the only fight that makes sense for him now. Its crazy to think what a big deal Uncle Creepy’s victory over Formiga was in the Tachi Palace days. Now Uncle Creepy’s best days are long behind him, and Formiga is still at the top of the division. Its very impressive, lets hope he finally gets his title shot.

Zane – Uhh… pass.

No, no… we can figure this out. The UFC is effectively shuttering flyweight by all appearances, and they’re actively pursuing Henry Cejudo vs. Marlon Moraes for the bantamweight title. So Formiga’s status as top contender really does get him absolutely nothing. If he’s willing to go to 135 (which he’ll probably have to, to stay in the UFC much longer) then this’d be a rock solid time to call out Aljamain Sterling, who’s seeing his own title hopes gets shoved aside. But, if he doesn’t want to try bantamweight just yet – in hopes that White changes his mind – then the only thing that makes any other sense is Benavidez vs. Formiga 2. I’d say make it for an interim title, but that’d just be all the more harsh when White stripped the winner two months later. Joe-B vs. Formiga 2 is the ONLY flyweight fight to make.

Bird – The hyped prospect had a lot of trouble facing the southpaw stance in her first fight at 125. Lets have her face another hyped southpaw striker prospect in Antonina Shevchenko. They have a combined 16-0 record, and a nice buzz surrounding both of them. If Barber wins it sets her up for a ‘Bullet’ Shevchenko fight in the future.

Zane – Barber had a rough first round against a huge step up in competition, but adjusted, bit down, and turned the tide to get the win. For a prospect? That’s a great sign. Technique can be improved, fight IQ and determination are a lot harder to coach in. If the UFC doesn’t rush her straight to the top, there are several strong options: Gillian Robertson, Mara Romero Borella, and even a fights with Montana De La Rosa or Andrea Lee if they want to test her against other fast rising prospects. Of all those, the Robertson fight may be the safest matchup. But, just because I’d like to see Barber get the chance to push the hype she’s built for herself, I’ll say book Maycee Barber vs. Montana De La Rosa. MDLR has looked more polished and aggressive lately, and has four straight submission wins. But she’s also lost to top prospects and seems to be feasting on sub-par competition. Time to see how much she’s improved, or if Barber can keep it all rolling. Barber vs. De La Rosa is a strong next step.

MARLON VERA

Bird – Vera has 3 stoppage victories in a row and destroyed Frankie Saenz. Peter Yan is a bit higher in the rankings, but hes 4-0 in the UFC and I think these two would produce a very entertaining fight. Whoever wins will be on a very impressive win streak.

Zane – Tendency for fouls aside, Marlon Vera is building a serious resume in the bantamweight division. He has seven wins to go with his four losses and has looked sharper and more dangerous each time out. Against Saenz, he even broke his curse of slow starts, rocking him with a jab for the early win. My personal preference would be to see him take on another really tough, well seasoned fighter that can force him to prove his composure again. Someone like Cody Stamann would be just right, or maybe Rob Font. But, Vera called out Nathaniel Wood, and that’s gotta be the fight to push for. It’s rare that an experienced, long time UFC talent coming off a strong win calls out a fresh prospect. For Wood, it’s a great opportunity to get the kind of win that could put a number next to his name. For Vera, it’s a high-risk, low-reward action fight. If Vera’s willing to take the chance, who am I to stop him. Marlon Vera vs. Nathaniel Wood is a great fight if Vera says he wants it.

Bird – I doubt she wants another crack at Liz Carmouche right now, so why not match her up against Andrea Lee. Lee has a name and is 2-0 in the UFC. The division is shallow and this fight would make sense at the moment.

Zane – As much as the loss to Liz Carmouche was a terrible way to make her UFC debut, this win over Davis will likely put Maia right in line to get some more notable fights (most likely with other less popular flyweights the UFC wants to put on prelims). Fights against the loser of Calderwood/Chookagian or Jessica Eye – after her meeting with Shevchenko at UFC 238 – would both be strong options there. There’s also a potential bout with the winner of Roxanne Modafferi vs. Antonina Shevchenko. A chance for revenge for Roxy, or another name veteran for Antonina to build her resume against. Eventually, however, I’m going to say that the UFC should book her against Andrea Lee. There’s no sense in waiting for other results, when there’s a perfectly decent matchup right there waiting. Andrea Lee vs. Jennifer Maia should be entertaining.

RANDA MARKOS

Bird – She looked very impressive beating Angela Hill with a quick armbar. The 11 fight UFC vet would be a good match for Cynthia Calvillo, who is 5-1 in the UFC and would be a nice current step up for Markos.

Zane – At this point, it almost feels like Markos has fought everyone in her division. I’ve long wanted her to take a TUF rematch with Felice Herrig (same goes for Tecia Torres), but both those women are fighting off a loss right now, as is Claudia Gadelha. Fortunately, Cynthia Calvillo is coming off a very reasonable win that didn’t get anyone too thrilled about charging her up into a top contenders bout. And that should make her the perfect next fight for Markos here. A win for Calvillo and her resume will be that much deeper when the chance for a big fight presents itself. And a win for Markos would likely come based off the kind of improved aggression that she showed in this fight. Randa Markos vs. Cynthia Calvillo would push either woman toward bigger bouts down the road.

OTHER BOUTS: Justin Willis vs. Tai Tuivasa (win or lose to Ivanov), John Makdessi vs. Marc Diakiese, Jesus Pinedo vs. Marcos Mariano, Deiveson Figueiredo vs. Sergio Pettis, Luis Pena vs. Mike Grundy, Steven Peterson vs. Anderson dos Santos, JJ Aldrich vs. Justine Kish, Bryce Mitchell vs. Chris Fishgold, Bobby Moffett vs. Nad Narimani, Frankie Saenz vs. Johnny Eduardo, Alexis Davis vs. Ashlee Evans-Smith, Angela Hill vs. Felice Herrig, Chris Gutierrez vs. Matt Schnell, Ryan MacDonald vs. Su Mudaerji, Jordan Espinosa vs. Rogerio Bontorin, Eric Shelton vs. Magomed Bibulatov

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chestnutpost · 5 years

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I Worked As A Dominatrix For Over 5 Years. Here’s What It’s Really Like.

This post was originally published on this site

A few years ago, at 34, I found myself being interviewed for the position of a dominatrix at a prominent New York City BDSM dungeon. I lied during that interview. A lot.

There was no way I’d reveal that I was there because I wanted to make a documentary about the women and men inhabiting the fascinating underground world of BDSM. For the record, we were not underground; we were on the second floor of an office building in midtown Manhattan ― a very convenient location for guys to come in for a quick domination session first thing in the morning, during their lunch breaks or right after work.

My brilliant master plan was to get access to the women who work as dominatrixes and their clients and learn about the everyday business of running a reputable BDSM dungeon (a legal business in New York state). I thought I’d do this job for a couple of weeks, then go on to make my documentary, which would premiere at the prestigious Sundance Film Festival and make me the toast of the town.

If someone had told me this 10-minute interview would instead change my life forever, I would have laughed at them.

I still remember how fast my heart was beating as I rang the bell and waited for the manager, a woman in her 50s, to open the door and let me in.

As I entered the space, I stopped to look around. The “dungeon” was an office just like any other office I had ever been to or worked in. Up to that point in my life, I had held about 15 different jobs including sales, working the register at a bakery, being a secretary at a PR firm and a few waitress gigs while I studied to be an actress. I had fully prepared myself to walk into a room with chains, whips and all sorts of torture devices, but there I was in an ordinary waiting room with cheap art hanging on its walls, a tiny locker room and a coffee machine.

The manager held my New York state ID in her hands and asked me about my accent, my height and my shoe size. Less than 10 minutes into the interview, I was offered a job and asked to pick a dominatrix name for myself.

Three days after that interview, I began transforming from Stavroula to Mistress Kassandra — much easier to remember and pronounce, right? My alter ego gave me permission to wear fierce red lipstick, high heels and clothes that made me feel like a million bucks ― from leather pencil skirts and corsets to vinyl dresses and catsuits, expensive nun and nurse costumes, even turtlenecks and tuxedo pants that covered my body completely and left everything to the imagination. The communal closet at my new job was like the FAO Schwarz of BDSM and I was in heaven!

Mistress Kristy Riding crop used in pony training session: The clients would pretend they are young ponies in training.

More importantly, I felt in total control of my body. Mistress Kassandra was powerful, unapologetic, vicious, sweet, innocent, dirty. When I was her, I could be anything I wanted to be and didn’t have to explain myself to anyone. Not only that, but this newfound power and confidence in myself was celebrated, respected and very well-compensated.

What documentary? I was hooked on being a dominatrix and there was no going back.

One of the first things I learned at my new job was that men of all ages, social classes, and religious and ethnic backgrounds found the dungeon to be the only place they felt safe enough to take off their mask, remove their armor and reveal their vulnerabilities, traumas and pain, in an effort to heal and become better men. The surrender of their minds and souls was, and still is, one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed in my life. And it was all happening at the hands of powerful women.

When we hear the word “dominatrix,” we tend to think of men being tortured by thin, beautiful white women with dark hair, dressed top to bottom in leather. Here’s the truth: The women at my new job came in all shapes, sizes, skin colors, ethnicities and ages. They were married, single, had children, went to school to get their master’s, etc.

Some of them were honest with their families about the work they did; most of them kept it a secret since people’s ignorance usually leads to judgment. Every single one of these women was spectacular in her own way and I realized soon enough that I was going to learn a lot from them. I was, and still am, in awe of any woman who does this job and knows how to do it well.

Mistress Kristy Loved wearing this catsuit! I bought it with my second paycheck so I didn’t have to wear the ones the other dominatrixes used.

Working at the dungeon was very much like any other job when it came to scheduling, showing up on time, signing off at the end of the day, keeping the space clean, treating the clients and co-workers with respect, hanging out in the break room when it wasn’t busy, etc.

We worked eight-hour shifts but we only made money when we booked a session. When a client booked one of us for a one-hour domination, the house would get $240 and the dominatrix would get $80 out of that plus whatever the client tipped, if he tipped at all. We had clients who would come in for a quick half-hour session ― the rate for that was $150 and the dominatrix would get $50. The manager would keep track of all the sessions and we got paid every Friday morning.

Making $80 in one hour or even $50 in 30 minutes was great for me, but for the women who had to pay their mortgages, kids’ tuitions or student loans, this money wasn’t enough. There were times when we had close to 20 dominatrixes working the same shift and most of them never really made any money. Some chose to stick around and see if something would change; others quit after a week or two. Then we had the ones who’d show up for a shift even on their days off because they had nothing better to do. The dungeon had become their comfort zone and something like a second family.

Privacy is the No. 1 priority when it comes to this job. I have yet to meet the man who is confident enough to admit that he sees a dominatrix. We also had some pretty powerful and well-known men who would frequent the dungeon for a good punishment session. So the doorbell had a legit company’s name written on it, and the manager on duty was the only person buzzing people in, checking the cameras and welcoming them at the main door. The rest of us knew to stay put and not exit whatever room we were in till the client was sitting nervously behind the closed door of an available room.

Some of the clients would call in advance to book their dominatrix, but others wanted to meet the new girls. I felt the most nervous as I was walking down the hallway and heading into the room; I never knew who was waiting to meet Mistress Kassandra behind that door ― and what if it happened to be someone I knew? Once I saw that it was a complete stranger, I was relieved and very interested to get to know them.

Mistress Kristy This was a classic confession session. The men would stand in front of me and confess all their sins and wrongdoings, and ask for forgiveness.

I always let them know that they could tell me anything they were feeling in the moment and I would listen and help them without judging them. Men are full of feelings, insecurities and sensitivities. And that’s OK. A big kudos to the men who are brave enough to deal with their own shit, even if that is inside the four walls of a dungeon!

In between sessions, I’d ask the other dominatrixes to show me how to use the electric chair and the humiliator, how to crack the whip or work the pizzle, how to set the tone for the session, how to do piercings (yikes at first, but then I loved it!), how to spank the right way and how to make these fancy knots you see in bondage-related images — single column tie, double column tie, zip snare!

I wanted to play with every toy and experience every type of play allowed while keeping in mind that safety and consent are the two most important things when it comes to being a great dominatrix.

Most of my clients were smart, kind, respectful, vulnerable, decent men looking for an experience they couldn’t have with their “other half.” Many of them were single men and, I have to admit, there were a couple of guys I fantasized about meeting outside of work.

Of those who were married, the majority didn’t see their visit to the dungeon as cheating since there is no actual sex involved. Still, this job is sexual by nature. Some clients would reach orgasm through masturbation at the end of the session but only after asking my permission to do so. At the same time, many men chose another type of release: speaking about their emotions without censoring themselves, crying or asking to be hugged. If they wanted a hug, or to kiss your hands and feet to show you their gratitude, they had to ask for permission to do so.

Some of the more popular sessions involved bondage and discipline (plenty of men need to be tied up in order to connect with their emotions and let it all out), brain fade (any type of psychological play that keeps the male in a submissive state), CBT (cock and ball torture), corporal punishment (caning, flogging, paddling), cross-dressing (so many men want to act and dress like women!), foot worship and/or worship of the feminine divine, animal play (some men identify with dogs and ponies and love being trained and treated like them), asphyxiation using gas masks, mummification (using a body bag or plastic wrap) and one of my most favorite ones … complete surrender. These men are sick and tired of being in charge, but they can’t be anybody else in the outside world because they’d stand to lose everything. So, for one or two hours every week they’d come to me and surrender their egos, their pride, their bullshit, their beliefs and their wearable wealth from their Rolex watch to their Gucci leather loafers.

Mistress Kristy Getting creative and putting M&Ms on the floor as a reward while teaching the puppy how to get into the cage.

Seven out of 10 times they’d cry by the end of the session and, for me, that was when they were the most manly. I also loved this type of play because it taught me to trust my gut again, something I did as a little kid but was taken from me as I grew older and was conditioned to second-guess myself.

Inside the dark rooms of a BDSM dungeon, where all the noise is shut out, I’d get to silence the noise in my head. I’d forget about the clock ticking, the things people expected of me and all my obligations. I’d put away my phone, just like my clients did the second they walked into the room. I learned to be present in the moment where the only thing that mattered was the freedom to express myself and connect from an authentic place to the other person in the room.

And, for the first time in many, many years, I was listened to without being interrupted, without any objections and with genuine interest from my clients who wanted to know what I wanted, what I thought and why. I raised my voice and it was OK to do so. I released my anger and frustrations and guess what? Nothing. Terrible. Happened.

Here I was, a 34-year-old woman who was rediscovering herself and healing the wounds she never knew she had, all while making close to $2,000 a week; many of my clients were very generous when it came to tipping for helping them experience something new and reach a whole other level of consciousness.

Meanwhile, they were the ones helping me.

At the end of my second week at work, I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed something different about me. I stood taller. I felt in control. I realized that I had started walking more slowly, apologizing less, breathing easier, sleeping better and smiling only when I truly felt like it.

The men I dominated helped me tap into my power source by simply reminding me that I had every right to do so. Hearing this day in and day out worked miracles on me.

Mistress Kristy I loved this dress and this photo got a lot of attention on the dungeon’s site since all the other dommes always posed in black clothes.

My two weeks at the dungeon turned into two months, and then I went on to work as an independent dominatrix for a little over five years. Working as an independent dominatrix is a whole other ball game and it comes with many dangers and risks. It made me wiser and taught me how to protect myself.

I never made my documentary, but I am currently developing a reality series and writing a nonfiction book about my experiences.

As an actress, writer and director, I felt a tremendous need to share my story in my own terms in hopes that it would help people realize that we are all broken one way or another, and that we all have the same desires and needs — starting with the need to connect and to be accepted for who we truly are.

So I created a scripted series called “SWITCH,” along with an incredible team of professionals, with the ultimate goal to stay true to the story and tell it from a woman’s perspective. SWITCH follows a group of dominatrixes and their clients as they lead double lives and struggle for power, identity, love, family and ambition.

Courtesy of The Toska Matrix; Design & Illustration by Viktor Koen A poster for SWITCH.

A couple of months ago, I realized I simply can’t keep up being a part-time dominatrix and a full-time writer, director and actor so I hung up my whip and paddles and gave away most of my clothes. I am still making time to meet with certain men, women and couples who need my help on a one-on-one basis. Doing this gives me great joy and it’s something I hope to continue doing for years to come.

Working as a dominatrix taught me how to have compassion and love myself unconditionally, to walk away from situations or people when they don’t value me, to stop waiting for permission to create the life I’ve always wanted. It taught me to go after everything I want fearlessly, because I have every right to do so. And here’s a little secret: so do you.

Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch!

MORE ON HUFFPOST PERSONAL …

The post I Worked As A Dominatrix For Over 5 Years. Here’s What It’s Really Like. appeared first on The Chestnut Post.

from The Chestnut Post https://thechestnutpost.com/news/i-worked-as-a-dominatrix-for-over-5-years-heres-what-its-really-like/

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future-rp · 6 years

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neo’s lead rap3, lead vocal 2, center kei

neo black’s main dance, sub vocal, & leader mobius entertainment 05 vocal / 05 rap / 10 dance

sometimes he wondered what would his life be like if his parents stayed together, if they had managed to make a life in america.

but they hadn’t and he had always had to face the reality, they hadn’t. his mother had given everything up for her his dad. she was the daughter of one of korea’s top actresses, honestly they came from a family actors and actress but none had had reached the star power of his grandmother. and his mother would be next. that was the plan at least but no, her daughter ran away to america with follow her husband and his dreams.

his mother knew it would be impossible to come back from that.

but she had to deal with in, she did follow him and no she had a child and broken marriage. his career did take off but it cost him his family and it didn’t seem as if he cared. so his mother did what she had knew. there was the divorce and moved back to korea. ( she didn’t like it in america anyway. ) and she refused to beg for help. so it let kei and his hard-working mother.

until she received a phone call.

and a few days after they found themselves moving. at the time his mother explained it the best she could. his grandmother wanted them to come home, she wanted to see her grandchild and they would all live happily together. but growing up it quickly became apparent that wasn’t the case. his grandmother demanded perfection. from his mother and from him. he saw what living like a star meant, sure now they had money to spend. in fact too much money to spend, they could have the best of the best. but it came at a price. she had to bow her head.

and his grandmother expected him to bow his head as well. ( and when it came to her, kiyoung just couldn’t do what he was told. )

it was made known to him at a very young age that he would follow the family path. she would groom him to the next star and she would keep the family name alive. this was a legacy ( her legacy. ) and he wouldn’t ruin it. his face had been in the public at some point, family events, anything press related. ( as a child and into his early teens. then kiyoung took to going missing. ) but the public had expectations, and she would see to it that he lived up to them. it wasn’t just his name on the line, it was hers.

so when he started to show his desire to do something different. when he started to skip extra lessons in favor of training himself and watching performances in hongdae. it was clear his mind wasn’t focused the big screen. he wanted the stage and he made it known. they couldn’t go a day without clashing. he was sure with every casting offer missed in favor of dancing, she was pissed. with every offer he turned down to hang out with the cream of the crop, she was ready to strangle him. he continued to toe the line, what would be too much. what wouldn’t be enough. what would make her finally snap and write him off. ( and kiyoung knew he had to play the game well. and she knew it also. if he got cut off, what would he have? what money would be his? in her eyes, he was nothing without his the ‘na’ name to back him. )

but he tried his best when he started going on auditions. he started off with the small companies, those desperate to enough to take on any trainee. and he kept getting turned down, even when he tried with a mid-tier sized company, they didn’t consider him. it seemed as no one wanted him. none. and it was after his last failed attempt, when came home and threw himself on the couch. the disappointment was clearly on his face. why didn’t anyone want him? why hadn’t his skills improved enough to the point that no wanted to give him a call back? and is grandmother answered it for him.

she wanted to force him into submission. if he didn’t bow his head willingly, she would force him to do it. if it meant taking away what he loved, he want his dreams were. she’d do it. he would lead the life she wanted, how she wanted and when she wanted. and kiyoung still didn’t have thoughts of complying. not until he auditioned at every single company korea had to offer. and finally came to the company he thought would be his last hope; mobius. if there was ever a moment kiyoung performed like his life was on the line. it was now. and left with the panel giving him expressionless faces, and kiyoung already assumed that was a firm no. what would he do now? it wasn’t until he got home that the company finally gave him a call back, he had been accepted. there wasn’t a chance to really celebrate it before the old woman caught him.

“congratulations.“

( ah, the confirmation he never wanted. did he take it now? was it because of her? would he be able to swallow his pride for the chance to finally be signed? because this was it. he would get into the company she chose, one that she had connections too, one that would be able to pressure him into acting for the sake of the ‘group’. it was a reminder that until he had his own, she would own him. )

he did.

since the first day he walked into the company until he debuted. ( and even after. ) he endured it all. not being able to be brave enough to ask his company if he was good enough, or if it had been his grandmother behind the scenes. would they push him into acting? would follow her plan and get a nice rewards? he endured the whispers that started the moment he stepped. ‘oh didn’t hear you hear? you know his family right? i heard him sing..he’s not that good. his family bought it.‘

then he was announced as a part of a debut line-up and the company ( quickly followed by the public ) hated the thought. because he must have bought his way in. ( didn’t he only train for four years? i trained longer…money can really buy anything huh? ) and he discovered how it was it was to piss people off with a care-free smile.

and as neo continues to grow, he’s already feeling the pressure. from his family, from his company, from the public and his own fandom that thinks believes he only wants to use neo as a stepping stone. and he tries his hardest because he wants neo to succeed the most. ( he swallowed his entire pride to debut, he threw away everything then he’d have to find himself laughable. )

there’s only one thing left to do. hide it. hide everything, always laugh, do his best. show everyone his budding talents and continue to try and appease the people that didn’t believe him from the start. he could only work hard until he had enough of own to stand on his own two feet. until he didn’t the ‘na’ name to hard carry him.

all until he cracks.

( but he’ll try his best to do it with a smile. )

#ft. neo bio #ft. neo black bio #ft. accepted

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ultrasfcb-blog · 6 years

Text

Garth Crooks

Premier League champions Manchester City were held by Wolves at Molineux, Unai Emery recorded his first win as Arsenal manager condemning West Ham to a third straight loss, Mohamed Salah scored the only goal as Liverpool beat Brighton, and Fulham scored four against Burnley to secure a first win since gaining promotion back to the Premier League.

Elsewhere, Bournemouth fought back from two goals down to draw with Everton and Harry Maguire scored a stoppage-time winner for Leicester at Southampton.

Chelsea and Watford maintained their winning starts with victories over Crystal Palace and Newcastle respectively, while 10-man Huddersfield held on for a point against Cardiff.

But who did enough to make my team of the week? Read my selections and then pick your own XI.

Garth’s team of the week

Goalkeeper – Rui Patricio

Rui Patricio: The saves that denied Sergio Aguero and Gabriel Jesus were excellent but how Rui Patricio managed to push Raheem Sterling’s cracking shot on to the bar I will never know.

And how on earth did referee Martin Atkinson refuse to award Manchester City’s David Silva a penalty kick? You occasionally see games that make you wonder what exactly the referee saw at the time.

As far as I was concerned, Ruben Neves practically assaulted Silva in the penalty area. Penalty or not, without the heroics of home keeper Patricio it’s the Wolves who would have found themselves on the end of a mauling.

Did you know? Rui Patricio made five saves against Manchester City, compared with just one in his previous game against Leicester.

Defenders – Trent Alexander-Arnold, Aymeric Laporte, Harry Maguire, Ryan Bertrand

Trent Alexander-Arnold: This lad gets better every time I see him. Against a dogged Brighton, the Liverpool and England full-back showed a maturity well beyond his years.

I was surprised to see Arnold standing on his own ready to take the free-kick that hit the bar while Mohamed Salah and James Milner stood and watched.

Alexander-Arnold is a defender who loves to play forward, not square or back, because he’s not afraid and has the talent to do it. But the moment of the match for me was the 40-yard pass to the feet of Salah on the other side of the pitch. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. What a ball.

Did you know? Trent Alexander-Arnold completed five open-play crosses – no Liverpool player made more.

Aymeric Laporte: This was a game that Manchester City should have won comfortably and to Wolves’ credit the Midlanders made the champions work like dogs just to get a point.

City’s equaliser was down to Aymeric Laporte, whose bullet header was unstoppable. From the moment Ilkay Gundogan delivered the set-piece Laporte never took his eyes off the ball until he had thundered it past Patricio.

It needed something a bit special to get past the Wolves goalkeeper with the form he was in.

Did you know? Aymeric Laporte scored his first goal for Manchester City in any competition and his first in the top five European leagues in 37 games, since scoring for Athletic Bilbao against Villarreal in April 2017.

Harry Maguire: It was only a matter of time before Harry Maguire got into my team of the week. The former Sheffield United and Hull centre-back had a super World Cup for England and the player has not allowed a scintilla of speculation linking him with a move to Manchester United to affect his game.

He was as solid as a rock for Leicester against Southampton in defence but probably the most unlikely person on the pitch to get the Foxes’ winner in open play – and that’s what he did.

Precisely what this victory meant for Leicester’s manager Claude Puel on his return to St Mary’s – having been unceremoniously booted out of the club – is anyone’s guess, but I bet he slept well.

Did you know? Harry Maguire made a total of 10 clearances against Southampton – the highest in Leicester City’s team.

Ryan Bertrand: In a better team Ryan Bertrand would almost certainly have gone to the World Cup with England. There’s no doubt about the lad’s ability.

His magnificently struck goal against Leicester was testimony to that. Few full-backs in the country can strike a ball like that. What a pity his Southampton team-mate ruined it all with a dive Olympian Tom Daley would have enjoyed.

John Moss was absolutely right to send off Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg for a second yellow card for being so galactically stupid and I just hope that Ryan Bertrand told Hojbjerg so in the dressing room afterwards. More about dressing room culture in The Crooks of the Matter below.

Did you know? Southampton’s Ryan Bertrand netted his first Premier League goal in 43 appearances, since scoring against Chelsea in April 2017.

Midfielders – Jean Michael Seri, James Milner, Marcos Alonso

Jean Michael Seri: If ever Fulham needed a boost then Jean Michael Seri’s fourth-minute blockbuster was it. The Ivorian’s strike flew past Joe Hart like a rocket.

The last I heard, this was a player we all thought was going to Barcelona, so I’m not entirely sure how he ended up at Craven Cottage. But with goals like this, who cares?

As for Burnley, this is the second time they have lost having played midweek in Europe. At the end of last season I told Sean Dyche to play the kids in the Europa qualifying rounds but he looks like he’s taking these games far too seriously. Ditch this tournament before the proper draw takes place in Monaco and you get caught up in all that glamour.

Did you know? Jean Michael Seri scored his first Fulham goal with his first shot on target in the Premier League.

James Milner: I feel compelled to include James Milner among my selection because if I don’t he will continue to be overlooked for those who are more skilful, excellent finishers or those who simply have a better day.

What you get with Milner is nothing special but you do get a wonderful level of consistency. In fact Milner is almost always a candidate for my team most weeks, such are his performances.

The way the Liverpool captain pounced on Brighton’s Yves Bissouma was reminiscent of a cobra and with a bite to match. Brighton’s error cost them the fixture. The way Leon Balogun gave Bissouma the ball in such a difficult position with his back to the play lacked any thought or consideration for his team-mate.

Did you know? James Milner completed 69 passes in the opposition half – more than any of his team-mates.

Marcos Alonso: When Marcos Alonso takes to the field he almost always affects the game. If he’s not scoring goals then he’s making them.

Against Newcastle this very elegant player did both. This is the second consecutive week Alonso has starred for Chelsea in a run of games that has seen the Blues unbeaten with maximum points.

As for Rafael Benitez and Newcastle – the limited resources at the Spaniard’s disposal at St James’ Park raise the question: is this really the place for him?

Did you know? Marcos Alonso covered 11.39km against Newcastle – only team-mate Jorginho covered more distance.

Forwards – Eden Hazard, Aleksandar Mitrovic, Roberto Pereyra

Eden Hazard: The penalty given by referee Paul Tierney was debatable but there is nothing debatable about the man who took the spot-kick, or his performance. Eden Hazard strolled through this game and was head and shoulders above everybody else on the pitch.

The Belgium international seems to have been given the freedom to do whatever he likes under Maurizio Sarri. Not so under Mourinho or Conte. Both Sarri’s predecessors had volatile temperaments and fragile relationships with Hazard.

For all of football’s rhetoric about sports science, fitness and the tactics of the modern game, there’s one thing that will never change. Managers need to take care of their best players or their best players will eventually desert them.

Did you know? Eden Hazard has now scored seven Premier League goals against Newcastle – he has not scored more against any other team (also has seven v West Brom).

Aleksandar Mitrovic: What a fantastic purchase Aleksandar Mitrovic is proving to be for Fulham. The Serbian international left Newcastle with his tail between his legs and a big question mark about his ability to cope in the Premier league.

I must say, I saw Mitrovic play at the Cottage in the opening game of the season against Crystal Palace and I wouldn’t have paid £22 for him never mind £22m.

But since his arrival in London from St James’ Park he has not stopped scoring and may be the catalyst to Fulham’s survival in the Premier League. I still have my doubts about his ability to star in the top flight, but what a start!

Did you know? Aleksandar Mitrovic has scored 15 league goals since his Fulham debut in February – the Serb is matched only by Mohamed Salah in the same period across the top four tiers of English football.

Roberto Pereyra: This was a spiteful game and I was amazed I didn’t see players sent off. One of the few bright moments in this rather vindictive affair was the ability of Roberto Pereyra and his brilliantly taken goal.

The Watford winger has scored three goals this season and there look to be more in the bag. But what was referee Anthony Taylor thinking by ignoring Etienne Capoue’s appalling tackle on Wilfried Zaha?

What’s worse, Taylor then insists on booking Zaha for cleanly winning the ball a few minutes afterwards. Watford won this game comfortably in the end but not before they targeted Zaha and bullied Palace into submission. No thanks to Taylor.

Did you know? Roberto Pereyra has been directly involved in seven of Watford’s past 11 goals in the Premier League, scoring six and assisting another.

Now it’s your turn

You’ve seen my picks this week. But who would you go for?

The Crooks of the Matter

I have been watching the fly-on-the-wall documentary about Manchester City’s title-winning season and, I must say, it’s been absolutely riveting.

I spent a good deal of my early life in football dressing rooms and they are not for the faint-hearted. In fact the day I retired I went to great lengths not to go anywhere near another one for a very simple reason – if you are not a member or part of the team you have no business being in the room at all.

To be given an opportunity to see what goes on in a modern-day dressing room, its facilities, equipment, the science, not to mention the methods adopted for a modern generation of players, is as fascinating to me as it gets.

So I am immensely grateful (and so should the viewing public be) to get a glimpse of what happens during the most intense moments, not just in a Premier League dressing room but the dressing room of the champions. These glimpses might be commonplace in the USA but they are not to be taken for granted here.

I remember seeing a similar documentary some years ago when my dear friend and contemporary Peter Reid, during his successful managerial spell at Sunderland, gave a camera crew total access.

I remember thinking at the time, has Reidy gone mad? It’s one thing having your mistakes choreographed in front of a football crowd but it’s something entirely different when those mistakes are highlighted in living colour in front of a watching nation. It takes a very special individual with a lot of courage and self-belief to do that.

My admiration for Peter grew after his moment in the spotlight and the same is true of City boss Pep Guardiola. That Jose Mourinho has seen fit to be so dismissive of the documentary is hardly surprising. The programme was showing all who wanted to watch just how badly Mourinho and Manchester United had just had their backsides kicked.

Manchester City beat their neighbours and fiercest rivals by a staggering 19 points, so to call the documentary ‘classless’ was in itself misjudged and ill-timed, and made Mourinho look tawdry.

The reality is Guardiola has taken football to another level and Mourinho is desperately struggling to come to terms with that fact.

BBC Sport – Football ultras_FC_Barcelona

ultras FC Barcelona - https://ultrasfcb.com/football/11060/

#Barcelona

#Football

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x-mentalia · 6 years

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Thank you for your submission, the mods have accepted your application into the ring. Please have your blog ready by 06/02! Name: Olena Shevchenko

**I just want to say something really quick: Within my app, there are some vague mentions of things like abuse (like child abuse and spousal sexual abuse) but I didn’t put much detail, there’s only mentions in passing as needed. I just wanted to give a heads up before anyone goes in and gets surprised. Thanks!!

Name: Olena Shevchenko

Country: Ukraine

Alias (Optional): Vesna

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 36

Species (Mutant/Human): Mutant

Group: X-men

Appearance (1-2 Paras): Olena stands at a fairly intimidating 5 feet 10 inches, and has a naturally strong body shaped like a barrel, complete with a strong stomach and noticeable biceps and leg muscles. She’s a big girl, that’s for sure, never having been very small. She does carry some extra weight on her hips and thighs, making her look soft, but she’s actually very strong and resembles a weightlifter. Her chest grabs attention most places she goes, boasting a G cup these days after two children; but the rest of her body is proportioned so she doesn’t look too top heavy. She has very short light golden blonde hair and big blue eyes that are sharp like a hawk’s. Even through the things that she’s seen, her face is still fairly youthful, with hardly a hint of crows’ feet, or 11s between her eyebrows, or laugh lines marking the outsides of her natural downturned pout. Really, she has sharp, sculpted beautiful features upon her face that have lent her a few too many objectifying comments that usually included her body too. Her hands are far from feminine, rather with wide knuckles and palms and short nails, too busy with work to deal with pampering.

Face Claim (OCs must answer): It’s not that important but I do use the model Sveta Utkina as a reference. Even though her body type is totally wrong and she’s grown her hair out since I started using her, I’m still in love with her face.

Personality: Overwhelming and overbearing are traits typically associated with Olena. She talks, a lot, and she’s awfully nosy, unable to get her nose out of other people’s business. She almost always has something to say, but it’s typically good-natured. Her somewhat lacking knowledge of English being noticeable with incorrect grammar and searching for unknown words, coupled with the way she feels all emotions so intensely, tends to make her come across as tactless; but rest assured that everything comes from the bottom of her big heart. She was born with a maternal instinct and a passion for caring for others, and she always goes more than out of her way to make it known that she cares. She’ll take care of you even if you protest and tell her you’re fine. And she seems to have this instinct that tells her something is wrong, whether someone isn’t feeling well or something bad is going to happen; it isn’t a power, it’s just a weird instinct that tends to be right.

She’s weird—so weird—and doesn’t give a damn if somebody thinks so; her purpose in life, after all, is not to please others with her existence. The way she rambles about obscure subjects, especially medical cases and phenomena that she’s experienced in her nursing career, shows that she’s not very affected by the gory or the macabre, rather finding it all fascinating and worth examining to learn from. You can find her watching disgusting horror movies and she will just be picking apart the inaccuracies of the gore. She’s also extremely blunt with her words, lending from the fact that she’s not well-versed in euphemisms or anything else non-literal in English. She will speak her mind; and although she’s not the most eloquent in English, a fact that sometimes bothers her a little, she will not mince her words and make everything as clear as she can, speaking her mind freely. She isn’t private about herself or her thoughts, only hiding things to protect her family. This can easily be traced to her abusive childhood, and her loveless former marriage, spanning years of being unable to speak her mind or do as she pleases; now, she uses her ‘freedom’ to make up for lost time.

Oh, and it’s terribly obvious that Olena usually sees things in black and white. Good and bad, no in between, because, at heart, she is an incredibly fierce woman. Though many may see a loving mother and friend, she is also a fighter, unafraid of getting her hands dirty. And though she is affectionate, often calling others sweet pet names, she has a bit of a fatalistic, pessimistic streak that pushes her to always be ready. You might never have met someone so protective of their children, but Olena would walk backwards into hell for her daughter and son. People who have wronged her—her parents, her ex husband—are often Olena’s motivation for doing things, to show she can be so much better than she was always assumed to be.

She is wild, passionate, and untamed, having the ferocity of a dedicated warrior. She is thoroughly dedicated to her causes and to her allies and friends. She is a lionness, waiting to pounce.

Strengths: Physically strong; great control and skill with her powers; generous; well meaning; thoughtful; openminded

Weaknesses: Proud; often lets her emotions take control; overbearing; crass; forgetful; nosy

Backstory (2-3 Paras): On August 24, 1981, a pair of twins were born in Kyiv, a boy and a girl. The boy, named Orest, quickly became his parents’ pride and joy; while the girl, Olena, became an afterthought. The couple were never interested in having a girl, which became amplified when they had three more boys over the next several years. All four of the boys were treated with care, even though the family was essentially in poverty; whilst Olena was meant to take care of the home and the younger boys while their parents were working. She had little freedom, not even being able to make her own choices about her appearance, and for her whole childhood she had very long hair and was forced to wear unsightly clothes, as her quickly developing body gave her a bad reputation and was a subject of her parents’ constant torment.

Living somewhere like Ukraine, and having abusive parents, can really throw off a sexuality crisis even more; and the poor girl just thought she was going crazy when she began to have strange thoughts. But it was never at the forefront of her mind, as Olena’s powers first began to show up when she was twelve—a private emotional outburst led to a dead field bursting into bloom with dandelions. She didn’t have much time alone to mess around with these strange abilities, however, until she was a few years older. Despite being very intelligent and making high marks in school, Olena’s parents just wanted her to get married, as they believed taking care of a house and having children was all she was good for. At the time, the legal age for girls in Ukraine to marry was 17; so in 1998, at the age of 17, Olena wed Anton, a man several years her senior

Olena entered the marriage with a lack of affection for Anton, and a plan. She agreed to marry the creep, who had an obsession with her (or rather, her body), and ride it out for a few years so she could obtain a degree. She was actually successful in not consummating their marriage for a couple of years, as she used her nursing program as an excuse as to why she wasn’t home; when she was actually finishing shifts at her job and classes at the medical school, she would stay out even later so she could mess around with her powers in private and become more familiar with them, discovering some fascinating things.

Eventually though…

Kalyna was conceived and born in 2001. Olena still had enormous contempt for her husband, but she felt nothing but love for her daughter. Having completed her nursing degree the year prior, she didn’t have much time to recover after the birth before going back to work in the children’s ward of the hospital she worked at. With Kalyna in the care of the mother of a friend, Olena worked her fingers to the bone to make sure her daughter would have a good life. On days off, she would take her baby to the outskirts of the city, avoiding Anton, and have quiet time whilst practicing with her powers.

It was an uptick in crime in an adjacent neighborhood that first drove Olena to really test out her abilities as a heroine. Enlarging and manipulating some pitiful plants growing between cracks in the sidewalk helped her apprehend a shooter one night, making the plant wrap around his leg and cause him to trip and fall, keeping him in place while help came.

Symon was born when Kalyna was 3 years old, and Olena was still working herself to death at the hospital, though she loved her job dearly, almost as much as she loved her children. She had practically no rest, in between working and caring for her kids and gaining a reputation as a quiet vigilante. Never letting herself be fully seen, the strange occurrences with the plants became linked with a figure that became known under several names, including Jaryla, Kupala, Lada, Vesna (all of which being Slavic pagan deities relating to plants), and even Demeter; but Vesna seemed to stick the most, both in the press and in public opinion. And public opinion was still split in Kyiv, and Ukraine at large, among mutants. There was (and still is) distrust of the government, questioning many of their decisions; though mutants did not technically have legal discrimination, they were still treated poorly by many government officials. But much of the public saw mutants as the children of or even new reincarnations of the old pagan gods.

And some of those mutants sure could protect them even better than the police.

Caring for sick children by day, helping needy citizens by night… Olena embraced the Vesna figure and eventually made herself a costume so she could disguise herself while putting herself out to help more. Though she was based in Kyiv, and her schedule was restricted by her job and her family life, the figure of Vesna gained national attention, which even began to spread to a few other countries. It was the strongest and most empowered Olena had ever felt.

In 2010, Olena filed for divorce. In 2011, she was free, and had custody of her children because of the case. Kalyna and Symon, now 10 and 7, held contempt for their father as well, since he was never a caring figure and always very cold and distant to them. They stayed in Ukraine a couple more years, during which time the childrens’ patronyms were changed to matronyms, and they legally bore their mother’s maiden name. At the height of her notoriety, and when political issues were rising, Vesna vanished for months. This, of course, was when Olena and her children immigrated to the United States, along with many other Ukrainians.

Moving takes time and settling, but their new home within New York state was so much more comfortable than the life they had been leading before. With all intentions of gaining full citizenship in the United States, Olena initially took up a low-key life, not taking on any trouble so she could keep up her eligibility as a candidate for citizenship. She became restless, however; and a few months in, the figure Vesna popped up in America, known by Americans who kept their eye on international oddities and mutants.

Olena was surprised, however, to find out the much more polarized opinions of Americans about mutants. She was helping people with her powers…and they wanted her dead, simply because of her powers? It didn’t make much sense. Even with the thought in mind that some mutants did bad things with their powers, it just wasn’t right to stop all mutants ‘just in case.’ Being incredibly strong willed, the only option for Olena was joining the X-Men to help figure out some solution. Holding a civilian job and caring for her two teenage children while living off-campus and having to go to the headquarters for training proves to be an extremely busy life, and she runs the risk of possibly burning out; but quitting is not an option.

Mutant Questions

Plant Manipulation: The power to control plant-life. Having had her powers since she was a young teenager, being well-practiced, and already being an established heroine, Olena has wide mastery over her powers and can be considered very strong. Olena is capable of creating plants from thin air. She can also make existing ones healthier. The ones she creates are always of the highest quality.

She recently discovered the ability to create hybrids, although this is not fully developed. Olena can drain the life out of a plant, which will give her more physical strength. She’s not exactly Captain America but she’s in better shape than the average person. She can detect the health of an existing plant, and tell whether its conditions are good or if it’s being harmed (and diagnose if it’s getting too much or too little sun or water, or if the soil is bad).

She can bring dead plants back to life, although this is more taxing on her. Olena needs a higher caloric intake to be able to use her powers consistently. She also needs regular doses of sunlight and plenty of water.

Plant enhancement: The power to augment, grow or bring plants back to life and even create them. Olena can increase the amount and health of plants, flowers and other produce, heal and otherwise nourish them and influence environment to reach and stay on the ideal range to help plant-life flourish. She can accelerate their growth and even create them from nothing if needed.

Plant growth: The power to influence the growth of plant life. Olena can influence and accelerate the growth of plants, causing them to mature with supernatural speed, grow to unusual size, and produce in abundance. She can cause plants to grow from seeds to full-grown plants in moments, cause them to flower and produce fruits, seeds, etc. outside season, cause a cut plant to grow roots and other similar feats. This extends to fruits, vegetables, vines, flowers, and branches.

Plant generation: The power to generate plants. Olena can generate plants, including vines, moss, fungi, and parts of the plants, such as leaves, seeds, fruits and flowers, and manifest them anywhere she wants. She does not need to do this in soil, and can even make trees grow on the floor inside. Generating poisonous plants causes a trace amount of the poison to enter her system, and can make her sick, depending on the severity of the poison auses a trace amount of the poison to enter her system, and can make her sick, depending on the severity of the poison and how much was generated. This extends to fruits, vegetables, vines, flowers, and branches.

Vine manipulation: The power to control vines. Olena can create, shape and manipulate vines, tendrils, stems or runners of the plant with a growth habit of trailing or climbing stems or runners, the specialized stems, leafs or petioles with a threadlike shape that is used by climbing plants for support, attachment and cellular invasion by parasitic plants, generally by twining around suitable hosts. The user can cause vines to grow, develop thorns, move/attack, mutate vines by rearranging DNA structure and revive withered or dead vines.

Chlorokinetic combat: The power to utilize plants in combination of physical combat. The main usage of this is chlorokinetic whip generation, in which she creates vine that she can easily use as whips and lassos.

Drawbacks:

Like an actual plant, Olena needs plenty of sunlight and water to effectively use her powers. Being cooped up inside and working can be extremely draining on her, and she will need some time to recoup. She also requires a high caloric intake, especially if she is creating and/or enhancing high amounts of edible plant matter. Just in general, she burns lots of energy and calories while using her powers. They can also dehydrate her quite a bit.

Creation of plants is limited to her own knowledge of plants. She can’t just make something she’s never heard of, and she can’t do it just by looking at a book or online. I hope that makes sense. Basically her powers are limited to her personal knowledge. She could make a tree shoot up out of a concrete floor; but unless there’s some sort of earth directly beneath it, the tree (or whatever plant) won’t survive.

If she creates any sort of poisonous plants, Olena runs the risk of some of the poison also materializing inside of her body. Although it won’t be as effective as actually ingesting or touching the plants, creating a large amount will up the dosage inside of her. Also the worse the poison, the more toxic the effects in smaller dosages.

The existing plants that Olena may enhance to be healthier and live longer can still be affected by the soil and weather. While they’ll last a little longer than usual, they are still, unfortunately, capable of losing the fight eventually.

Really, using her powers can just drain her energy, especially if she’s creating too many plants. She has built up some resistance but is also prone to over working herself and pushing her limits too far, which has led to burnout before.

Lit Writing Sample:

Someone close to you has just discovered you are a mutant, how does your muse react before the other can reveal their feelings?

“Sestrenku…”

Olena set her jaw firmly when she heard the tone in her twin’s voice. She and Orest had always been more alike than they ever wanted to admit, even in adulthood when they lived a world apart. And she knew he was feeling serious about a suspicion he’d been having. And Olena had a sneaking feeling she knew what he was thinking about. They’d been close their whole lives, even when their parents were in control and Orest had had much more freedom than his sister.

“Orest,” she supplied evenly, transferring the phone from between her ear and shoulder, to now being held in hand. She would at least give him the benefit of focusing all her attention on the conversation, rather than splitting it between him and cutting coupons. He deserved as much. An angel, he was, like their younger brothers.

“Lenku, I know there has always been something amiss. You have always been hiding something from me; which, I will admit, is impressive, but some secrets are too big to be hidden effectively.” His voice was calm, and mostly even, though shaking slightly. His timbre had always been a touch more delicate than Olena’s.

“I came out to you years ago,” she replied loudly, and lamely. That probably wasn’t what he mean; and even her sexuality had been no surprise, as twins always have a special connection.

“I think there’s another coming out that you need to do, though.” She could hear him shift. He was a very large man, nothing about his body delicate, and he’d never been capable of being quiet. “There was always something else you were running off to do whenever you had the chance. And all those times Mariya wasn’t able to watch the kids for longer and you begged and begged for me or someone else to keep them on nights you worked because you needed to stay out longer…”

Olena swallowed thickly.

“And those weird things always happening in your neighborhood, or the one near it.”

She remained very still for several moments, silent, idly studying the metal blades of the kitchen scissor blades, not unlike the pair she had used to cut off her braid twenty years before. Oh, she knew exactly what her brother meant. The clues were really too obvious, and she was fortunate that it had taken this long for it to come up. Orest remained quiet too, ever so patient, just waiting for her to feel comfortable.

Finally, she inhaled softly, and expelled a long breath. “Are you asking if I am one of them? The extraordinary people? The…mutants?” She spoke the last word in English, softly, as if someone was listening in. She only ever spoke in Ukrainian with her brothers, occasional English slang words sneaking in based upon each sibling’s knowledge. And mutant almost felt like a slang word.

“Da.”

Olena licked her lips, pausing, then replied, “Yes. Yes, I am, Orest, and I’ve hidden it from you and Mykola and Havryil and Kyrylo for so long because I didn’t want to potentially put your lives in danger just for being associated with me. People never really knew what to think in Ukraine, but…it’s so much worse here in America, some humans want us dead simply because some mutants use their powers for bad things.” The flood gates were open as Olena poured out her thoughts, spilling from her head and her heart. She rested a palm on her forehead as she confessed, feeling weak and defeated. “All I ever wanted was to save people and keep them safe and now I’ve wrapped myself up in this gigantic thing, trying to solve a problem for the whole world. And the kids know but I don’t ever let them anywhere near my dealings because I want them to be safe too. Orest, if any of you—you, the boys, the kids—were ever harmed because of my associations, I don’t know what I would do, because it would be my fault. And so I only ever hid it because it was for your safety.”

Clearly he was stunned by the outburst, as Orest initially replied with his own silence. Olena panted softly as she caught her breath after her impromptu rant—she was prone to them, as her twin knew, but they sometimes became embarrassing. “It makes sense that you didn’t tell us,” Orest finally replied. “I read about mutants in the news sometimes, and the dangers they’ve faced.”

She licked her lips as she waited for him to continue.

“As long as my sestrenku is a hero, however… I will always be proud. You must be working very hard, having your job and being a mother and also being a hero. You’d best be taking care of yourself!”

Olena felt herself relax when her brother’s response was favorable, and she released a little laugh, though it came out sounded nervous, as she was still coming down from her little emotional outburst. “Bratku, not once in my life have I ever taken care of myself, and you know that just as well as I do.”

“Nonsense, the day you walked out on that dick, what’s his name, is the best thing you’ve ever done and you’re still benefitting from it. So tell me more about this mutant thing, if you can? Unless you’re sworn to secrecy. In which case, tell me and I swear I won’t tell anyone else.”

The woman chewed on her lip, wondering where to begin. She supposed there was a nice place to start. “Vesna. You’ve heard of her? The heroine?” A pause. “That is me, the one with the plants. I am literally the hero Vesna.”

She heard him lean forward, obviously enthralled. “No! Really? That’s awesome! You will have to tell me all about it! What you can actually do! How long have you had them?”

She giggled, now excited about sharing secrets with her brother, something they had never really been capable of as children, as she had always been forced to watch him and their other brothers from behind some sort of electric fence. “I was twelve! Imagine going through puberty with powers!“

#accepted

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rickhorrow · 7 years

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15 to Watch + top tech week of 91117

• The 2017 NFL season is officially underway. This past offseason was full of drama, excitement, and big names making big headlines. The Atlanta Falcons have a new stadium that still has problems with its roof, Tom Brady and his Patriots are favorites to win it all again, and Colin Kaepernick remains a free agent. With that, the NFL is kicking off the new season with a full head of steam. According to NFL Marketability Research conducted by E-Poll Market Research, the NFL brand still has the highest awareness of all professional sports, while remaining the “most entertaining” and “better than competitors.” The New Orleans Saints, Green Bay Packers, and Arizona Cardinals came out as the “most appealing” NFL franchises, while the two Los Angeles clubs – the Rams and Chargers – came in the bottom two slots. Individually, Larry Fitzgerald is the most appealing player in the league and Brady has the highest awareness among his peers. The NFL remains the gold standard among U.S. pro sports leagues, and actions by many, many NFL players and other athletes throughout the traumas of Hurricane Harvey and Irma – such as the Texans’ J.J. Watt raising over $30 million for Harvey relief – remind us that while every athlete can’t win an MVP award or stand atop an Olympic podium, true winners have hearts of gold.

• Sloane Stephens on Saturday defeated Madison Keys in straight sets to win the U.S. Open, capping a "remarkably rapid rise after sitting out 11 months because of foot surgery." Stephens is "only the second unseeded woman to win the tournament in the Open era," which began in 1968, joining Kim Clijsters, and Stephens’ victory came atop a U.S. Open women’s semi that featured an all-American cast for the first time since 1981. Prior to arriving in New York, the 24-year-old's 2017 earnings stood at $310,000 and her career earnings at $4.5 million, but that now stands at over $8 million after she collected a $3.7 million winner’s check. USA Today notes that Stephens has become the "new media darling of tennis.” (It doesn’t hurt that her boyfriend is soccer superstar Jozy Altidore.) And the Los Angeles Times’ Helene Elliott writes Stephens' win came at the right time for the "suddenly bright future of American women's tennis.” Meanwhile, TLA Worldwide, which reps Stephens, sent an email congratulating her on the win and listed her marketing reps. Also in the winner’s circle: top Stephens’ sponsor Under Armour; she also stands to make millions more in endorsement deals as a result of her triumph.

• The inaugural Indy Women in Tech Championship presented by Guggenheim concluded Sunday with a victory by Lexi Thompson. Fans lined the ropes at The Brickyard Crossing Golf Course to watch 144 of the world’s best golfers compete for the IWiT Championship Title. The final stretch came down to Lydia Ko and Thompson. Ultimately, Thompson pulled away with a four shot lead over the competition to take home the inaugural Indy Women in Tech Championship presented by Guggenheim Title and the $300,000 winner’s check. Thompson joined the tradition of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway champions after her final round of the IWiT Championship by kissing the infamous Yard of Bricks, drinking milk, and receiving a victory wreath. Her win capped a successful weeklong schedule of tournament events designed to provide awareness and funding for specific women and tech initiatives, particularly those focused on robotics, STEM days, and career transitioning for those re-entering the workforce. Remarkable that this was only the first year of the Indy LPGA event, which came together under Guggenheim’s dedicated stewardship. The IWiT team has set a high bar, and look for even more women to benefit in 2018, inside the ropes and outside of them.

• Dallas Cowboys second-year quarterback Dak Prescott has leveraged his massively successful rookie campaign this offseason to expand his sponsorship portfolio. According to Yahoo Sports, Prescott inked more than a half-dozen new endorsement deals this offseason thanks to his “performance, storybook rise and relatable charisma.” Prescott is now set to make an astounding “10 times” his playing salary in endorsements this season, with Pepsi, AT&T, Frito-Lay, Beats by Dre, Campbell’s Chunky Soup, and 7-Eleven all signing on as new sponsors. On top of that, adidas, “one of his few sponsors prior to his rookie year,” decided to rip up its current contract with the Cowboys star and award him a brand new deal. Prescott recently had dinner with PepsiCo North America CEO Al Carey, who compared the quarterback to longtime PepsiCo partners Peyton Manning and Derek Jeter. On Sunday night, Prescott led his Cowboys to a marquee win over the Giants, 19-3. More high-profile primetime wins will only boost his marketability and brand value.

• After failing on a bid to buy the Houston Rockets back in 1993, Landry’s owner, CEO and billionaire Tilman Fertitta finally got what he wanted. According to ESPN.com, Fertitta has reached a deal with current team owner Les Alexander to buy the franchise for a record price of $2.2 billion. If the deal goes through, it would “eclipse the record” of $2 billion that Los Angeles Clippers Owner Steve Ballmer paid in 2014. The NBA Board of Governors will have to approve Fertitta as the next owner of the team before he officially takes control. The Houston-based billionaire has worked in sports before, as he was one of the original investors in the Texans. In 1993, Fertitta offered $81 million to buy the Rockets, but lost out to Alexander, who bought the team for $85 million. Just under 25 years later, Alexander is set to sell the team for over 27-times the price he bought it for…talk about a Return on Investment.

• Little Caesars Arena is finally open. According to the Detroit Free Press, the new home of the Detroit Red Wings and Pistons had its ribbon cut after architectural firm HOK managed to pull off a major “balancing act – creating a new mega-structure huge in its proportions that nonetheless contributes to the surrounding street life…” To build the arena and appropriately fit it into the surrounding community, the playing surface was placed about 40 feet below street level. In doing so, the profile of the arena is lower as to not “loom over its surroundings.” The deconstructed design puts all of the Red Wings’ offices, retail stores, and the box office outside the arena itself. HOK is being praised for its efforts to integrate the facility into the neighborhood in a non-dominating way. The use of varying types of brick and window treatments make the outside structure look like “a row of traditional urban buildings not unlike many others that line Woodward Avenue.” In economically challenged Detroit, a new arena to be shared by two of the city’s pro sports franchises is a welcome addition, providing economic impact as well as boosting community pride.

• The joint bid from the United States, Mexico, and Canada for the 2026 World Cup should win the hosting rights, unless a “crazy action” by President Donald Trump and his administration prevents it from doing so. According to SportsBusiness Journal, those are the paraphrased words of Relevant Sports Chair Charlie Stillitano, whose group runs the popular International Champions Cup. The joint North American bid still sits as a “firm favorite” to win over a last-minute bid submission from Morocco when a decision is announced next June. “The only thing that could possibly derail (the bid) is some crazy action on the part of our government, but I can't even imagine that,” said Stillitano. “It's ours to lose. I can't imagine we won't have the World Cup.” With an expanded field of 48 teams set to compete in the 2026 World Cup, the host of the tournament will be set to “bring in a lot of money.” With stadiums in Houston and Florida among the proposed sites to host World Cup matches, let’s hope that those traumatized communities will be able to use the ensuing years to rebuild from 2017’s terrible storms and widespread destruction.

• The Golden State Warriors may bring the Bay Area millions of dollars in positive economic impact, but that does not mean they are exempt from paying their bills. According to the East Bay Times, the reigning NBA champions “have not paid a cent” for their 2017 NBA Championship festivities in Oakland following their victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers. In total, the team owes up to $816,000. The Warriors are currently questioning “how the parade bill tripled in cost from an early estimate and wants to sort out the bill with the city.” Immediately after the parade, Warriors Vice President/Communications Raymond Ridder said that the team “planned to shell out” $4 million to cover all the costs, but that has not happened yet. Oakland officials are also asking the team to pay $244,000 for the cost of their 2015 NBA Championship parade. The city sent a $1 million bill to the team on July 19, with a due date of August 18, but ‘no money has changed hands.” While the city of Oakland owes the team an explanation, the Warriors have an obligation to crack open their well-stuffed vaults and pay for their fair share of the parade, if not more.

• The WNBA continues to rise, with 2017 attendance numbers coming as the league’s highest in years. According to SportsBusiness Journal, the average attendance marker of 7,713 fans is the league’s best since the 2011 season, up 0.8% overall from last year. While this number is positive for the league as a whole, individual teams reported mixed results – some posted double-digit growth while other experienced double digit drop-offs in attendance percentage. Leading the way in the WNBA was the L.A. Sparks, with an average of 11,350 fans per game at the Staples Center, “up a league-best 17.8% from last season and the team’s highest mark since 2002.” The other teams that posted double-digit growth were the Connecticut Sun, Minnesota Lynx – who played home games at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul amidst Target Center Renovations – and the Washington Mystics. Conversely, the Indiana Fever (-12.1%), Atlanta Dream (-20.7%), and Dallas Wings (-26.9%) all experience double-digit falloffs. Athlete personalities rule pro sports, and the WNBA’s next task should be doing more to promote the personal brands of its most marketable stars – like Candace Parker, Skylar Diggins-Smith, and Elena Delle Donne.

• The Miami Marlins have a new ownership group, and with that might come a significant cut to the team’s payroll. According to the Miami Herald, a potential investor who was “specifically briefed” by the Bruce Sherman/Derek Jeter ownership group noted that they spoke about drastically trimming the payroll, with or without slugger Giancarlo Stanton on the roster. Stanton is due between $25 million and $32 million for each of the next 10 seasons, which is a primary reason that the team’s payroll currently sits at $115 million. If Stanton were to remain with the Marlins, the ownership group would aim to cut the payroll to around $80-85 million, but potentially to as low as $55 million if he is traded. Whether those numbers have “changed since the investor was briefed is unclear, because those conversations happened before the Marlins surged back into wild card contention in recent weeks.” The team is on pace to lose a whopping $50 million this year – even with deeper-pocketed new owners, they may not be able to afford to keep Stanton.

• Following an increasingly popular trend, the NHL’s Los Angeles Kings have become the most recent professional sports franchise to transition to paperless tickets. According to the Los Angeles Times, the Kings are making this move for the upcoming 2017-2018 season, though paper tickets will still be available for fans at a $100 fee during the regular season and at a $40 fee during the playoffs. Kings Vice President/Communications and Broadcasting Mike Altieri noted that the franchise pushed for paperless tickets last season, but the team’s efforts were confounded by the fact that they produced commemorative paper tickets for the teams 50th anniversary year. Some season-ticket holders “renewed for this season with the paper option thinking it would be a special, non-generic ticket and were disappointed.” Altieri added that season-ticket holders get a “membership card with their seat account data and a team store discount.” For many sports fans, a trip to a high profile pro game is not a regular occurrence but a bucket list check box. It’s important to keep providing them with tangible, physical mementos of their experience.

• Nike switched up its retail strategy at this year’s U.S. Open in Flushing Meadows by electing not to occupy its usual spot at the Billie Jean King National Tennis Center. According to the Wall Street Journal, Nike instead chose to “sell tennis gear through its suite of smartphone apps and pop-up locations” around New York. Some of Nike’s tennis sneakers could be bought at pop-up stores in Manhattan and Queens, including a special edition collaboration between Roger Federer and Air Jordan. With digital retail channels becoming more popular, Nike is attempting to stay ahead of the curve and stick to its plan of selling more wares online. Nike for years has “held prime commercial real estate outside Arthur Ashe Stadium, which it used to sell T-shirts, zip-ups and other gear worn by star players” Roger Federer, Maria Sharapova, and Serena Williams, among others. Adidas had a store on the grounds this year, as did event sponsors Wilson and Polo Ralph Lauren. Best guess is that Nike rethinks their on-the-ground retail strategy and returns to the Billie Jean National Tennis Center grounds in 2018 or 2019.

• Facebook is making a new push into sports streaming with its recent bid to land the rights to Indian Premier League cricket. According to Recode, Facebook’s five-year, $600 million deal did not ultimately win the bid, but it still shows the social network’s willingness to “put up that kind of money” in an auction. This comes as a “bold declaration” that Facebook will write “real checks” to gets its hands on “must-see sports content.” Star India, a subsidiary of 21st Century Fox, “won the auction for the IPL rights,” paying about $1 billion for its 10-year contract. Facebook is trying to compete against traditional networks for streaming rights, along with companies like Amazon that are also vying to make a splash in the sports streaming marketplace. Amazon and Yahoo were reportedly interested in the IPL bid as well, though neither ultimately made a bid to land the rights. But watch all of these digital giants continue to bid.

• Moving to a new market could mean big things for Chicago Bulls guard Zach LaVine. According to ESPN.com, after having spent the last couple of seasons with the Minnesota Timberwolves, the move to Chicago “meant an overnight rise in intrigue from a handful of brands looking to sign him.” Despite currently recovering from an ACL tear, LaVine is largely looked at as a player with some of the most untapped potential across the league thanks to his athleticism. His three-year deal with Nike is set to expire at the end of the month. Companies reportedly interested in signing LaVine to a shoe endorsement deal include adidas as well as Chinese brands Li-Ning, Anta, and Peak. Nike is “expected to aggressively look to make it own initial offer in the coming weeks to retain” the budding star. From a company’s perspective, LaVine has all the qualities an endorsable player needs: explosive, entertaining, “and a willingness to wear a variety of attention-grabbing sneakers.” Another important quality: LaVine has no LaVar.

• In a move to address the “hidden epidemic” of addiction to gambling in the United Kingdom, the Labour Party is pushing for English soccer clubs to stop signing gambling companies as jersey sponsors. According to the London Guardian, the proposed policy is “understood to be the first of a series of proposals to curb the power of gambling firms…” Gambling companies have had an increasingly large presence on the front of English Premier League jerseys, with Bournemouth, Burnley, Crystal Palace, Everton, Newcastle United, Stoke City, Swansea City, Watford, and West Ham all wearing betting firms on the front of their jerseys. These nine clubs represent almost half of the 20 clubs that comprise the EPL, showing a drastic shift in the demographic of kit sponsors from what it used to be. Even though many of the betting firms are not from the United Kingdom, their names “are seen on TVs every weekend, during the segments of football that break up the adverts for British bookmakers.” The betting firm genie has been out of the bottle for a long time, and she continues to grow. Don’t look for her to jump back in unless some major match-setting scandal besets the league.

• Tech Top Five

1) The NFL, Wilson Sporting Goods, and Zebra Technologies have partnered on a project for the 2017 NFL season that will bring a new level of data to NFL teams and fans. Every NFL football this season will have a chip implanted into it that will relay data about the ball’s location, speed, and rotation metrics. The technology made its debut in the 2016 Pro Bowl and was also used in kicking balls on Thursday Night games during the 2016 NFL season. Jill Stelfox, Zebra Technologies General Manager of Locations services, had to this to say about the use of data in football: “It’s been a couple of years of an iterative process. How can we focus on the plays when it’s both fun and important? I think we’re in that early phase of looking at that for the ball. I do think data will get to fans soon, which will be fun.” Through these data points and using the chips in NFL games, fans will have a new feature to dig into while viewing. In the statistics-driven fandom of sports today, the NFL is doing all it can to quench the proverbial thirst of fans for more specific and interesting data.

2) According to SportTechie.com. Garmin has added a new feature to its line of smartwatches that will help intense trainers conveniently make purchases. The Vivoactive 3, a new model of Garmin smartwatches, has included contactless payments into its new features. As a result, watch wearers can purchase items such as food and equipment straight from their watches. Dan Bartel, Garmin Vice President of Worldwide Sales, had this to say: “Anyone who is out and about being active can relate to the struggle of where to stash a credit card or cash, and has had to forgo a post-workout snack or coffee as a result. We’re solving that dilemma with Garmin Pay, an exciting feature on the new Vívoactive 3. Use it pretty much wherever contactless payments are accepted, and give yourself one less thing to remember when you’re leaving the house.” With new features like this, Garmin is looking to get an edge over competitors like the Apple Watch. While Garmin doesn’t have connectivity between products like Apple does between its watches and smartphones, Garmin proves its ability to stay ahead of the curve in this competitive wearables market. 3) Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback Alex Smith used a new type of helmet in the NFL season opener last Thursday night. Smith wore Vicis Zero1 helmet, which ranked first out of 33 helmets tested by the NFL and NFL Players’ Association this past year. According to CNBC, after testing the helmet in both training camp and the preseason, Smith was so impressed he not only decided to wear the helmet, he also became an initial investor in the Vicis. When asked about what benefits he sees coming from the new and improved line of helmets, Smith said, “Obviously, I’ve had a little history with head stuff, and for the first time, there seemed to be new technology in the helmet. For me, it was just finally this big science push. You actually had real scientists developing this and thinking about it.” If Vicis is successful in not only convincing NFL players to use their new helmets, but actually stopping concussions, the future of the NFL could be changed. The fear of sustaining concussions and CTE through football is very real, and youth football player numbers have decreased as a result. With a more proven means of preventing head injuries, the NFL could ensure that their sport survives in the coming years. 4) Major League Baseball fans are now able to watch the Boston Red Sox like never before. Intel and NESN have partnered on a project to start a four-game pilot of broadcasting Red Sox games in Virtual Reality. In June, Intel began broadcasting a game in VR every Tuesday, but now they have an agreement with a specific team. The games will be available to NESN subscribers on the NESNGo VR App. From NESN.com: “Choose your preferred camera angle, or sit back and watch a “director’s cut” of all the VR cameras, all while seeing a 180-degree camera perspective. Look all around and soak up the Red Sox and Fenway Park. Look further beyond, right or left, and you’ll see real-time team line-ups and statistics. Look up and you’ll see an expanded box score. Look down and you can select your desired camera angle.” If this is any indication, MLB could be moving toward VR sooner rather than later. MLB fans will soon have packages available to watch their favorite team from their couch as if they’re in the stadium. With more accessibility to the VR headsets, VR set-ups could become a common household appliance. 5) The Boston Red Sox were embroiled in a cheating scandal this week as they were caught stealing signs from the New York Yankees during a game. The New York Times chronicled the controversy specifically: “The Yankees, who had long been suspicious of the Red Sox’ stealing catchers’ signs in Fenway Park, contended the video showed a member of the Red Sox training staff looking at his Apple Watch in the dugout. The trainer then relayed a message to other players in the dugout, who, in turn, would signal teammates on the field about the type of pitch that was about to be thrown, according to the people familiar with the case.” All MLB teams look to technology to give themselves an advantage. However, sometimes teams can take that initiative too far. In the case of the Red Sox, they used a member of their training staff to relay signs to players on the team. This was a clear violation of MLB rules, but it brings up an interesting discussion about what role technology will play for teams during games. Should teams be able to use Apple Watches? Should teams even have access to any video during games? Expect these questions to be discussed at length this offseason.

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annarosenblumpalmer · 7 years

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JEW-ISH. ON EATING AS A CULINARY JEW

In a town that had more jews than gentiles levels of Judaism were carefully parsed. Would you skip school only for high holy days or for all holidays? Do you go to Sunday school or Hebrew school? Would your Bat Mitvah be more about the torah or the hora?

I termed myself a culinary jew. Very little temple, missed school as a nod to religion not to practice religion. But I was all in on the eating. There were the delicious things like the latkas and matzoh ball soup. Then there were the questionable things like gefilte fish. There is no second example needed. That fish (or ground pressed combo of fish in pickle jelly) really can hold its own. I ate them all. On that one horrible day when we couldn’t eat (like, the holiest day of the year) all I thought about were the holes in the bagels. Where they went. Why we couldn’t have them the way dunkin’ donuts let us have the donut holes. I was a decade before Einsteins. Now bagels are in airports everywhere.

Speaking of bagels when you are Jewish bagels have no calories. It is incredible. It is also incredibly not true. What was true was the existence of a Jewish Bakery directly on my walk home from the T that I rode from highschool. It had hallah or challah or challa ( its the food version of the Channukah problem) for shabbat. It had humentaschen (it never ends with the spelling confusion) for Purim. It had loaves of rye with perfectly chewy crusts and pillow soft insides for every other day of the year. “I am like rye bread.” I used to tell myself as I walked to my house from they bakery which was halfway home from the school train. “Not all people like me but the ones that do are passionate about me. Also I have a hard outside and soft inside.” It was a meta experience untwisting the red wire twist tie and reaching in to grab a slice to eat as I passed by gardens. It was weird to eat myself but delicious too.

ON THE FRESHMAN FIFTY

This is probably vegan

My freshman year college roommate was Anna Moore Lappe, the daughter of Frances, who wrote Diet for A Small Planet. This was the very first time I experienced eating as a political act. I had always though vegetarianism was virtuous in a “somehow it is our moral imperative not to walk around with an upper butt” sort of way but I didn’t know I could save the planet by eating kale. This was years before kale had a PR machine. I was shocked. But not changed. So the full result of my food education at the hands of the other Anna was a new type of guilt as I loaded my plate at the “Ratty.” Killing myself and my earth with each bite of burger and fries.

Although we have all heard of the freshman 15 no one told me about the four year 50. The rate at which I gained weight was alarming. The only break in my progress towards fat was the summer of my freshman year when I went to excavate on an archaeological dig in Israel. Latkes! I thought. Brisket! I imagined. Hummus? I compromised. But no. In the Kibbutz dining hall there seemed only to be tomatoes and cucumbers. I know this couldn’t have been true. But it seemed that way. Cucumbers are a hard no. Those of you who feel neutral about cucumbers (most of the world I have learned) can’t understand. “They are like water.” You argue with arched eyebrows. “No, they are like…I don’t know what they are like because their proximity to innocuous things like lettuce make me compost my whole plate (this of course was before composting but I couldn’t even get myself to type “throw away” because, you know, I am a composting queen). So no cucumbers. And no eggplant. How can something be both impossible to chew and slimy? It seems at odds with itself. And I am at odds with it. So I settled on tomatoes. They also had disgusting slimy centers but I found the outsides with a little salt were OK. So low fat cottage cheese and tomatoes were my meals. After a while I stopped thinking about food because I was so hungry I couldn’t think about anything at all. But between the digging and the walk to the site and the walk from the tent to the “there is no dining in here hall” I dropped 15 pounds.

When I returned to college Sophomore year I walked the streets of Providence at a quick clip never losing my breath. I navigated from my new dorm to the athletic center alone, limbs still brown from the Israeli sun planning to exercise. Behind me I heard voices. “That looks like Anna, but it can’t be, she is way too thin.” That was enough to bring me back to my reality. There would be no gym. My arms, , muscled from excavation would return to their doughy state (mmm rye bread) and my weight would continue to climb to the point that I lied about my weight on my drivers license.

ON THE ATKINS CULT

When I left college I was ready to drop some weight. Like most people who are overweight I ALREADY understood nutrition, portion size and the equation: “calories in -calories out better equal a negative number or you will be an even fatter ass.” None of that “simple” stuff worked for me. According to Slate magazine 97% of dieters gain back all the weight they loss (and then some for me). So I would not diet. Fuck the D word. I would never speak of it again. Instead I would change my eating habits for life.

So I melted cheese on a plate and ate steak with butter sauce and had no fruits at all. I bought little strips from the drug store to measure my urine and make sure I stayed in the magical state of “ketosis.” The fact that those strips existed because ketosis is pathological in diabetes and needs to be avoided was not important to me. I was losing weight and eating as much brie as I wanted.

Until I realized I couldn’t chew anything on this fucking diet. Or whatever word can replace diet.

There was no crunch. OK. Almonds are crunchy. I crunched my way through so many days of 10 almonds a day that I think the almond growers owe me money for the crown I had to buy last year. This was before I knew about the gallon of water that it takes to grow an almond and had to give them up. My teeth thank me. Pecans are good too. Though not as crack-y. Take that as you will.

In addition to losing 30 lbs I gained an endless exhausting topic of conversation. Conversation is a kind way to put it because it was really a ceaseless monologue. I exhaust myself just thinking about it. Its possible some of my weight loss was from calories burned moving my mouth talking about a diet free of carbohydrates.

ON EATING WHEN YOU OWN A RESTAURANT

Join your staff for staff meal. This is a must. You are part of the team. The fact that staff meal was often hotel pans of mystery material covered in melted cheese was secondary. Solidarity wins everytime.

If you have close friends in the restaurant send them free food. Then say yes when they ask you to join them. Since the food is free it is not stealing when you have a taste. Plus, solidarity.

Have your manager meal. Take a booth in the back. Order the hearts of palm and tomato salad. Enjoy it. Maybe add on some fries. The staff can then pop by the back and pop in some fries before heading to wash their hands. It is a mitvah really. Solidarity.

ON EATING IN VERMONT

Just add wildflowers.

I think back to how much more wonderful my life would have been if I had embraced veganism in 1991.I would have owned a vegan restaurant or no restaurant at all I would be able to unironically wear Tivas as I scrambled up a mountain with my babies slung to my back. In reality slings baffled me. The Baby was twisted. Or the Baby was about the fall out. Or I pinned my right arm into submission. I was brought to tears by the sling which seemed an important symbol of Vermont motherhood. Steve gently replaced the sling with the Baby Bjorn. This thing had plastic in it. It was like formula instead of breast milk. But it kept the baby safe and my hands free so I tried not to judge myself which was possible except when I went to the farmer’s market.

Ah, the Vermont farmers market. It is the best and the worst. On the upside there are whole cows and micro greens from one acre urban farms. There are trees to hug and pottery to buy and wildflowers to lie carefully across your woven basket. There are so many things to eat that aren’t vegetables. When people started farming empanadas I don’t know but I am not complaining. That said the farmers market is the Vermont version of the night club. Instead of bandage dresses and stilletos there are boyfriend jeans and flip flops. There is patagonia and burton hoodies.

Most of all there is the glow of fitness. Thats the way to feed a Vermonter. Keep it as green as the green mountain state.

+ nothing.

ON FEEDING KIDS

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When Oliver was very young he had a fiend who called Bananas “nana.” She loved them almost as much as her small stuffed toy also, efficiently, called Nana. Her mother used to portion out her bananas, each cut neatly in half making it seem much more appealing to me but not my son who refused the fruit as he did everything that was more than a simple carb. When we sat together sipping coffee (mine mostly on my shirt) this mother was the one I measured myself against. She was the mom with healthy snacks and a laundry room so well organized that any random stranger could find band aids and stain sticks. When she prepared dinner for the children of the neighborhood she served local pizza which see snipped neatly with kitchen shears (?!) into perfect sized portions. The pizza was not the only thing on the plate. There were fruits and veggies and foods in colors other than cardboard.

The melamine plates that served up this kid friendly bounty were BPA free and funny.

After our first group lunch I went out and bought these plates for our house. When her family came to visit I carefully selected the “top banana” for her daughter. I’m not sure if she noticed. Over time my plates took on a horrible brownish black color. I tried to wash it off in the super hot dishwasher but it turned out that the sanitize setting on the dishwasher was the problem. She must have handwashed her kid plates to keep them looking good. This, like so many things, felt beyond my capabilities.

In those early years I was the fattest mom and my kid was the pickiest eater. They felt like opposite failings of the same coin. Today Leo eats everything but mostly berries and salmon and grilled chicken. He is a walking ten year old superfood billboard. I take no credit for this and neither does Steve, who with his midwestern plate featuring M E A T, P O T A T O E S , and, what is that? over there? a veggie? also shrugs his shoulders at Leo’s laudable eating. I tell myself that if I take no credit for Leo’s colorful fiber filled meals I can take no blame for Oliver’s box of crackers. But unless I am at my best parenting doesn’t work that way…and neither does my relationship with food. I accept the blame with ease and eschew the credit.

It is easier to eat potato chips off of the sweet pea plate than peas.

ON THE FOOD REVOLUTION

In the past year I have gone on and off of a low carb diet, I have followed the Always Hungry meal plan (aptly named), I have done 7 day juice fasts, and I have gone semi vegan with the TB12 diet.

Sometimes I just want some fucking bread. Maybe I should stick to the bagels. They have zero calories after all.

What about you? Anything revolutionizing your eating?

Eating for the Ages. More years = more pounds JEW-ISH. ON EATING AS A CULINARY JEW In a town that had more jews than gentiles levels of Judaism were carefully parsed.

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