#also he was a weeb and i was the artsy kid

[vamistlezellas]

Weeb/Otaku/Cosplayer/Gamer/etc but I dress like the picture below. As cool as the shirt is above, I wouldn’t want a guy* on my arm dressed like that. Sorry. It’s a bit much for me.

Edit: no idea what the bottom shirt says. Point I’m trying to make is I like that it’s still nerdy but subtle and not over the top. 

The top picture is just cringe to me. Give me a shirt that tells me that my mouse pad is in the shape of boobs and that I have a body pillow with a half naked anime girl on it. Give me a shirt that says I’ll probably say “actually.” Give me a shirt that says I play video games all the time and probably has never had a girlfriend.

Give me a shirt that says I will probably ignore you if you’re my girlfriend because I’m too lost in my video games, card games, D&D, etc. and will neglect you like all the other nerd boys you dated in the past. (Hi trigger.)

I know it’s judgemental and harsh but that’s honestly what I think when I see stuff like that. 

Yeah I think the shirt is cool and the person looks really cool. But I don’t know. I like guys that dress normal. I like nerdy touches. 

I don’t like unwanted attention. If I’m out with a guy and he’s wearing something like that, it’s unwanted attention to me and I’m sorry I don’t like it. As one who has been told that all of her exes are ugly and that she has no taste in men, as one who has been made fun of because her exes were fat and so they judge me and think that’s all I can pull in, yeah I’m kind of self-conscious about what my guy looks like. Especially if I’m beside him. Because I want to be power couple. I want someone to look at both of us and think we’re both equally hot. Not look at my guy and think “what a fucking nerd.” Or worse.

Yes I am insecure. My past experiences have made me self-conscious and insecure. I’m open about that. Any guy the dates me has to be patient and realize that. Work with that.

I dress a certain way when I want attention on me on purpose. Then I’m flashy and showy. Any other time, I’m normal. And I don’t think normal is bad. When I dress sexy when I’m out with a guy, I want people to look at me and then look at him and think “damn how did he get that?” I do that sometimes because I enjoy being the trophy. 

But I feel like the same thing happens vice versa, when a guy is wearing that shirt above, they’re not thinking wow how did I get that guy or What does that guy see in me. blah blah 

yeah I know I shouldn’t care about what people think but there’s parts of me that do. I’m not a robot. I’m not inhuman. I have feelings. Oh well. kudos to you for being cold and callous and uncaring and indifferent and blah blah blah. I’m not like everybody.

You can be weird which I am and not be over the top about it. I used to dress like that when I’m was younger. Maybe I’m more relaxed? I’m only flashy in certain situations, atmospheres and environments.

If you haven’t guessed it, this post reeks of *Jamie  / vamistlezellas / vamistle who dresses like this. Who dresses like the shirt above. He turned out to be a arrogant, elitist, gatekeeping nerd. Who would make you feel inferior for not being on his nerdy level and doing the nerd things that he does. Like he did me. 

Dude is going on 39/40 and wants the dress like that too picture. I don’t think I would let my husband out of the house with a shirt like that unless we were purposely going to a convention or some type of game night or situation for it. You’re actually going out doing normal every day stuff dressed like that with our kid?

Yes I want freedom of expression when it comes to my kids and my family when I eventually do have them. But I also know that kids will tease and bully if the creative kid is out there wearing a tutu and rainbow colors. That’s going to mess up the kids self-esteem. I was that artsy kid. That creative kid. I have my battle scars. Not every community is accepting. Especially your own racially when you’re “different.” You get labeled other races or you’re trying to be some other race or they will go as far to say you even hate yourself because you’re open to dating other races. Because you don’t dressed and act like everyone else. So many things. 

He told me one time that he got stood up on a date at the mall and waited four hours. I was so tempted and wanted to ask him what was he wearing. Cause I’m willing to bet $5 million dollars he came out looking like a Weeb.

I want someone that’s hot. Anyone I date I already think they are attractive. I’m not thinking you’re hot in a shirt like that. Maybe temperature wise because you might be sweating but that’s really about it. I’m not eye fucking you in that shirt. I’m not wanting to peel off your clothes in that shirt. You’re not activating the automatic drip in that shirt. I don’t think any other girl is looking at you in that shirt and thinking you’re hot. Just my opinion. I don’t speak for all women.

I love weebs. I date weebs. I am one. Hell I even cosplay and go to conventions. I do so much nerd shit. But I’m not interested in dating the over-the-top weeb. Sorry. Tone it down. I’m feeling embarrassed.

For the sensitives, no I don’t speak for all women. This post is just my opinion. there is a person out there for everyone and I’m sure there’s some girl that will swoon over  that type of style. After all I like it. I think it’s cool. But I don’t see fashion like that and think I want to date that guy. I don’t see fashion like that and think “wow that guy looks good.”

[sweetcloverheart]

Unpopular Opinion Time (Featuring Miraculous Ladybug....again)

I wish the ML writers had kept the concept of Alix, Chloe, and Sabrina being a mean girl trio in the show. It would have made their characters (and subsequent arcs) so much more interesting that what canon gave us - especially Alix, consider canon “attempts” to make her important via Bunnix.

I mean, imagine with me for a second (and apologies to fellow weebs, cause I’m going to be borrowing some elements from a manga I read so time ago who’s name I can remember) - The three are basically the queen bees of the school, each controlling a different clique/student group through their statuses; Chloe rules the social circles with her wealth and connections to the fashion world, Sabrina keeps the nerds in check by having the best grades (only bested by Max, who back then was unsocial enough that it didn’t really effect things) and makes full use of her friendship with Chloe for clout, and Alix has all the jocks in a stranglehold because she’s the best at sports while also having the artsy kids ears since her dad works at the Louve. The three stand on top of the school, constantly looking down on everyone while ruthlessly bullying anyone trying to unseat or stand up to them (or just because) into the ground, their favorite target of recent being Marinette after she tries to call out Chloe for her awful behavior and near shows her up during a class project the year before.

The show goes as usual - Adrien transfers to Francoise Dupont, the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous are given to Marinette and Adrien, Akumas happen (some directly because of Chloe, Sabrina, Alix, or all three), Hawkmoth is a jerk and a bad dad, Ladybug and Chat save the day while civilian selves struggle with being teenagers. After becoming a superhero, Marinette slowly gains confidence in herself that she normally didn’t have, and starts standing up to the trio more and more, gaining the support of the class. Adrien (who’s getting actual character depth here), gains friends and social skills as he starts losing his childhood friend blinders and sees more and more of Chloe’s negative behavior and how the students around them seem more frightened than admiring of her.

The first one to fall is Alix when “Timebreaker” happens, but a little different - Marinette resisting the trio’s reign encourages other students to start following her lead, shaking the foundation of the three’s hold over the school. Alix, through Chloe and Sabrina’s bullying “encouragement”, accepts a challenge from Kim to a race after an argument as a way of reestablishing dominance and putting everyone (particularly Marinette) back in their place. If Alix wins, Kim must give her his medal from the Country Athletics Tournament and promise to never challenge her again, and if she loses, she’ll give up her prized skates and her title as the school’s top athlete. Alix has her birthday lunch with her dad beforehand and receives her watch, heads to the race, and asks Chloe to hold onto it for her. The race is happening, and Alix is...surprisingly starts having a good time. Maybe it’s the mood or the fact that Kim’s a more active challenger compared to the ones she’s beaten down before, but she’s having a blast racing against him. She’s also, unfortunately, clearly losing (not that she’s cares with how much fun she’s having). Chloe, not liking this, oh so “subtly” throws Alix’s watch in front of Kim when they’re nearing the finish-line and causes him to trip, allowing Alix to win but destroying the watch. Naturally, she gets upset, and Chloe blames Ayla for it, saying she “pushed” her and caused her to drop the watch. Believing her lies, Alix gets Akumatized and attacks everyone. After Ladybug and Chat save the day, Alix, feeling bad for getting akumatized and, despite her mean girl status, being fair enough to understand Kim would have won if not for tripping on her watch, gives him the victory, which upsets Chloe. The two argue over this and Chloe storms off, and Alix is going to just leave as well with her busted watch and pride until Marinette stops her. She’s prepared for mockery (it would not be out of place or undeserved), but instead is given “dumb Mari” offering to help her get the watch repaired, knowing a shop that specializes in antiques like it. When asked why Marinette just tells her that the watch seems important and despite their relationship, she’s not going to ignore Alix when she clearly looks like she needs the help. Needless to say, she’s both touched and surprised the girl she’s been tormenting the past school year is actually willing to go out on a limb for her like this, especially since she’s been nothing but catty to her. Ayla joins along to show video evidence that yes, Chloe was the one to drop the watch, and on purpose. This causes another fight at school the next day and Alix is “kicked” from the trio (though she frankly did leave on her own) since Chloe doesn’t need someone who doesn’t want to play ball for her anymore. Eventually, after some soul-searching and time alone, Alix becomes part of the gang. She and Kim develop a friendly rivalry, and discovers that Nathan likes the same comicbook artists she does. Have her and Marinette hang out and the latter notice that hey, Alix’s watch kind of looks a lot like an illustration in one of the books Master Fu showed her detailing the other miraculous, and have it be learned that one of her ancestors might have known the last user of the Bunny Miraculous and made the watch based of the item in memory, and had some other info that ties into past users. Have her talk about Chloe and Sabrina, how she became their friend (maybe they all bonded over absent parent figures, maybe they all found out they shared a hobby, maybe they all just happened to like eachother and hit it off), hint at how Chloe, mean as she can be, wasn’t that bad back then, was actually a decent friend to her but gradually got worse over time. Have “Chat Blanche” happen and Marinette gives her the Bunny Miraculous because Alix has shown to have grown out of her bullying ways and become a better person, and will eventually make a great hero too (Also, Bunny Miraculous’s powers are very much nerfed here. Adult!Alix can time travel pretty far, but kid Alix can only go back a single day)

Sabrina goes next. After Alix leaves, Chloe gets controlling and clingy with her. She starts ordering her around more, demanding she spend time with her, help her sabotage “enemies”, do her homework for her, etc. It’s exhausting and stressful for Sabrina, but Chloe is her friend - the one who protected her from bullies and treats her nicely, who invites her to fancy parties and gives her the latest clothes and accessories (well, they’re her handmedowns, but it’s the thought that counts right?), who needs her now more than ever since that traitor Alix started hanging out with that nerd Marinette. Yeah, her own grades are starting to slip thanks to the extra workload and she’s having trouble sleeping since Chloe keeps calling her constantly, but it’s all for the greater good, right? And it’s a whole lot better than when she starts ignoring her to fangirl over that stupid spotted superheroine. But as more and more time passes and Chloe constant demands her obedience and attention continuously ramp up until it all gets too much and guess who appears with an akuma ready and waiting. After her defeat, Sabrina actually takes a look at her and Chloe’s relationship and realizes just how awful Chloe’s become and what a far cry from the girl who befriended her she is, how friends don’t treat others like servants or constantly call them in the middle of the night for validation or to scream at them for not picking up after 1 minute. Have her get fed up and demand Chloe start treating her better or she’s gone. Have Chloe laugh and ask where she’s going to go, who’s exactly going to be friends with a worthless nerd like her, will take her to all the trendsetting parties and give her new clothes to show off. Sabrina can’t leave her, and won’t, because she needs her. Then have Sabrina leave anyway to find out. Maybe have her start trying to find hobbies outside the stuff Chloe had them do together, maybe have her start hanging around some of the kids from the neighboring class (i just think Aurore being included is neat), have her start making friends, be happy. Maybe give her a miraculous too, as a treat (and if it does end up the dog miraculous, please let’s not call her Miss Hound. Please.)

And the last standing is Chloe, queen bee on a lonely throne. Now in my perfect universe, Chloe would, thanks to her friends abandoning her and an akumatization gone wrong, realize the error of her ways, and start trying to be a better person enough to have earned being the Bee Miraculous holder - but I’m assuming Thomas has tenure or whatever, so if we do have to go the villain!Chloe route, we’re doing it the fun way - have Lila return and then both her and Chloe become models with Adrien (or, for the sake of Marinette rivalry, have Chloe become Adrien’s exclusive designer/tailor/whatever), and actually put some validity in their so called “mean girl friendship” by having them spend time together and being the absolute worst! I want to see them scheming together. I want to see them combine Lila’s lies and Chloe’s status to actually put Marinette through the wringer a couple of times and make the class miserable. I want to see Lila teach and then watch Chloe have someone akumatized on purpose - heck, I want to see Chloe get Akumatized on purpose. I want “Miracle Queen” to end with Chloe making off with the Bee and joining up with Hawkmoth. I want Hawkmoth giving the now repaired Peacock to Lila (or, for the extra fun and if you’re a big fan of peacock!Felix have her steal the Fox from Ayla and legitimately become Volpina) and having them become his enforcers and directly fight against Ladybug and Chat alongside the Akuma. Make the fights harder with real stakes because unlike with Hawky, our heroes know exactly who’re behind the masks in this case.

I...just want something like this

#Miraculous Ladybug #Unpopular Opinion Time #Clover Rants Miraculously

[cool-ghoul]

So, the Apartment Story...

During my peak Homestuck phase (right around Cascade if fellow survivors wanna clock it), I had a full stack of Matesprit/Moirail/Auspicitice/Kismesis.

If you’re not a homestuck, that’s ♥ (romantic love), ◆ (companionate love) ♣ (harmonious love), and ♠ (rivalry/hate-love).

4 of us were roommates, me, ♠ (normcore), ◆(sciencebro) and ♣(artsis). My Girlfriend at the time, ♥ (dorkhunter), was there regularly.

While I’m pretty sure I acknowledged the fact that we all had a full stack to ◆ and ♣, who were both homestucks and basically married. We were like like “haha that’s funny”, but we weren’t rabid enough fans to try and leverage it to parties that were not onboard with the Chumtrain, like ♠. ♥  thought it was extremely cute.

This wasn’t arranged pre-Homestuck, but we all knew each other at least for a year before the Homestuck brainrot really kicked in. ♠ I’d known since I was 10. So, it was to have both a garage and carless access to the college we all attended, not Kickass Fandom House or to fill some dumb grid from a shitty webcomic. We just needed 4 people to make rent in the city.

But this was also pre-Dashcon so we were all a little more cavalier on Tumblr about organizing fan communities and meetups openly, and we were still young, dumb college kids and 4/5 of us were incredibly cringe. So, we hung out with our cringe friends at our cringe house. It was harmonious for a time, even though we were all often individually miserable for other reasons.

As such, the rest of us were often on our bullshit about Tumblr and Weeb things, and since we lived there most of the time. We interacted little with ♠, who worked all the damn time. Without him to temper our enthusiasm, it became a weeb house within months.

♠ was a much more conventional Geek/Pop Punk Bro desperately trying to be normcore. ♠ worked long hours on top of school and a band, so he often came home angry because his boss was a Hustle Monster who regularly loaded him for bear when he needed to fucking study or rehearse. That would make anyone a little disagreeable, and coming home us cringe dorks rankled him something nasty. It was a problem the entire time and ultimately, that was my fault for talking him into trying to make it work with us. Sorry ♠.

On a funnier note, ♥ actually held me down in the middle of a some lovin’ and whispered in my ear “homestuck updated” (a lie), and refused to let me get up for like a full minute until I loved my way out of it.

I had never seen that woman exercise that kind of upper arm strength, and it remains the funniest fucking thing anyone has ever done to me in the sack. I have never felt so simultaneously loved and owned in my entire life.

So, yeah, college was pretty weird.

#forbidden lore #note I use ''cringe'' as a completely neutral term here

[beldaroot]

Now that Halloween is coming up, who should the Losers cosplay as?

aaaah i'm actually not one to dress up for halloween, but i do love thinking about my favorite characters' halloween costumes <3

richie: i've said it a thousand times, but werewolf richie will always be my fave! i also love han solo richie; he would beg for eddie to be his leia or luke haha! richie also would be the perfect candidate to dress in a punny halloween costume like cereal killer :)

eddie: i've also said it a thousand times, but vampire eddie is another fave! i adore eddie being spiderman or luke skywalker too! and since he had such an obsession with cowboys as a kid, cowboy eddie is another costume i would love to see him in!

mike: ok, so in my head, mike is the biggest weeb of all, so i think he would definitely dress up as an anime character! i'm thinking someone like naruto, because he's also sunshine, or someone cool like gojo! if you ever seen @wisdm8 on tiktok, i totally envision mike to be like him: adding a stylish spin to a regular cosplay!

bill: he would probably do something super artsy and pretentious like dressing up as andy warhol and carrying a campbell's soup can around or being bob ross like lexi was in euphoria haha! he's kind of a wild card though, like he could have a very meta and "deep" costume like dressing in all black and saying he's "darkness" or a black hole lol, or he could be completely stupid and dress up like a minion. it's really a mystery!

stan: he's like me and goes for very basic low-effort outfits. he doesn't buy anything new and uses stuff he has on hand to make his costume. i can see him dressing up as a "bird watcher" which would just be his regular daily outfit lol or putting a sheet over his head to be a ghost. but i think once he gets together with patty, he'd totally be up for doing couple costumes with her!

ben: he also keeps it simple imo. i can see him being a cowboy like eddie. ben's super creative and very hands on so i think he would build his costume if possible, like using cardboard to make a lil horse he carries around lol. or since his canon fear was a mummy, making real paper mache to make the costume instead of plain toilet paper!

bev: omg bev would loooove halloween and dressing up! like ben, she's hands on and it's canon that she's a designer, so i definitely think she makes her own outfit. i love the idea of her being a witch, i know she would add a cool spin to her costume to make it unique. but i mostly love the thought of her having a costume that transcends gender stereotypes, like being a knight or a pirate! she would look amazing in those especially if she added her creative designs to them!

finally, i do see them doing group outfits as well like maybe dressing up as marvel/dc superheroes or the scooby doo gang! i think halloween would be their favorite holiday because they can pretend to be something they're not so they're free to have fun and be as carefree as they please :')

#the losers #the losers club #it #thank you for sending this in jess it was so fun to think about!! #once mike convinces them to all to watch anime - they definitely dress up as the characters of that anime... #imagine them as the phantom troupe!!! :D

[baneismydragon]

Draw me Like one of your French Girls... Part 1

This fic is dedicated to @yunyin who was a big part of bringing it about in the first place ^_^  (Warning some spoilers for ML Season 2- (Just the stuff we knew during the hiatus nothing important from the new episodes) 

“Listen furball, I am ten times as sexy as you are. That is just a fact. People would pay to see pictures of me.”

“People DO pay to see pictures of me,” Chat shot back.

“What?”

“Never mind,” he grumbled, “the point is that I am obviously the sexier of the two of us.”

“Guys, I know this is a slow patrol night but you are giving me a headache,” Rena Rougue sighed, dropping down onto the platform and sprawling onto her stomach against the cool metal of the tower.

“Wait,” Chat said with a terrifying grin, “Rena. My dear, darling, friend.”

“Oh this can’t end well.”

“You are a fox of impeccable taste are you not?”

“Maybe.”

“And you are an excellent judge of both male and female attractiveness as well, are you not?”

“Ladybug is the hottest out of all of you,” she smirked, not bothering to get up.

“Yes, that is a given, but the point is-”

“The point is that I could pull off sexy far better than this mangy stray,” Bee interrupted.

“Could not.”

“Will you two please just stop fighting, it’s been too hot to deal with this level of stupid,” Rena sighed.

“It’s not stupid, my honor is at stake!” Bee huffed. “If you want us to stop then tell him that I clearly would be better suited to being a sex icon than he would.”

“Foxy lady, please tell Bee that she is clearly pollinating the wrong flower.”

Rena groaned. Clearly there would be no reasoning with the two of them until this had been hashed out.

“Fine I will judge your stupid contest. We just get a picture of each of you and then we can decide who wins.”

Both of her partners eyes light up with an unholy gleam and then turned to face each other with a terrifying intensity.

“Ground rules-” Chat said, “sketches only, no color, has to be done in 48 hours.”

“Agreed. Also no professionals, they are too easily bribed.” Bee shot back.  

“Um...Guys…”

“Agreed.” Chat plowed on. “Realism only no alternate styles.”

“Like I want some anime portrait you weeb.”

“Says the girl who marathoned Mai-Hime last weekend.” “I told you that in confidence you mangy cat! You are so going down.” Bee glowered lifting off the ground in irritation, her wings fluttering.

“You wish,” Chat purred.

“GUYS!”

“We meet back here in 48 hours and Foxy and LB vote on the winner.” Chat said, pulling out his baton and twirling it for good measure.

“Deal. See you then whiskers.”

And before Rena Rouge could even get another word out, both of her partners had disappeared into the night.

“I meant we could just take a picture on my phone…” she muttered into the silence. She didn’t look forward to explaining this to Ladybug before patrol on Sunday.

~~~

Marinette stretched as she finally stood up from her sewing table. She felt bad about having ditched out on patrol, but she had really needed to get this dress done for her aunt.

Besides it wasn’t like her partners couldn’t handle a night on their own.

“Well Tikki I think I am going to head to-”

She stopped talking as she heard a soft repetitive tapping against her skylight.

Well that couldn’t be a good sign.

She nodded to Tikki who quickly darted into her hiding spot in one of Marinette’s plants, and hurried up the ladder to her loft to let Chat into the room.

“Hey, stranger,” she teased, “so what brings you to my side of town? Don’t you guys usually have patrols on Fridays?”

“Been keeping up with the Ladyblog I see,” Chat said, dropping down onto the bed and flashing his trademark grin.

“That’s not an answer to my question,” Marinette replied, climbing back down to her main room with Chat on her heels.

“Eh, it was a slow night. Also I need a favor.”

“A favor?” Marinette asked, settling down into her desk chair and leveling him with her best ‘What did you do now’ stare. She really hoped she wasn’t going to have to help him break into the Louvre again.

“Don’t worry nothing illegal this time,” Chat said as if reading her thoughts and putting a hand over his heart, “just a simple project that you are particularly well suited for.”

“Am I making you cookies again?”

“No. I mean if you WANT to I won’t say no, but that’s not why I am here. I need you to paint me.”

“What?”

“Well, not paint. Draw me. Black and White, pencil, full body. As sexy as possible if you don’t mind. Oh and I need it by Sunday night.”

Marinette glared at her intruder.

“Oh that’s all?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much all I need.”

Marinette picked up a ball of yarn sitting on her desk and threw it at Chat’s head.

“You can’t just barge into someone’s house and order them to draw a pin-up of you.”

“I didn’t barge in, I knocked.”

“That is not the point, you still just waltzed in and expected me to draw you.”

“Well you do draw.”

“Yes fashion. Not on demand portraits.”

“I am also not demanding, I asked for a favor.”

“Yeah well my answer is no. It’s not like I sit around hoping for you to stop in so I can draw you as some sex god.”

“But you do think I am a sex god?” Chat smiled leaning in just a little too close and laughing when Marinette shoved him away with a blush. “Yes, I have so got this!”

“You haven’t got anything. You can’t just ask people for free drawings, do you know how much time and effort these things take! It’s not like I sit around drawing all day you know.”

“I can pay you.”

“Fine, I want a new serger. Top of the line.”

“Done.”

“Wait, I was kidding.”

“I wasn’t. I can have it for you tomorrow.”

“Chat those cost like 600 Euro. You can’t just waltz in with a high end serger.”

“Sure I can, we have like 8 of them lying around the East Wing,” Chat said with an off handed wave.

Marinette simply stared at him.

“So can you do it or not?” he asked with a pout. “I need an answer cause I only have 48 hours.”

“You’re serious,” Marinette said. “You are actually offering to bring me a new serger if I draw a portrait of you.”

“A sexy portrait.”

“Whatever.”

“Yes. Like I said, this is very important and I know I can trust you.”

“Wow, that’s… actually really flattering. Ok, in that case I guess I accept.”

“Great. So I figure we can meet up tomorrow for the actual sketch. You get done at school around 12 right?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. I’ll be here by 12:15.”

Marinette nodded and watched as Chat did some sort of odd victory dance.

“So are you going to tell me what this is about?”

“Oh it’s just a small bet I have with a friend. I am totally going to win though.”

“I guess it’s nice to know you have so much faith in me,” Marinette said.

“Well... I mean I was going to ask Nathaniel, but I figured that might get awkward with the whole sexy thing.”

“Wait I was your SECOND choice?”

~~~

Nathaniel was pretty sure he must have fallen asleep, because there was no other explanation he could think of for why one of Paris’ masked Heroines was literally crawling in through his apartment window.

“Ugh,” Queen Bee huffed as she awkwardly clambered into the room, “I know you are all bohemian artsy and whatnot but would it kill you to have bigger windows?”

He said nothing, simply staring as the heroine looked around his room.

“Well you certainly have enough stuff,” she said, gesturing towards the walls and desks cluttered with various art supplies. “Yes, you will do nicely.”

“Um… I am sorry, did I miss something?” he asked, blinking a few times for good measure. Nope she was still here.

“I need you to do me.”

Nathaniel jolted backwards, tripping on a power cable and crashing back into his drafting table.  

“You need me to what?”

“Draw me. You know that whole art thing you do?”

“Oh, right… that makes a lot more sense. Actually no. No it doesn’t.”

“God, I knew this was going to be difficult. Ok. I,” she pointed at herself, “need you,” she pointed back to Nathaniel, “to draw a picture of me. By Sunday. I figure if you can make little miss goody goody pigtails look attractive this should be a piece of cake.”

“Okay,” Nathaniel said rubbing his temples in an attempt to starve off his oncoming headache, “either I have gone insane or you have, because I have no idea what you are talking about. Was there an akuma? Should I be looking for cover or something?”

“No, I just need you to draw me. And make it sexy. I mean I am always sexy, but it needs to be like extra sexy. Try not to drool on my picture. You’ll do great.”

Nathaniel was fairly certain he was the source of the oddly choked wheezing noise that sounded when Queen Bee patted him approvingly on the head.

“Um, Queen Bee…”

“Just Bee is fine. We have a working relationship now.”

“Ok, Bee… why am I drawing you, exactly?” Nathanael asked, side stepping away from his uninvited guest and sitting down on his drawing stool.

She blinked as if he had asked her to explain the current state of the geopolitical climate and not a simple question. “Because I asked you too,” she said.

Nathanael opened his mouth to argue that you can’t just tell an artist to draw you because they can, but realized that the girl currently thumbing through his portfolio could probably toss him one handed out of his previously acknowledged small window, and thought better of it. She could be under the influence of an akuma. It was hardly unprecedented after all for one of the heroes to get caught in the crossfire after a fight, and without more information it was best to stay on her good side.

“These are actually really good,” Bee said with a smile, and Nathanael felt his cheeks reddened at the compliment, “I always did have an eye for quality.” She shot him a playful wink and Nathanael wondered if he could die of embarrassment. If nothing else he was pretty sure that his skin was the same shade as his hair.

“Well, um… I guess I could draw you as a commission. It would cost-” he began, but before he could finish Bee’s whole face lit up delightedly and she squealed.

“I already thought of that,” she grinned, reaching into the small weapon satchel on her hip and drawing out a pile of bills that she slammed onto the table next to him. “Oh this is going to be so great! I can’t wait to see the look on his stupid face! So, we aren’t going to do the actual drawing here right? I don’t think the lighting is going to set me off to my best advantage.”

“That’s like 500 Euro,” Nathaniel gasped, staring down at the pile of money.

“Yeah, that should be plenty for a deposit, you’re not Degas you know.”

“A deposit?” Nathanael gasped.

“Yeah, I know how this works. You get the rest when we are done, I don’t want you going crazy with artistic liberties or whatever. This has to be perfect. We can meet up tomorrow at the park next to your school at the end of classes and go from there ok?”

Nathanael looked at Queen Bee, smiling like she had just won the lottery. He felt a sinking feeling in his gut that taking this assignment on was going to end up being a lot more complicated than just doing a simple drawing. His eyes drifted to the pile of cash. He really did need to replace his drawing tablet. Not to mention the other supplies he could purchase if she was serious about this just being a deposit.

“Oh what the hell,” he sighed, “where in the park do you want to meet exactly?”

~~~

True to his word Chat Noir arrived on her balcony promptly at 12:15, the promised serger in his arms and a devilish smile on his face.

“I trust this will meet with your approval? It’s supposed to be an excellent brand but my f- my supplier favors a different company, so this one was destined to collect dust for all eternity.

“I can’t believe you actually got me a serger,” Marinette breathed, trying not to drool at the exquisite piece of equipment that apparently now belonged to her.

“Well, shall we get started?” Chat said.

Marinette nodded and they both climbed down into her room.

“So,” Marinette began sitting down in her computer chair and grabbing up her sketchbook and pencil, “how exactly do we want to do… thi… Chat what are you doing?”

She watched, fascinated, as Chat rushed around her room with a strangely determined expression, adjusting curtains and angling her chaise lounger.

“We need some up lighting. Do you have- oh never mind I see one,” he said grabbing a clip light she had  attached to the window by her dress form and repositioning it.

For about 20 minutes he moved, tweaked, and adjusted every available light source in her room. Then when he was finally content with his work he grabbed the back of her chair and spun her into position with a triumphant flourish.

“What was that?” Marinette asked, finally breaking out of the stupor brought on by his uncharacteristic behavior.

“70% of great composition is good lighting,” Chat said with the parroting tone of someone who had heard that phrase a thousand times.

“Do you work for a photographer or something?”

Chat laughed delightedly, “You could say that. So what sort of pose would you like me in mademoiselle artist? Remember we need this to be sexy.”

“Oh dear,” Marinette said teasingly, “I don’t know if I know any poses that can make pun loving nerds sexy.”

He glared playfully at her and pounced onto the chaise.

“Oh I know,” she continued with a giggle, “if we want to be thematic we should try to stay with the cat aesthetic, maybe have you lay on your back with your paws in the air!”

“Very funny princess.”

“Ooo! Or how about that thing where cat’s stretch and stick their butts in the air! I am sure your admirers would love that.”

“Well I do have a fantastic butt,” Chat smirked, “but this is actually very important. So how do you want me Marinette?”

Marinette ignored the nervous little flutter in her stomach at his phrasing and tried to think. After all, she was getting paid extremely well to do this and she owed it to her friend to try her best.

“Alright well why don’t we try a sort of, lounging pose? Try laying back or something.”

“Sure,” Chat said, his brow furrowing in concentration for a moment before he swooned back onto the chaise, one arm above his head, one leg dangling lazily off the lounger, and his face angled slightly up as he gave her a knowing, come hither smirk.

Before today, Marinette would have said that she knew just about everything a person could know about Chat Noir without compromising his identity. They had been partners for almost 3 years, he had been friends with her as Marinette as well for 2 of those. She knew his favorite flavor of ice cream, his ticklish spots, how to make him purr and that fact that he would always get embarrassed when he did. She knew how he liked his tea and that he would mouth along with his favorite movies. She knew he was kind. She knew he was brave. She knew he was sometimes oblivious and prone to occasional bouts of jealousy. She knew he was easily entertained and would literally die for the people he cared about if it came down to it. She knew that he was a nerd with a terrible sense of humor. What she hadn’t known- or at least hadn’t truly understood on more than a hypothetical level before this very moment- was that Chat Noir was also very, VERY sexy.

She stared open mouthed at boy… man… ridiculously pretty cat thing in front of her, her pencil hovering uselessly over her sketchpad. He stayed perfectly still, all lithe lines and easy grace, as if sprawling on a couch looking like he was waiting to be devoured by hormone riddled females was his day job.

Where was her rambunctious, guileless partner, with his over-wide smiles and constant fidgeting? Who was this intense, restrained, gorgeous figure that had taken his place? And was there any way she could get a refund on her sanity?  

She heard a soft thud and her cheeks flamed as she realized she had dropped her pencil.

“I donnow, I don’t think I am feeling this pose,” she babbled as she scrambled to retrieve her fallen pencil and calm her frazzled nerves, “Wh..why don’t you try sitting up? Maybe something more… I don’t know… uh… formal?”

“Okay,” Chat said with a shrug, completely clueless to the mental and emotional roller coaster she was experiencing as he adjusted into a new pose.

He sat forward on the edge of the chaise, one leg tucked up while the other foot rested lightly on the floor. One hand propped lightly against his knee while the other braced against the couch. This time his head was slightly tucked down, his brilliant green eyes looking up with a captivating gleam and his lips softly curved in a half sheepish, half hopeful smile that was somehow five times more devastatingly appealing than the smirk had been.

“This better?” he asked without the slightest trace of sarcasm or suspicion.

“Yeah… great,” Marinette gulped.

“Okay! Make me sexy princess,” he said, his grin widening for just a moment before falling back into his pose.

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Marinette muttered. Ignoring the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks, she began to sketch.  

___

Nathaniel wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved when he saw Queen Bee trying, and failing, to hide herself behind a tree in the school courtyard.

Several of his other school mates had already caught sight of the hero and were giggling amongst their friend groups or pulling out phones to grab some pictures.

“Psst! Nathaniel! NATHA- ugh- I’m over here!” She began frantically waving him over, clearly struggling not to resort to shouting at him.

Nathaniel bit back a smile as he watched the out of place superhero, clearly oblivious to the stares and whispers she was garnering. The lack of stealth was actually rather endearing. He was almost tempted to pretend that he didn’t see her just to see what she would do, but decided it wasn’t worth it to press his luck with someone who could probably pick him up with one hand.

He hurried over and as soon as he was in grabbing distance found himself hauled into a nearby bush.

“Oh good you’re here! So Nath, can I call you Nath?”

“Um… no?”

“I’m gonna call you Nath. So anyways Nath, I have the perfect place for you to work, it will be a much better atmosphere than your cramped little bedroom. I assume you have everything you need?”

Nathaniel blinked. “I have a sketchbook and my pencils, but-”

“Perfect! OK! Let’s go!”

“Wait what do you- OH MY GOD…” and without any further warning Nathaniel found himself desperately clinging to his new patroness as she lifted them both effortlessly into the sky.

The next few minutes were a blur for Nathaniel. I was fairly sure that Queen Bee had yelled something at him, but it was drown out by his own occasional scream of terror as they zoomed horrifyingly close to chimneys, spires, and even one particularly menacing looking (at least at the time) clock tower.

By the time they landed at their destination his vision was blurry and he was trying not to throw up.

“See, here we are safe and sound,” Bee said happily. She slapped him on the back and Nathaniel staggered forward.

“Jeez, you really don’t like flying do you? Sorry. I’ll go slower next time.”

“Next time…” Nathaniel wheezed, allowing Bee to pull him forward from the balcony and through the large glass doors.

“Here, sit. Let me get you some water. That’s what you want right? Water?”

“Water would be great,” Nathaniel said, letting out a long breath as she hurried off to complete her task. Now that he was no longer in fear of being dropped to his death, Nathaniel allowed himself to relax and catch his bearings.

He looked around the large suite, noting the impressive amount of natural lighting, the lavish furnishings… the very familiar furnishing.

He stood up, rushing over to the other side of the room. Sure enough, there was a large king sized canopy bed, complete with the Ladybug plush pillow and a small, well loved yellow bear.

“Nath? Nath, where did… oh, there you are. I have your water,” Bee said, holding out the glass with a smug little grin.

“OMG You’re Chloe,” Nathaniel said.

“What,” Bee said, her voice taking on a familiar shrillness, “no I’m not, why would you say that?”

It was like a lightswitch had turned on in his brain. Now that he knew everything seemed so obvious. How could it be anyone BUT Chloe. She had her looks, her voice, her mannerisms. Nathaniel had drawn dozens, maybe hundreds of pictures of all of the five heroes, yet somehow he had never made the now obvious connection. It must have been some kind of magic. It was the only thing that made sense. Either that or he was the world’s biggest idiot.

He was going to go with magic.

“You’re Chloe,” he said again, mostly because his brain was still trying to process the fact that one of the beloved heroes of Paris was actually the school’s reigning queen of terror.

“Of course I am not Chloe! I mean… that would be stupid. Plus, Chloe is like, really busy being fabulous and probably out buying those amazing Dulci pumps I’ve been meaning to grab for forever.”

“Really?” Nathaniel said skeptically.

“Obviously,” she said with a dramatic flip of her hair, though her voice trembled nervously.

“We are in your room,” Nathaniel pointed out flatly.

“Yeah, so?”

“So I’ve been to your room before Chloe!”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she insisted stubbornly. “Besides everyone says that this Chloe person is really mean. And I’ve been nothing but nice to you. I’m a hero.”

Nathaniel felt his heart soften a little in spite of himself at her vulnerable tone. He stared at Chloe, so many things clicking into place now that he knew her secret. Her continued obsession with Ladybug, her complete turn around on her opinion of Chat Noir whom she had always been dismissive of back in their first year of college. Her slow but steady attempts to be nicer to everyone in the school who wasn’t named Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

“You know Chloe has actually gotten a lot better these days,” he said cautiously.

“You… you think so?” she asked breathlessly, and Nathaniel couldn’t quite hold back a soft smile.

“Yeah,” he said, and she beamed. The smile lit up her whole face and for the first time Nathaniel caught a glimpse of Chloe hiding behind all the pride and hostility. The Chloe Adrien had always insisted was buried deep down waiting for a chance to come out. It seems he had been right.

“You know,” he added “Adrien was even mentioning it the other day, how it was nice that people were getting to see you as the friend he’s known for so long and not just the class bully.”

He watched amused and Chloe puffed up with pride, her smile melting into her signature smirk.

“Well I would hope so! Given how much work I have put in to following all his stupid rules about proper behavior, including the one where I’m apparently not even allowed to brag about the effort I am putting out, the least he can do is make sure that everyone is appreciating... “ she trailed off and looked at him with a wide eyed, horrified expression.

“Appreciating what, Chloe?”

“Oh crap…”

___

Well I hope you guys have enjoyed this so far! 

I was going to finish the whole thing and post it in one go, but A. Its way longer than I meant it to be and B. The middle section that I am trying to clean up is giving me burn out so I need some positive reinforcement lol. Anyways I am still working on in even as I post this so more might go up today, it will probably all but up before the week is out lol. Anyways hope you liked it so far! See you soon! 

#my fanfiction #my writing #DML fic #Marichat #Chloenath #humor #zag spoilers