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viralhottopics · 7 years

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16 Couples Who Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage Talk About How Things Turned Out

1. Sucked at first, but got better

Probably not a typical experience, but I never had PIV until the night of of my wedding with my wife (now of 8 years). Sex sucked at first, especially for her. But it’s amazing now, albeit a bit less frequent. Still getting better with time.

2. It was a big mistake

My wife and I weren’t 100% abstinent before marriage, but close. When we first started dating we fooled around some, but then she felt like waiting was the right thing to do so we didn’t do anything else until we got married.

Right when we first got married sex was alright. We did it pretty frequently, I guess. Not so much now though.

It was a mistake. Fuck abstinence. It’s the worst.

3. Awful relationship

Not my experience but my parents. They did not partake in premarital sex for religious reasons but they are pretty compatible in bed. Awkward for me to know but I still know.

However, their marriage itself wasn’t that great. They only moved in with each other after marriage before realizing that they weren’t compatible as a couple. After 20 years of fighting and divorce threats…they are still amazingly together.

4. Their sex drives are 100% different

A very good male friend of mine didn’t have sex with his current wife until after they got married (her idea), turns out that she basically hates sex and he LOVES it…they have been married 12 years bf he can count how many times they have had sex (less than 10 times).

Suffice it to say, he wouldn’t recommend waiting…

5. It didn’t hurt us

My husband and I were semi-abstinent (no PIV) for religious reasons, and didn’t live together before we got married (dated 5 years). Have now been married 2.5 years. We have a very healthy marriage and active sex life, in my opinion.

To be fair, we are more part of the Christian left and have always been sex-positive. I’m not sure if I still believe it’s essential to abstain until marriage, but it was very important to my partner, and it didn’t hurt us.

6. It ended up going great

IT’S GOING AWESOME. We didn’t have genital contact (or sight haha). He didn’t even pat my butt. We decided that would be too hard not to push the boundary if that was allowed. Ya gotta draw the line somewhere, I guess. We also didn’t talk about sex explicitly because it turned us on too much. We were pretty horny.

I think it helped us to learn how to work well together and know each other without adding in an element that can cloud the clarity in a relationship. It was also a major trust builder in each other. We accomplished something huge together, and stayed strong for each other.

We love having sex. We do it at least 2-3 times a week, and we’ve been together for over 4 years. It’s cool that neither of us can compare each other to anyone else. Special, sacred, intimate, exciting.

7. Sex has never been a problem

Great after 14 years. While we have had our own challenges, sex has never been one. We were both open about our absolute lack of sexual experience and have had a good time exploring it together exclusively

8. Glad we waited!

My husband and I waited. We don’t have any issues with our relationship because of it. We talked a lot about what our expectations would be and how we would approach it in our marriage. I’m glad we waited. It has been a learning curve sure, but we’ve been married for almost three years now and have a descent sex life. There’s been some short dry spells sure to health issues but we love each other very much and try to make the other person happy.

9. Regret not sleeping with other people

We were both pretty religious when we got married 12 years ago. We dry humped before then but that’s as far as it went. Sex was difficult for her physically at first. This was pretty discouraging for me because it was a turn off to think I was hurting her. Also a lot of lubes tended to irritate her. Also oral would make her jaw lock. So yeah, it was not that great at first.

It got better over the years. We found lubes that worked. However I stopped being religious 5 years ago. She still is. My beliefs about sex have totally changed. I have regrets about the fact that I will probably never be able to experience someone else physically. This is not to say I an dissatisfied with my wife, just that I kick myself for never exploring.

10. Brought us closer together

Still happily married 17 years later. I think it was very good because it forced us to spend time really getting to know each other while we were dating.

11. Sex was awkward at first, but it worked out

We’ve on been married less than a year as of now, but it’s going great. Of course sex was awkward at first but we had it pretty well figured out by the end of our honeymoon trip, and it’s only been getting better!

Being married is awesome, especially to such an amazing woman. I’m convinced that waiting until marriage was the correct course of action, because it allowed us to get married based on our real-world, day-to-day compatibility rather than being distracted by the bliss of intimacy. Certainly not a popular point of view, but it definitely worked for us

12. Destroyed my friend’s marriage

Not me but a lady friend. She married right after college because her SO was in the military and going to be deployed. They abstained until marriage. The sex was bad. Painful for her and I’m guessing because of that not all that enjoyable for him either. Her doctor diagnosed her with Vaginismus (a condition wherein your vaginal wall involuntarily spasms during intercourse I guess?) so she just thought it was her fault and she would never enjoy sex.

When they got back to the states and her husband went back to school they broke up for other reasons. She started dating other people and realized that sex could actually be good.

I don’t know particularly why it didn’t work with her first husband but it’s true that some people just aren’t compatible.

13. Got better over time

For religious reasons we were not only abstinent, we didn’t touch at all before marriage. The most contact we had in advance of tying the knot was we were once both sitting in the back seat of a car with a carefully delineated line of space between us and the car swerved and his leg briefly brushed against mine.

It was stressful because I was worried about all this sexual incompatibility other people talk about. But I did whatever due diligence I could manage under those constraints – we had several frank discussions about kink and experimentation and sex toys and comfort levels and at what point we’d get help if things weren’t working etc etc. I also made him buy me a vibrator- it seemed like a good symbolic gesture of “we will both work to have orgasms yes we will”. (and lube. We both bought lube. We didn’t really end up needing it but we had it available.)

The first time was mediocre but not painful, I don’t think it’s fair to expect more than that, given that we hadn’t yet worked out the positions, rhythms, etc that really worked for us. It got progressively better from there, I’m very satisfied.

I guess the surprise is that I was expecting my libido to be… Lower. But I admitted this to a friend and she laughed at me so maybe I was in denial I don’t know.

Other than that? Well, I really respect and admire and like him. I only got really infatuated after we were already married, so it’s nice knowing my non-hormone-addled mind also thinks he’s fantastic…

14. We waited, and have great sex

The most we did while dating/engaged was one heavy make out session. No groping, even. We’ve been married 5 years and have sex or he gets a bj nearly every single night, unless he’s tired or sick. I love the d, and have declined sex only once I can think of in the last several months. It worked out for us.

15. It almost destroyed our lives

Wife wanted to stay a virgin until marriage—too late for me by the time I met her, but I respected her wishes even when I was deeply depressed about it—turns out her libido is significantly lower than mine… After eighteen years of concealing my mental anguish, instead of cheating, I risked everything in asking for an ‘open marriage’ (she agreed!), and our (revised ‘polyamorous’) relationship is so much better, now.

It is fundamentally stupid/irrational to commit to monogamous marriage before you even know if you’re sexually compatible! Save yourself decades of heartache, ladies and gentlemen, and “try before you buy”!

16. “Waiting was the most dumbass thing I ever did.”

I am so late to this party but I have to chime in. Been married 26 years. We abstained from sex because of religion. Before marriage he went up my shirt once. I remember one time we sort of grinded a bit. He came but I didn’t know at the time.

Then marriage and 2 people who didn’t know what a clit was or where it was located. I cried a lot. I thought I was dysfunctional. We bought a vibrator in desperation. We both had no idea what to do with it. One night he went to work and I was determined to figure it out. Had my first orgasm at 21. Told him about it and we went from there.

Years passed and sex seemed pretty good. Had several children. I was still a bit frigid I think. I eventually left our oppressive religion. A few years later he followed.

We finally worked thru the religious sexual bullshit. Started having really mind blowing sex. I was blown away. I never knew it could be that good.

Eventually we opened up the marriage. However it didn’t work out. I was with men that sucked in bed. They were mostly selfish. He dipped his dick in crazy a few times. Idk how single guys deal with a lot of women cuz mostly we experienced cray cray.

We closed the marriage back up, at least for now and it’s been amazing. Excellent sex 4-5 times a week. More in the summer because of less work stress for both of us.

Have sex before you make a legal contract. Waiting is the most dumbass thing I ever did.

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