#actually i am stupid and mediocre and useless and unemployable

[elesssar]

don’t get to progress to the next stage/get hired for a job yet again. which is fine. but i feel really really bad about myself :))))))))

#i have always felt that i’m really mediocre as a grad student #and i’m mediocre as an employee and mediocre as a person #and no is going to hire me and my mum will be on my case every single day #wanting to know why i’m not writing journal articles and not applying for jobs #and why i’m not working all day every day #and i feel so at a loose end i’m BORED i want a job #but the longer i Don’t have a job the more i feel like #actually i am stupid and mediocre and useless and unemployable #and my degrees aren’t worth anything and i don’t know why i bother #i also feel angry that i get my confidence knocked so hard every time i get rejected #but everyone else in my cohort seems smarter and better than me #i don’t know what’s wrong with me :((( #i don’t like whining for attention in the group chat so tumblr post it is #also like why can’t i fucking even. write some stories whilst i wait #or do journal articles #why can’t i just be better and smarter #sigh. #beth vs life