#also I'm dramatic as hell when I write I'm aware there's a reason I relate to Macaque so hard XD

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

So, I just??? Randomly just the motivation for this??? So enjoy more Tealstar stuff ig lol. Tried to do a lot here, not sure how well it worked for me. You can tell I got a little rundown at Tongbi's part, but I was still really determined to finish this, so. Here ya go.

   Chikao loved the storm.

   The smell of fresh rain and the swirl of dark clouds overhead lit up by flashes of lightning that split the sky in two and sent deep, booming thunder rippling over the land was something she could never get tired of.  Every lightning strike lit up her eyes, she could feel the vibration of thunder running deep within her bones, and the entire world was pulled just a little to the side by the chilling winds that whipped past.

   She was fond of the world after a storm, too.  The way the smell of rain lingered for a week afterwards, clouds drifted past so you could see sheets of rain coming down in the distance as they left, the sudden abundance of greens and the pinks and blues and yellows of plants as they sprouted up, the splashing of puddles gathered in random dips in the ground and squishing of deep brown mud as water sunk into the soil.  She loved that.  Loved everything about it.

   And the best part was that she could do it.  On a whim, whenever she wanted, she could summon the clouds and lightning and feel the very storm surging through her bones.  She could feel the world come alive in a way so, so different than it did in the shine of the sun.

   But, unfortunately, not everyone was so welcoming.

   And why weren’t they?  What was even the point of limiting her ability to create storms?  Why did she have to “register” a storm or whatever to create one?  It wasn’t like she was creating out-of-control tornados or setting forests on fire with lightning.  Most of the time, it was just a little rain to give the village crops a boost!

   But the Celestial Realm hadn’t seen it that way.  The first time Nezha had come down to meet her, he had called it “undermining the Jade Emperor’s authority” and “breaking the laws of the Celestial Realm” and “a matter to be taken seriously”.  But honestly?  How could she take someone that had come down to lecture her about why she couldn’t summon rain without paperwork seriously.

   And that was all it had been, for a while.  Something funny, eventually just a friend coming down to spar.  Barely an annoyance.  Not even a concern.

   And then Princess Iron Fan had joined him.  And they’d struggled over the winds of the storm, trying to turn them on each other to gain an advantage.  And then…

   Flash

   And then people had gotten hurt.

   And the Celestial Realm was angry.

   Stealing the Peaches of Immortality from their orchard?  That was probably just the cherry on top.

   But even when they’d come to arrest Chikao for her “crimes” (come on, they were peaches), they’d made a mistake to dare go after Tongbi.

   Chikao sighed quietly as she stared up at the endless night sky, the stars twinkling back at her like tiny diamonds against a sheet of inky paint.  It felt so close when the storm was swirling around it, the wind catching every little loose thing on the ground and throwing around every small hair out of place, but when the night was clear like this and she was laying on the ground beside Tongbi…it felt so, so far away.  She itched for it to be close again, to touch the clouds and feel their water in her hands. 

   She wondered if, in a world where Nezha had time, where Nezha could step away from his celestial duties and just relax for a moment, they could fly around through the clouds and throw water at each other.

   She didn’t live in that world.  She didn’t know.

   “Chikao?” Tongbi’s soft voice pulled Chikao out of her thoughts.

   “Yeah?” Chikao rolled onto her side to look at Tongbi, flattening the grass beneath her. 

   Tongbi’s eyes stayed on the sky as he spoke and his hands picked through the fur on his tail.  His voice was muffled by his dark green scarf as he buried his face into the fabric.  “You won’t let them t-t-take you from me, will you?”

   A small spark of anger flashed in her chest.  She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant it.  No Celestial Realm would change that.  “Of course not.  And I won’t let anyone hurt you, either.”

   Tongbi didn’t respond and Chikao rolled back onto her back with a soft sigh.  She didn’t want Tongbi to worry.  He shouldn’t have had to worry.  She dealt with Nezha and Iron Fan on her own fine, didn’t she?  And then even when more celestials had shown up, she’d dealt with it.  But Tongbi was still worried, and Chikao knew well by then that the only thing that was going to soothe his concern was time.

   Time, or get rid of the Celestial Realm’s meddling completely, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.

   At least, that’s what she thought, as the days went by and Tongbi slowly felt safe being outside of his library again.  As toddlers and children became teens and adults.  As people aged and grayed and passed.

   Until the Brotherhood reached out with a dream.  A dream of glory and ambition.  A dream of change and prosperity.  A dream of safety and comfort.  A dream of freedom.  A dream of storms.

   A dream of a day storms could freely brew in the days, and the skies would be theirs at night.

   A dream where the Celestial Realm wouldn’t meddle, Nezha could freely come and go, and Tongbi’s concerns would vanish.

   And Chikao took it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tongbi hated surprises.

   The unexpected whirlwind of emotions he wasn’t ready for, having to think on his feet and his mind going blank, only moments to make a decision and if it was the wrong one he was doomed.  The mounting pressure of what felt like a mountain behind his head and the crushing weight of do or die that he just couldn’t pull himself out of.

   And the aftermath was worse.  Because then there were a hundred different feelings all weighing him down like boulders, telling him there was some way to alleviate their weight but not giving him a single how-to.  Sometimes the boulders were hot and sometimes electric and sometimes just heavy, and those meant different things, but he didn’t know what they meant.  But apparently, knowing what they meant and how to sort them out was the very key to getting them under control sometimes, because otherwise every time he thought about the surprise he would trigger another rockslide.

   Physically, Tongbi didn’t mind rocks, boulders, or even mountains.  Feet on the ground, dig his heels in, take a deep breath and move.  He could move boulders, sort out rockslides, split entire mountainsides in two that way.  The boulders he could touch the rough or smooth surfaces of were lighter than the ones that crushed his heart and held him down in the corner with tears spilling onto blurry pages, but never had a texture.

   Fortunately, people were welcoming.

   It had been a strange change after the curious chirps of the monkeys that found him hiding away in caves on Flower Fruit Mountain, but a warm one.  Chikao helped lift the boulders off his chest, explain some of the feelings and help him separate them apart so he could think without folding into a mess of matted fur and heavy emotions. 

   The warm nights of staring up at the stars and pointing out constellations as Chikao worked through his fur were the best nights he’d ever known.  Spending days reading books about the sun aloud and telling Chikao about asteroids that flew by brought him a warmth he could never quite explain.  Even the flower pin he had, with teal and red petals, served as a small comfort when he was alone, to remind him that someone cared.

   Though he had been nervous at first, the village was nice too.  Adults were happy to trust him to read about the phenomenon of eclipses to children and watch meteor showers with them, and the kids were always fascinated by his words and eager to ask questions and learn more.  Even on days where he didn’t have books, several of them were ready to ask questions and listen to him ramble. 

   And even as they grew and had more chores and work to tend to, nobody minded when he sat on a bench and read the afternoon away.

   Tongbi hummed a tune as his eyes scanned across neat words, written with meticulous precision.  Dust kicked up into the air as the click clack of horseshoes went by, but Tongbi was fully absorbed, the rest of the world blurred as he imagined how it would feel to step on the moon.  Would he feel lighter?  Would it feel like stone on earth, or dust, or powder, or something else entirely?  Would the stars look different?  What kind of new star charts could he make from there?

   “I’m bored!” The high-pitched whine of a kid caught his ear.  He almost called out to invite them to read, but…no, they probably didn’t want to hear him.  All of the kids he used to read to were teenagers or adults now, and had too much responsibility to bother listening to him anymore, and the new ones probably didn’t have any interest in him.

   “Hey, this guy’ll read to you about some pretty cool stuff, if you wanna.” Tongbi glanced up from his book to see a teenager with long black hair running down past her shoulders and freckles mixing with the dust and dirt on her face.  He felt a small flower of warmth bloom in his chest.  He knew this kid.  Did she still remember him?

   “Ooo, like what?” One of the children asked as their arms swung back and forth.

    “Well, you know the little white things that are up in the sky every night?” She smiled.

   “Uh-huuuuh.” The kid nodded.

   “Well, he taught me that those are called stars, and they’re actually very, very distant suns.” She said as she walked over to the bench Tongbi was sitting on.

   “Woah!” Three kids followed her, their eyes shining brighter than the sun. 

   “But suns don’t look like that.” Another kid frowned.

   “That’s the fun part.” She sat down in front of Tongbi and skimmed the title of his current book.  “He’ll explain the whole thing.”

   The kids promptly sat down in front of him, staring up with eager curiosity that filled Tongbi with warmth.  He started explaining, slowly at first, then faster when they only seemed more intrigued.  More children, kids playing in the village and teenagers he used to read to just finished with chores, came around him and sat down, enjoying his reading and explanations.

   He hoped this never changed.  And, luckily for him, it didn’t seem that was going to happen. 

   At least, that’s what he thought, as Tongbi’s reading slowly expanded to the entire village.  As toddlers and children became teens and adults.  As people aged and grayed and passed.

   Until the Brotherhood reached out with a risk.  A risk of danger and hostility.  A risk of battle and bloodshed.  A risk of pain and uncertainty.  A risk of imprisonment.  A risk of change.

   A risk of ferocious and bloody battles by day, and wounded and torn foundations by night.

   A risk of the Celestial Realm coming down with all their fury, Nezha would be injured, and Chikao being imprisoned.

   And Tongbi denied it.

   Tongbi denied the dream.  Chikao took the risk.

#tealstars #I'm actually #not that upset about this?? #I really like the first few paragraphs of Chikao's stuff #and I got a bit run down on Tongbi's part but it's still like #good? maybe a little less? #it's on the likeable spectrum I guess lol #I tried to do a lot here so I hope it worked #if nothing else I think this helps get their personalities down a little bit more #also I'm dramatic as hell when I write I'm aware there's a reason I relate to Macaque so hard XD #I kinda tried to parallel their bits a bit?? I hope that worked #I think I managed to some extent highlight the difference between them I really wanted to highlight #and still squeeze in some other stuff that's harder to get through in just drawings and rambles #anyway actually pretty happy with this one so :333 #please tell me if you notice anything mainly bc I will be super happy if I got stuff across properly :3 #I need to just make a post collecting all the tealstar stuff together at this point XD #y'know what maybe I'll do that #imma go do that now maybe perhaps #anyway enjoy!! I'll stop rambling now lol

[messier-47]

half of me thinks "GOOD" in response to the reunion not being happy for very long while the other longs for them to be happy because they DESERVE it ! i completely understand madaras doubt in tobiramas continued existence. hes a clanless shinobi, a clanless formerly SENJU shinobi! and we all know that bloodline hunters are eager to reproduce the mokuton. even not considering bloodline hunters, he's dangerous and would be hunted anyway

its my own personal preference to see the Senju brother's more in turmoil than in good relations. FUBAR is a prime example and though I absolutely can write these two brothers meeting for the first time in a little under a decade and having a good time; where's the drama? where's the pizzazz? Where's the glitter bomb that kills four people and critically wounds seventeen?

But I don't think LordTobirama!AU would have as much heartache as FUBAR. I think it'd go a bit like this:

Their reunion is good. Better than good, it's grand. Because while Hashirama might not have been aware of who the White Fox was and exactly who was coming to Konoha, Tobirama knew exactly who hammered the foundations of peace for the Shinobi Clans of Fire Country. And Tobirama is a dramatic Senju at heart so while he comes baring caravans of provisions like a scene out of Aladdin, he also wears a veiled bamboo hat and after a bit of greetings he goes, "Grandma, it's me, Anastasia."

Hashirama screams like a little girl. Tears and snot everywhere. Madara is alarmed cause wtf?! but the brothers are just so relieved to have reunited once again. Mito gets introduced, Hashirama orders a party though it's a bit slapdashed but it's all well and good feelings. Madara and Izuna are formally introduced to Tobirama (in this i'm still unsure at what age Tobirama was banished so did Izuna and he have some sort of rivalry? would Madara even be familiar with Hashi's younger brother? idk)

And the night goes pretty well especially since everyone is just dying to tell Tobirama everything he's missed, how peace was founded, who was dared to dance in the street naked during the New Year's Festival, meeting new people like the tiny Uchiha child with curly hair.

That all changes soon enough.

It starts to get strange when Hashirama seems to think that Tobirama is back. As in staying. As in, he's a Senju again.

He's not. Especially when it's revealed that Butsuma is alive.

Butsuma is still alive, not anymore Clan Head but definitely part of the Senju Elder Council, bitter from his retirement, bitter of his eldest son's overturn of peace with the Uchiha, just a nasty peace of work. Especially with one of his legs amputated.

Tobirama and Butsuma take one look at each other and try to go for each other's throat. Oh, Hashirama immediately puts a stop to it, absolutely shocked that after 8-9 years for some reason Tobirama still wants to kill their father and Butsuma is struggling to beat his second son into the ground, spitting filthy vitrol and hating the pale man with every fiber of his being.

They are separated. Hashirama starts trying to get to the bottom of this. Why are his father and brother trying to tear each other apart? What the hell is going on?

It's revealed, the reason why Tobirama was banished and tried to kill Butsuma in the first place; as a Spare Clan Heir Tobirama was privy to all sorts of dealings when Butsuma was Clan Head and being trained to be the loyal puppet that he is, Tobirama had an interesting position of being in the room when Butsuma was making his most horrid plot to win the war against the Uchiha.

what that plot was, i sure don't know, make it horrid and absolutely unfathomable to behold the cruelty.

In response, Tobirama attempted to murder Butsuma. I imagine it'd be like trying to kill Hitler just after he voiced the plot of the Holocaust. Hashirama, without any context, stopped the fighting and Butsuma would banish his second son because as stated before: Tobirama had proven too powerful and cunning in the use of his jutsu to be properly handled by the Senju and he realized that Tobirama is privy to information he might not want getting out especially with their audience.

Flashforward to present tense, Hashirama is horrified by the truth but also...it's been so long ago. Butsuma NEVER did what Tobirama said he planned to do. Peace has been won, Konoha is being built, and Butsuma is not an issue anymore. Can't Tobirama just let go of the past, if not forgive, in the prospect of peace? Can't Tobirama stand with his Anija to build Konoha together so that men like Butsuma can never dream of such atrocities ever again?

And Tobirama just stares at Hashirama.

Stares and asks very, very carefully, "What the fuck are you even talking about?"

#LordTobirama!AU #my content #tobirama #politics #tobirama senju #fanfic i only hope to write one day #naruto

[tamiddyinyourcity]

3:41pm.

My stummy hurt, ehehe, esketit.

Sunday, April 26th of 2020:

Today has gone, interesting:

After Rowan flipped shit last night over a petty tweet I made about his lack of sexting skills, aaaaand all in all acting up, the drama continued into the next morning, when one of the girls who likes him (that unlike me, stayed his friend despite him sexting her, even though he admitted the reasons he gave her for not wanting more were just an excuse,) started White Knighting for his ass.

Imagine a fellow (ridiculously cute and thicc) girl retweeting a post where you're laughing at a dude sending you messages in all caps over dumb shit, just for her to claim I'm being dishonest.... What would I gain from lying, tell me? Believe it or not, I don't need a pat on the back from random strangers miles away online as much as one might assume. (Or if I did want that kind of praise, I'd drop an instagram selfie, not talk about a dude raging and calling me every name in the book that he can over me making a tweet related to him?)

The girl pretty much went "he doesn't even LIKE SEXTING so you must be lying!"

The simple response of "he literally hit me up on his birthday to ask for nudes, and ive seen his dick twice, whats your point?"

He even sent me 60 dollars just to get a sex toy to specifically sex me up with over cam, so, your argument is so false, sweetie...

Women.... disappoint me when they defend a man.

Anyway, I acknowledge that my tweet was definitely shady.... that was the point.

It wasn't even a tweet made to draw attention, but whoever sent him the post via DM, then whatever.

He could have easily said "I don't care", "ignore her, she's nuts", or anything. It would have fit.

Hell. Even my crazy ass, (I am self aware, always have been love,) didn't bother to try and check his Twitter.

Since I knew, "Nigga said he doesn't hate me and forgives me, but that its unrepairable, and I'm frankly still annoyed at him for some of the shit he's said in regards to me as well, and leading me on, too."

So, what would've been so interesting? What on his page would have interested me? Him crying and typing vagueposts in all caps? Posting about the Bratz movie? I didn't see the point, especially if the whole point of ending the friendship was to avoid a fixation on life and move on to something healthier.

Buuuuuut long story short, he wanted to act an ass...... In response to my dick move tweet, that wasn't even made for him or his friends eyes in the first place. (They aren't even my friends? I followed them for the memes and occasional pic hyping.)

He's always so dramatic! I even apologized ro him for (what i think) was the original tweet that made him mad, but like...... he was so extra about it.

He couldn't keep his cool whatsoever and still kept looping back around to it.

So.... stupid.

Anyway, stress isn't fun. Laughing at immature men reacting extremely bad for molehill situations is fun, and smiling at how stupid some people can get to defend a man thats guilty of acting an ass is fun....

But, a cross between mild guilt and also disappointment is apparent.

Genuinely didn't expect anyone to send it to him. Or for him to switch between "MOVE ON i dont care what u write or do", to going all caps in my DMs, since suddenly he cared??????

Ugh. Projection.

So now my IBS is happening. Probably since I slept like shit when i woke up early randomly, didn't drink water nor eat, got stressed out by twitter drama, and how I keep ordering corn salsa in my Chipotle when I know damn well I suck at chewing and digesting those little yellow motherfuckers.

Taking it easy for the rest of the day. I deserve it.

4:05pm, sleepy. Might take a nap for good measure. Peace out yalls.