#aint no empty starbucks cups here

[stovmborn-arc]

                 ❛  what good is an empty cup? fill it.  ❜     from @clawedbear​.

              𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐁𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍.  words rang within her mind, vicious like the flames of her children and scorching beneath her skin. they followed the blue and lilac paths of her veins, until it filled her heart with both envy and anguish. the battle had been won  ;  the night king defeated, along with his soldiers and yet, daenerys still felt as though she had lost. as she sailed across the narrow sea, she thought that she would have already taken kings landing by now, the iron throne finally back under the reign of house targaryen like it had once been. instead, she sacrificed everything  –––  the war a great cost to her armies and the loss of viserion. daenerys had liberated people, giving them a freedom that they had never known, much like the free folk who lived beyond the wall with a person they chose as their ruler. but on this side of the sea, people looked at her with threat in their eyes. the king in the north had promised her that they would come to see her for what she truly was, though she did not see anybody giving their thanks to her. 

she had already promised northern independence, knowing that her family had also been guilty of taking things that did not belong to them. together, the north and the other six kingdoms would be allies who relied on one another when it was needed. winterfell had been won  ;  from house bolton and the night king. and still, they celebrated jon snow for being the one to bring the dawn. he had killed the night king, no less nor more than she had. only together, had they ended the long night. he has busied himself with tormund, davos and plenty others whilst she sits alone. a sigh catches itself in her throat, lashes fluttering with overwhelm when the seat that once belonged to him becomes occupied  –––  chair creaking.

❝  and what if i do not wish to drink anymore?  ❞  tone is dull, reptilian words leaving her tongue with ease. amethysts land on her empty cup, ignoring the full flagon that sits beside her. she does not recognise his tone but she can tell from the husky chime to his words, that he is of the north. lifting now to address him, daenerys allows lilacs to cascade upon him, grateful at the very least that somebody wished to speak with her. tyrion was elsewhere, drinking more wine than she had known to man and jorah, settling his gratitude with samwell tarly.  ❝  i was under the impression that this was supposed to feel like a celebration.  ❞

#ii. chaos is a ladder … and so is my inbox » answered memes. #vi. we don’t get to choose whom we love » alt characters. #clawedbear. #aint no empty starbucks cups here #!!! #@ CONLETH HILL

[mattyslittleworld]

love doesn't mean it'll last

I went for a walk a few hours ago to listen to some music. I got caught in a thunder storm, hiding like Tom Hanks with a volley ball, under some hangover at a school near my crib. I had to sit there for mad long. A cop drove behind it and asked if I had a warrant, wanted my name and address and all this shit I was like you’re bugging. Then drove away without giving me a ride back home like a typical trash middletown cop. But I was forced to sit down and listen to music and relax, it was actually amazing. I listened to The National’s new record Sleep Well Beast. I listened to City and Colour’s new live album. Ben Howard records. Owen’s cover of American Footballs “Never Meant”. I know from my IG and the public perception im very heavily into Hip Hop and shit but I don’t think anything can touch my heart soul and interest level like these records and artists do. Indie / Folk music really cuts deep. Some of my favorite bands are Thursday, Death Cab For Cutie, The Postal Service, Bright Eyes, Elliot Smith, Dylan, all that shit. I came up on that shit. Bands like Mae, or even Metalcore that crossed over into clean jazz parts like Misery Signals and 7 angels 7 plagues. Their piano ballad jhazmynes lullaby changed my life and I got that name tattooed on the tops of my wrists. I think that was the first time I realized you can be into hardcore, create hardcore, have the stereotypical lifestyle and look, but still be emotional. They’d go from the heaviest breakdowns right into clean pedals delay and beautiful soundscapes that you could really get lost in on a night like tonight stranded out to sea. 2 nights ago Albee played his first show back in New Jersey since the D.A. unbanned him. It was crazy. I pulled up solo and met up with them and it was crazy to see how many people fuck with that dudes movement. It was also crazy to see how famous and embraced Fetty Wap is. He was mad cool. Anyone who’s family to Belv is family to me. The crowd freaked the fuck out when he came on stage it was so sick. There was like 50 of us on stage it was such a good time and im glad I went. Makes me so stoked on all the work me and Belv have been putting in. We both got albums on deck for 4th quarter 2018, first quarter 2019. The new Mozzy came out and im sitting here just vibed out listening to the song “Blackhearted”. The beats this dude picks are so beautiful. Like piano ballad beats with soul samples, he seems very intelligent because these bars are insane. Tonight I met up with Jeff because he have this weird tradition of just going to as many shows as possible. We saw Brian Fallon again at Count Basie in Red Bank. First off - ive been working so hard lately that ive been feeling extremely extremely extremely alone. I don’t hangout with anybody 1 on 1 these days, I don’t really go out side. I literally don’t even have a social group. I travel everywhere alone, and I just in general move by myself. Im at a point now where some people have tried some fuck shit to get to some of the people ive been working with. Before this I was so busy recording so any social time to myself and “friends” was basically engineers, collaborations, and music related. The whole “go to the movies” type of social life or any normal shit has just kinda been erased from my life. Sometimes when Im out, in passing, ill see a group of like 5 or 6 kids just laughing passing me. Bonding in the simplest way and it makes me choke up. I love it. I haven’t felt that in mad long but when I think back on when I did have that - in the back of my head all I wanted to do was get a shot at music. So now that I have that shot I have to bite down. Im foaming at the mouth for this shit. Anyway tonight with Jeff was the first in awhile where I put shit aside and hung out and caught a show outside of some business shit. I appreciate that dude probably more than he realizes. He saw something in me, a fight, a fire, and linked me with Jesse - who literally spun my life in a 180. Brian is probably one of my favorite songwriters these days. I know thats a cliche thing to say but I really was there from the jump, like Myspace days. Ive met him a few times and he has a tattoo of a band I Sang for and we chopped it up and he was a really nice dude. After his show there was an immediate standing ovation. Im talking like within a second the entire sold out count Basie theater jumped to their feet and roared. It literally scared him. The look in his eyes was so unreal. I could see him thinking “how did I get here?” For kids like us its a dream to play that room. I cant imagine 10 years from now being blessed enough to sell that bitch out with a standing ovation. Within that moment I can tell he went right back to being a kid walking past that shit with “one day” eyes. I really had a good time tonight though. It was so nice to get out. After I caught up with my boy Joe who booked the show and runs The Basie. The shit he was saying to me put me on cloud 9. So encouraging. He mentioned my work all across the boards, in all genres and told me to keep going. Its hard sometimes to hold the faith but times like this when a dude who used to book your hardcore band and is now booking these crazy concerts says keep going for said reasons….damn man. Makes me wonder. Its 4:30 am and I had food and watched Ebro / Genuis interviews and passed out so im probably up for the day. This Mozzy record really is amazing. Now that im getting older im finding myself wanting to settle down with a girl and spend more time with my family and hers. That aspect of my life is creeping up. Ive never felt that. Every relationship ive ever been in was shit and stagnant with people who switched up. Ive never felt true bond. True companionship. True love. True strength. True ride or die I got you till the end marriage type shit. My hearts been empty for so long. My hearts been closed. But tonight I walked from Starbucks in red bank to the Basie, with a cup of coffee, felt the breeze of October…..and I just felt my heart being open again. Its still empty, but at least its open and I felt warm and excited for one day hopefully having the opportunity to meeting somebody that will let me make them coffee. I know that I have met her. Ive known her for about 10 years. I feel her deep in my soul….but sometimes love aint enough so ive been faced with the crossroads and I had to move forward. Hopefully one day it’ll pan out because my fists are bloody from fighting. You know who you are. I know you’re reading this. Im looking forward to halloween, and the holidays and the cold weather. Spending time by the fire, having good coffee, with good people that ive neglected over the past couple years due to tour and life and me being a dumb kid. I feel the energy shifting. I feel the industry shifting. I feel them watching. I feel her, I think of her everyday, I hope she thinks of me. -1-

Mozzy - Black Hearted