#ain't nobody got time to scroll all that lol

[coldercreation]

ramble ramble ramble

I recently got an ask/prompt that mentioned a specific scene the anon had liked in CYE, so I went back to read that, and then... ended up reading my own shit for like six hours??😭 I haven't really touched CYE since I wrapped it, so I guess it felt distant enough now that I was kinda able pretend someone else wrote it, if that makes any sense?

So anyway, I'm going to give myself a little pat-pat on the head because... like... I guess I didn't hate it? lmaooo

I mean, I didn't read it from the start but... I got pretty into it lolll I was ready to kick Nat's arse when I got to his chat with Sammy... and well, I guess it just shows that I managed to build some real tension/emotion/development into the text, and I got deep enough reading it that it didn't even matter that I knew exactly where it was going hahaha!

It's always going to be strange to try and view my own work objectively, but I think I'll keep trying every now and then, even if it makes me cringe sometimes. Just so I can improve, but also so I don't just dismiss all the hard work I've done.

I'm glad I don't hate it. Actually, I'm not sure why I expected to hate it in the first place?? Huh......

Of course there's always room for improvement, and I did find some stray typos, weird sentences, and misplaced commas, all that. But to be honest, how much do those things even matter when it comes to a story as a whole? (Unless the writing is completely illegible and the grammar gets in the way of the story, of course, but y'know what I mean.) Guess it's sometimes too easy to get stuck on those minor details in our own work and get overly perfectionistic. Like... considering it was all just me writing and editing, I reckon the state of the grammar could've been a lot worse loll

ANyWaY! I don't know what this ramble is about.... Uhhh... Fun fact?? Mentioning Sammy reminded me once again that in my original drafts Sammy was Nathan's arsehole ex?? Who had echoed the toxic traits of Nat's parents and he didn't really realise it because he grew up with that and gravitated towards that as it was familiar?? But then I decided against it, as it aligned better with Nathan's development and the state of his chronic isolation to go with the route it is now. So yeh! We almost got an actual dickhead ex-bf Sammy ooooh👀 (I do like him the way I ended up writing him<3)

Okay yeah. That's it guess? Bye! xx

#I think I've told the Sammy thing before but here it is again #because this blog has hella posts #ain't nobody got time to scroll all that lol #thank you for coming to my ted talk I guess?? #:"D #<3

[harmcityherald]

There's alot of reasons to unfollow me or block me or whatever. I ain't never been one to keep quiet and I know that constant hammering of me has to be annoying or enraging depending who you are. I been alot of things in alot of situations. I tend to not blur the images I expose as those images are the truth and sometimes I think that's all I have left. I have this phone in my hand that watches everything I do. It sells me shirts and teaches me microbiology if I want. It also is a connection from me to the world. I could be coy and shy and zip my lips so maybe I could be seen some kind of way that I find comfortable. That would make me mYstErious and true, you take alot of flak for being honest. Im not talking about fake honesty as in Im blunt so deal with it. Im talk about being genuine. I could have hidden and never said anything about nothin to nobody, nohow. I have family who choose that path and that is their path to walk. Im just as enamored of them either way. The only trouble is I do speak my mind. My story is worth telling and I will tell it as I see fit because the truth can never be argued with. Sure, we have plenty of false truths up to the moon these days, but its my...responsibility to get at least my tiny part of it all correct. responsibility to who? responsibility to the truth itself. That's what I put forward to be seen. Not some mysterious, quasi-intellectual persona crafted skillfully for social media. You see me. Im an old guy with cancer. Sometimes I do stupid shit. always did, that's why I got stories. I could just say im dumb because ima guy. but we all know Im not your typical case and I don't say that to garner some outsider cred. I am not a normal guy lol you had to know that coming in the door. So I ask you. While you are scrolling or reading or buying shoes on etsy, and the corporate world invades your space no matter what you do, what have you broadcast to the world through the magic brick we all carry. most hide. and you can't blame them. big brother is a real bitch and we all know her, all live with her. hiding keeps us separate. Being separated, you sink more deeply into the pixel realm and you buy more, spend more. We compete to pretend we look better than the rest. They make us compete for everything. Don't divulge any information because it may weaken your position and we all know that's the worst crime to fat cat international. uselessness, non-consumption, these are the nightmares of billionaires. I like to foster them. kindle them as do many of like mind.

If you follow me, you more than likely know me as you have been exposed to my verbal dances many times. Yes, knowing me is risky. More so for me than you. My cross to carry. remember ideas make you a target but silence makes you a slave. A bad world is coming and we all know it. Soon they will want to put the chips from your phone into your newly mapped cerebellum and where will we be then? and were rolling toward it like a freight train. anonymity? it died. The internet killed it. sure, you can hide from me but big brother? Im saying the fear we carry is fostered. they like you separate, until they can homogenize us all and we are all linked to the now thinking machines. My silent rebellion is being transparent. Not saying anybody should do anything because again, ideas make you a target. perhaps its only targets who can change something, affect something. Transfer ideas, using the very brick in my hand they designed to enslave me. You think maybe we aren't fighting that fight yet and Im a crackpot conspiracy nut, I beg you to simply look at the advent of AI right here in the right now. The foundations of a future we should fear is slowly being put into place. That cyberpunk future? its here, let me be the one who helps you see it.

Yes, these pixels I hammer onto this screen are here to fend off boredom, increase consumption through advertising, instill social directives or to divide the masses. Unless we harness the very thing that has us chained. Take the free college courses, build community over tyranny, learn to grow crops, communicate and be known. Make ideas bigger than the target. uphill? yes. overwhelming? absolutely. chance of having to die for your ideals? possible. but what are you without ideals worth putting your ass on the line for? We all look good spouting our moral judgements about the "new culture war" which is the same fucking thing it ever was and its always going to be because corporate stoaks that shit to divide us and it works. The journey to a better future is the most arduous climb. Will I sound like the fool who says don't take the shot if I say don't take the chip? Im telling you, we need mentats, man.

Thanks for coming to my talk. Im well aware that we didn't learn anything in this post. welcome to my psychotic mind. I would probably melt the chip anyway.

He's incompatible. psychotic. off to the protein pits with him.

[kouhaiofcolor]

Some of yall reeeeeeally gotta stop the pretentious self victimizing around being biracial — esp when it be too easy for the ones the shoe fit to say some antiblack or misogynoir shit to insist that there's some sort of "struggle" around being mixed that black ppl somehow & all on our own make uniquely harder for yall. Esp a struggle the likes of which yall try to equate to the shit fully Black ppl (esp black women) deal w on a regular basis around colorism. Or even the shit we've been being dealt historically as a community. It's always a damn comparison match w yall.

If all day all year you can choose whether or not you identify (imagine that) as Black, you have absolutely no business invalidating the colorist life experiences Black Women go thru, or making the things we shed light on regarding our global — literally global — mistreatment out to be a union against light skinned/half black women.🙄 It ain't that deep; colorism is vast, alive & well. All over the world. Try all you want to refute it; theres still privilege attached to your ethnicity as someone mixed. This is exactly why my pinned post is cutthroat ab this. Yall always miss the point & readily jump to make colorism & its industrial & social intersectionalism out to be Black People Women just rooting against yall. Slow down. Read w the intent to understand as opposed to just being ready to argue like you've been personally attacked.

Some of yall be certified biracial & borderline white passing — yet "identify" as black & immediately get defensive or shut down when a conversation is being had ab exactly how colorism & misogynoir harms fully Black Women & benefits fair skinned half black women, racially ambiguous women & non black women in general. If you identify as a black woman, why you got all this energy to be so nasty to em or regarding them when it's time to talk ab how this world has literally never allowed them to exist w/o a prejudice reserved specifically & exclusively for us? How come its so easy for you to contribute to the toxicity that directly affects us if you identify as one of us? How come so many of yall be so deadass silent when even Black men climb up on that self-serving pedestal to make fully black women out to be less than? Where that snarky energy be at then? Yall be sounding delusional as hell lol.

The world's hatred of black women — & how other races of women have been culturally esteemed by their abuse for centuries — is not something non or half black women experience within the same quantity or quality anywhere on this planet. Don't even get me started on how common it is for yall to almost always have some sort of animosity toward dsbw or the black community in general on the looping "I wasn't black enough to them" stance. Like come on. Be consistent. Be fr. Nobody's targeting yall; nobody envies you; nobody's out to get you; your livelihood is never at risk — just bc we speak on how comfortably yall misrepresent & ostracize us anyhow.

If we're so uniquely discriminatory as a community & diaspora, how come yall don't choose to identify as anything else even when yall legitimately be a whole entire significant percentage of other ethnicities. Yall wouldn't fw blackness if it wasn't a peak trend rn stop it. Yall could definitely do a better job at listening & decentering yourselves where it really matters ijs. If this don't apply to you keep scrolling I'm not debating w nobody.

#mine.txt #colorism #misogynoir #antiblackness #mixed race #biracial #blm #black tumblr #black twitter #non blacks dont interact #culture vultures #cultural appropriation #cultural fetishisation #cultural fetishism

[beloved-31-proverbs-women]

So I feel like I need address this! If you come on my posts or page trying be argumentative and negative, I will block right then. I don't tolerate this kind of behavior or discord on this page. If only people would scroll on by 🤷 ain't nobody got time for that 🤷🤦

These posts are not to glorify me in any way, it's all about Jesus!!

I am not everyone's cup of tea and I am cool with that. Hezekiahs Wall ministry was birthed into my life to reach those broken and hurting, to call forth the Lazarus in you to come forth and come alive! To take you out of that comfort zone and cause you to go deeper. As my recent post, God does love you and wants to take you out of situation you find yourself and make all things new! I want to encourage you,. challenge you to soar higher, Sharpen you like iron and to also help those that need him to find him. We all have that past like David, Moses, and Paul among countless others, but we are not a slave to the past. We are moving forward with an unquenchable fire!!

I am his daughter, his wildflower, I have no desire to fit in any religious mold! I broke free of all that! I do not live according to opinions of man, but serve an audience of one! I am loved by some and hated by some I am sure, some can't handle me at 100 proof 😘🙋😛😎 lol!

I love you guys and thank you to all who I been blessed to connect with. So glad y'all are here! I just bless you and appreciate you so much!