#alas my primary care doc says nooo scary it’s almost the solstice whatever blah blah

[emeraldcreeper]

I love when all my coping mechanisms dissolve it’s fantastic i love not being able to fucking write two fucking scenes and hating the idea of my work and its contents even if I love it dearly because what if it’s Creepy to be horny for the content, when I know damn well no one hate reads it, it’s super sick that it’s really fucking cold out and I’m mildly freaked by getting catcalled when I was walking by the one park I can walk to, it’s so cool how I have no coping mechanisms for feeling godawful and my meds don’t work it’s great

#vent #I believed it would be January before I saw the psychiatrist #I just didn’t think I’d deteriorate into uh apathy? #like menial task apathy #I can’t fucking do things I like #much less things I hate #it’s totally chemical I don’t think I can fix it myself #like being grateful won’t unfuck my brain #getting some fucking chemicals that WORK might help #alas my primary care doc says nooo scary it’s almost the solstice whatever blah blah #see a psychiatrist we will refer you out #and it’s been a couple weeks now and no news #ergo I believe January will be the time I get the oh fuck yeah babe you’ve been on the same shit for 7 years maybe we swap you to new shit #I want different meds anyway I hate the nausea if I miss a day on accident