#also it's particularly funny just imagining the Senate foisting the Brotherhood on the Jedi because they think they're Force Sensitives

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Funniest things I can imagine happening in a theoretical Assassin's Creed/Star Wars crossover (namely the protagonists and a few key supporting characters from the AC games show up in the Clone Wars era):

All the Grandmasters/Mentors sitting around and debating the theological differences between the Jedi Code and the Assassin's Creed. Yoda and Ezio keep making lewd jokes, and Mace and Achilles instantly bond over having to put up with them.

The first time a Jedi performs a Mind Trick in front of an Assassin, there's a knife fight in the streets that results in at least 3 stab wound and 1 near case of delimbification until the Clones are able to calm everyone down. Afterwards the Jedi make an effort to not perform Mind Tricks in front of the Assassins.

This is nothing, however, to how absolutely ballistic every single Assassin, even even-tempered ones like Ah Tabai, get when they learn about the inhibitor chips. Within hours, the Kenways, including Adéwalé, have hijacked at least ten Star Destroyers and are organising mass brain surgeries the likes of which no-one has ever seen before.

Altaïr Ibn La'Ahad and Malik Al-Sayf take one look at Anakin Skywalker and immediately realise that he's basically exactly like Altaïr at the beginning of AC1 and move immediately to stop this train wreck.

To that end, Anakin is forced to go on missions with Ratonhnhaké:ton, despite the fact that they are just enough alike to not like one another, although as Altaïr and Obi-Wan planned they do end up bonding over their extremely similar early lives and Connor helps Anakin learn his own compromise.

A key part of their bonding, however, comes when the Assassins convince the Jedi to let them dismantle the Hutts and replace them, given its not the first criminal empire they've supplanted. The liberation of Tattooine is also when they actually come to blows, though, because Anakin is not shy about his opinions of the Tuskens and Ratonhnhaké:ton is... familiar with the demonisation of an indigenous population, and does not take kindly to it.

Kassandra has absolutely no idea why she's here, as far as she's concerned both the Jedi and the Assassins are a band of crazies, she's not even like Bayek (who's going through some shit because he doesn't know how to explain to every Assassin born pre-Altaïr that he cut his finger off by accident), so naturally the first chance she gets she books it off Coruscant, possibly with Eivor in tow, to become a bounty hunter, which is about as close as this place gets to a misthios. Naturally, because the universe is determined that neither Kassandra nor Eivor can have a boring life, Eivor gets headhunted by Hondo Ohnaka and Kassandra falls in with Asajj Ventress, and yes you can read that last one any way you like.

Pretty much all the Assassins born before it are absolutely fascinated by the concept of democracy. Then they attend one (1) Senate meeting, and their opinion on the concept dims a bit. Padmé Amidala, then, can be praised for nearly singlehandedly reinvigorating several Assassins opinion on democracy in one conversation.

That being said, there are only a few senators that most Assassins can stand, and some of the more hot-blooded Assassins may be planning coup d'etats on several planets and keeping very quiet about it when the Jedi are around. For obvious reasons, they all get along very well with Cham Syndulla, and Evie Frye is halfway through convincing the Mentors to induct his daughter Hera as the first new member of the Brotherhood in this galaxy.

Without the Dark Side blocking their Eagle Vision, or the decades of experience with his friendly persona, most of the Assassins pretty quickly figure out that Palpatine is at the least involved in the conspiracy behind the Clone Wars (to be fair, all of them are pretty experienced with finding out who's involved in grand conspiracies). The issue then becomes proving it. Their first plan involves walking up to Palpatine in the halls of the Senate and saying 'Oy, Sith Lord, yes or no'. This predictably fails, and Jacob Frye is taken off the planning team for this case.

#assassin's creed #star wars #if this is at all comprehensible I am sorry #if it is not please give me permission to rant about Assassin's Creed #this is all an offshoot of the idea I once had to compare the philosophies of the Jedi and the Assassins #which basically turned into a subtweet about one particular fic I read where the Sith were descended from the Assassins #and I was like 'Every single time the Sith have taken over the galaxy since Revan they've been overtly fashy #and whatever you can say about the Assassins fashy is the last thing they could ever be' #also it's particularly funny just imagining the Senate foisting the Brotherhood on the Jedi because they think they're Force Sensitives #(which... some of them may be depending on how you interpret the Gray in relation to the Force) #and then the Jedi introduce one of the Mentors with Eagle Vision to Palpatine and he's just... the brightest red they've ever seen