#also ALSO obviously these sentiments aren't present exclusively to asexual people

[nat-20s]

hello I see u have theories about ace jonbinary (GREAT pun btw) would u care to elucidate on that bc I’ve been side-eyeing my own gender but ultimately ignoring it (currently it’s at “I’m probably cis. probably”) and. idk seeing someone’s thots on the weirdness that is both asexuality and gender and where they meet might help i dunno bdbdbdkd

okay so this is less about jonbinary in specific than it is about generalization/projection and take it all with an “experiences are not universal, and this is for figuring out sexuality b4 gender” grain of salt BUT basically:

1. figuring out that you’re ace (or aro) is weird and often difficult because at least for personal stuff trying to find out you have a lack of attraction is harder than trying to find the presence of attraction and trying to categorize attraction into “is this sexual? is this romantic? is this platonic? is this aesthetic?is this even really present at all?” requires a fair amount of self evaluation

2. at least in western culture (I’m coming from a US American perspective, but I’m decently sure this is also true in England), a not insignificant part of gender and gender identity ( and a fair amount of the harshest, strictest, most cisheteronormative divisions of male and female ) is tied up with the act of sex and sexual attraction.

3. so you’ve done some internal evaluation and you’ve come to the conclusion that yeah, actually, you’re ace, and your relationship with sex is going to be different from the “average” whether you’re sex favorable, neutral, or averse. Cool!

4. Except now, by default, if you were raised in a western cisheteronormative society, you’re going to be disconnected from some aspects of your assigned gender at birth, and it’s likely that you don’t necessarily connect with another gender for similar reasons

5. at some point you realize that you’re not necessarily experiencing being male or female in a typical manner

6. This leaves you with some options: do you identity strongly with other aspects of one gender, do you identify strongly with other aspects of multiple genders, or do you kind of go ‘meh to the whole rest of the gender thing?

7. For me, I’ve realized in the past year (but have had a suspicion for awhile) that I: don’t identify at all with being male, though I do sometimes like feeling masculine, sometimes identify with being female (mostly when it’s funny), but overall feel pretty ‘meh’ about the whole gender thing, and would be happy if I either wasn’t seen as either, or was seen as Confusing tm. I also started with being like “im pretty much cis” to being like “nonbinary is more correct but i don’t necessarily feel misgendered by being seen as a woman”

How this ties in with Jonbinary:

 My personal reading of nonbinary Jon is he/they Jon and I get this because like? maybe even more so for men a LOT of gender stuff is tied into sex so he would already experience that disconnect but also to me he’s not a particularly “masculine” character? Like I would argue he’s at his most masculine in season 1- not necessarily like jock masculine but DEFINITELY (not all that great) academia masculine- the false arrogance, the hyper skepticism, the attempt to be unemotional and professional, yeah I’ve had to work with that kind of dude before again and again

however, we know that how he presents in season 1 is absolutely a performance. he deepens his voice, he goes more Arch, and puts on the Air of Highly Professional Qualified Man who Knows What He Is Doing and Is Not Scared At All

considering how far removed that is from actual Jon, who is terrified and emotional and soft and impulsive and Trying His Best but does NOT know what’s going on, the masculinity seems like a part of the farce, and thus it wouldn’t surprise me if Jon looked at the whole “being a man” thing and kind of went “eh”

TLDR: figuring out you’re ace often necessitates exploring you relationship to gender, and some us of find out our relationship to gender is either “it’s complicated” or “me and gender have officially gotten divorced” and I think jon archivist is somewhere in the middle of those two sentiments. Jonbinary rights

#tma talk #jon sims #gender talk #SORRY IF THIS IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE IT'S JUST MY FEELINGS #also ALSO obviously these sentiments aren't present exclusively to asexual people #it's just something that CAN happen with asexual people #bonnie-bug