#also had more fun with ratio's than i expected

[ceruark]

general yandere headcanons - ratio, boothill, aventurine, sunday

notes: gn! reader. yandere! ratio, boothill, aventurine, sunday [separate] cw: general yandere themes - obsessive & possessive behavior, stalking, abduction, manipulation, blackmail, brainwashing words: 2250 a/n: one of these is longer than the others. can you tell i have a favorite?

VERITAS believes genius comes in many forms, and you exhibit some traits that could qualify you as being one. Whether or not you're a scholar, your ability to listen intently, ponder things deeply, and uphold meaningful conversation captured his attention and landed you in his favor. He thinks highly of you, and finds himself eagerly awaiting the next time he can poke your brain about some complex topic you feel like you aren’t equipped to comment on, but do so anyway at his insistence.

His obsession with you isn't apparent at first, not even to him. He tells himself it's simply in a scholar's nature to learn more about the things that intrigue them, and you're not special just because he seeks out information on you wherever he can. His research ends up paying off when he finds out that you desire more than the quaint life you've made for yourself, and he personally extends you an invitation to Veritas Prime.

When you accept, he insists that you attend as many of his lectures as humanly possible. Even if it doesn't align with what you're studying, he convinces you to show up anyway, fabricating some argument for how it will be useful for you in the future. Normally he'd be irritated with himself for giving a lackluster lecture, but he can hardly blame himself for being distracted when he has your undivided attention for hours on end. He's addicted to it, the way your eyes lock with his, the way you hang on to every word leaving his mouth.

Not that any of this is obvious to you. No, from your perspective, he's harsh and critical, always undermining your intelligence by insisting you need additional lectures and overseeing your studies himself. Obviously, he doesn't put much faith in your competency and thinks you'll fail unless you're being handheld the entire way. He may not outright insult you the way he does with others, but his "special treatment" is enough to make you feel insecure in your own abilities.

And that insecurity is a weak point he unapologetically exploits. When he feels like he hasn't seen enough of you lately, all it takes is a few bad marks from him to have you at his side, seeking out guidance and ways to improve. The worst is when he catches you spending too much time (which is any time at all) with those insignificant simpletons you call your friends. Clearly, you have too much time on your hands. Certainly you can assist him with his latest project, no? Well, if you'd rather slack off and lose all the progress you've made so far, that's fine, too.

You'll never know what his true intentions are until he's already involved in or controlling every aspect of your life, and at that point, you can't risk upsetting him. Your future success is contingent on how content you can keep him, and in this new phase of your relationship, you hardly know how to do that.

Better get to researching.

Threat Level: 3/5 Pet Names: darling, dear/dearest

BOOTHILL loves to make you laugh— it's the thing that drew him to you. He'll do anything to keep your attention on him, not caring how much of a fool he looks so long as you keep those gorgeous eyes on him. But beneath all the flirtation and humor is a deep desperation; he can't lose you, not after everything he's already lost. He stays on your home planet for as long as he can, but he has things to take care of, so he can't stick around forever.

To be fair, he tries. He makes the first few trips alone, leaving you behind to live your life— and every minute is agony. He doesn't know what you're doing, who you're with, or if you're safe. He's glued to his phone, constantly checking the news to make sure no tragedy has struck your home planet or the cozy town you reside in. Every night he wakes up from a nightmare, the sounds of bombs ringing in his ears and the illusion of your corpse still hovering before his eyes.

The next time he visits you, he takes you. You're coming with him— you don't have a choice. He can't live without you by his side, but he can't stay in one place, either. You can fight him all you want, but he's relentless, and his fear builds up into a frustration that causes him to be a little harsh. You're weak, vulnerable, and you can't be expected to protect yourself, so he has to. When he calms down, he tries to convince you that it won't be so bad. You'll get to travel the endless galaxy with the man you'd been so taken with just a few days ago. What more could you ask for?

Trying to escape him is futile. He's probably the easiest one on this list to get away from, but don't let that get to your head: he'll be hot on your trail, so you better hope those few days away from him are worth it in the end.

But with time you'll learn there is some truth to his words; if you don't try to leave him and keep him happy, then maybe you can trick yourself into believing that this is a life you chose for yourself.

Threat Level: 3.5/5 Pet Names: beau, gorgeous, sugar

AVENTURINE is like a moth to a flame, and your capacity for intimacy is the match. You're the first person in recent memory who treats him as a person, not as a commodity or a body, a wallet or another cog in the machine. Your first interaction was fleeting, but it replays in his mind every time he closes his eyes.

He watches you for some time, learning you inside and out— partially to satisfy his desire to know more about you, but mostly for leverage. He memorizes your schedule and interests, and subpoenas documents to learn more sensitive information, such as your medical history and anything pertaining to your family. He remembers everyone you interact with, making note of who's on the sidelines and who's part of your inner circle. He sees the way you openly bare your heart to them, keeping them comforted by its warmth, and he wants it all for himself. Hasn't he been denied something so pure for long enough?

He's charming in the beginning, using one of his many masks to slither his way into your mind and heart. He showers you with compliments and gifts, leaving you flustered after every single meeting. He knows exactly what you like, so it's easy to keep you fixated on him.

When you two finally make things official, he lures you into the palm of his hand. Your rent unexpectedly went up? No worries, he can start covering that for you— it's no trouble for him, really. Someone important to you had an unexpected health issue and can't cover the bill? He's got it, anything to cause you less stress. Is he sure it's okay? Of course it is. He only wants to see you happy.

When your friends start dropping like flies and even your family starts to distance themselves for you, he's by your side through the turmoil. Fate has been so cruel to the both of you, hasn't it? It's okay, he's here for you. He's not going anywhere.

By the time you catch on to his manipulation and realize he's behind your isolation from your friends and family, it's too late. You're too dependent on him, and he knows everything about you and anyone still sticking by you. Do you dare bite the hand that feeds you? Will you try to escape? Can you afford to pay the price if it all goes wrong?

What will you wager to get yourself back in his good graces?

It’s unwise to try your luck against his. Play along, and perhaps he'll show you the face that you fell for.

Threat Level: 4/5 Pet Names: babe, doll, sweetheart

SUNDAY takes notice of you because of your carefree nature. Being so trapped in his own head about the fate of Penacony and humanity as a whole, he's captivated by the way you seem unconcerned with matters larger than yourself. While you do plan for the future and have aspirations of your own, you still manage to live in the moment and take things one day at a time, possessing a liveliness he's never quite seen before, never been allowed to have himself.

He knows about you long before you ever meet him. Nightingales line every path you walk, sticking to the shadows and noting everything about you: the places you frequent, the food you like, the type of clothes you buy, your colleagues, your route home, and the little habits you have that he finds so endearing.

When he finally appears before you, you're starstruck— how could you not be? The head of the Oak Family is seated beside you at Dreamjolt Holstery, making small talk about your day and your life and your interests when he could be speaking to any of the other high-profile guests at the bar. You're flustered from the honor of having his undivided attention, and the butterflies in your stomach only worsen when he asks if it would be possible to keep in contact with you. Of course, you give him your number, and your impromptu meeting turns into another, and from there, into more.

He's so earnest in his adoration for you that you never notice how off-putting it is that he seems to already know what you like. Surely it's just a coincidence that he takes you out to all your favorite places and gifts you things that you'd been spending months saving up to buy yourself. It's nothing more than fate that you seem to bump into him at the oddest of times, on your way back home from a night out on the town, or during the day while you're heading out to meet with one of your friends.

It's only when you agree to a relationship that you start to get concerned. Describing his behavior as "clingy" would be putting it lightly; he tries to have you by his side in any way he can, talking you into attending a party with him or asking you to sit in his office at his side while he gets through paperwork. When you go anywhere without him, he's ordering a member of the Bloodhound Family to accompany you. He seems so distressed at the mere thought of you not being by his side, nevermind the thought of you being out in public by yourself— it's not healthy for either of you. Before you can even think to voice your concerns to him, he's wrapping his arms around you and reminding you that he just worries about you. The Family has many enemies, and they would be willing to use you to get to him. He just wants to make sure you're safe.

When Robin goes missing, things take a turn for the worse. He moves you into Dewlight Pavilion, and you don't get a say in the matter. If he's home, you're by his side at all times. Anything you have to tend to at this point can be done from within the comfort of the estate, and in his presence. Even if he's not there, he might as well be; the nightingales and their pervasive gaze are out in the open now, watching as you aimlessly wander the pavilion, getting lost in the maze and growing a little more desperate each time you explore your new home. You move through the mansion with an urgency, like you're searching for something.

Like you're trying to leave.

When Sunday's suffocating protection inevitably gets to you and you try to confront him, he gives you one more chance to see things his way on your own. It's a miscalculation on his end; you snap again, only this time, you manage to find an exit. You make it back to Golden Hour, but by the time you get there, there's already a group of Bloodhounds waiting to catch you and drag you back.

When you're shoved into his office, he's standing with his back to you, hands clasped behind his back. You can hear the heartbreak, the betrayal in his voice as he tells you how hurt he is that you'd endanger yourself after everything he's done for you. Out of guilt or fear, you can't tell, but you apologize and swear to him that you won't do it again.

And you won't— he'll make sure of it. Under the light of the Harmony, all is revealed: his undying love for you, your reciprocation, and the strength of his will over yours. You see it now, don't you? Everything he does is for your wellbeing. Clipping your wings while you're on the ground is just a way to ensure you'll never fall out of the sky. You're safe here, in this gilded cage he's tailored your tastes, with a kind keeper to tend to your every need and shower you with all the affection your heart could ever desire. How could you fault him for that?

You can't. After all, you don’t even remember why you were upset with him in the first place.

Threat Level: 5/5 Pet Names: angel, dear/dearest, dove

#got a little carried away with sunday's #also had more fun with ratio's than i expected #tsundere yanderes are a different kind of awful #yandere hsr x reader #yandere honkai star rail #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x you #yandere x reader #yandere ratio #yandere boothill #yandere aventurine #yandere sunday #hsr x reader #hsr x you #honkai star rail x reader #hsr ratio #hsr boothill #hsr aventurine #hsr sunday #ceru.writes #ceru.yan

[matrixbearer2024]

HEYYYYY so ive been thinking, what if reader is like good at singing and one day when vox tells her he’ll be out for a meeting and then they start busting down them tunes not knowing vox came back and then after theyre done singing vox is just like “wow that sucked” (bro does NOT want to compliment them🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🚫🚫)

Sing-Song Shenanigans

A/N: HAHAHAHAHA I've been wanting to incorporate this into a new interlude and now this has absolutely given me the chance to- Vox at this point is practically wrapped around our dear Reader's pinkie, he's just in denial about it not to mention absolutely clueless. He compliments (Y/N) easily whenever he can pull the charm but his default is usually: "Haha lol u suck + ratio" while he not so subtly overheats and melts on the other side-

A/N: Also- this is the song Reader sings- I know the voice for Vox is outdated but the point is just it's his song that Reader sings lololol- Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one and as always- happy reading!

You honestly didn't know if you should've expected this or not.

For someone as egotistical as Vox-

It kind of made sense that he would've straight up written his own theme song.

You only joked about it offhandedly-

Only for him to actually send you an audio file with a song he wrote and SANG.

Did he just have the file on hand or something??

You just looked up at the TV screen dumbfounded.

"I never aired it, I was just an up and coming overlord when it was made."

Came his nonchalant reply, you could only guess he shrugged but since his face was all you saw it was just a guess.

"I'll give it a listen later, you weren't finished with your story!"

"Right, where was I?"

And just like that, you both continued talking well into the night.

You'd actually almost forgotten about the audio file when Vox disconnected and bid you good night and adieu.

But seeing it in the chats when you opened your phone reminded you.

Well, it was probably cringe and you could make fun of Vox the next time around-

So you gave it a listen.

Only for the song to be pretty catchy and good.

Like the beat was stuck in your head good.

You didn't think that would've been the case at all.

And he said he didn't air this??

What the hell Vox???

Before you knew it, the darn thing ended up playing on loop more times than you would dare recall.

Too bad you couldn't include it into your playlist since that would mean having to publish it.

And you were just not ready to have that conversation with Vox yet.

Especially when it meant admitting that you liked listening to his singing.

And fuck THAT.

You absentmindedly hummed the tune on the way to university-

While you traversed between classrooms-

Even during breaks.

It only hit you that it actually was stuck in your head when you were asked about it.

"Yoooo (Y/N), what's that new bop you're listening to? It sounds pretty good from just your humming."

"Oh uh... it's a song a friend wrote. He sent it to me to... ask for my opinion!"

"Really? Can you send it to me too? I want to give it a listen!"

At least they didn't notice your awkwardness answering their question.

But because you didn't want to make it seem even weirder-

You hesitantly agreed to let your friend listen in as well.

Only for them to seriously cement what you didn't want to hear.

"Dude! They should publish this! It's a banger!"

"Eh? You think so?"

You knew the last thing Vox needed was another ego boost.

Maybe you could just keep silent about this whole thing?

"Hell yeah! What's their name?"

Or not.

Fuck.

"Of the song-?"

"The artist you goof, what does your friend call themselves? Surely they've got to be making music for a while with this experience."

Your friends had absolutely no idea you were friends with a technology demon overlord.

Even if it was their shenanigans that summoned his presence in the fucking first place!

You still couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or grateful for that fact-

What the hell were you even supposed to tell them??

"Uhhh... Vox?"

"Vox? That's a weird name. I almost thought you said 'aux', like the aux port."

You didn't notice that before, was his name actually an alias?

You weren't even surprised at this point if it was.

"Y-yeah, it's a mix of the words voice and aux! He came up with it!"

You pat yourself on the back for that bullshit reason, who cares at this point if it was right or not-

You could always just ask Vox personally later.

"Well you should ask him if we can make a music video for it!"

"Excuse me what-"

That immediately made you blank.

Did you seriously hear that right-

A fucking music video???

Problem was, you were way too deep into this conversation to back out now.

"Yeah! It would work for the music project the school's been encouraging!"

Right... the community music program your university's been doing to help spread the names of up and aspiring artists.

Problem being how in the fucking hell were you supposed to dodge a very blatant unspoken issue.

Which was the fact the song's writer and producer had been dead for DECADES.

That and you didn't even want to think of the ego boost Vox would get if you told him that your friends wanted to make a music video of his theme song.

They didn't know about him, but you were sure it would immediately go to the overlord's head.

Could this day get any worse??

"Uhhh- yeaaaah- I'll see what I can do?"

"Come on (Y/N)! You've got to at least try and convince him! This'll be a hit once it's out!"

You hated that you agreed with the fact the song most likely would be a hit.

Especially with the new rise of electro-pop.

God fucking damn it-

So that's how you found yourself pacing your living room waiting for Vox to finish with his meeting.

Well, if you guys were to make a music video anyway... might as well practice right?

Vox was a little bit concerned when you suddenly shot him a message during a meeting asking to meet up.

Especially when he couldn't really figure out what was wrong.

You seemed just fine a while ago?

Did something happen in class?

He looked back at your messages in the chat while he wracked his brain for any clues.

"Hey uh- if you're not busy I need to talk to you?"

"Why the rush doll? Miss me already?"

"In your dreams Samsung! Something came up and I need to talk to you."

"I'm in a meeting right now but I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks."

Suffice to say, he rushed the meeting so it would end quickly.

Vox didn't really even care that there were some things that still needed polishing with the presented concept.

It was a problem he could deal with later.

First, he needed to check what was wrong with you.

So you could imagine his surprise when he saw you on his feed dancing and singing.

Had you connected your computer up to the TV while waiting for him?

Vox just silently watched your antics while a familiar tune played in the background to accompany your actions.

"So I'll corrupt, manipulate, control what they see~"

Admittedly, the overlord found himself enraptured by your movements and singing.

He really couldn't help but stare as you danced around and performed to no one in particular.

If he'd only known that you would like his music sooner-

Maybe he'd have sent you more.

"I am the master of obscuring through our technology~!"

Vox didn't really think much of the song he'd sent you the other night.

A slight nervousness hit him when he was about to sleep wondering if you'd like it-

But clearly-

He didn't need to be worried at all.

"I'll sell your every single weakness back to you for a fee!"

A part of him wanted to just appear and see if you'd notice-

But the risk of cutting your performance short stopped him from going through with it.

"Don't be a fool and stand there droolin'-"

Vox couldn't help but chuckle, well-

That line was more ironic that it should've been in this situation.

"Get those Eyes. On. Me!"

His fans whirred loudly at this point, while your dance moves were quite clumsy and even random compared to more seasoned dancers-

Vox couldn't help but think you were just friggin adorable.

"Take a chance, play my game, get the rush in your veins~"

He really tried to keep his cool-

The overlord really really tried.

But he couldn't help the stupid grin on his face when he discreetly appeared on your TV.

"I'm sending out my signal download into your brain~!"

That was when he realized your eyes were closed.

It seems like whether or not he'd have appeared you wouldn't notice.

"And I'll be conquerin' the airwaves, I'm on all of your screens-"

As much as it was his theme song, Vox felt like you could rock the vibe just as well.

Which was so hilariously disconnected that he couldn't help but softly chuckle imagining it.

Well, maybe it was about time you realized he was actually here.

"So pay up motherfuckers, you belong to Vee!"

You screamed in surprise when you heard his voice from behind you.

The direction of the speaker was far enough for you to realize your digital companion appeared on the TV.

Of course he just had to join in at the last moment!

Wait-

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!"

Your face was beet red from embarrassment, he wasn't supposed to see any of that!

"Long enough, I didn't realize you liked the song that much dollface!"

You practically swore at him up and down as Vox laughed and mercilessly teased you.

He seriously could've given you any hint if he arrived!

The fucking jerk-!

"I'm not doing it for you! My friends gave a listen to your song and they want to make a music video for it!"

Vox hummed thoughtfully, he was still on his high watching you get all shy and flustered.

You were so fucking cute-

"I'll agree to it on one condition."

You were almost too scared to even ask, weighing your choices before eventually daring to inquire.

The grin the overlord gave you immediately made you regret pushing forward with it.

"Fine fine, what's the condition?"

"That you perform and sing in the music video and send it to me."

"What?! Why?!"

Vox just laughed at your expense, the fact you were practically steaming out the ears because of him was the most entertaining thing he'd seen all day.

"Why not? Can't I have a look at the final product I'm agreeing to?"

You stuttered and huffed, he had a point there.

Fucking hell....

You should've never agreed to that fucking music video!!!

"Oh shut up, you just wanna see me sing and dance."

"Not really, your performance sucked."

"Oh fuck off Vox!"

The overlord just continued to laugh at how blushy and red you got.

Maybe he did enjoy your singing and dancing.

Well, it's not like he'll ever admit it.

#vox x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel x reader #vox #hazbin vox #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #vox x you #get off my screen series

[futbol16]

Like Ale ・ Alexia Putellas

Based on this request, hope you'll like it!

Request: "can you write one for Alexia? Reader and Alexia used to be Barcas force with Ale being a middy and reader being a forward. Reader has always been a free spirit on the field. Pulling tricks, tackling and doing insanly fast sprints. So before Alexias injury they would always lead Barca to a win if they were on the pitch together. Now that Alexia is out with her ACL Reader has to carry Barca to a win on her own. Not only that but being just as famous and great play footballer as Alexia, the management puts the reader up for Tons of Media duty. Revolving in stressed reader trying to live up to everyones expections."

Word count: 1,9k

La Reina y La Pistola, that is the name the fans of the football world have given the two of you. You and Alexia live and breathe Barca, your loyalty to the club obvious to those around you, especially yours as you had grown up in La Maisa. 

Your chemistry with la Reina on the pitch is what more often than not led your team to a win. The two of you were a force to recon with. Alexia being the midfielder, setting the pace of the game, keeping possession of the ball and assisting goals, and you being the forward who received those assists and sent them to the back of the net.

 Although you did a pretty good job at shooting on goal, your goal ratio being a solid 0.76 goal per game, you also were known as a free spirit on the field. Switching up the usual role of a forward and showing off your ball control skills, sometimes attempting a tackle and your explosive speed, hence the nickname La Pistola. 

However with your partner in crime being out due to injury, you had taken on the role of being the team’s captain. But your connection with the brunette wasn’t only for the pitch, she was your main confidant and you were hers. 

Your team’s main focus was to win everything and anything there was to win, but with being a popular professional athlete came the importance of media duties. You were often called in for interviews or media day videos as a co-captain but also because of your fluency in English, something that allowed the Barca tv to reach more than just the Spanish Culers. 

That is where you were right now as well, sat in front of cameras with Ingrid next to you. Media days could be fun and you were glad today was one of those instead of a draining one, you were still tired from the promotion you had to shoot the other day with one of Barcelona’s sponsors. 

Right now though you let yourself relax as you joked back and forth with the Norwegian, enjoying yourselves. The two of you were currently being shown edits made by fans, this one about Ingrid and Mapi’s relationship. 

“Aww, she’s blushing!” you exclaimed as you squished one of her cheeks, laughing as she swatted your hands away.

“Just wait until we get to yours!” Soon you were shown another video, this one indeed being about you and you groaned aloud. You were sure it would yet again be a video of you falling over stray balls in training.

“Oh Y/N you’re gonna want to see this one.” Ingrid smacked at your shoulder and you leaned over as the video started playing again.

You know you wanna be fast like Mbappe,

You know, shoot like Ronaldo,

Pass like Messi, be dominant like Zlatan.

But man, I wanted to be like Y/N L/N.

You watched the video with a surprised look, you would have never thought people would compare you to some of the best in the sport. It filled you with immense pride, but at the same time you suddenly had an uneasy feeling.

Are you really that good? Or are they just saying it because Alexia can’t play right now? Was your football good enough?

You couldn’t let those thoughts eat away at you though, not like you really had time for your own thoughts anyways.

Between being busy getting the team ready for the champions league qualifications and friendlies while also having to worry about Jorge and the Spanish national team, you barely had the energy to change into pajamas at the end of the day. 

You were exhausted to say the least, but it seemed to be paying off. The girls were on fire and the new additions on the team seemed to be settling in well as well. As captain, it was your job to help them adjust to everything so you had mandatory team bonding every Friday night.

It helped the girls unwind from the stress of the week while also having fun in each other’s company. You loved it, you truly did because you wanted nothing but the best for this team. But it was becoming incredibly difficult to show up to these team bondings with the busy schedule you seemed to have.

ElClásico was just as important in the women’s game as in the men’s and the team was hyped as they made their way onto the field,with you at the very beginning of the line.

Barca was immediately off to a wonderful start with Ana scoring a goal not even five minutes into the game and you soon sent your own shot into the back of the net in the 27th minute.

Living up to your nickname your celebration was you imitating a pistol and shooting it at Misa before jumping into Irene's open arms.

The game ended with a 4-0 win for Barca and for a second you stood with the rest of the team, ecstatic over the victory until you made eye contact with the Real goalkeeper. 

Was 4 goals enough? You surely could’ve sent at least one more goal in there. You should have tried harder to have your name twice on the scoreboard.

Although these heavy thoughts were clouding your mind, you forced a big smile on your face as Alexia, Jana and a few of the others celebrated with you all.

It didn’t take long for the team to notice the way you were distancing yourself, pushing them away unless you were at training.

You weren’t taking your duties as a captain lightly, but with the amount of media appearances you’ve been having, you simply couldn’t take more human interaction than necessary. 

Making her way out of the locker room, Mapi stood at the entrance of the field as she watched you shoot ball after ball into the net from the penalty box and the halfline.

It was at least 40 minutes after training but you didn't seem to care, you probably didn’t even notice your friend watching you with a worried expression. She sighed before turning to go home knowing that she wouldn’t be able to convince you to follow and rest as well.

She needed to figure out a way to get to you.

Walking into the locker room the next day you stilled in your step as you were met with the whole team sitting there already.

Were you late? You couldn’t be late as captain of the team. 

Glancing at your phone, your face scrunched up in confusion. 

“Training doesn’t start for a good half hour.” Frido spoke up as if reading your thoughts.

“Yes, but we have something we need to talk about.” Claudia added as she looked up at you and you moved over to the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder. You were worried she might have picked up a small injury with how much she had been tackled at the game against real madrid.

“We’re worried about you, Y/N. You’re clearly overworking yourself and you also look like you haven’t slept in days.” Okay, that was not what you were expecting.

“First of all, thank you Patri, I appreciate the compliment. Second of all, I’m fine and there’s nothing to worry about.” you started as you moved over to your own spot, putting your stuff down and changing into your training gear. 

For a second the whole locker room was silent as they watched you before it erupted in chaos as everyone voiced their concerns regarding you.

“You’re doing extra training AFTER your extra training!”

“You haven’t been to team bonding in the last two weeks!”

“You’ve canceled any plans we’ve tried to make with you!”

“You closed yourself off, you’re not letting any of us in and we just want to help you.”

The last sentence was spoken so softly that you couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, the exhaustion forcing your emotions out. 

The Barca shirt is still clutched in your hand as your shoulders slump forward before you let yourself fall into your seat, holding your head in your hands.

The girls watch the scene unfolding in front of them, they didn’t know if you’d let them close.

The second a tear rolls down your cheek though, Irene and Mapi are beside you, your best friend and mentor pulling you into their bodies.

They hold you tight as you cry, Claudia and Patri also making their way over as they try to be physically close to you and soon the whole team joins the group hug.

“I’m sorry girls, I’m sorry it’s just everything is overwhelming right now. Everything that Ale and I had to do together, I now have to do alone and it’s so so tiring, I’m so tired.” you admit, burying your head into the crook of someone’s neck.

God, you missed them and you missed their hugs. You’ve been missing out on all of the affection with how busy you’ve been.

“But why not let us help you? Why are you driving yourself to the limits?” Ingrid questions.

“It seemed easier to just do it on my own. I was scared that the fans would think I’m not working hard enough and I didn’t want to let you guys down, I wanted to be the best captain, like Ale.”

Suddenly a throat is cleared from behind all of you and you look towards the entrance of the changing room where Alexia has been standing, unbeknownst to you all she has listened to everything that has been said.

She makes her way over to you and the group seems to part as they let her through before she’s standing right in front of you, reaching to cup your cheeks and wiping away at the remaining of your tears.

“You’re doing better than I ever could have Y/N. The team is striving, you haven’t lost a single match yet and you’re holding up perfectly without me out there on the pitch with you! You have nothing to worry about.” she assures you, and you swallow hard.

“But I miss you there.” it comes out as a whisper and the team has to stop themselves from cooing at the admission and the obvious heart eyes with which you were staring up at Alexia.

“I know bébé, I miss you guys too, I miss you too. But you all are doing better than ever and your hard work is showing on the pitch.” she says to the team, though still not letting go of your face.

She turns back to you, gently placing her forehead on yours and your eyes flutter shut at having her close again. “And I’m so incredibly proud of you mi amor.” she tells you and before you could answer, you feel soft lips on your own and you pull her closer to you.

The kiss is probably more passionate than necessary, especially with your teammates watching, but the girls cheer loudly for the two of you. You pull away with a smile resting on your face, Alexia beaming down at you.

Being captain was exhausting and it would be like that for a while until Alexia could come back and the two of you would share the stress of the media, but you wouldn’t change it for the world if it meant being a part of this team and having the girls by your side.

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #futbol16

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

It's all bad

So there is a post going around right now about how in Plano Texas, there was a sting operation that caught a sex trafficking ring. Some of the people there were first responders and teachers. However if you look at twitter, and of course on this hell site, there are people who are SO EAGER to suck a drag queens no no bits, they had to go out of their way to post some pretty "lovely" things. Now the reason I'm posting this image, rather than just the article is to prove a point.

We have absolutely zero confirmation about what the user William LeGate said here. None. At best he tried to look up some names, and background checks on those listed. However, on the original post by the DFWPD (Dallas Ft. Worth PD) This article is not even cited. And I looked at the article. You know what WAS listed in the "jobs" let's look:

You know what WASN'T listed? Republican Politician or "Church Leader".

Now let me show you the list of disgusting individuals, which wouldn't you know it, includes a woman.

Now let's do some math shall we. Racial, and political activists will look at this image, and do exactly what they do with is judge every single thing on surface level looks. As shown by these next tweets. (Some of them having prior records)

As you can clearly see, this started a trend of #NotADragQueen and a very old and tired trope of "The church is scarier protect them from that instead of drag queens"

My question to all of you Neo Progressives is this. Why exactly are you so hell bent on bringing up an event that happened over a decade ago?

Better question. Why exactly do you care if no drag queens were VISIBLE? Is it because parents don't think it's appropriate for their kids to be in from of a adult male in exaggerated women clothing. Several of whom have been found to have criminal records of sexual assault and some even against kids? Don't believe me? Let's look shall we.

WOW, if you look at this man's mug shot, YOU'D NEVER KNOW he was a drag queen. TURNS OUT not only was he one, but also is a child sex offender.

But rather than actually care about child sex offenders, which, let's be really fair here, you don't. You'd rather have a gatcha against those, "Evil republicans".

Let me be clear. If you look at all those mugshots? You'll notice something. Varying races and ages. You know what we AREN'T shown? Political leanings of every single person there and who they have and have no voted for. My current annoyance with all of you now, is one very LARGE thing. Rather than being happy that these people have been caught, you are FAR MORE EXCITED at the prospect that this group could contain your political enemies.

HOW F*CKED in the head are you? Really? Predators find positions of power. No matter where the position is. Sometimes they actually get complacent with their power and they begin to lose inhibitions. This should have nothing to do with the church, with drag with dems, or with reps. This SHOULD have everything to do with the fact that it's AMAZING that these assholes have been caught.

Thing is? Most conservatives just don't want drag in front of their kids. That should be their choice. AS THE PARENTS. And we don't actually know the ratio of predators to non predators in the drag community. And until they get arrested and charged, much like any other person, we CAN'T know.

Catholics were SEETHING when they found out what their leadership was doing. However, it was NOT all priests. It was not even most. It was however enough that it caused notice. And that makes sense. You can expect at least 10% of any large group to be not good people. However here is the issue. You are equating an entire group, that at the time was a VERY LARGE population size of the US. Per Capita is a fun thing to talk about. And given the LIMITED number of drag queens in the US you'd expect very very few to be guilty of sex offense. However, we see time and time again that's not the case.

Am I making the argument that drag queens are predators? No. Hell, most conservatives or moderates would not even be prone to making that argument if many of you were not so dead set on having kids see it or be around it. And the level of insistence around it kind of raises red flags if I'm being honest. Also a fun thing missed by that asshole William LeGate from the opening pictures is the mention of "Teachers" in that list of people involved. Another something people have brought up concerns over.

Stop making this about trying to own the cons. It's very possible several of the people on there are LGBT or Dem. And you'd ignore that, JUST to point out anyone not on your side. WHY THE FUCK do you care. Why can't all of it be bad. Conservatives are beat over the head with a 20 year old allegation equating their religious faith AS A WHOLE, to being pedo friendly. Imagine my shock when many got fed up with it and started putting that target on others. Mostly because it was a SMALL SUBSET of said group.

And now, just like them before, you are trying to salvage "your side" and deflect it from criticism. Also one last thing. MOST actual conservatives have not, and are not accusing most or all drag queens of being pervers or pedophiles. However in your fervor to not just demand they be in front of kids, but to also defend them from any and all allegations. I can certainly from the outside looking in see how that would be concerning. What's more, we DON'T know if any of the people shown there were drag queens. Some could have been ministers in the church. Both provide apt access to the people they wish to offend against.

Do you know what the only difference is between the two? You'll defend tooth and nail the drag queen even from the accusation. You know why that's bad? Because if that happened with a minister or pastor etc, that entire church community would be in lock down and every single person in power would be gone over with a fine tooth comb. So basically in one instance, Your side defends the potential predator, and their side demands action. In the other instance, you pat yourself on the back that bad people exist on the opposing side, and that side goes out of their way to figure out wtf is going on and seek out accountability.

Long story short. In both cases they want justice. In only once case you want justice. In the other case you are jerking off about how "good" your side is. Despite a NUMBER of people PUBLICLY that vote dem are on Epstein's flight lists including to his island on a number of occasions. Point it out and demand justice in every instance. Sex crimes especially against kids isn't a joke. And yeah OF COURSE by the laws of numbers it's going to be seen more in MUCH LARGER communities. DUH! Because there are more chances for it to even exist. A child understands that level of thought.

So again I ask you. Why do you care more about having a gatcha, than actual justice. You all saw, "the other side of the isle" and went, "See we aren't the bad guys". Meanwhile if I were to do research into every one of the people listed, I could likely find a few people who I could weaponize against your side. You know why I don't? Because I care more about the fact they got caught.

[scope-dogg]

What mecha shows did you enjoy but would not recommend to people (flawed personal favourites, shows with high entry barrier, etc.)?

Several come to mind.

Blue SPT Layzner: TV run got shitcanned prematurely and has probably the mast slapdash ending of any mecha show save maybe the TV run of Ideon. OVA adaptation opens with rushed compilation of first half of TV series that's dull to watch and not especially coherent on its own before it gets to the altered and much improved ending. Feels like there's no right way to watch it, you have to do both and piece it together in your head. Definitely one to check out after you've seen Takahashi's better work like Votoms and Dougram, though it's infuriating because the series has banger music and mecha design, and the hypothetical ideal version of the plot that you don't have to basically kitbash together in your head is really good.

Dancouga: Production values are amazing in first episodes and then turn to complete dogshit shortly thereafter, like they literally spent their whole budget up front and then had to pay their animators in loose change and leftover fast food. Very strange pacing. However I've always really liked the main protagonist Shinobu Fujiwara whose voice actor honestly carries the show on his back, and I've had a soft spot for Dancouga the mecha itself for a long time - but it doesn't actually show up until half way in. Yet somehow I can't deny the charm of the show despite how slapdash it is thanks to its interesting approach to the super robot formula, and it leads into Requiem for Victims which is the true ending for the TV plot and a followup called God Bless Dancouga, both of which are banger OVAs (and then another kinda shitty one after that but who cares.) Unfortunately they all make no sense without watching the TV run. It's a franchise for hardcore mecha fans only, though IIRC the 2000s sequel Dancouga Nova is basically disconnected and stands on its own, for better or worse. I've yet to watch it.

Tryder G7: 80s super robot show that's kind of like a part slice-of-life anime, honestly ahead of its time in a lot of ways. Would be my go-to recommendation for 80s super robot shows if there was a decent fansub. The one that exists is a Russian translation of the official Italian subs that then got translated into English and it's as disastrous as you might expect. Not only is it incoherent but even as a non-Japanese speaker I can tell it's often inaccurate. Frustrating because I can tell it's a good show that deserves a proper English sub for fans.

Cross Ange: Notorious show by the Gundam Seed creators. The concept and lore of this show is batshit insane, the mecha are cool, the main character turns out to be interesting and likable despite very negative first impressions, however there's no denying that it's buried under a thick vaneer of shallow coombait and it runs itself off the rails with zany plot at points. Honestly better than its reputation suggests but hard to recommend without looking like a pervert.

Shinkon Gattai Godannar: Basically the same thing, coombait super robot series, fun action, not a bad story. At the same time if you've ever seen a gif of absurd breast physics in anime from the 2000s there's a decent chance it's from Godannar. Good show at the end of the day, better than it has a right to be, artstyle is gonna be a big turnoff for many people and I don't necessarily blame them.

Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise: Probably the weirdest of the build series, also IMO the best. Downside: you have to suffer through the profoundly mediocre original Build Divers to get the most out of it and I'm not sure that price is worth it.

Probably more that I could add. Honourable mention has to go Gundam Seed Stargazer because you have to suffer through Gundam Seed Destiny to get to it, but I hear that the new Gundam Seed movie that's also set after Destiny is good so perhaps the cost-to-benefit ratio of suffering through Destiny has changed.

[bugbastard]

Worm is probably in the top 3 works of fiction I've read in terms of "number of hours spent thinking about it", and easily takes first place if we add in the time I've spent thinking about Wildbow's other works.

One of the topics I've found myself turning over and over in my head endlessly is why Worm works so much better than any of the other things he's written. I think a lot of it is control of tension and downtime.

What stands out about Worm compared to the others is how much slower and lighter it starts. Up until arc 8, it's really just a story about teenagers having a very wish-fulfillment-y, very wattpad-y kind of fun. Sure, they're criminals, sure, they're going up against dangerous, racist gangsters, but so much more time is devoted to their growing friendships, to stuff like going shopping, having secret hideouts, having a crush on a guy, etc. Worm even continues to have a high ratio of downtime to action well into the S9 arcs. Both of those types of things aren't just fun, they're essential to why we care about the characters in the first place, and continue to care when they go off the rails. And I know this probably seems so self-evident it isn't worth pointing out, "ofc we like characters because we see them be characters", but this just isn't as true of any later Wildbow works. Wildbow, depending how you want to analyze them, either by and large writes tragedies, or high octane action series. In the case of a tragedy, the audience needs to see what they have in order to care when they lose it. In the case of action series', there isn't a lot of narrative wiggle room for cramming in character beats.

Worm's start, specifically, does something that definitely isn't unique in fiction, but nonetheless is unique in Wildbow stories, and is especially potent when pulled off. Our main character starts the story in a bad situation, and because of that we're all the more happy when she rises out of it, and because of *that* we're all the more invested when that tentatively good situation hangs in the balance. The amount of downtime decreases steadily as the book goes on, but that's expected and fine, because 1, there's simply less room as the plot gets going, 2, putting it in anyway would ruin tension, 3, the further into the book you get the more invested you already are, and so the less you need to be convinced to care, and 4, the end of the story is getting nearer, so there's less need to stall the audience's burnout, because odds are increasing page by page that you'll be done before that happens.

Pact, of course, is a very different story, and that's mostly by design, and that design mostly works in it's favour. The start is rather abrupt and loses basically any sense of normalcy and ownership we the readers might feel over Blake's everyday life. We initially don't care about the story for Blake's sake; instead we care about Blake for the story's sake. We don't see what he had, and so, even though for Blake this is as dire a situation as the worst it gets in the first 7 arcs of Worm, initially we're pulled along more by intrigue than investment in the character. This comes back to bite Wildbow in other ways when characters from Blake's past are introduced; there is a huge disconnect in how much Blake cares about them, how big a tool of the plot Wildbow wants them to be, and how little the audience knows or personally cares about them. The pacing is also very fast without much downtime, but that works in the favour of the novel. It makes it a harrowing read, but that's by design, and it's the shortest of his novels, so it doesn't overstay its welcome.

Twig largely carries on the minimal downtime pacing of Pact, to mixed effect. As the arcs are "assignments" rather than fully causally, character driven events, it logically makes sense for this to be the case, but the slightly stilted vibe this imparts on the story, and the fact that both the characters, and by extension you the reader, aren't overly invested in the cases for their own sake, makes the fact that almost all of the downtime, and most of the relaxed, fun character moments that sell the main cast as (imo) the best set of main characters Wildbow has written to date, is confined to rougly the first and last chapters of a given arc rather frustrating, as those characters *are* undeniably the throughline, and are absolutely carrying the plot rather than the other way around. At about the halfway point, the plot takes over and downtime takes even more of a backseat, which doesn't work in this case, because not only is the audience probably more invested in the characters than they are the plot, it's actually unclear given prior characterization why the characters care about the plot as much as the story wants you to believe they do. But that's a different conversation. Twig, favourite, least favourite Wildbow story, I promise I'll talk about you at length like you deserve some day.

With Ward, I honestly can't even pretend to have an objective and unbiased opinion of it. I finished binging all of Worm just around the time Glo-Worm dropped, and I immediately moved on to Pact, burned out once on that, then Twig, and burned out threeish times on that. By the time I'd gotten to Ward, I was very burnt out on some aspects of Wildbow's writing that have only increased over time. I think I'm probably on the extreme low end of people who've read more than one web novel by Wildbow in terms of how much interest I have in reading long, drawn out fight scenes, for instance. Reading Ward, I don't think there was a single time I caught up to what had been written before I burned out again.

But nonetheless, I do think my criticisms of how downtime is handled (or more accurately, not handled) in Ward are justified. In Worm, the amount of downtime roughly decreases every arc, but that's to be expected, because the story is picking up pace. In Pact, there's very little downtime because that's what kind of book it is; it's short and blisteringly fast paced, likely under the assumption that it can move on to a new plot point and then end before the audience burns out. In Twig, the downtime stays almost as low as in Pact, and that's almost justified by the "mission" based story structure. In Ward, I really can't think of a storytelling reason there's as little downtime as it is. It feels like what was the result of specific story needs in earlier novels has just . . . Settled in, and become the new normal by the time we hit Ward, regardless of whether it suits the story it's attached to. Ward is a slog for me. It's certainly got more downtime than Pact, but where Pact is short, Ward was the longest thing Wildbow had written at the time, and the pace moves at a crawl rather than Pact's blisteringly fast pace. There's a lot more I could say about Ward, I love it, but personally I don't know that it works for me on any level, really. But that's a topic for another post, maybe.

I'm still not caught up on it, so my commentary here is more tentative, but Pale, in stark contrast to Ward, which I felt was perhaps the least good thing Wildbow had written overall, is perhaps the best webnovel he's written overall. Certainly the best since Worm. I'm not sure it's as easy a sell as Worm, and the problem of ludicrously bloated fights remains, but in a big way it's a return to form, being the first time since Worm Wildbow's had a teenager as a main character (Twig is several kinds of complicated in that regard), and the first time since then that our main character has really had to juggle a double life. It's also breaking new ground for Wildbow, featuring three main characters. Wildbow hasn't really fixed the downtime and pacing problems of his previous works per se, and I still feel like the story starts abruptly and obnoxiously late into the timeline, but the whole "double life" deal forces the story to focus on the human element that's been mostly ignored since early Worm, and the "three main characters" schtick equally forces a focus on the relationship between those three even in the more tense and "plot driven" sections of the book in ways unlike anything else he's written.

#Wildbow #worm web serial #pact web serial #twig web serial #ward web serial #pale web serial

[fayeandknight]

I'm so massively proud of Forte!

He handled the Ren Faire really well, despite it being a far more chaotic environment than he usually works in. We spent the first twenty minutes just getting comfortable and I had him do a practice run of find my car.

We passed another team on the trail up to the entrance, both dogs looked at each and then moved on. I know there were handful of other teams there as well but didn't notice them.

Also had a little kid full on grab Forte's rear and all he did was sit down and look at me. Parent apologized and picked up the kid so I didn't say anything.

Inside the faire he did get startled by the big swinging dragon ride but immediately recovered. Other than that, nothing bothered him. Not the banging from some hammer game, crowds cheering, or the many many people who talked to him. He navigated through the crowds nicely with only the occasional verbal reminder to stay close. I normally don't mind if he walks with his shoulders ahead of me but it was too busy for that.

I had hoped the rain would make it a little less crowded but alas, my fellow nerds were out in full force if the costume to street clothes ratio was any indication. On the upside, it was fun to see so many awesome get ups.

I'm proud of both of us for not getting bothered by near constant attention. If I got a dollar for every direwolf comment, it would have paid for my ticket lol. A few staff politely asked about his breed, which I don't mind at all.

My favorite comment was from someone who saw the front of his harness and said "In training hero in time, that's cute" and then saw his vest and very excitedly turned to their friend and exclaimed "oh that's so clever, hero in time because Zelda!" If I were less awkward, I'd have stopped to talk to them because they are clearly my kind of people.

Forte did his head in my lap/body pressed against my legs substitute for DPT after alerting and I found a bench to sit on. It helped but wasn't as good as the real thing but at that point he was pretty muddy and I didn't want him in my lap. (Sorry buddy)

I browsed a few shops but didn't go to any shows because this was more for training purposes than actually attending for fun. Next time we go though I plan to at least catch the Washing Women show because it's my favorite.

After a bit over two hours the rain picked up and I could feel my brain getting static-y. So I picked up his pull strap and gave him the forward cue as I attempted to navigated us to the exit. He did such an amazing job with fmp despite moving against the main flow of the crowd. And once we exited the faire I told him to find the car.

Y'all this is where Forte impressed me the most. He led me through the preferred parking lot, through the trail in the woods, and successfully found my car in the giant field/general parking area.

He exceeded my expectations and I'm so proud of him. He really is my knight in fluffy armor.

#dogblr #forte #belgian tervuren #service dog in training #psychiatric service dog #sdit #renaissance festival #ren faire #he was so good #he's a good egg #i love going to the faire and I'm so excited to get to enjoy it again #also shout out to the parent who told their kid #see how his tail is wagging? #that's because he loves his job #i just 😭😭😭😭 #the way they gently educated their was so gentle and sweet

[kariachi]

Okay, some more dragonkin size stuff because if I ever did firelizards I can't remember and can't find it.

To go back over the basics I've worked out in other posts with the addition of the canon wingspans of dragons- because I haven't included them anywhere but want to get them for the firelizards-

In general we determined that the length difference between the ranks of dragonkin (assuming they stay consistent scross the species) to be as follows:

Greens are 81% the length of Blues

Blues are 84% the length of Browns

Browns are 89% the length of Bronzes

Bronzes are 91% the length of Golds

Dragons we determined have a height:length ratio of 1:2.4. Going off of DLG the length:wingspan ratio is approximately 1:1.66. Based on this we get the following as our average sizes for the dragons.

Greens: Height- 9.3 ft ; Length- 22.5 ft ; Wingspan- 37.4 ft

Blues: Height- 11.4 ft ; Length- 27.5 ft ; Wingspan- 45.7 ft

Browns: Height- 13.5 ft ; Length- 32.5 ft ; Wingspan- 54 ft

Bronzes: Height- 15.2 ft ; Length- 36.5 ft ; Wingspan- 60.6 ft

Golds: Height- 16.6 ft ; Length- 40 ft ; Wingspan- 66.4 ft

Fun Fact: Ramoth's wingspan here would be closer to 75 ft from wingtip to wingtip.

The whers, meanwhile, we're given a canon height:length ratio of 1:3.25. We aren't, to my knowledge, given a wingspan ratio or anything to really base one off of- though if anybody has said information and a source I can find and look at, please send it my way so I can include that information. As is, the numbers we have- assuming gold whers share shoulder height with brown dragons (as Todd states that they are the same size but differing ratios require that to be along one measurement or the other and this one won my poll)- are as follows.

Greens: Height- 7.4 ft ; Length- 24.1 ft

Blues: Height- 9.1 ft ; Length- 29.7 ft

Browns: Height- 10.8 ft ; Length- 35.4 ft

Bronzes: Height- 12.2 ft ; Length- 39.8 ft

Golds: Height- 13.5 ft ; Length- 43.8 ft

So, with that out of the way, where do we start with firelizards?

We actually do get a length for the fuckers! We do- not a specific number, but a length. We get golds described as arms length multiple times, and the DLG backs this up with the claim that an adult firelizard is, from nose to fork, the length of a grown woman's arm. I do actually have access to numbers for this (check this out, it's so handy for so much more shit than you would expect). Using the mean grip reach, and settling for somewhere between the standard and the extended reach, we get about 28 inches, or 2.3 ft.

Now, from here we have to make some assumptions- namely we're going to assume that firelizards maintain similar ratios as dragons. This isn't perfect of course, but we've only got so much to work with because, well *gestures at the books*. We can also assume that firelizards share the same inter-rank sizing as their descendant species, given that while I can't remember if they were specifically stated to do so, fandom seems to generally back the concept and the dragons and whers had to get it from somewhere.

So, based on these, we get the following averages-

Greens: Height- 6.4 in ; Length- 1.3 ft ; Wingspan- 2.1 ft

Blues: Height- 7.9 in ; Length- 1.6 ft ; Wingspan- 2.6 ft

Browns: Height- 9.5 in ; Length- 1.9 ft ; Wingspan- 3.1 ft

Bronzes: Height- 10.6 in ; Length- 2.1 ft ; Wingspan- 3.5 ft

Golds: Height- 11.7 in ; Length- 2.3 ft ; Wingspan- 3.9 ft

And there we go! What should be the end of my dragonkin size math! Technically weights could be estimated as well, but I've tried that and trust me you guys don't wanna go down that path.

Just kick back, relax, and if you wanna play around with this shit have at and have fun!

#pern analysis #dragonriders of pern #tl;dr: fuckers are about housecat to lower-medium dog sized depending on rank #with wingspans ranging from '2 foot' to '7-year-old'

[zhalfirin-binds]

Making paper backed cloth for bookbinding

I tried my hand recently on making my own book cloth, not because I can’t get any, but because there are so many fun patterns and colours around. To be honest, I expect bought book cloth to be superior for all the ways it’s finished to be more resilient towards dirt and and such, but that doesn’t say self made cloth is bad at all! There are different ways to achieve a paper backing, I went for the backing with paper and starch paste because a) if I mess up I can always do it over no harm done, no material lost b) I have my doubts about the durabilty of heat activated glues and their durability c) using paste is just so much cheaper

So first up was cooking starch paste. I don’t have a ratio for that. I put a spoon of starch into a pot, add some water to get rid of any lumps and let it soak a few minutes (usually just long enough to get some water boiling), then I slowly pour over the boiling water while stirring the starch and at some point it turns from white to translucent and lumpy and I stop when there’s a certain thickness. When the paste has cooled it press it through a mesh and add some more water as needed. (It’s usually rather thick at that point.)

(and yes, my mesh is a nylon sock. I don’t own a fancy horeshair sieve and this stores much easier) Then I prepared my cloth and the paper I was going to use for backing. The final sheets have the warp and the grain direction run parallel for better usage and less warping (at least that’s the theory, I have yet to use that selfmade cloth to find out). The limiting factor here was the width of the web of tissue paper I used. Because I also need the paper to be 2,5cm -5cm larger than the piece of fabric in order to get a smooth sheet of book cloth. Having around 5cm for an edge makes it far easier to get the paper on the cloth even if there is a little skew.

I moistened the pre-washed, but un-ironed fabric (I have some cotton and synthetic fabric, none of them are elastic) and smoothed it down to a flat surface that won’t be needed for a couple of hours (preferably over night). Glas would be best but I didn’t have that, so I picked two work benches for that. I used plenty of water, which was a good thing, I’d say because even when smoothed down, a bit more water made the synthetic fabric wrinkly again. 

I sprayed the later front side, turned the cloth around and sprayed the backside. Brushed the water in with a clean brush until the fabric clung smooth to the surface.

Then I spread the paste on the paper and put it on top of the backside of the fabric, brushed down the paper on top of the cloth with a clean and dry brush to get rid of any airbubbles. Starting in the middle of the fabric and brushing along the long side to the sides to push out the air. Then I gave it a brush down along the short side too. (the slightly brighter stretches of paper on the left are where the air is still caught under the paper, on the right is the paper all smoothed down)

Sometimes I had to lift the edfe of the paper carefully to let out some air or get rid of a too large wrinkle that was building up in the paper.

I weighed the cloth and paper down with blotting paper and blotting board as well as some wooden boards, but only to make them dry faster. In consideration of the table surface I cut only one corner loose after the coth had dried and loosened the rest by running a very flat bone folder all around the edges.

I had great success with the cotton fabric. only minimal bleed through of paste at the edges and a slight smudge in the middle of one sheet.

the synthetic fiber...   not so much. While others before that one had taken well to the paste, the one with those shades of blue and purple did not. it was a mess to smooth down and apparently not smooth enough. when I pried it loose it was all bubbly and a lot of fabric was not adhered to the paper backing.

I scrapped that one, I pulled the paper off, washed it out again and this time pressed it while drying, so it would be smooth before the next attempt.

Cleaning up the surface was easy by the way. It was all plastered with dried starch paste, but I simply sprayed it with water, let it sit for a bit and wiped it off. No scrubbing needed at all.

#bookbinding #paper backed cloth #book cloth #making starch paste #cotton cloth #synthetic fiber cloth #again this has gotten more lengthy than I anticipated...

[yellowymellon]

He looks at you with a smile, his cold voice echoes, you are Abt to lose the 50/50 on his banner :

i first need to talk abt sunday's jp va CUZ GOD DAMN

since sunday talks more in 2.1 it's much more noticable, his first 3 lines or so are extra friendly and gentle, sweeter than his customer service voice, and then slowly start to become more apathetic till he uses the harmony powers and it becomes ruthlessly cold, and at the end when aven started losing it his voice returned to being drippy sweet, like he's mocking him. then when he meets acheron and welt his voice is pretty back to his real tone, apathy! thanks hoyo im someone who's heavily attracted to voices you just had to awaken my unhealthy obsessions again!

(btw i play in jp so im talking abt it, i by no means think jp is the elite dub)

okay but i love this scene SM

aventurine was confident abt his advantage over sunday, he first comes strong trying to overpower him in their silly mind game, basically asserting his dominance by telling him how anxious and antsy he is, and how he already knows everything sunday is thinking abt, leaving sunday unable to impose much demands. it was a good deal for aven, he gets to corner and benefit sunday at the same time.

that was until sunday channeled the harmony's power ( i think everyone guessed it he should be an emenator), it might've been a bluff that not answering has consequences, but it was far too risky to actually try, it was that instant of doubt and fear that threw all of aven's momentum and the dynamic shifted, he not only understimated sunday but didnt expect him to carry xipe's will.

i think it's telling of sunday's character when he uses exact seconds to tell time, that is 1.8 minutes not even a full 2

i think it's also a bit weird how sunday keeps talking as if he is a conveying xipe's will when he is mostly doing stuff on his own, it's almost like xipe's will aligns with him not the other way around.

unrelated but this question was at first too random that i double looked at sunday "what ? are you also racist??"

tho i do like how these characters are realistic with their insults, sparkle judged aven based on his race and the both of them made fun of sunday based on that too xD

do you actually think that sunday could see the truth in aven's heart but he himself couldn't answer it? this time around sunday adds "truly" and thought aven's response was interesting the first time.

actually i'm less mad abt dr ratio betraying aven since he shouldnt have known sunday has this power or was going to well, execute him, but more mad abt his every micro aggression like, have you not heard of rhetorical questions?? jokes?? silly banter that alludes to nothing?? LEAVE him alone

i think that even if dr ratio didnt sell aven out, sunday still had his ability to expose lies and he didnt trust aven in either case, also something worth remembering ( when i finish the story that is) is that in his deal with dr ratio sunday mentioned "the" stellaron and not just in general, the family is very much aware of it, well....it makes sense for stellaron hunters to be here ig 😭

Fun fact : the one who was supposed to be in penacony was opal not aventurine, and the thing we know Abt opal is that, um, well he was going to threaten the family then strike, no negotiations no nothing, wonder how that would've went...

#yall i'm unwell #you don't understand how much screenshots of Sunday i currently have it's... it's illness #I've replayed that like 3 times i'm no good #oh and i didn't appreciate the aventurine real life simulator i had a bad headache while he had one too #okay but i felt bad for aven I don't like him but #i can sympathize with being robbed of a childhood #it's incredibly sad for someone to lose their Innocence and be thrown in a life where they had to forcefully change #star rail #hsr

[shivunin]

✨Self-Rec Tag Game ✨

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made. I’ve put categories below, but they’re more guidelines than rules.  1. Something you absolutely adore 2. Something that was challenging to create 3. Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably)  4. Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) 5. Something you want other people to see

@gaysebastianvael and @dungeons-and-dragon-age tagged me back to do this; thank you both! c:

Tidal Lock (T, 20k words, Cullavellan): This fic is the first finished thing I posted to AO3. It's a pretty different style from the other things I've written, but it's my comfort read for myself. I love stories that loop in on themselves, so have a big ol soft spot for it c: Writing Cullen as a kid was so fun and I fully intend to do it again sometime.

My Fenris scarf. My hands are a bit shaky, so I have a hard time drawing things. Unfortunately, I needed to draw the lyrium brand design straight onto the yarn (not a great surface for drawing things, btw) before I could embroider them into it with the glow-in-the-dark yarn. It turned out really well, but just putting the design down with chalk paint took at least three hours (only a little less than doing all of the embroidery)

3. Ohhh man, I'm having trouble deciding! Here are three options:

This ficlet about Elowen and Cullen after they almost kiss. They are both such an absolute mess, this conversation is even messier, and every time I think about it I get the giggles c:

This ficlet about Hawke producing most of a deck of cards from her and Fenris's person after a night at the Hanged Man (I just...think it's funny to imagine her sticking them into his belt during a card game and Fenris fully knows, but pretends he doesn't. for the bit)

This fic on AO3 (explicit) with Arianwen and Zevran; specifically the part after the smut things are done, when they're dusting each other off and lightly arguing about their little competition. They're just...such dorks sometimes.

4. Search Your Hands (E, 13,581 words), easy. I actually had this most of the way finished six months before I finished it, but I was convinced it was too silly to post (and thankfully @star--nymph convinced me that it was worth finishing <3).

One of my favorite things about writing Cullavellan is exploring the funky little miscommunications that happen with you're in a multicultural relationship and this fic was inspired by that. There's just a mismatch between Cullen (who, having very few personal possessions, is almost certainly inexperienced at receiving gifts) and a cultural tradition involving gift-giving as an expression of Serious Romantic Intent. I did not expect it to be as well-loved as it is, but it has (by a dramatic margin) the highest kudos to bookmarks ratio of all my stories (at ~1/3) and is like...the fifth most-kudo'd thing I have on AO3, which is wild for a one-shot with minimal smut.

5. Wander the Drifting Roads!! (M, 108,331 words)

It is the fic I am most proud of (though I think Palimpsest might be my number two at the moment) and it's also, indirectly, the reason I wound up actually deciding to participate in the Dragon Age fandom. I wouldn't have most of my fandom friends without Wander, so just that would be enough for me to want to share it.

Friendship aside, though, I think it's some of my best writing. Cullen is exposed to red lyrium and loses his memory in between the main game and Trespasser. His Lavellan (Emmaera) has to figure out how to carry on without him as Commander or her lover and they take a very long road back to each other again. If you're okay with some angst before a happy ending (or if you're really into yearning), I think it's a great exploration of what makes someone who they are: is it a formal title or role? is it memory? is it the circumstances they've overcome to get where they are? or is it something less easily-defined than that?

Writing Wander was very challenging (especially towards the end) but so rewarding and worth it. When I want to feel that very particular sort of hurt you get from a sad fic (the kind that twists in your heart), I open up Wander again and put myself through chapter 7.

(I want to stress that it does have a happy ending lol, and a whole anthology of sweet domestic things to follow it up, but I think most people hang onto the hurt part of the hurt/comfort in Wander lol)

I tried to tag most of my mutuals when I made the original post, but: @daggerbean I'd love to see what you've made! and anyone else who wants a reason to show off your fanstuff is welcome to join in c: Tag me so I can see!

#can you tell i am a numbers enthusiast? in the sense that i like tracking and analyzing them #not so much the like. clout or w/e is supposed to come with the Right Numbers #if i missed you in the first one i am so sorry!! i tried to get everyone and it was not on purpose #tag game #self-rec tag game #shivunin scrivening #read wander and tell me what you think!! i really really love it

[anhed-nia]

I have way too much shit to do over the next few days starting tonight, so yesterday I decided to stay on the couch and have cramps and vegetate and watch all the lady movies I've been sleeping on.

EILEEN is pretty much what I expected, it's good but not great and a little pretentious, but the character study with Thomasin McKenzie is really cool. Or maybe I just thought that because she reminded me so much of a close friend of mine that I just decided the movie was about my friend and it was more fun that way.

THE ASSISTANT was also about what I expected, good but not great and sort of predictable--although I like how it plays like a thriller even though what's happening is sadly mundane and unsurprising. That approach works pretty well for this movie.

THE SOUVENIR is not a masterpiece but very strong, and disturbing. One critic called it a type of horror film. Years ago I was in a version of the awful relationship at the heart of this movie, and although that guy didn't have the excuse of [SPOILER REDACTED], all of his behavior and its effects on me were basically the same. It could have literally been him on the screen. My viewing experience was pretty tainted by unpleasant, shameful flashbacks and although I'm confident in saying it's a good movie, it's hard for me to imagine what it's like to watch it if you don't connect it directly to your own biography. I'll just never know what it's like as a pure work of art.

The funny thing about THE SOUVENIR is that it has this weird Rotten Tomatoes ratio were the audience score is really low, I wonder what that's about. Maybe it's just one of those things where general audiences are more resistant to being Very Bummed Out than film critics and aficionados. Or maybe it's that dumb thing where audiences find the choices of the victimized protagonist too hard to relate to because of the media they've been trained on. I often notice this in discussions about horror movies where the characters are motivated by fear, hysteria, dissociation, incomprehension, and other totally normal responses to extreme experience, and shallow unimaginative viewers go "UGH why did she do THAT, THAT'S not what I WOULD DO," and not only is it exactly what they would do in an incomprehensible situation, but their basis of comparison is not even "rational behavior"; their basis of comparison is the behavior you see in THE BOURNE IDENTITY or something where the hero does everything perfectly all the time and because certain viewers are strongly pursuaded by inhuman perfection, they think that's the standard everyone should be meeting, that's what they think is "realistic". It's stupid and ignorant and egotistical, and it's actually part of my secret criteria for who I can and cannot be friends with.

But anyway that's kind of what THE SOUVENIR PART II is about, which has high ratings for both critics and audience. It is a better movie, to some degree, but it was extra fascinating to me because as the protagonist uses her senior film school project to do a post mortem on her awful relationship, she is confronted with the fact that nobody quite gets what the story is about because none of her cast or crew have been in her shoes and they find the whole thing unconvincing. They don't get why the heroine subjects herself to abuse, or how to humanize the guy who seems like a total monster. You know, why is she so weak, he's "obviously" bad, what is the logic of this situation? All this black and white, judgmental thinking from people who are lucky enough not to have had to live through such a thing. The truth is that the abusive relationships are sort of absurdist in nature, they don't play by the normal rules, even the laws of time and space bend around this black hole you're being sucked into, which the heroine finds out as she's trying to put scenes in order. Strong stuff.

THE SOUVENIR PART II reminded me of this great rant Joe Bob Briggs has about "strong female protagonists" that basically amounts to the idea that characters should be whoever they need to be to serve the story. They're not exemplars of some ideal state of existence for us all to emulate--I mean unless they are, but that's under fairly specific conditions. His example is always Laurie Strode, who is typically upheld as a Strong Female Protagonist even though she doesn't become that thing until years down the road; in the meantime, she is a completely normal person with anxieties and phobias and insecurities and perfectly rational responses to Michael Myers. And that's what makes her so relatable, not her perfection, but her humanity.

[EDIT: Pardon me if the tone of this is a little alien to this blog. I don't even know if it definitely is, or if anyone cares, but I couldn't figure out where to put this post because I don't post much autobiographical material here anymore and I try to make the content of this blog reasonably appropriate for colleagues to see in both tone and content (like this feels both too intimate and too casual to me). But, I also try to keep all my movie information over here, so this is what I picked. I'm sure this doesn't bother anyone but me, but I have to justify my own rule-breaking to myself in order to feel better, so there.]

[thefloatingstone]

Do you think anime today are made with too many safety nets? Like gone are the days where something experimental or risky (risky in terms of something not seen before)

Yes but I think it's also a ratio thing.

In the entirety of the 80s, 256 were released. In 2022 ALONE 106 anime were released. There is a VAST amount more anime released today, and as a result, a good majority of it is extremely "safe" from a business point of view.

However I think the biggest culprit for this is simply one of money. 1980s Japan was going through an INSANE economic boom. On top of this, the "Straight to VHS" market hit the scene in 1983, which enabled anime to be able to show things which were technically illegal for Japanese broadcasting. Because straight to video anime were not technically broadcasted. This is why OVA from this time period tend to be as hyper-violent and sexual as they are. It was the first time anime actually had the medium in which it could show those things and this new freedom had many anime studios go to an extreme just to explore these new possibilities.

These days, anime animators are paid less than what's considered the legal minimum wage in Japan. But because anime is such a huge profit for Japan, the Japanese government overlooks the breaking of worker's rights. Animators in japan have not had a wage increase since the late 90s, and many of the artists who work on animation make about $400 to $500 a month. While also being expected to live in Tokyo (one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in) and essentially work 24/7 to make deadline. It's reaching a point where, because the people funding anime do NOT want to spend more money but their animators are actively dying from being overworked, have started outsourcing the animation part of anime to overseas studios like the Philippines because they don't have to pay as much. Or their NEW fun little tactic which is to hire amatuer animators off twitter from young kids who REALLY want to work in anime as their dream who are easier to exploit and misuse because they are young, inexperienced, passionate and naive. WATCH OUT FOR THIS. It's becoming more common.

Most larger anime shows also know their main money won't come from broadcast or even blu-ray sales (although Blu-ray sales are EXTREMELY important as far as an anime's success goes) the REAL money comes from merchandise sales or a push of sales in gacha games that are tied to the anime in question. Basically the way Pokemon works at this point. Where the games only exist to justify the existence of merchandise.

So the producers of anime want shows that they know will translate well into merchandise sales. The big merchandise target which these companies like tend to be men aged 18 - 25 who don't yet have families of their own. Because they tend to have a lot more disposable income. However, as things have changed and shows like Sailor Moon have proven, women are also willing to spend large amounts of money on merch. But due to the social structure of Japan, statistically women are less likely to spend the same amount of money because society pressures them more to work towards starting families and focusing their money on building households. (something Japan itself puts extreme pressure on especially with their declining birthrate but even before this just through their traditional family values).

This is why if you compare the amount of shoujo and Josei anime that come out per year versus the amount of Shounen and Seinen anime, it's not even CLOSE in numbers. And what shows MIGHT appeal to women just as men tend to still have cute girls in them to push figurine sales.

It's created an extremely hostile environment where artists simply do not have the means to actually be creative because they are being bled dry for no money.

BUT, because of the sheer number of anime that release per year, it IS more likely to have hidden gems come out made by people who genuinely have a great passion for what they make. It's just that before these would be the anime that outshines everybody else, but because there is just SO MUCH shovelware anime, it can be a little harder to see in the crowd of 5000 isekai and gacha anime.

The industry is not in a great place right now in terms of a creative environment. But it doesn't mean quality isn't there. It's just the quality anime won't be the "biggest" anime of the season or the most talked about or the one you see the most merch for.

Except for Mob Psycho 100. MP100 is GENUINELY one of the best anime to come out in the last 10 years. It uses experimental mixed media in its animation, the animation itself is top tier, and its story and characters are extremely unique for the anime medium.

ALSO! there is an anime coming out for one of my favourite current running manga "Kaiju No. 8". Monster Number 8 is part of a new breed of manga that's part of a branch of Shounen Jump called "Jump+". Shounen Jump has for DECADES demanded its manga writers provide a chapter PER WEEK for publishing. Similarly to anime, this bleeds manga artists dry and leaves them often with debilitating health conditions due to overwork (I have a manga by Satoshi Kon where he talks about getting Jaundice while making the comic due to overwork).

Jump+ on the otherhand works differently. The manga do NOT update per week but have larger gaps between updates with short breaks sometimes by the artists.

AND GUESS WHAT???

IT MEANS THE QUALITY OF THE MANGA HAVE GONE UP!

WHAT A SHOCK!

Anyway apparently Kaiju No. 8 is getting an anime adaptation and I am extremely excited.

(He's upset because he pissed through his nipples on the street)

Seriously tho. Kaiju No. 8 is about a 30 something year old dude who works as "monster clean up" which is basically the guys who have to mop up the guts of whatever Kaiju the heroes blew up that week.

until he accidentally becomes exposed to something which gives him the ability to shapeshift into a monster. He reapplies to the Kaiju-fighting division being one year under the cut-off age, an entrance exam he has failed multiple times in the past, but gets in this time (but barely iirc. It's been a while since I read the beginning. (of course if the defense division ever sees him in his monster form they will kill him which is probably not the smartest career move but I mean WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?)

AND THEN THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP HAPPENS.

Where his hero buddies who find out he is also a kaiju have to help him BOTH fight the monsters attacking the city while ALSO keeping his powers a secret from the OTHER officers in the division. Specifically his best friend who then pushes himself to be BETTER at the defense thing specifically so his friend (who's named Kafka by the way because of course) won't transform to protect him and potentially get himself killed by the defense division.

It's so good. Please... I am weak for power of friendship stories....

Everybody protects each other and care about each other so much...

I just hope the anime can get something good out, because already from the sneak peaks we've seen, the quality seems to be the same level of mid most major anime have these days. But hey. At least it's not CG.

#C-Puff answers #long post

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I’ve not really spoken much further about the fact that I’d decided to try literally every non-sequel anime this season, but I have been keeping up with that since the last post I made where I’d dropped like 9 shows all in a row. Almost everything I’ve tried I’ve pretty much went into expecting to drop, and true enough the shows I expected to pass on I did not enjoy and dropped them. Arknights, I expected much of the same. Another show I wasn’t interested in - a gacha game adaptation no less. I was gonna sit through the first episode, find it shit, and drop. That was the plan.

But then it was like really fucking good? Like, I’ve not played Arknights, I don’t really know anything about it, and truthfully I have the tag blacklisted because I follow someone that posts about it a lot and I kinda don’t care. But even then I found myself really invested in this first episode dude. More than anything it’s all in the show’s feel - the cinemascope aspect ratio, intense use of focus, film grain over everything and lots of extreme close-ups create a really strong and distinctive feeling I frankly wasn’t expecting whatsoever from this, and which I really ended up loving. There’s some really great fear shots in particular which I was a massive fan of.

You can fuckin feel the fear in their eyes dude! It’s terrifying.

And then even in terms of story I was having a good time. As a secondary I wasn’t immediately following things obviously, and the story structure made me think for a moment that we were a government organisation suppressing “terrorists” as it were which had me a little worried, but no turns out we’re a ragtag (actually they’re quite well put together) third group in the middle of it all that have the same disease as the terror group anyway and unlike them we’re not mindlessly slaughtering innocent children and shit. I don’t make a point to think too hard about the politics of any given show, we’re not on the government’s side in this show so that’s good enough for me lol. But no it’s a fun setup, and I think the few characters we get to know about in this episode make a really striking first impression. Even all the like obvious gacha tropes like hypercompetent MC to project onto that main female character loves for some reason and also the fact that the dude just gets a phone like how you can download Arknights on your phone right now - it’s like actually fun and cool and doesn’t detract from the experience whatsoever and while I don’t know what to expect from Doctor in the long run I’d say he’s more than justified to exist as he does in this first episode.

So yeah I mean. Really just a shockingly strong first episode that turned into a surprising addition to my Fall 2022 watching list. Looking forward to more. If I like what I see enough I might even just download Arknights too because tower defence games are pretty fun. ggs.

#arknights #28.10.22

[retphienix]

You know, they weren't kidding on the random gamefaq thread.

Dragonlord is a huge pushover compared to the color orb quest boss.

Kinda wish I could easily just go rematch that guy with this team instead since it'd be a more fitting send off, but hey, there's still some very real appeal to this being the closing chapter in my Caravan Heart playthrough :)

The Dragonlord is like The guy for DQ, so it has that appeal for sure.

I do think it's funny how pathetic he is here when the color orb boss was properly scaled to be a real heavy hitter :P

I'd ALMOST go so far as to assume they realize they messed that up what with the entire preamble being that he's reawakening "too early"; Like in universe you can say that's why he's weak, but if I were to be sincere here I'd wager that's just meant to be meta meant to write off that he's here at all- not an explanation for his strength.

Though it could be Meta Meta and it was the devs saying "We didn't have enough time to rework the DL to be a challenge, our bads" but I really doubt that lol

Anywho, Caravan Hearts is Mid.

Early game is far too slow for no good reason.

Innovations on the formula often fail to positively impact the gameplay loop, instead slowing things down or being CONCEPTUALLY (caravan party) positive but PHYSICALLY lacking (no real options in main game, too much RNG to stay invested post game- not to mention their impact is lacking compared to the monsters themselves).

Base story game is overall "fine"- to me personally it was very "Basic RPG going through the motions" overall, it had some nice moments like collecting beautiful things being rather non-linear (aside from the ending) but overall it was "Here's your small sandbox, play in it then beat this tower/dungeon/boss to get to the next sandbox" which is Fine but it's also kind of the vibe I feel DQ usually presents itself as- and then surprises you by doing things Exceptionally well or by surprising you with a twist that beats your expectations- not here. It's JUST the paint by numbers RPG stuff.

Color quest is much more fun! It's also majorly flawed lol it feels designed from the bottom up to be a drawn out lengthy grind for max/min players in terms of mechanics (caravan members mostly) but gameplay wise it's thankfully not so harsh in what it demands of you, no "2 billion damage" boss fights or anything- even the final boss, while strong, is SUPER reasonable despite the mechanics of the post game implying "This is where you grind forever to get maxed stats and true recruits".

The color quest is way more fun than base game because the little dungeons are entertaining, the frequency of mini-bosses is a big plus on the gameplay, and you're pretty much just fighting nonstop. Mostly.

Because the main flaw of the color quest is the backtracking - it's just not fun or well handled. The quest does not burn you on it if you just want to win, but if you want to max stuff- oh buddy. You better get a true sage ASAP. But if you just want to win it's annoying but "fine", still the biggest flaw because you really do spend like 30% of your time in ports and then 70% having actual fun in dungeons, that's still not a great ratio.

Dragonlord was fun. EZPZ but I had fun- the dungeon has relatively fun fights in it and while it is actually VERY tiny if you go the right way, there are a couple wrong directions that trick you back to the entrance, it's simple and TINY but it's nice.

Beyond this there are from what I gather spirit fights for unique hearts and I can continue the color orbs forever I think. So if I was enjoying the grind for recruits (No thank you) I have endless content to smash into for stats I suppose. Kinda neat :)

Hmm. Already did more lengthy closing thoughts in prior posts.

Have a random thought instead:

Did you know that some people consider features being REMOVED from the prior releases to be a positive feature in this game?

Like they listed "Removed Personalities" as a POSITIVE feature in this game versus the prior two, because they emphasized "Having complete and direct control" as a positive- some people just don't get the appeal of the DWM personality + order passive combat system :P

Overall, I had fun. I don't know if I expressed that well in my random posts but I wasn't exactly keeping the most in-depth tabs on my playthrough so it probably slipped through the cracks.

The game is Not one I'd ever recommend since it doesn't fit my tastes on the formula- DWM and DWM 2 fucking rule and this is a GBA RPG I'll probably never touch again so go figure- but this was very neat, I guess is the word for it.

It was neat playing the black sheep of the series- one mostly known that way for its lack of a translation than for its quality- but one I'd wager probably deserves it on quality >:)

But it's neat!

It's different, it's trying to mash some mainline DQ ideas into the side series, it gave DQM an entirely new framing device- one "similar" (traveler gates and dressers are involved) but WAY different than the prior 2, and way different than Joker 1 (and probably the other Jokers). You're still from a different world, but it's not a watabou waraubou story- it's just- you go to the monster world and help out, also the monster world is DISTINCTLY the dragon quest world instead of being a weird dragon quest monsters island "world" with "Great" kingdoms duking it out and training in traveler gates-

This Is Different And That's Kinda Neat! :)

Not a fan or anything, but I don't hate it, it's neat :)

#Dragon Quest #Dragon Quest Monsters #Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart #DQM #DQ #RetPlays #Youtube

[ginnymoonbeam]

A couple months ago I decided to watch the whole HIStory series. I had already seen Trapped (more than once) and I watched Love in the Future as it aired, so I picked up the rest in order from series 1-4. Here's my teeny tiny review of each one, in order of least favorite to favorite.

A note: overall this series is drastically unconcerned with whether its relationships are "healthy" or "unproblematic." I'm not bothered by that, and in fact some of my favorites are... well, you'll see. Definitely recommend looking for content warnings before starting any of these - I'm also happy to answer questions about content as long as they're not "how could you enjoy media that features XYZ".

Onto the reviews! There will be a few spoilers, but only things I think viewers are genuinely better off knowing before they start.

HIStory 1: Stay Away From Me

Brief premise: after their parents' marriage, Feng He gets a new roommate in his stepbrother Cheng Qing, who's a big star. It's all too much for Feng He's fujoshi best friend to handle. I quite enjoy a good stepbrothers setup, but this one fell pretty flat, and I hated the fujoshi friend situation. Shipper characters are on thin ice for me in general, and this one was so intrusive that it ruined the other things I might have enjoyed. I did like the leads pretty well - I have a soft spot for bratty characters who are secretly under a lot of strain - but the relationship development was just so-so.

HIStory 5: Love in the Future

There were parts of this I really liked, mostly the side couple, but it was sooo tedious. It's this low on the list because the ratio of "minutes I enjoyed" to "minutes I resent giving away" is so abysmal... at least the H1 installments come in at barely over an hour each, so I don't feel like I wasted so much time on the ones I didn't like. This show is trying to do at least three different genres and doing none of them well. I don't even know how to sum up the premise... there's a guy who's gotten zapped 20 years into the future by mistake, but more of the show deals with business drama and eventual corporate espionage at the department store where the other main characters are centered. There's so much going on and none of it quite coheres. I'm too bored and annoyed to talk about it any more.

HIStory 1: Obsessed

This gets top out of the three I really didn't like, because it had the most id candy. And, again, because it's short. The setup is neat: a guy who's just gotten his heart broken gets zapped back into his younger self and tries, unsuccessfully, not to get with the same guy again. The love interest is just incredibly pushy and aggressive, sometimes in a way that's bad!hot and sometimes in a way that's just bad. I also hated the reveal at the end - there was no reason for him not to explain himself immediately instead of watching his lover's heart break, and I have no patience for that kind of thing.

Those were the three I didn't really like. Now we're going from liked to loved.

HIStory 1: My Hero

This one was a big surprise to me... I would have skipped it entirely if I wasn't on a completionist project, because the premise "girl dies, gets put into a boy's body, and has to try and win over her boyfriend" is incredibly unappealing to me. But they took it in a direction I wasn't expecting and I found myself having a great time. It couldn't have sustained itself for any longer, but with an under-90-minute runtime it's a fun little story.

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

Enjoyed this one a lot - I love a nanny romance in theory, but I'm picky about kids in media. This kid is both charming and realistically childlike, and one of the leads does plenty of yelling about the kid's initial bad home situation, so I don't have to. The basic setup is that Fei Shengzhe discovers that his professor's 8 year old daughter is being neglected, gets hired to take care of her, shakes his professor/boss into being responsible, and of course eventually falls in love.

I liked most of the relationship dynamics - when there's a big structural power differential, I like to see it balanced in-story by their personalities or other factors, and this show did that well, but there were still moments where I wanted to yell not at school! or transfer out of his class ftlog! Overall, still positive, and I'll probably rewatch it when I'm in the mood for some nicely layered domestic romance.

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

I am not a sports person but I loved these sports boys very much. A new transfer student gets strong-armed into joining the school's volleyball team, ends up pursuing the team's previous ace, who's permanently unable to play due to an injury.

Xia Yuhao thinks he's sooo bad until he discovers a burning need to be bossed around and I love that in a man. Qiu Zixuan won my heart immediately and kept it - he's so sensible and focused and stoic, and the moments where he struggles against the reality of his injury hit so hard in contrast. This one had me hooked from beginning to end. And the side couple is exactly what I mean when I say I enjoy a good stepbrothers setup - the established intimacy and tenderness juxtaposed with confusion and guilt makes a tasty tasty emotional cocktail.

The final three shows are why this post has been sitting in drafts for a couple weeks. I've been undecided on how to rank them, and I've been processing a ton of thoughts about the two new-to-me ones. I'll try to stay brief here, and keep my longer thoughts for possible future posts.

As for ranking - I simply can't. I love all three very much, so let's just say they sit together at the top spot.

HIStory 4: Close to You

I'm fascinated by stories that take some basic messy yaoi tropes and peel them back, really dig into the layers of what's going on and how they affect people, all while keeping it fun and horny. Love in the Air does that with consent (masterfully, as I will argue until I'm blue in the face), and Close to You does it with the boundaries of intimacy, the extent to which we're required to draw rigid lines around types of intimacy and what happens when those lines get smudged.

I do understand why a lot of people simply do not fuck with this show. There very much are multiple sexual assaults, including between one of the main pairs. And while the other stepbrother romances in this series do what they can to lean away from the incest angle, this one leans hard into it. A lot of the show operates on the level of farce - it's doing absolutely outrageous things with a straight face. If you can have a sense of humor about the things it's playing with, there are some sublimely funny moments. But I don't fault anyone for saying "nope, that's not for me."

Teng Muren and Xiao Licheng, the best-friends-to-lovers, are one of my favorite couples from the whole HIStory franchise, and the only thing better than their intricate and frenetic dance around each other was Ye Xingsi watching with his fond, weary, experienced-gay gaze. Also I am obsessed with the way people just come out and say shit in this story. Nobody keeps a secret for more than half an episode, even when they really probably should. Plots are so often driven by people not telling each other everything, and watching this one run instead on everyone telling each other way too much was fascinating.

HIStory 3: Trapped

I can't possibly rank this one in relation to the others because I watched it long ago and I've seen it several times. It's been high on my list of beloved BLs since I first watched. Meng Shaofei is one of my all-time favorites, he's so stubborn and loving and honest. I love how hard he and Tang Yi fight for each other once they get together. I love when guys get lost in the woods handcuffed together, I love Tang Yi's sexy bffs and weaponized makeouts, I love the angst and hurt/comfort and yelling crying fights between two people who love each other. I don't feel the need to say much more: it's the most popular of the series, and rightly so.

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

I think I watched MODC in the best possible way: knowing the ending, and in 2023 when there are so many good happy-ending BLs I can't possibly watch them all. Had I watched it when it aired and been hit with the ending out of the blue, I think I'd have been as devastated and lastingly bitter as a lot of people who did.

I really do think viewers are better going into this one spoiled, so in case you don't know: one of the leads dies abruptly at the end of the penultimate episode (not onscreen), and the final episode is the surviving partner processing grief many years later.

The presence of grief - past, future, or potential - grounds a love story for me like nothing else quite does. Without the ending, I would like MODC very very much but I wouldn't love it quite as fervently as I do. The final episode is complicated and difficult - we see Xiang Haoting at a moment when his grief over Yu Xigu is rearing up due to a time of transition in his life. We see him let go of some of the ways he's been coping in the past, we see him fall into a dangerously low state and then come back out of it, but we don't see him get over it and move on. That's because you don't get over some losses, you don't move on - they sit beside you for the rest of your life, and you learn how to be happy but never entirely how to not be sad.

The other thing I love most about MODC is how extremely Boys the boys are. The leads don't look the age they're supposed to be, but they act it. No other BL I've seen has done so well at capturing this type of teenage boy, bursting at the seams with hormones and the fiery need to DO things. They lose control and do the dumbest shit even though they know better, and they're also overwhelmingly thoughtful and caring just when you least expect it. The way Xiang Haoting sometimes just moves because his body can't be still; the way the whole friend group teases and derides but also rallies around each other with fierce devotion. Haoting's reaction when his friend comes out to him is perfect - a minute of teasing and incredulity, then an immediate pivot to "I've got your back."

The contrast between youthful, hopeful energy and adult experiences of pain and loss makes the key axis the whole show rotates around. The side couple has a big age gap, with high schooler Sun Boxiang pursuing Liu Zhigang, a wounded and weary gym hottie of about 30. Yu Xigu is the same age as Boxiang and Haoting, but he already knows grief. Haoting and Boxiang with their fearless optimism beat like waves against the walls of these sadder, warier love interests until they each decide to dare to try for happiness. In the one story, Haoting ends up inheriting his lover's sorrow, and it will take some other, future connection to get him to try for happiness again. In the other, Boxiang's persistence not only brings romantic happiness to Zhigang, but eventually heals another loss that Zhigang had given up on ever seeing restored.

There's a moment during his pursuit of Zhigang when Boxiang swears he'll love him forever, and Zhigang says no, you can't promise that, no one can. Which is always what I want to say to the BL schoolboys, because I too am older, wounded and weary. You can't promise forever, no matter how badly you want to. All you can do is love each other well for as long as you can, and know that life is long, and joy follows sorrow follows joy.

#history series #taiwanese bl #history 4: close to you #history 3: modc #bl drama