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manjiroscum · 2 years

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Hi Pat! How are you?

I wanted to get input from some of the reader insert writers on tumblr on something and I hope you can help.

So as a community that has fully adopted that trigger warnings are good and needed on writings that require them, I was wanting to know if you (as a writer) think it would be ok for me (the reader) to ask a writer to label a piece of theirs with a trigger warning of "fluff -> angst".

Let me give some context, I feel that it's kinda needed. So I'm the type of person who gets super invested in anything I read, especially reader insert since that's kind of the point. But sometimes its to my own detriment because I can ruminate on something for a long time that will affect me emotionally. Now while yes I fully agree that's my own personal issue and I need to police myself, I do. I refuse to read anything labeled "angst/pure angst/hurt no comfort", because I know emotionally it would affect me terribly. However, if it has fluff as a TW that typically alludes to angst being in the beginning or middle and fluff at the end, basically I will read angst so long as it has a happy ending; but I won't read pure angst for my own safety.

So I read a one-shot a few weeks ago with separate TW of fluff and angst and naturally assumed it was angst in the beginning and fluff at the end which is ok for me to read. But it wasn't, it was fluff in the beginning and angst at the end. As I said I read it weeks ago and I'm still hung up over it, and I know that if it was labeled "fluff -> angst" I wouldn't have read it. So I thought about asking the writer to relabel it because I doubt I'm the only person like this and it could be helpful for others but part of me also feels as if asking them is idk petty? Or I think the writer might be uncomfortable or feel attacked by my request. I just feel like asking for a relabel when they already have "angst" as a TW would be rude and labeling as "fluff -> angst" would reveal to readers the ending without having to read the whole thing.

So basically do you personally think it would be ok to request a writer to relabel a TW to read as "fluff -> angst"?

Hi anon! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

oooh and mhmm 🤔 if u ask me, especially in cases like yours, it would definitely be helpful to have the tags that may hint on such things. such a tags does exist after all in ao3 and i dont see why it shouldnt be integrated here when needed. it also helps if the angst degree is placed like would it be mild angst, just hints of it, or would it be heavy.

but the thing is, it usually depends on who is writing if they consider such content to be merely mild or heavy. cause it would def vary from person to person. one might see it would just be light angst, but for others it is def a big deal of some sorts. it'll def be a challenge, that i can say.

and now on the topic of asking the writer to place the tag. perhaps if you ask them nicely, im sure they will cater to your request. however, as u pointed out, the element of surprise might be compromised or the tag "angst" is already there, so that is indeed a hurdle in this endeavor. i guess it'll def be up to the writer to label it, because i've seen most write such stuff and say in the tags that there won't be a happy ending at all or it is an open end but leaning more onto a sad aspect of it.

in short i'm sure there won't be a harm in requesting, just ask nicely. plus i'm sure the author isn't aware or hasn't seen this side of the spectrum. it's no one's fault tho. even i myself have to ask a couple of people if i should put certain stuff in the tags because i'm unsure. i guess it'll be nice to help out one another, like consumer to the producer. like a feedback bc im sure there are readers like you out there who have experienced this too. but if the writer doesn't feel comfortable in doing so, then we should respect that.

i do hope i gave u a good answer 😭

#answers✨

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iamacolor · 2 years

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ah thank you for such a thorough and kind response! maybe i used the wrong words in my last ask, i was genuinely shocked at that anon for a second. i apologise if my confusion came across as something worse. i dont think you did anything wrong by deleting the post i guess it just threw me off that the normal response to knowing someone holds extremist views is to not interact with them at all and subsequently disregard any good thing they've said too. i mean imagine if we did that in real life, would we be able to talk to or appreciate anyone? but i understand your position on this and how you weighed it against others who have equally valuable (or even moreso) opinions who arent openly bigoted or whatever. and the fact that it can negatively affect your followers. it's otherwise just a complicated concept for me to wrap my own head around especially because cancel culture is so rampant on here and things can escalate quite often, even though you youself merely deleted a post (so the banning thing wasn't targeted at you, just at tumblr in general.)

I really understand how confusing it can be because who sets the limits? over how long? and I'm still debating it for myself but by now I just know there isn't a universal answer. honestly we just have to accept that it's often going to be a case by case thing. because it'll depend on what kind of subject we're talking or interacting about with someone who we consider as bigoted and also because what we consider as bigoted, as unacceptable (for ourselves and for the ones around us) will change many times through our lives, not necessarily go from white to black but the shades and lines will shift one way or the others and we'll put more importance on some than on others (if for exemple someone tells me: hey the op of a post you reblogged is criticising vegans it's not on the same level for me as someone being a terf and so I might just not even answer to that) and again I'm not sure why someone sends this kind of info wether it is to test the people they follow or to actually share info and I'm curious about how they got it themselves in the first place but since I can't control them I can only act upon my reaction especially because on here my blogging ends up on someone else's dash and can impact them so I do feel a sense of responsability in that (like how you might tag edits with trigger warnings). I don't consider that I deleted a post because of anon but because of op (once anon made me aware of op's behaviour) and I just know I'll never try to police someone else's blog this way and then well others do things their way and I might not interact if it bothers me

and no matter what the subject of the controversy is one of the thing we can do online is go check for ourselves first if it's true (which is much harder to do in real life, I can't go through someone's past tags and posts in real life like I can on their blog), a "XX once said this about such person" by an anon/a list of usernames to block with no explanation isn't enough if I can't find that information or proof of what happened (and even then we also know that it's easy online to create false narratives with false evidence it has happened enough time to celebrities to show how important it is to have an og source rather than just repeating what someone wrote/said (if we're talking about something that happened online since evidence for real life events usually can't be provided)) and if everyone did that it would probably avoid a lot of controversy blowing out of proportion or false rumours being spread etc the public "justice" of speaking about something enough to the point where the "accused" can't ignore it anymore and has to "answer" for it is obviously a double edged sword and it's either serving chaos or fairness depending on who's wielding it. inev debated with my brother once about that exact thing because he said it was too dangerous without regulation, that it was too easy to bring someone's reputation down online based on what a group of people thought was fair and that there should be more regulations because it's scary and yeah tbh it is but it's also allowed some people to speak up and make their voices heard and for real victims or crimes to be uncovered but it's still scary and I don't know where we should set the limit. a small exemple is that there have been several controversies over many kpop fandoms because of translators not translating things fully or doing so in a biased way to make a member seem bad or good over others and some non native speakers trustingly believing what was presented to them without necessarily checking what other translators had said of the matter and of course that's dangerous and could have serious repercussions on someone's career even if it's a small thing and we as individuals have to be aware that not everyone's trustworthy so it's always good to double check a fact on the other side recently I've really grown tired of jae from day6 because of things he's said about his band members and one of his friend on a stream - which there is evidence of - and although that doesn't mean I'm going to go and unlike all of the Day6 songs in my library or pretend like it's someone else singing I'm not following his solo stuffs anymore and I've clearly expressed that I don't approve of what he's doing and that I have no interest in him anymore and I'm not going to be sad if he never does anything withy Day6 again. and people talking about it brought awareness about his behaviour and he had to answer publicly for it (which I wouldn't say was well done by him anyway) and although that doesn't take away from how good his music and singing and playing was when he was in Day6 it also means that from now on we can decide if we want more of it, if we're going to stay silent etc and that showed him that there are consequences for his words (including on his irl relationship even if the things were said online). also to go back to the post that sparked your interrogation, on their blog op was openly criticising people who saw trans women as women so I feel like in return it's okay to do something openly too even if it isn't directly at her or on something else than what she's criticises for - like how you can show your disapproval of Israël for its treatment of the Palestinian people by boycotting its products without necessarily going on the ground to stop the soldiers

also I think it's important to recognise that someone being bigoted (especially on something as big as gender) can and probably will inform many other subjects you could talk about with them even if you didn't directly start talking about it. and so if you say oh but cutting them off for this one thing you'll probably be surprised to find that this one thing influences many of their other world views and you might not want to talk to them about anything afterwards. again the op of that post being a radical feminist meant she thought all men were evil and to be avoided (at least they reblogged content indicating so) which I don't agree with and if someone irl told me that I'd be like I don't care how interesting your takes onf costume design are I'm not cutting myself off from more than half of my family or walking around considering every man I meet as a future criminal and so sometimes it's better to stop things at the first sign

when it comes to irl interactions it's true that we can't check everyone's past on the spot (not that I think we should, I don't want to know everything my former teachers or my boss have thought or said in their lives) or cute ties with everyone. but if we do find out that they've done something that makes us uncomfortable/that we disagree with we can cut ties or not based on how important they are to us. and cutting ties doesn't mean you don't recognise that a person doesn't have room to grow but that they've crossed the lines you've set for yourself in terms of what you wnat in your life. I won't blame my lesbian friend for staying close to her family even if her upbringing makes her feel like being gay is a sin, there's no point in me saying "you should cut bigoted people out of your life entirely they don't bring anything else to life" because clearly she's put things in the balance and decided that she still wanted a relationship with her parents/grandparents even if they couldn't meet her all the way and so it would be insulting their love for each other (even if I don't think it's fair to her) and also it wouldn't give them room to grow and meet her closer. but on the other hand you can also just stop talking to people once you decide that whatever is between you and them and what they bring to you isn't worth it (and again your views can change overtime so what you accept one day you might not 2 years later) of course that's hard to do if it's your boss so it can also be that you decide that you won't interact with them more than necessary or on certain subjects if you can avoid it my mother's cousin believes in plenty of conspiracies theories (and I think he used to be far right leaning politically but now he's more like pff everyone's lying anyway) and we've had debates about it after which he's admitted he can't convince us but I'm not going to ask my mother and his sister and his parents and everyone to just cut ties with him and not see his kid or a member of their family they've grewn up with or put into the world, i just don't try to talk to him about anything else but his kids when we have a family gathering once a year. and I can do the same thing online by just interacting with someone's post without following them, by blocking tags or users, by deleting a few posts here and there, and just curating my own experience (and on one side there some people I follow who's views I don't share on many things/or even directly oppose but I'm still interested in what they actually have to say and on the other side I haven't checked the past of the all the blogs I follow so if anyone tried to police my following list I would get angry because that's a separate thing from my content) and advocating for what I believe and not being silenced if I'm debating or being questioned but also not necessarily going into spaces/conversations where I'll find people I know I won't agree with - I'm not interested and although I believe talking helps people change their minds and I've seen it happen, on many subjects I'm not the best person to do so or I don't have the time or expertise even if I wanted to. irl too I don't mind going to a march and I've done it a few times but I'm not the kind who'll go confront people at a march in support of ideals/values I oppose.

and tbh in real life you don't really chose who you meet and who you keep even if you have more control over the later. but I think things are also often more compartimented than online where your blog can be a mix of everything and you can have people talking about all sorts of thing one post after another (because irl you have your family, your close friends, your neighbours, your colleagues, your teachers... and there aren't that many people with whom you get to talk with about things that cross all these little boundaries - I don't talk with my neighbours about the same things I talk about with my colleague and same with my friends etc so I also just have to accept that there'll always be many parts of people I don't know and might never get access to (if only because we change overtime) and then if I do have access to something I don't agree with it's up to me to say do I leave? do I oppose it? have I tried before and it w'hasnt worked so I let it go? do I ignore it? do I always react the same way or adapt to the people and the context? and I think it's just something we'll have to continuously redefine (even if in small percentage) throughout our life. and I'll always correct my great-aunt on somethings or my father on some others but not always the same ways and they might correct me back anyway

I ended up writing so much that I'm honestly not sure what I started with lmao so if you've made it here I hope I made some sort of sense and didn't just lose it midway especially after I added an entire new paragraph

#anonymous #I've got mail

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starkniall · 7 years

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How long did it take you to write "but first we'll live" and how long do you think it'll take you to write the one you're currently writing right now? I'm curious because I love your writing and I want to get into writing myself so I wanna get an idea :)

gOd “but first we’ll live” was A Struggle, it’s the one i’ve struggled with the most out of all my fics, i started with it almost 2 years ago, but abandoned it like halfway through so it was just sitting there in my drafts for an entire year, so without counting that year i’d say it took me about six months tbh, it was the one that took me the most time, bc it was such a hard fic to write and idk why, maybe bc i was never 100% sure about the ending, and i had all of the boys in every scene to focus on and sometimes i wrote 2k of ot5 interaction and then read it over again and realized it was useless to the plot so i deleted it all again, it was SO HARD to write that one honestly ;-; im proud i finished it, but at the end i think i finished just to have peace of mind rather than bc i actually figured out how i wanted the entire plot to end so im still kind of frustrated about that one.....

im rambling lmao im so sorry!!! it didn’t use to take me that long to write fic tho, the oneshots usually take me a day, maybe a weekend if there’s a proper plot, i wrote some in about 3-4 hours and there were others that took me 3 days, it totally depends on my motivation/inspiration and at what time of the day i write lmao, if i can write in the middle of the night everything flows better for me. tho it’s always different, like, for “everything stays but it still changes” it took me about a month bc i wanted to do proper research about christmas traditions in ireland and i wanted to get it right, so when there’s research to be done it always always takes me more than a week at least.

and about the peter pan narry au im currently working on, well...let’s say it will take me another week at least to finish it, i think (i hope), it’s been going well, i’ve got 2k that i wrote in about 4 hours the night after i watched the movie (bc i have never seen it before), and those 2k have like, the basic scenes i want to write, i still need to read it over and add details to make it flow better, but being completely honest the last time i opened the doc was on the first week of january i think, bc i’ve been having a rough time with life lately, and i start uni tomorrow so i wont work on it again until next weekend, which is when i think i’ll have it proper finished.....i ramble too much im really really sorry omg....to give you a proper answer, this new fic has so far taken me about a week, if you sum up the days i spent on it when i got the prompt, and i hope to work on it this week too before uni gets hectic again, so i’d give it a guess of 2 weeks total for this one!

when it comes to things like these, when i had to actually watch the movie, or when i have to take days on proper research (like with “let me put you back together), it always takes me longer than a couple hours and it’s mostly bc i feel insecure about whether it is accurate or real enough, i doubt myself way too much and that makes it harder but also makes the feeling after posting them so much better, more worth it, i guess, i love writing, and im sad i dont do it as often as i used to, but it’s something i always enjoy and i hope you do too!!! writing is great, absolutely amazing, even if sometimes it takes longer than you expected, it’s always sooo very worth it at the end, tbh not even just at the end, sometimes you write a lil paragraph that makes u feel proud or you finally figure out the scene you felt was missing. it’s a wonderful process and i LOVE it all

#im really sorry about how long this reply is #i wish writing came as easily as rambling does #oh well #Anonymous

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